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Working on something new


Mawgrim

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Over the past week, I've started working on another story. Several years ago I took part in NaNoWriMo when I was suffering from writer's block. It certainly did the trick, as I managed to write 52,000 words during the month of November. The story I'd planned out had lots of my favourite elements in it; cinemas, the supernatural, a mystery and romance. As I was writing it at a rate of about 1000-2000 words a day, it was rough in places and the ending was a bit rushed as I wanted to finish a complete story within the set time rather than just do a part of one. Still, as I read through it, I realised I had the core of something that could be tweaked, edited and made better. 

I'm now probably about two thirds of the way through the new, improved version of my as yet untitled 'Cinema Mystery Story'. Thought I'd post a couple of excerpts here to see if anyone has any comments. I'm hoping it's something people would enjoy reading.

Excerpt One:

Colin pointed at the time sheet, clipped to the wall above the viewing port. 'It's all on there.' 
'Oh, right. Yes.' I was conscious of not doing very well so far. Perhaps it was best to tackle the root of the problem. 'Look, Colin, I know you applied for this job as well. I appreciate all the years you've been here and the experience you have. I hope we can work together as a team.' 
'This your first chief's job?' he asked brusquely. 
'Yes, it is.' 
'Know how long I've been in the business?' 
'A few years, I imagine.' 
'Nearly forty of them, lad. That's a few more years than you've been alive, I'll wager.' 
'Yes.' 
'So don't go trying to tell me how to do my job.' His face was starting to get red. He'd obviously been bottling this lot up for a long time. 
'I just said that I valued your experience. I mean that.' 
'I've been doing the bloody chief's job here for the last few years, since Maurice started to go all forgetful. I covered for him. I did his bloody job, while he were getting the wage, and never complained, never said owt that would get him into bother...' 

Excerpt Two:

Maurice shook his head. 'But it's not your concern. Forget it.' 
There was something here that wasn't just premature senility. Suddenly I remembered the card falling out of the pack. The High Priestess. A secret. 
Maurice knew the way up to the box, but then it had been a part of his life for many years. Old memories were always the last to go. He sat himself in the comfy chair and I put the kettle on to boil. There were other things I should be doing, but this might be - no, was - important. I might never get another chance to talk to him like this. 
'This old well, Maurice. How long has it been there?' 
'Years. Dated back to the old days, when the big house stood here.' 
'The house that was here before they built the cinema?' 
'That's right. Victorian, it was. All covered in ivy, my mum said. When she was a little girl, the children used to dare each other to climb over the wall. They said it was haunted.' 

'Really?' 
'Well, you know how kids are. It had been empty for a while and was falling down. Then the land was sold for development and the cinema went up.' 
'And this well is under the cinema? Under screen three?' 
'Yes. But don't tell anyone. I promised not to tell.' 

Excerpt Three:

Cynthia looked me in the eye. 'You have been on a long and tiring journey. You've found what you sought. Trust what you've learned so far, using intuition and you won't go wrong.'
For a few more moments I studied the cards. 'Spot on.' I said. 'I wanted to know if I should trust my intuition and I've just been given the answer.' 

Cynthia looked at the last card again. ‘You know, I’m getting another feeling about this knight. He’s an empathic person who might be your knight in shining armour. He’s riding in to sweep you off your feet.’

‘Get off,’ I said. ‘There’s no romance on my horizon right now.’

‘Are you sure about that? Maybe you should pick another card?’

‘Well…’

‘Go on. It’s not going to hurt.’ She fanned the remainder of the deck out again.

I paused, hovering above them, then picked one, turning it over right away. I almost laughed out loud. It was the Two of Cups. The lover’s card.

Cynthia smiled. ‘Something you aren’t telling me about?’

 

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      “Yeah, I talked to him last night. Steve has been leaving messages on his phone, mailing him notes, and calling him at all hours of the day. A few days ago there was a sighting of rogues as they met with a stranger. The enforcers took several photos of the meeting and when Tony saw the first photo he pointed out that the stranger was actually Steve. That afternoon a note was delivered to Alpha Jeff. It said, ‘Give me Tony and your pack will be left alone.’ When they refused to hand Tony over to him some of the pack children started to disappear. To date, there have been five children taken and it is taking a toll on the pack.”
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      ***
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      ***
      I freshened up before I went down for dinner. I walked downstairs and the most delicious aroma tickled my nose, it smelled like pine and cherries. My stomach clenched and I began to worry that they wouldn’t accept me because of my past promiscuity. It didn’t matter to me that I had already made the decision to stop my playing around.
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      My heart felt like it had broken into a million pieces at the implied rejection of my mate. I gave Jon a small smile. “I’m sure he has a million things on his mind with all that is going on.”
      “I’m sure that’s what it is.” Dinner started to be brought in and laid out on the buffet table. “Let’s grab a plate and find a seat.”
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