[Hamen Cheese] Adamagika: The Spirit Within

[Hamen Cheese]

Hi,

 

I'm looking for an editor or editors that are interested in proofreading this story. As much as I prefer not releasing stories ahead for anyone, it seems it might be necessary. I reviewed some past chapters and despite repeated checks, I seem to miss errors still.

 

If you're interested in editing for this story, then there is one thing I'd like to request though - that is that the past chapters be edited first before future chapters. What I mean is editing everything from the beginning (Prologue to Ch 23). Once that is done, I'll start sending unreleased chapters to you a few days before the designated release date.

 

Sounds like a lot? It is, actually. So, I don't expect many to be interested. BUT, if you still are interested, I'll send a word copy of all released chapters to you. Then just turn on Track Changes then send it back. I'll review the changes and make the appropriate corrections to the text. More details can be discussed later on.

 

If you are indeed interested, I'm hoping it wouldn't be a half-hearted effort. I mean reading three random paragraphs per chapter does not count as proofreading.

 

If all else fails, then everyone would just have to deal with my typical proofreading abilities hehehe. I might just wait for everything to be released and go back to reading it from the start and edit from there. I'm hoping to polish the errors out of this story before working on any sequel.

 

The whole story by the way is forty chapters long with a prologue and epilogue. Unless I'm mistaken, the last chapter of A:TSW will be released in January.

 

Best regards,

 

Hamen Cheese

[Hamen Cheese]

Due to last minute changes, the next chapter of Adamagika will not be released tonight.

 

The next chapter will be posted within the week.

[Hamen Cheese]

Contained within the spoiler is the index of chapters (released and unreleased). Hope it gives you an idea of how much more is left in this installment of Adamagika.

 

Thanks to everyone who's stuck with it for as long as I have. I know it's not easy to pick up a story again which took a long break between chapter releases but I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

 

 

 

Table of Contents

 

PROLOGUE

 

CHAPTER 1: Adam's Rescue

 

CHAPTER 2: The Warning

 

CHAPTER 3: Return to the Village

 

CHAPTER 4: Magic Unleashed

 

CHAPTER 5: Jacob's Story

 

CHAPTER 6: All Things Lost

 

CHAPTER 7: Reservations

 

CHAPTER 8: Arantiva

 

CHAPTER 9: Students of Arantiva

 

CHAPTER 10: The Ice Queen's Taverna

 

CHAPTER 11: The Mage Council

 

CHAPTER 12: Different

 

CHAPTER 13: Secrets

 

CHAPTER 14: Gifts

 

CHAPTER 15: Javier Bienvenido

 

CHAPTER 16: The Seer's Prophecy

 

CHAPTER 17: A Promise to Keep

 

CHAPTER 18: Lord of the Dead

 

CHAPTER 19: Aenhol's Tale

 

CHAPTER 20: New Recruits

 

CHAPTER 21: Lady Helena

 

CHAPTER 22: The Struthius Squad

 

CHAPTER 23: Combat Magic 101

 

CHAPTER 24: Saphiron

 

CHAPTER 25: I Am Ho-o

 

CHAPTER 26: Lucas Barstow

 

CHAPTER 27: The Challenge

 

CHAPTER 28: The Crystal Prison

 

CHAPTER 29: A Deal with Death

 

CHAPTER 30: A New Task

 

CHAPTER 31: A Gryphon Takes Flight

 

CHAPTER 32: Odd Ways of Communicating

 

CHAPTER 33: Taking It to the Skies

 

CHAPTER 34: The Northern Army

 

CHAPTER 35: The Fall

 

CHAPTER 36: Betrayed

 

CHAPTER 37: City Under Siege

 

CHAPTER 38: Deception

 

CHAPTER 39: A Prophecy Fulfilled

 

CHAPTER 40:

 

EPILOGUE

 

 

 

[Guest Witwicky]

Contained within the spoiler is the index of chapters (released and unreleased). Hope it gives you an idea of how much more is left in this installment of Adamagika.

 

Thanks to everyone who's stuck with it for as long as I have. I know it's not easy to pick up a story again which took a long break between chapter releases but I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

 

 

 

 

Holy guacamoley! The Crystal Prison and The Northern Army sounds interesting! And nice choice of titles for the last four chapters, sounds going to be really epic! The end approaches, I can't freaking believe it! It seems just like yesterday that I started reading this, and now..

[Hamen Cheese]

I've transferred this story to GA.Stories and will be posting chapter by chapter in the hopes of getting the rep up. I don't know yet how the new system works as I've been away for quite awhile but hopefully, I can catch up.

 

On a side note, Charlie will also be pending as I have not had the time to finish that story. Some day I might go back to it. Until then, I at least intend to finish this story.

[Hamen Cheese]

I've released a new chapter which is currently under the Stories Awaiting Approval Section.

 

Ch 27: The Challenge

[Hamen Cheese]

A little late but I forgot to post anywhere that I updated Adamagika with the next chapter.

 

Hope you enjoy.

 

Ch 28: The Crystal Prison

[Hamen Cheese]

The next chapter is up.

 

Hope you all enjoy.

 

Ch 29: A Deal with Death

[Andrew Q Gordon]

HC,

 

Chapter 27 has a tiny problem, when the three are in CIBO's you keep referring to Lukas as both Lukas and Javier - it is right after Lukas comes back from looking for his Dad.

 

Andy

[Hamen Cheese]

Hey Andy,

 

Thanks for pointing that out. Sometimes I get these names mixed up hehe.

[Hamen Cheese]

Apologies as Chapter 29 was written much earlier than the later chapters, I overlooked one critical formatting that I did not notice until I read a review.

 

Kindly note that in the end of Chapter 29:

 

Somewhere around me I could hear other voices. One came in clearly as though the speaker was right above me. It was loud and angry. “What have you done? Release him at once!”

 

“I did not do this,” another voice echoed angrily.

Should in fact be:

 

Somewhere around me I could hear other voices. One came in clearly as though the speaker was right above me. It was loud and angry. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? RELEASE HIM AT ONCE!

 

I did not do this, another voice answered, almost fearfully.

This changes the meaning quite substantially.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Apologies as Chapter 29 was written much earlier than the later chapters, I overlooked one critical formatting that I did not notice until I read a review.

 

Kindly note that in the end of Chapter 29:

 

 

 

Should in fact be:

 

 

 

This changes the meaning quite substantially.

 

 

Yes that changes things a bit, but it also raised more questions - UGH!! When is chapter 30 due?????

[Hamen Cheese]

Yes that changes things a bit, but it also raised more questions - UGH!! When is chapter 30 due?????

 

Yesterday, actually. However, I had in the flurry of work forgotten to post it in time.

 

The next chapter is now up.

 

Ch 30: A New Task

[Hamen Cheese]

The next chapter is out!

 

Ch 31: A Gryphon Takes Flight

[Hamen Cheese]

The next chapter is out! The last few chapters have been a little more serious than usual so we're going to sit back and relax for a bit in this one.

 

Ch 32: Odd Ways of Communicating

 

Enjoy!

[Hamen Cheese]

Apologies but it has happened again. I had mistakenly thought that I wrote a certain part in an earlier chapter when in fact I wrote it at a later chapter.

 

The details are minor and in truth, it will not make or break the story. It's just a matter of consistency.

 

In Chapter 32, you will find these paragraphs:

 

When I could not hear any sound coming from outside, I resumed my getting dressed. I placed my robes over the maroon shirt I now always wore within for training. We often didn’t wear the robe itself while practicing (except for Brian and a select few who had it on all the time) but often it gave me a sense of confidence or security that I otherwise wouldn’t have had if I didn’t bring it along.

 

I looked at the mace I had stashed the night before. It was just lying there and tentatively I reached out for it. I honestly didn’t want to bring it with me. It could have been the warning or it could have been some inert sense within me but I knew something was wrong with that mace. Nonetheless, I took it from its shelf and placed it next to my belt. Metal wires stretched out as it always did to form a holster just fit for the mace. I needed to bring it even if it felt wrong. I needed to ask Brian about it anyway and he would have grown suspicious if I didn’t bring it along. Somehow, I didn’t think he would have been sympathetic with the reasons I had to not use the mace.

It should be:

 

When I could not hear any sound coming from outside, I resumed my getting dressed. I looked at the mace I had stashed the night before. It was just lying there and tentatively, I reached out for it. I honestly didn’t want to bring it with me. It could have been the warning or it could have been some inert sense within me but I knew something was wrong with that mace. Nonetheless, I took it from its shelf and placed within my robes. I needed to bring it even if it felt wrong. I needed to ask Brian about it anyway and he would have grown suspicious if I didn’t bring it along. Somehow, I didn’t think he would have been sympathetic with the reasons I had to not use the mace.

The maroon robe/shirt and the holster should not have been mentioned until the next chapter.

[Hamen Cheese]

The next chapter is out. It is particularly long so I really hope I managed to get the errors out. I normally would have split it into two or three chapters so it would become more manageable to edit and read. However, I wanted to keep to the schedule so I hope you won't mind reading something quite long.

 

Ch 33: Taking It to the Skies

[Hamen Cheese]

Another long chapter, one I had split into three parts. It seems that no matter how many times I read it for editing, I always find something to correct or to change. If I don't post this now, it will never get posted!

 

So here it is and here I am, hoping for the best.

 

Enjoy!

 

Ch 34: The Northern Army

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Read your response to my review and honestly - those weren't really spoilers. I can guess at what happened or is happening but I don't know. HOWEVER it did answer my question as to what's up with Ho-o, sorta, but sorta in a way that means, there is an answer, and it makes sense, but I am not quite sure what it is just yet. Thanks for the reply, thanks for writing this and I really hope their is another book after this one.

 

Andy

[Hamen Cheese]

Read your response to my review and honestly - those weren't really spoilers. I can guess at what happened or is happening but I don't know. HOWEVER it did answer my question as to what's up with Ho-o, sorta, but sorta in a way that means, there is an answer, and it makes sense, but I am not quite sure what it is just yet. Thanks for the reply, thanks for writing this and I really hope their is another book after this one.

 

Andy

 

I definitely want there to be a second book. By the time you finish reading the epilogue, you will notice quite a number of things that were mentioned or raised in A:TSW that will be left unresolved in the remaining six chapters. It's not that I just felt like mentioning these tiny, sometimes seemingly irrelevant details but rather I'd like to set a backdrop to what's coming. The only way it would get included is if I decide to increase the number of chapters in this story by about twenty more. The problem with doing that is the direction of the second book is different from the first one, at least I'd like to think so anyway.

 

I already know how I want to end the second book and the way it is currently playing out in my mind, it would require a third book where the direction again shifts (unless of course I decide to change the last part and just end it there - that will, however, leave quite a few things hanging). Regardless, I think that all issues pertaining to Adam's story will be closed by the end of a third book. But then again, I haven't even started writing the second book so this is all speculation at this point.

 

I currently have two non-related projects after A:TSW, one is already being written and is about one-fourth done. The second one has been brewing for awhile also but the plot is still quite undeveloped. Only time will tell if any of these stories will come to fruition.

 

That and how much work I have to do to make money!

[Hamen Cheese]

The end comes.

 

Ch 35: The Fall

 

Ch 36: Betrayed

 

Ch 37: City Under Siege

 

Ch 38: Deception

 

Ch 39: A Prophecy Fulfilled

 

Ch 40:

 

EPILOGUE

[Andrew Q Gordon]

The end comes.

 

Ch 35: The Fall

 

Ch 36: Betrayed

 

Ch 37: City Under Siege

 

Ch 38: Deception

 

Ch 39: A Prophecy Fulfilled

 

Ch 40:

 

EPILOGUE

 

SIX WEEKS?!?!?!

 

that means April 11 - UGHHHHHHH

 

I hate chapter to chapter posting as a reader LOL

 

 

Now I know why everyone is so mad at me.

[Hamen Cheese]

SIX WEEKS?!?!?!

 

that means April 11 - UGHHHHHHH

 

I hate chapter to chapter posting as a reader LOL

 

 

Now I know why everyone is so mad at me.

 

I know right haha. That's why when I ask for recommended stories, I specifically ask for completed ones.

[Hamen Cheese]

Who is the traitor in their midst?

 

Ch 36: Betrayed

 

Ch 37: City Under Siege

 

Ch 38: Deception

 

Ch 39: A Prophecy Fulfilled

 

Ch 40:

 

EPILOGUE

[Andrew Q Gordon]

HC,

 

Sorry about the truncated review, I went to insert an emoticon and I hit post by accident. Since there is no edit feature, I was stuck with it as it was. As much as I am not a fan of the chapter by chapter reading, it is how I have been posting as well so who am I to bitch about it. So of course I won't stop - it's too much fun to tease you in reviews which requires I read them

 

BUT speaking of being pissed, this is me at you -- OMG if I coulda bitch slapped you when I was reading that I would have - you are the biggest F'in tease.

 

So Brain is NOT dead. I don't know if I am happy about it [okay I am ] or annoyed because you let us think he died like that. I have to say that was one of the better examples of 'killing' a character but not really, so I am still really pissed. Adam really needs to tell Brain about his link with Jacob. Won't stop Brain from feeling as he does, but it might help him understand things.

 

 

And of course Jacob is a mess and if he doesn't wise up or shape up, he is going to cost Adam his life. Adam can't concentrate fully if Jacob is constantly f'in with his emotions. Now, since I do not expect you to answer what's up with Jacob, i.e. what happened with Victor - can you at least answer if we the readers will get an explanation?? That's not giving anything away is it? I mean even if one [both actually] died, you could still explain it. Right??

 

One last comment, your editing has really improved tremendously. I mean that as a compliment, so if that is why it is taking a week per chapter, then it is well worth it. Not that I minded, [i'm still reading and pumping your work right?] but I know how it feels when you post a mistake filled chapter as opposed to how it feels when you post a relatively error free one.

 

Andy