Grow up

[GaryKelly]

"Grow up", my younger bro once said to me. Yeah, right, and be as boring as he is? Ya can't stop the wrinkles, mate, but you can do something about keeping the ol' gray soup young. So, you ask, what is 'young'? Young is malleable, young is pliable, young is open windows to allow the fresh air in, young is learning, young is fascination, young is wonder. Lose those things and you're history. Comments please.

[Graeme]

"Grow up" usually means become more mature. That is not the same as losing your youth. It is possible to be mature and also have the attributes of youth, such as freshness of vision, or a wonder of the world around us. Similarly, young doesn't have to mean immature or innocent, which is what the terms "malleable" and "pliable" imply.

 

What is "young"? Freshness, openness, growing.

[Krista]

Hmm, being young at heart is a good way to live a life at times. It's a really great way to relieve stress, to approach things in a way that's different and less serious than normal is ok. I do think people should act their age most of the time though... lol. I hate seeing kids acting too old or adults trying to be their children's best friend by acting and dressing like them.

 

Krista

[Raro]

There's this quote that's stuck with me: "When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old" (Bill Clinton).

 

I think I'm particularly susceptible to overanalyzing the past, navel gazing, etc., and I have to keep reminding myself not to... And then of course there's the tendency to just ignore whatever plans I have for the future and live day-to-day. But perhaps the key word in the quote is "outweigh"; it's not so important how much relative time we spend on current concerns, the past, or our dreams, but rather which are most important to us. And I'd like to think my dreams rank highly, even when I'm drifting in the currents of more boring things. As a guy I know says [paraphrasing], "go in the direction you have to go; keep your eyes in the direction you want to go." Maybe that's what being a kid is all about: not looking where you're going!

 

Raro

 

(and please forgive the navel gazing)

[JamesSavik]

Maturity is over-rated.

 

I don't see many mature people who like to play in summer rain ...but I do!

 

Mature people look on in disgust and wish they could remember how to have a good time.

[GaryKelly]

There's this quote that's stuck with me: "When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old" (Bill Clinton).

 

And here's another one from Robert Flaherty: There's a saying among prospectors: go out looking for one thing and that's all you'll ever find.

 

I don't see many mature people who like to play in summer rain ...but I do!

 

I do too...with an umbrella.

 

I do think people should act their age most of the time though... lol. I hate seeing kids acting too old or adults trying to be their children's best friend by acting and dressing like them.

 

Krista

 

If I were straight I'd propose.

Edited June 4, 2007 by AFriendlyFace

[jfalkon]

I agree, maturity is over rated. When I say maturity I meen that state where your inhibitions over run your personality. There are many things in life that one can enjoy. I think it makes no sense to deprive a person of a good time simply because someone put an age limit on it. If you want to play with your lego blocks when you are thirty or fourty I see nothing wrong with that. Avoiding activities you like on account of your age can only serve to limit your imagination and make you unhappy. It is alright for a person's tastes to change over time as long as it is for the right reasons.

 

When people say "Grow up!" it is usualy in a moment of frustration. The person is usualy saying it in mid-tantrum with no concern for what it means to grow up. They could just as well have said "Go to hell." Don't read too much into it.

 

On the other hand, if someone is trying to act like a child to win the aproval of a child that person is asking for trouble. In the first place that person is being dishonest by acting like someone else. Secondly, you can not win someone's respect by caving in everytime they make a demand. It is like giving into peer presure except it is presure from your children and not your peers. That is not the same as being youthful.

[Ieshwar]

For me, a young person is one who lives life. Each day, he welcomes life with open arms and with a smile. He's enthusiastic. He's eager to receive whatever life gives him. He wants to live every moment.

 

But there's a question I wanted to ask everyone: According to your definition of 'young', are you young?

 

I don't think I'm really young. Most of the times, I feel like an exhausted machine who has to do the same thing daily, daily, daily! Boring, you know.

 

Ieshwar

[GaryKelly]

But there's a question I wanted to ask everyone: According to your definition of 'young', are you young?

 

Ieshwar

 

A young friend said of me, "You're pretty teeny for a fossil". Try to figure that one out.

[Graeme]

I agree, maturity is over rated. When I say maturity I meen that state where your inhibitions over run your personality.

We appear to have different definitions of maturity. Maturity, to me, consists largely of taking responsibility for your actions. A mature person can go dancing in the rain -- as long as they understand the consequences (clothes getting wet, etc.). If they understand that and are happy to live with that, then I still think they are mature.

 

On the other hand, if someone is trying to act like a child to win the aproval of a child that person is asking for trouble. In the first place that person is being dishonest by acting like someone else. Secondly, you can not win someone's respect by caving in everytime they make a demand. It is like giving into peer presure except it is presure from your children and not your peers. That is not the same as being youthful.

Again, we appear to have different definitions. I will often act like a child with my boys -- I'm lowering myself to their level. I don't expect them to be interested in modern politics, or major environmental issues, so if I want to interact with them, I have to do it largely on their turf, not mine. I don't consider that to be dishonest. That also doesn't mean I will cave into their every demand -- I can assure you I don't, but I try to accommodate them when it is feasible to do so.

 

Having said that, kids are capable of exerting huge amounts of pressure on their parents, especially very young kids. You're definitely right there.

[Krista]

We appear to have different definitions of maturity. Maturity, to me, consists largely of taking responsibility for your actions. A mature person can go dancing in the rain -- as long as they understand the consequences (clothes getting wet, etc.). If they understand that and are happy to live with that, then I still think they are mature.

Again, we appear to have different definitions. I will often act like a child with my boys -- I'm lowering myself to their level. I don't expect them to be interested in modern politics, or major environmental issues, so if I want to interact with them, I have to do it largely on their turf, not mine. I don't consider that to be dishonest. That also doesn't mean I will cave into their every demand -- I can assure you I don't, but I try to accommodate them when it is feasible to do so.

 

Having said that, kids are capable of exerting huge amounts of pressure on their parents, especially very young kids. You're definitely right there.

 

 

Playing with your kids and understanding them is different than the loss of maturity. That's actually a lovely atribute that makes me want to nominate you for 'Father of the Year.'

[GaryKelly]

I will often act like a child with my boys -- I'm lowering myself to their level.

 

With respect, I think that sentence is in need of rephrasing. I'm not a father but I did get a father's day greeting from Kyle, my best friend and the hero of Green Room (www.kellytrader.com ). He was 15 when I met him online and I was mid 50s. He never 'raised' himself to my level and I never 'lowered' mine to his. I understand what you meant, Graeme, but I think your choice of words was a mistake. Kyle and I enjoyed a very special and close relationship (purely platonic) and great empathy with each other. He, however, did respond to a question I posed about our friendship with..."Well, I was never really interested in archeology before I met you..." Cheeky bugger. Yes, varying levels exist, but in the context of human relations I don't believe they relate to height.

[Dio]

We appear to have different definitions of maturity. Maturity, to me, consists largely of taking responsibility for your actions. A mature person can go dancing in the rain -- as long as they understand the consequences (clothes getting wet, etc.). If they understand that and are happy to live with that, then I still think they are mature.

I was hoping someone would say that before I did.

 

When I hear the term "Grow up", it's usually used as an exclamatory emoting a certain situational exasperation. I certainly don't relate maturity to age. If that were true, the whole phrase would just be ordering us all to go through puberty again. Once was enough, thank you.

 

I will often act like a child with my boys -- I'm lowering myself to their level.

With respect, I think that sentence is in need of rephrasing.

 

Sure, taken by itself that sounds rather arrogant, but it fit nicely into the point he was making. You appear to have associated the lowering as bad. I, as a representative of the five-foot-short community, appreciate any and all who would like to lower themselves to my level. Low is just a different perspective. The connotation that he was 'being purposefully dumb' (or something similar), is entirely based on interpretation. I suppose this entire side-bar would have been averted had Graeme said 'modified', instead of 'lowered'. But then I might get the impression that low is somehow inferior to high. We wouldn't want THAT would we?

 

-db-

[Graeme]

Hmm... Now I'm confused.

 

I agree that the term "lowering" I used has not to do with height. It was in context to the level of maturity -- and six year old boys are not noted for their high levels of maturity

 

But is "lowering" exclusively to do with height, or is it just a reference in terms of quantity as expressed in a vertical bar graph?

 

I think we're getting off topic, but I won't be politically correct because I don't believe that the context I used the phrase is offensive. There are certainly times when "lowering" has a lot of negative connotations, but I don't think this is one of them. As Dio indicated -- lowering can just be altering to a new perspective.

[jfalkon]

I think I wasn't realy expressing myself well in my last post. I think its great that parents are willing to take an intrest in whatever their children are doing. I was very happy when ever my parents played with me when I was little. I am thankful for that.

 

The people I have a problem with are the parents who let their children decide how they will behave, dress, etc. outide of play-time/familly-time. For example, just because your kid thinks Barney is the greatest show on TV does not mean you should wear a Barney tshirt to work. There are some people who go to extreams trying to be "cool" parents. They are so bussy being "cool" that their kids never get to know them. To me that is sad.

[Graeme]

The people I have a problem with are the parents who let their children decide how they will behave, dress, etc. outide of play-time/familly-time. For example, just because your kid thinks Barney is the greatest show on TV does not mean you should wear a Barney tshirt to work. There are some people who go to extreams trying to be "cool" parents. They are so bussy being "cool" that their kids never get to know them. To me that is sad.

You won't get an argument from me on this one Indeed, we have a computer game of hangman where one of the clues is "Disgusting Purple Dinosaur". The boys know that the answer is "Barney"

[eliotmoore]

[omit] ... Maturity, to me, consists largely of taking responsibility for your actions. A mature person can go dancing in the rain -- as long as they understand the consequences (clothes getting wet, etc.). If they understand that and are happy to live with that, then I still think they are mature... [omit]

 

 

Graeme is right...

 

Maturity is getting confused with age. There is a correlation but the two are not congruent. People pretend that living in the now is is somehow better than stifling in the grips of maturity. Well we Carbon Elite nations are dancing away in the rain and I don't think we are considering the consequences. Maturity is not over rated, it is vastly underrated today.