Bisexuality and Pregnancy

[The_Silence]

It seems like everyone around me is either becoming pregnant or Bisexual.

 

 

 

Is it all happening around you too?

 

 

 

You guys are more than welcome to express your thoughts.

[Benji]

It seems like everyone around me is either becoming pregnant or Bisexual.

 

 

 

Is it all happening around you too?

 

 

 

You guys are more than welcome to express your thoughts.

 

:wacko: ........Well I'm positive I'm not pregnant!!!! So that leaves me the other choice!!

[S.L. Lewis]

:wacko: ........Well I'm positive I'm not pregnant!!!! So that leaves me the other choice!!

 

 

Well, I would hope not!! Personally, I'm not preggers either, but I am bi, nearly gay.

[Procyon]

I, too, am neither, but both would be exciting I'm sure. I know being pregnant is, anyway, depending on who the father is, a bit. Well, possibly rather a lot. But hmm, being bi -- then I'd have twice as many people to fall unhappily in love with... x___x Dunno about that. :wacko:

[rknapp]

*checks stomach* Nope, no fetus(s).

*Thinks really hard* Nope, quite gay*.

[Caipirinha]

Um yeah I know what you mean.

 

When I was in High School the gay population consisted of me and one of my friends who happened to be a lesbian. Fast forward to four years after we graduated and seriously like 40% of the female and 10% of the male population at our old school is suddenly fashionably gay or "experimentational."

 

And don't even get me started on pregnancies...

[Dalmatia]

Yeah I've noticed this too, its like the new trend But then the pregnant thing has always been like that in Wales!

[Drewbie]

Yes, think for some now it's a "cool" thing to be bi. Pregnancies, is also of which high school.

[Benji]

Um yeah I know what you mean.

 

When I was in High School the gay population consisted of me and one of my friends who happened to be a lesbian. Fast forward to four years after we graduated and seriously like 40% of the female and 10% of the male population at our old school is suddenly fashionably gay or "experimentational."

 

And don't even get me started on pregnancies...

 

 

.............That was true here in Vegas, a while back it seemed to be "fashionable" to be Bi or gay?? What's with that??

[FrenchCanadian]

.............That was true here in Vegas, a while back it seemed to be "fashionable" to be Bi or gay?? What's with that??

 

oh no, it's true,, being bi is certainly highly fashionable,,, I dunno why tho,, it's like it's the best of the both world.

[Drewbie]

oh no, it's true,, being bi is certainly highly fashionable,,, I dunno why tho,, it's like it's the best of the both world.

 

 

I agree, put that above as well, it used to be more looked down upon.

 

to be a quick edit, best of both worlds

Edited April 20, 2008 by Drewbie

[AFriendlyFace]

I know I'm late to the party, but here I am!

It seems like everyone around me is either becoming pregnant or Bisexual.

I think a big part of this is your age and the time in which you live.

 

Very fortunately alternative sexualities are starting to become more acceptable in society. I genuinely believe that the majority of people are not exclusively gay or straight in their attractions, even if they have a very strong leaning. Thus, to me the increase in 'bisexuality' is simply a result of it being more acceptable to classify yourself as such.

 

Another big factor is that I think at your age (and even at mine for that matter) quite a few people who will eventually 'decide' haven't done so yet, so by default they claim bisexuality.

 

Personally speaking I've had quite a ride in terms of how I classify my sexuality (but never much in terms of comfort with it). At the beginning of puberty I thought myself 'straight', toward the middle I thought I was bi, toward the end and until recently I've thought I was gay.

 

I've never really thought I was completely one way or the other, I've just at different points decided to classify myself as such.

 

Lately, to be honest, I've been dying to try out a relationship (or at least the physical aspects of a relationship ) with a girl. I'm positive that I have a preference for guys, but I'd really like to experiment with girls.

 

Obviously I may be biased, but I think a lot of people have similar feelings, even if they're not completely conscious feelings, or not something they're comfortable with.

 

To me the 'trend' toward bisexuality is very encouraging. It shows a greater openness and flexibility toward sexuality, but I don't think it truly threatens individuals who are completely one way or the other (and I do believe that a lot of people are one way or the other), so to me it can only be a good thing.

 

To quote the Garbage song, Androgyny:

 

"Take what you need to turn you on"

 

And

 

"Don't let a soulmate pass you by"

 

 

 

As for the pregnancy thing, well that I'm positive is a factor of associating with people in their late teens and twenties

 

Wait 60 years and see if all your friends are still getting pregnant

 

 

Just my thoughts,

Kevin

Edited April 29, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Andy2008]

Frankly , i don't like Bi at all ...I still don't know how guys can be turn on by men and woman - either way , i seem so unfiathful to me ...

2 years ago , i had a boyfriend we was stick together over 1 year . Oneday a friend of him told me he had a girlfriend , i was shock ... after that i found out he had a girlfriend and then he come out to me he was bi , so i break up with him right away ...Just thought the way how he made love made me felf so disgusting ...sorry !!!

 

"Take what you need to turn you on"

 

so guys still don't known what you need to turn you on ?

 

somebody want to experiment everythings , if you was str8 you want to made out with a guy to know was a feeling is..? And you was Gay , you still want experiment a girls to know what vegina is ...so do you wanna threesome with them to complete your sex life ? sorry , i can't stand that ...at least , i lucky not that kind of person ...

 

Finally , i can't stand the person who don't known who they are too ..that so weire to me ...

That just my opion ....

Thanks

Edited April 29, 2008 by andyxxx2006

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi Andy

 

Frankly , i don't like Bi at all ...I still don't know how guys can be turn on by men and woman - either way , i seem so unfiathful to me ... so i break up with him right away ...

2 years ago , i had a boyfriend we was stick together over 1 year . Oneday a friend of him told me he had a girlfriend , i was shock ... after that i found out he had a girlfriend and then he come out to me he was bi

Well I'm very very sorry he was cheating on you and being dishonest about his sexuality. Neither of those two things are at all acceptable in my opinion.

 

To me though that doesn't directly involve bisexuality. Anyone can cheat and lie. Would it have been worse if you had found out he had another boyfriend he was secretly seeing? This topic is actually very similar to a few threads I created a some months back:

 

If your S.O Cheated...

 

Bisexuality: Thoughts and Opinions

 

And

 

Do people who aren't 100% gay or straight have it tougher.

 

 

Personally, I'm very much opposed to people using bisexuality as an excuse to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend simultaneously. Well, actually I personally don't care at all as long as all three people involved are aware of the situation and okay with it, but again I would be fine with that for straight or gay people as well. It's the cheating and dishonesty that's a problem, not the bisexuality as far as I'm concerned.

 

You had no idea that he was doing that, and presumably you had the explicit or implicit understanding that your relationship would be completely monogamous. As such his behaviour was in no way acceptable and his bisexuality is certainly no excuse. I think you made the right decision to end it with him.

 

If I did ever have a girlfriend, or a girl I 'experimented with', it would not be while I had a boyfriend and I would also be upfront with her that I was predominately gay and more than likely not looking for a permanent relationship with a female. I would be open to a permanent relationship with her if it happened, but I would certainly not then mess around with other guys (or girls).

 

so i break up with him right away ...Just thought the way how he made love made me felf so disgusting ...sorry !!!

Well, personally as I said I would have felt exactly the same way if I found out he was messing around with another guy. The genders and sexualities involved would be irrelevant to me, it would be the betrayal and cheating that would be the main point.

"Take what you need to turn you on"

 

so guys still don't known what you need to turn you on ?

 

somebody want to experiment everythings , if you was str8 you want to made out with a guy to know was a feeling is..? And you was Gay , you still want experiment a girls to know what vegina is ...so do you wanna threesome with them to complete your sex life ?

I don't see anything objectionable with a straight guy making out with another guy if he's curious, not dating another person (male or female), and the guy he's making out with is similarly available and interested in the activity. I would also be fine with a gay person experimenting with a girl (again as long as they're both cool with what's going on and not seeing anyone), and with people of either gender or any sexuality having a threesome composed of any set of genders and orientations again as long as they're all willing participants and not violating the terms of any relationships.

 

I wouldn't be out having threesomes and experimenting if I had a boyfriend (or girlfriend for that matter), and there's a good chance I won't do those things anyway, but if I am single (and I am) then I think it's my business.

Finally , i can't stand the person who don't known who they are too ..that so weire to me ...

Personally, I'm inclined to think that the person who has examined (and perhaps experimented in) these things often knows themselves better than the person who instead shoves themselves in a little box and refuses to peek outside the lid.

 

I'm a firm believer in never taking things for granted when it comes to gender, social roles, and sex/sexuality. The more information you have and the more you've examined your options the better off you are in most cases. Finding the occasional girl attractive does not threaten my sexuality as a gay male, it doesn't change my likes and dislike nor my interests nor my personality.

 

The older I've gotten and the more things I've contemplated, seen, and experienced first-hand, the more I've come to the inescapable conclusion that gender and sexuality are largely irrelevant. I refuse to live a certain way because I'm a boy or because I'm a gay boy. I'm immensely satisfied as both a male and a homosexual, both lifestyles and the majority of things that go along with them are very suitable to me. I sure as hell have no desire to be a woman or to be straight, but I shall always do exactly as I please and freely blur the lines between gender and orientation as I see fit.

 

-Kevin

Edited April 29, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[greenmann]

What he said *points to the above post*

 

In particular, I would like to highlight two things;

 

"I'm very much opposed to people using bisexuality as an excuse to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend simultaneously. Well, actually I personally don't care at all as long as all three people involved are aware of the situation and okay with it, but again I would be fine with that for straight or gay people as well. It's the cheating and dishonesty that's a problem, not the bisexuality"

 

Yes, exactly. In my opinion, whether you are grossed out by bisexuality or not, the main problem was not his sexualtiy, it was his lack of honesty, both about that and about seeing two people at once without those two knowing about the other. If he is willing to lie about that, what else is he willing to lie about? Its never a good sign.

 

"The older I've gotten and the more things I've contemplated, seen, and experienced first-hand, the more I've come to the inescapable conclusion that gender and sexuality are largely irrelevant. I refuse to live a certain way because I'm a boy or because I'm a gay boy. I'm immensely satisfied as both a male and a homosexual, both lifestyles and the majority of things that go along with them are very suitable to me. I sure as hell have no desire to be a woman or to be straight, but I shall always do exactly as I please and freely blur the lines between gender and orientation as I see fit.

 

-Kevin"

 

This is about as clear and cogent an answer as I could come up with! I'm attracted to whom I am attracted to. The person is more important than their gender or anything else. It just so happens that I tend to be attracted to men, but if a woman came along who did it for me, I would hope I would be open enough and secure enough in my own self, that I would recognize that and deal with the attraction as is.

 

But neither of those things have much to do with the original topic... so I think to bring it back, I will just say that none of my friends are getting preggers that I know of, and no one recently has come out to me as gay or bi, so I'll just have to agree that it is probably an age thing, lol. Or maybe its just that I tend to be too much of a hermit, and people don't tend to confide in me anyway

[Andy2008]

First of all , thanks for this topic , very interesting me ....

 

I don't like bi not just because my boyfriend was cheat on me , just because before and after that i had no feeling for Bi person ... But i didn't mean anything, i still had Bi friend and respect them by the way they are ....They just like us , i just hosnet said i just don't want my boyfriend was bi ...

Sure , everybody can cheat , neither you was str8 or gay .... But , if he cheat on me with another guys , so i was accepted , no problem with that thought , we will finger out .or at least i will never feel angry so much at that time i found out he was cheat on me with a girl ( i still remmeber ) ...like i said before , it disgusting . Bisexual , please !!!

 

 

 

i don't see anything objectionable with a straight guy making out with another guy if he's curious ... I would also be fine with a gay person experimenting with a girl and with people of either gender or any sexuality having a threesome

 

Lucky , Kevin , i can't do that i don't known what happen if i found my soulmate had a threesome before ...

 

Finally , i think we don't need to experimented everything to known what we gonna need and want , we had feeling ... When i was puberty , i already known i was gay , because i had a feeling for men , atractive with them ....Actually , i really don't belived what i feeling , i try to find seduction with a girls but it turn me off all the way ...

 

Somebody think Bisexual wad unquie . just because you feel less restrective or feel free between two gender ...Or frankly just said you can made love with both gender if that what made you feel best or something . so , just on question , if you easy torn between male and female how can you find compatiblity , trusty , passion and what the point of your love when you had no point in your sexuality ?

Edited April 30, 2008 by andyxxx2006

[Krista]

In High Schools now girls are more openly saying they're bi or attracted slightly to other girls, way more so than guys. I suspect it's for attention more so than actual feelings, which I think is a growing trend in young women. They want to impress as many guys as possible as it's not a competition and game to them, really doesn't allow for serious healthy relationships though. Also, pregnancies have always been a problem around here. Girls as young as 14 have had confirmed pregnancies here as well.

 

As for Bisexuality in males, I think it's more authentic, most will probably come out as gay later in life when they're more comfortable, but right now Bi is seen as more accepted and people tend to be more open-minded with the "chance their son or daughter will live heterosexual." So I would think some girls will say they're bisexual to impress guys, and guys will say bisexual because either they are bi, or they're not comfortable enough to come completely out of the closet and in society straight people around here accept bisexuality better.

[AFriendlyFace]

First of all , thanks for this topic , very interesting me ....

I agree; it's a subject which never fails to hold my attention

 

Sure , everybody can cheat , neither you was str8 or gay .... But , if he cheat on me with another guys , so i was accepted , no problem with that thought , we will finger out .or at least i will never feel angry so much at that time i found out he was cheat on me with a girl ( i still remmeber ) ...like i said before , it disgusting . Bisexual , please !!!

So you're saying that what makes it worse is a heightened sense of rejection?

 

I guess I can see your point, on the other hand I'd be just as likely to say it should be less of a rejection because a girl would be so different. It's hard to explain what I mean...I guess a bad analogy is like if I drink Chardonnay every day and then suddenly switch to sauvignon blanc then it's sorta like I got tired of the Chardonnay and opted for a similar but different beverage. If on the other hand I drank a margarita instead....well that's completely different and it has nothing to do with the Chardonnay; I just wanted a completely different style of drink.

 

But actually I don't agree with that at all, it's just the opposing argument that might readily come to mind. Instead, as I said I would make no distinction. A cheater is a cheater and I'm done with him either way.

 

Also, I think when it comes to cheating it very very rarely has much of anything to do with the person being cheated on and is instead much more likely says something about the person doing the cheating.

 

i don't see anything objectionable with a straight guy making out with another guy if he's curious ... I would also be fine with a gay person experimenting with a girl and with people of either gender or any sexuality having a threesome

 

Lucky , Kevin , i can't do that i don't known what happen if i found my soulmate had a threesome before ...

Hmm, I guess this comes down to different expectations for our significant others. Unless the threesome or other rounds of casual sex had left my partner with some sort of disease, or extreme emotional baggage, then yes, as I said, I really wouldn't particularly care what his sex life had been like before we started seeing each other. It's only his present and future that would concern me in this regard.

 

Somebody think Bisexual wad unquie . just because you feel less restrective or feel free between two gender ...Or frankly just said you can made love with both gender if that what made you feel best or something . so , just on question , if you easy torn between male and female how can you find compatiblity , trusty , passion and what the point of your love when you had no point in your sexuality ?

To answer the first part, I honestly don't see how one's sexuality has anything to do with compatibility, trust, and passion, that is as long as the person was with someone whom they were attracted to in the present. Ex's are always going to be complicated and carry baggage, and depending on the circumstance they may very well always be a slight source of tension, insecurity, and jealousy. Yes, I can see how it could be very disconcerting to know that your partner had previously been deeply in love with someone else. Had previously considered building their life with this person and trusted them completely. Yes, I can see how that could be very threatening, but I honestly wouldn't find it any more or less threatening depending on the gender of their ex. The fact that such a relationship had existed at all, maybe; but the gender, nah.

 

Anyway, it all comes down to trusting your partner and your relationship. It's important to feel secure in the knowledge that the past is in the past and your partner has no desire or intention to relieve the past. Also, for the record, it would be these types of serious relationships that I would find more threatening in my partner's past than any casual encounter, fling, or short-term relationship. I would expect to talk to my partner about these feelings and get over them, and I also think that on the other hand the fact that my partner has a history of long-term, stable relationships is a very good thing, but I would want to discuss them. With the purely sexual stuff in his past...well I'd just be curious, but I can't imagine particularly caring or being worried (again assuming he had been sexually responsible).

 

I'd also be very interested if my partner had a history of cheating. I know that's a tad unfair and that I should trust him and let us start with a blank slate, but I would find cheating in his past to be very troubling and it would damage my trust a bit (although it would be worse if he weren't honest with me to begin with, or worse had even mislead me in this regard). Again though, 'non-cheating' encounters wouldn't bother me.

 

As for the second part of your question:

and what the point of your love when you had no point in your sexuality ?

I would first say that being bisexual, or not identifying at all, does not indicate that your sexuality has no point. To get into this we would need to discuss what the 'point' of one's sexuality is in the first place, and that could get quite long, but suffice it to say that the fundamental parts of someone's sexuality that I would consider to be the 'point', would not be affected by the gender(s) that they loved and to whom they were attracted.

 

However, even disregarding that and assuming that there was 'no point' to someone's sexuality (which as I said I certainly wouldn't argue on the basis of orientation), I still fail to see how that then invalidates the love they would now share in their current relationship. Love isn't about sex; sex is just...incidental, at least when it comes to the broader concept of love.

 

Anyway, just my thoughts, and I'm very much enjoying this chat

 

 

Take care and have a great day,

Kevin

[Andy2008]

i not rejected or displeaseant about Bi person or something like that ....I just never ...ever get a boyfriend was Bi ....I'm sure not only me and the whole gay world when they had a boyfriend was Bi , they all felt insecure , loss of balance ...

 

I just said threesome was nasty ...may be i'm too conservative but that what i thought , it really nasty , and it relate to Bisexual too ...If i find out about my boyfriend had threesome before , sorry even if you was my soulmate or sigfinicant or bal abla bal bla bla ....i can't continute that relatationship anyway , nasty , and nothings to make sure it never happen again... And i can image what kind of that person they are ...? So would do you like to continute this love if you find out that ...Are you sure he never cheat on you or something like that ...agian ...you felt insecure with that person ( because he was Bi ) .... And do you want in love with somebody you alway worry about , you want to hold your boyfrien from his glare with another girls and boys ...would you want to enter that relatesonship ? Like you climb on the mountain without a rope , enetr to a maze althought you known you can't find the way out ....

 

I honestly don't see how one's sexuality has anything to do with compatibility, trust, and passion, that is as long as the person was with someone whom they were attracted to in the present

 

How do you know that ? Bisexual changed their mind easily ...If they in love with you , they here for you in present

, and if these guys had some problem they jump to another girls , i repeat again Girls . And they love them with all his heart like he did to you in pass ...You know the circle ...and you know what i mean right ? They can love either way ...nothing to do with them , who gonna be hurt ? You

 

No deal with cheating , i know everybody had a pass , if my boyfriend had a history with cheating ( with another guys ) , i repeat agian Guys i willing forgive for him and start with a blank stance like you said ...

 

No point here i mean they don't know what a gender they love , you was gay , you love guys , you sr8 you love girls , so , you Bi you love ...?

Edited May 2, 2008 by andyxxx2006

[Dion]

No point here i mean they don't know what a gender they love , you was gay , you love guys , you sr8 you love girls , so , you Bi you love ...?

Whomever strikes your fancy...

[AFriendlyFace]

I just said threesome was nasty ...may be i'm too conservative but that what i thought , it really nasty , and it relate to Bisexual too ...If i find out about my boyfriend had threesome before , sorry even if you was my soulmate or sigfinicant or bal abla bal bla bla ....i can't continute that relatationship anyway , nasty , and nothings to make sure it never happen again... And i can image what kind of that person they are ...? So would do you like to continute this love if you find out that

Well if you think threesomes are nasty that's certainly your opinion and I'm sure you're not at all in the minority with that opinion. I can also understand if you just straight up don't want to be with someone who's done that. That's certainly your prerogative as well. What I would dispute though is that the person's activities as a single person are going to affect the way he conducts his relationship as a coupled person.

 

Before I became a vegetarian I had tried most variety of meats. A couple of years ago I made the decision (and commitment) to become a vegetarian. The fact that I've had steak before doesn't mean that I'll suddenly run out and order a T-bone now. At the time when I ate steak I had no commitment to vegetarianism, as such with the hypothetical bisexual and/or threesome guy, at the time when he dated/fooled around with a woman (or had the threesome) he wasn't in a relationship. No such commitment had been made. It's not as though he tried and failed to keep his commitment. So no, I don't think my boyfriend's past with a woman, or with threesomes, would make me feel insecure about my relationship. People act very differently when they're in a relationship versus single, and I'm not just talking about sex I'm talking about their whole lifestyle. No longer messing around with girls, or having threesomes would just be one among a long list of changes and adjustments I would expect my boyfriend to make when we got together.

 

...Are you sure he never cheat on you or something like that ...agian ...you felt insecure with that person ( because he was Bi ) .... And do you want in love with somebody you alway worry about , you want to hold your boyfrien from his glare with another girls and boys ...would you want to enter that relatesonship ? Like you climb on the mountain without a rope , enetr to a maze althought you known you can't find the way out ....

If he had cheated on me (or even cheated in the past with someone else) then of course I would be worried!

 

As for simply being concerned about his attractions, no him being bi would not be extra cause for worry. How is it any different for your boyfriend to be sexually interested in a girl versus a different guy? Either way it comes down to trusting him not to act on his attraction. The only argument that would really concern me is the whole "twice as many people to worry about" thing, but first of all I think that math is a little fuzzy and unpredictable. It's possible that he would have twice as many people he's attracted to, but it all depends on what he's attracted to and how many people attract him in the first place.

 

For example for most of the day I was in the company of 6 random guys whom I'm not well-acquainted with (I don't even know their names). I was really attracted to one of them. I thought one other was somewhat good-looking, but I wasn't interested. The other four I was actively disinterested in. That means that of the 6 guys there was only 1 I had any sexual interest in. Just because I'm 'gay' doesn't mean I'm attracted to all, or even most, guys. I'm fairly picky when it comes to sexual attraction.

 

I also have a very very specific type of woman that I'm somewhat attracted to sometimes. However, this demographic of females is pretty low. Thus despite all that, and despite being what I would refer to as a 'sexual person', I'm still NOT attracted to very many people in the general population. The fact that a few women also attract me isn't that significant. Chances are a less-discerning 'exclusively' gay person (and there are a lot of those) would have an overall higher number of people he's attracted to.

 

In any case attraction is irrelevant (at least to me), it would only matter if my partner acted on the attraction. I'm not going to think that because he's with me he'll magically cease to be attracted to other people. I do expect that because he's with me he won't act on the attractions. Who he's attracted to, or if he crosses that line who he cheats with, don't matter because either way my feelings and reactions are more or less going to be the same.

 

I guess what it comes down to is that I don't really make a big distinction between men and women, and where I am aware that I make a distinction I try very hard to stop doing that. I can't stand gender roles or stereotypes of any type, and while one gender may have a more frequent set of qualities it doesn't mean that all members of that gender have it, nor does it mean that various random individuals in the other gender will have those qualities to a greater degree. As such I'm more comfortable starting from square one with people and filling in their qualities, faults, and virtues as we go. The last thing I want to do is look at a person and think "oh a man, that means he's A, B, and C." or "Oh a woman, so then she's D, E, and F." When I catch myself doing that I STOP! I do this same thing with race and religion. I feel very bad if I find myself having preconceived notions about how someone is going to behave, or what they're going to be able to do because they're a certain race or a certain religion.

 

Anyway, perhaps this in turn makes me less likely to care what gender, race, or religion my partner is attracted to, or if they did the deed, who they cheated with. It's just a person to me, and either they stopped at the appropriate point in time (mere attraction, or I might tolerate casual flirting) or they went too far (anything sexual, or acting with the intent to be sexual). I also don't really care at all what gender, race, or religion I end up with. I have a very strong 'type' and as such many (most in fact because as I said I'm very picky) people simply won't meet my criteria, but if a 'surprise' one happens to, then I'm certainly not going to be particularly concerned by it or rule it out. I also expect my physical attraction to be physical. I tend to connect romantically much more easily with males, but I assume that to be a result of the physical attraction, and while obviously no two people are alike, when you get right down to it I would assume that somewhere out there, there's a girl, or a person a different race, or religion, with pretty much all the same main qualities and features that I like in my partner. I would assume that the only reason I fell in love with him versus one of these other candidates had a lot to do with being physically attracted to him, and making an emotional connection at the right time. But I would never presume to think that X, Y, and Z qualities of the non-physical type are only available in one gender, race, or religion.

 

I honestly don't see how one's sexuality has anything to do with compatibility, trust, and passion, that is as long as the person was with someone whom they were attracted to in the present

 

How do you know that ? Bisexual changed their mind easily ...If they in love with you , they here for you in present

, and if these guys had some problem they jump to another girls , i repeat again Girls . And they love them with all his heart like he did to you in pass ...You know the circle ...and you know what i mean right ? They can love either way ...nothing to do with them , who gonna be hurt ? You

And a strictly gay boyfriend could just as easily fall in love with another guy, or bail out on your relationship and find another guy when the going got tough.

 

What I don't want is someone who has the capacity to be attracted to men and women, but is 'messed up' about sexuality and thinks that it would be better for them to date females if possible. Or if they have the capacity for both, but they're just with me as some sort of purely counter-culture statement or something. These would be the types of people I would worry would be fickle and swap genders as their mood and situation dictated.

 

But someone with the capacity to be attracted to both genders who genuinely couldn't careless which gender he ended up with and instead just pursued people as his feelings, attractions, and desires moved him, well him I wouldn't hesitate to be with.

 

In the end I really don't think the conditions of a man dating a man, or a man dating a woman (or a woman dating a man, or a woman dating a woman) are any better or worse than each other. There should be no value judgment attached, it should just be whatever comes natural to that person. There's no way in hell I would rather be straight; I love being gay, and my life would be so fundamentally different if I weren't gay that I'd hate to even try to imagine it. I'm thoroughly pleased with and enjoying things just as they are. However as much as I enjoy being gay, and as much as I wouldn't change it, I certainly don't think it's better to be gay than straight (nor is it better to be straight than gay let me add vehemently!). It's just different. Different isn't better, it's just different. As long as people recognize that and are comfortable with their own and other people's way's of perceiving the world than I really don't care who dates whom or who's got which bit of anatomy. Whatever works.

 

-Kevin

Edited May 2, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Dion]

I read through Kevin's response and - although it may seem redundant - I'd like to add a few thoughts of my own.

 

There seems to be a preconception that people who are bi are fickle. It's not just within this discussion but everywhere. I have to say that that is just as hurtful and erroneous as saying 'all gays are promiscuous' or words to that effect. I would no more assume one than I would the other. The simple fact of the matter is that all people have the capacity to be fickle or promiscuous - or dedicated to their relationship, whether it be straight or gay.

 

I have known many different types of people in my lifetime and the tendency to switch partners or to hop into bed with whomever is willing never seems to be specific to sexuality. It depends on the person themselves... exclusively.

 

I also understand that living the 'straight life' for a bi person seems easier than being involved in a same-sex relationship - but to most bisexuals, it really doesn't matter. If you're in love with the person you're seeing, the easy part is the loving. Everything else is secondary.

 

Some may believe that a person like me would crumble under the pressure of having a lover of the same sex and opt instead for the 'normal life' - I can appreciate where that opinion comes from. It's probably easier for someone like me to switch sides when the going gets rough, but (and I cannot speak for anyone else, only myself) in some ways I think being bi is a little tougher than being gay or straight. Very rarely does anyone take your attentions seriously. A lot of the time they assume you're just trying to shock them, if you say you're interested in someone of the same gender. This is especially reinforced if, at some time in the past or future, you wind up being attracted to someone of the opposite gender. Being regarded as something of a joke is really difficult to come to terms with.

 

I suppose, in retrospect, this may be where the misconception about bisexuals comes from. Being seen as unable to make up your mind as to which you prefer. It's really not about the gender, but about the person inside. I guess it's probably more accurate to say 'bisexuals are a little physically blind'.