**It's okay to punch a strange person that runs a finger down your back to your ass when you're trying to pee in a public restroom, right? I didn't, simply grabbed his fingers and rolled his knuckles together, but it was a near thing.

**In keeping with the tradition that the only people who friend me on Facebook are people I have no particular desire to ever talk to again, *ever*, my mom's family is one by one joining the mob. I think it's prudent now that there is no current contact information on there.

**Speaking of my mom's family, I saw the entire Mexican army that is them a few weeks ago. Okay, well, not ALL of them, but several hundred. My dad defended my "lifestyle choice" to one of my mom's cousins in a, shall we say, less than diplomatic manner. I'd known before he could cuss in that many languages, but I'd never before seen a demonstration. By the look on my mom's face, neither had she. It was quite touching, really.

**My niece managed to walk away from a fight this last week. This is most impressive, as none of the rest of us have shown the ability to do so, outnumbered, overmatched, or anything. My sisters and I have come to the conclusion that it must be the Ritalin.

**Total spent on entire rest of my family today: $200. Total spent on new iPod for myself: $196. This is how I do Christmas shopping.

**But because this is my life, I come home and check in with the family, only to find out that they all agreed last week to draw names and that I'm only expected to buy one small ornament. Most people might just turn around and return the gifts, perhaps smiling that they won't be feeling the pinch so hard this year. Not me. I worked an entire extra week over the last month to get everyone nice presents that they'd like. They are getting their bloody gifts and liking them now.

**I just now have to go buy an ornament for my brother-in-law whom I'm not particularly fond of. I'm sorely tempted to buy him a "Team Jacob" ornament, and watch in glee as he tried to figure out what the hell it is. Actually, seeing as he's rather proud of being Mexican, I think he'd disapprove of the White boyfriend on principle, so he really might be on Team Jacob.