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Mia - brickwall

rickproehl

Entry posted by rickproehl

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Mia - a bomb has dropped into my life and the pieces are everywhere. i have not heard or spoken to someone very special to me. i last spoke to this person in the rehab center last Friday.he had knee surgery and we made plans for Sunday which was our normal day. Then my world changed went to the rehab Center and no friend / lover no word no message. Damn rules that won’t help me I’m not family. Went out to car and fell apart wondering what happen. Made a few phone calls and again that blasted brick wall. Did all the normal stuff / phone / email / went by his house nothing no reply no contact.  nothing answered - no messages - no social contacts and this silence is killing me. Trying to move forward but my heart won’t let me.  My head tells me it’s ok he will Call or message me .. still waiting and that is killing me. Working on the things i can change but that only last only so long. I dread that time after midnight when those voices and doubts come to mind. With the what if’s? The why? The self doubt and this is just as bad as the not knowing. My place is to be there for him but i’m not and this is killing me. 
All i ask for  is a message ? a call an email so many simple things we all take for granted. That one small deed would break this brick wall. So if you have a special someone hug them tell them you love them. You just never know.

 

added Sunday -

how do you fight silence? 
 

Update Tuesday 

  came across this quote: “Listen and silent are spelled with the same letters. Think about that” nothing happens in your life without a reason or a life lesson. So taking this to heart. Letting go of the unknown and staying focus on the task at hand

update Wednesday 

Good News - the brick wall has   been destroyed Steve is home now and we are having supper. When he was moved  his phone book was lost and that is the reason he didn’t call. We have spoken and we are stronger than before. Just wanted to update everyone. 

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12 Comments

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Mikiesboy

Aw, rick, I am so sorry. Does have family that you know? Can you contact them? i am sorry you're having to go through this.

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rickproehl

Thanks tim but i have used every number, email address and every contact i have for him. I even went by his house and sat for a few minutes. I just have to wait no other choice. the not knowing hurts. I email a morning and evening message like before and make sure i put my phone number in it. Like i said all i want is a message. Something as simple as that would help. 
tim thank you for you concerned and you and Michael Sir that care. 

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Mikiesboy
7 minutes ago, rickproehl said:

Thanks tim but i have used every number, email address and every contact i have for him. I even went by his house and sat for a few minutes. I just have to wait no other choice. the not knowing hurts. I email a morning and evening message like before and make sure i put my phone number in it. Like i said all i want is a message. Something as simple as that would help. 
tim thank you for you concerned and you and Michael Sir that care. 

Not knowing does hurt ... i understand that only too well. i will hope that soon you hear something. xo

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rickproehl
22 minutes ago, MichaelS36 said:

He's your boyfriend … have you considered the police? 

Michael Sir, 

yes i have thought of getting the police involved but trying to get a hold of ex wife and his Son left messages for both of them. i also went by his house but no activity. since Sunday has been our day i’m hoping he would contact me today. Last plan is sending a registered letter to his mailing address. 

As painful as this is if this fails then it will be time to walk away. i need to move forward with or without him. spent time this am focused on things i can change and this is the plan. It has to be this way. 

Thank You Michael Sir! For your Good Advice as always.

 

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dutch woman

I hope your friend show up and is okay. Hold yourself together and don't drink! Look for other friends or things to do, bug don't lose yourself

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rickproehl
12 minutes ago, dutch woman said:

I hope your friend show up and is okay. Hold yourself together and don't drink! Look for other friends or things to do, bug don't lose yourself

Still nothing - it’s hard to fight silence - so waiting till next week. My head says patience but my heart has other ideas. The drinking i never have and never will - my father was a drunk and i vowed never to drink. 
thank you for you good thoughts and well wishes.

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rickproehl
14 hours ago, MacGreg said:

Hmm. That is disconcerting. Has anyone you've contacted - family or friends - heard from him? 

The sad thing is  i have heard nothing from anyone. No one has return my calls. i went by his house again yesterday and nothing. 
this may sound morbid but i have check the obituaries in case something terrible happen. his family owns a Funeral Homes and he did mention he had it all plan out. So the only thing i can do is wait. so following the original plan. So focused on the things i can change. Trying to ignore the what if’s the why’s and the silence. 
thank you MacGreg Sir, and i hope things are going good for you. 
rick

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MacGreg
1 hour ago, rickproehl said:

The sad thing is  i have heard nothing from anyone. No one has return my calls. i went by his house again yesterday and nothing. 
this may sound morbid but i have check the obituaries in case something terrible happen. his family owns a Funeral Homes and he did mention he had it all plan out. So the only thing i can do is wait. so following the original plan. So focused on the things i can change. Trying to ignore the what if’s the why’s and the silence. 
thank you MacGreg Sir, and i hope things are going good for you. 
rick

Still, very strange. you should not have been left in the dark. May you find some peace.

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rickproehl
30 minutes ago, dutch woman said:

Have you heard of your friend?

yes i had they moved Steve to a new nursing home and he lost my number.

so yes we have been together for a while now and he has all of my numbers in his phone.

thanks for asking.

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