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Working on something new



Over the past week, I've started working on another story. Several years ago I took part in NaNoWriMo when I was suffering from writer's block. It certainly did the trick, as I managed to write 52,000 words during the month of November. The story I'd planned out had lots of my favourite elements in it; cinemas, the supernatural, a mystery and romance. As I was writing it at a rate of about 1000-2000 words a day, it was rough in places and the ending was a bit rushed as I wanted to finish a complete story within the set time rather than just do a part of one. Still, as I read through it, I realised I had the core of something that could be tweaked, edited and made better. 

I'm now probably about two thirds of the way through the new, improved version of my as yet untitled 'Cinema Mystery Story'. Thought I'd post a couple of excerpts here to see if anyone has any comments. I'm hoping it's something people would enjoy reading.

Excerpt One:

Colin pointed at the time sheet, clipped to the wall above the viewing port. 'It's all on there.' 
'Oh, right. Yes.' I was conscious of not doing very well so far. Perhaps it was best to tackle the root of the problem. 'Look, Colin, I know you applied for this job as well. I appreciate all the years you've been here and the experience you have. I hope we can work together as a team.' 
'This your first chief's job?' he asked brusquely. 
'Yes, it is.' 
'Know how long I've been in the business?' 
'A few years, I imagine.' 
'Nearly forty of them, lad. That's a few more years than you've been alive, I'll wager.' 
'So don't go trying to tell me how to do my job.' His face was starting to get red. He'd obviously been bottling this lot up for a long time. 
'I just said that I valued your experience. I mean that.' 
'I've been doing the bloody chief's job here for the last few years, since Maurice started to go all forgetful. I covered for him. I did his bloody job, while he were getting the wage, and never complained, never said owt that would get him into bother...' 

Excerpt Two:

Maurice shook his head. 'But it's not your concern. Forget it.' 
There was something here that wasn't just premature senility. Suddenly I remembered the card falling out of the pack. The High Priestess. A secret. 
Maurice knew the way up to the box, but then it had been a part of his life for many years. Old memories were always the last to go. He sat himself in the comfy chair and I put the kettle on to boil. There were other things I should be doing, but this might be - no, was - important. I might never get another chance to talk to him like this. 
'This old well, Maurice. How long has it been there?' 
'Years. Dated back to the old days, when the big house stood here.' 
'The house that was here before they built the cinema?' 
'That's right. Victorian, it was. All covered in ivy, my mum said. When she was a little girl, the children used to dare each other to climb over the wall. They said it was haunted.' 

'Well, you know how kids are. It had been empty for a while and was falling down. Then the land was sold for development and the cinema went up.' 
'And this well is under the cinema? Under screen three?' 
'Yes. But don't tell anyone. I promised not to tell.' 

Excerpt Three:

Cynthia looked me in the eye. 'You have been on a long and tiring journey. You've found what you sought. Trust what you've learned so far, using intuition and you won't go wrong.'
For a few more moments I studied the cards. 'Spot on.' I said. 'I wanted to know if I should trust my intuition and I've just been given the answer.' 

Cynthia looked at the last card again. ‘You know, I’m getting another feeling about this knight. He’s an empathic person who might be your knight in shining armour. He’s riding in to sweep you off your feet.’

‘Get off,’ I said. ‘There’s no romance on my horizon right now.’

‘Are you sure about that? Maybe you should pick another card?’


‘Go on. It’s not going to hurt.’ She fanned the remainder of the deck out again.

I paused, hovering above them, then picked one, turning it over right away. I almost laughed out loud. It was the Two of Cups. The lover’s card.

Cynthia smiled. ‘Something you aren’t telling me about?’



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      “Yeah, we grew up together in Charlottesville. He moved to Washington a few years ago when our friend Tim mated with a bear out there. When they went to Jon’s parents’ house Tony’s mate was there. After Tony found out his mate had actually tried to break Jon and Tim up, Tony was furious and hurt. His mate was actually there to get Jon’s mom’s help to come between Jon and Tim; it was then that Tony rejected Steve. He thought if Steve would try to break up a mated pair what was to stop him from straying from his mate.”
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      “Yeah, I talked to him last night. Steve has been leaving messages on his phone, mailing him notes, and calling him at all hours of the day. A few days ago there was a sighting of rogues as they met with a stranger. The enforcers took several photos of the meeting and when Tony saw the first photo he pointed out that the stranger was actually Steve. That afternoon a note was delivered to Alpha Jeff. It said, ‘Give me Tony and your pack will be left alone.’ When they refused to hand Tony over to him some of the pack children started to disappear. To date, there have been five children taken and it is taking a toll on the pack.”
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      “His family is in Virginia and they could care less about what happens to him. When he told them he was gay they kicked him out. However, we do still have friends back there that will probably show up when they hear about this.”
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      I freshened up before I went down for dinner. I walked downstairs and the most delicious aroma tickled my nose, it smelled like pine and cherries. My stomach clenched and I began to worry that they wouldn’t accept me because of my past promiscuity. It didn’t matter to me that I had already made the decision to stop my playing around.
      I made it to the dining room and saw the most beautiful man in the world. There stood a man with jet black hair that seemed to have a blue tinge to it in certain light and hazel eyes that glinted like jewels as he happily talked to Jeremy and Jon.
      Jon and his mate had come to visit Jeremy and Alex several times in the past few years. In that time, I had gotten to know both of them and knew they were great guys. I could only assume that the man talking to them was Tony. He looked like he would come to my chin and I was six foot five.
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      “Louis, there you are, come meet Tony,” said Jeremy. I walked over to where they stood and the aroma got stronger the closer I got to them. He turned to the guys he was talking to and said, “Jon, I’m sure you remember Louis from the Lonestar Pack. Tony this is Louis. He was sent by Alpha Jackson to lead the team of enforcers to help with the situation with Steve and the rogues to get the children back and to get Steve to leave you alone.” He turned to me and said, “Louis, this is one of my best friends Tony.”
      “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tony.” He just stood there and stared at me.
      “Oh man, of course, this would happen to me,” he mumbled.
      “Tony, what’s wrong man?” Jon asked worriedly.
      “I gotta get out of here.” He looked around quickly and immediately turned and walked quickly away with Jon calling out to him.
      Jon turned to me and said, “I’m sorry Louis. He’s never been like that before; he’s always been a friendly person. There’s not a rude bone in his body.”
      My heart felt like it had broken into a million pieces at the implied rejection of my mate. I gave Jon a small smile. “I’m sure he has a million things on his mind with all that is going on.”
      “I’m sure that’s what it is.” Dinner started to be brought in and laid out on the buffet table. “Let’s grab a plate and find a seat.”
      I tried to put on a happy face but I’m not sure how well that worked because Jon and Tim kept giving me weird looks for the rest of the night. After dinner Alpha Jeff called everyone together to try and come up with a plan on how to deal with the asshole that was bothering their pack.
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      “Steven is not in his right mind and I would guarantee that he is not working alone. He wants Tony, but Tony has rejected him as his mate, and before you start to blame Tony you need to know that he had reasons to reject Steven. We need to focus on the main point which is getting the children back safely,” said Jon.
      I could tell by the looks on some of their faces that what Jon said passed right over them and that they did hold Tony responsible and that they could cause problems. I would need to keep an eye on them because I wasn’t about to let anyone hurt my mate, whether he acknowledged the bond or not. I would do my best to keep him safe even if that meant moving to Washington and giving up my position in my pack.
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