Okay, so I learned something this weekend, and I don't think I was supposed to know what i found out. We went camping this weekend and we had a really good time. When it was late last night and my stepmom was asleep, me and my dad stayed up and kept the fire burning so we could visit with eachother.

I guess I should stop here and tell everyone that until last week my dad had no idea that I came here and that I was writing. He got on my pc and figured it out. Anyway, he sent me a dumb pm with his gay sn that he made, but we talked about it before I saw it and it wasnt a big deal.

So anyway, we were just talking last night and it was nice to spend some time alone with him. We talked about poetry, and I found out he had a published poem when he was little. He still remembered it, and if it went the way he told it to me, it was really good and soooo sad. It was about one of his only memory of my grandparents being married, and while we were talking about it, he told me a lot of stuff I never knew. Hearing some of it actually made me so mad at my grandpa and it made me think about my grandma differently.

My dad said when he was little he lived with my grandma and my grandpa never paid child support like he was supposed to, so my grandma had to work two jobs while she was going to school and my dad said he could remember when he would eat dinner but she didn't because she woould go without food to make sure there was enough for him.

I can't even believe that. I can't even imagine my grandpa, who I love sooo much, being that way. I dont even think I want to know what his reason was. Just the look on my dads face while he was talking about it made me feel angry. The idea that my dad, who does everything for anyone ever felt that way makes me angry. He said that my grandma used to sit in her room alone and cry when she thought he was asleep and he could hear her from his bedroom.

Just knowing that my dad went through all of that stuff makes me understand some things, like why my aunt hates my grandpa. I guess she doesnt hate him, but she's mad at him for something and I think I know what it is now. I think I'm still mad about it, and even though it's my dad and my aunt who have to forgive him. I'm not sure if I forgive him.

We're going to Florida to see him in two weeks, and I wonder how it's gonna go. I mean, I dont know if I can treat him the same now. I guess all I can do is wait to see. Wish me luck.