Proposing

[TetRefine]

In straight relationships, the guy always proposes to the girl. Thats just how it goes. But what about in same-sex relationships? When they want to make the next step, who's job is it to propose? Is it the more manly of the two (in a gay relationship)? Is it something mutual that they just agree upon to get married? Is proposing just a straight people thing that isn't really pertinent to same-sex relationships? Do any gay people who are married/engaged have any stories to tell?

 

This is a really interesting sociological question that got me thinking.....

[Cia]

I don't think being the more 'manly' necessarily means most dominating or assertive in a relationship. That's your first flaw in your logic I see. I'll admit, Josh asked me but only because when he asked, "When are we going to get married," I said, "When you actually ask me". Technically I told him I'd marry him once he actually used the question form I may be the housewife but I control the money, I'm the more dominant parent (threatening to tell Daddy isn't scary but telling Mommy, oh yeah, not good). Josh picked out our first apartment, and our house and all the furniture whenever we had to buy any. Even straight relationships aren't always 'traditional'.

 

I had a gay friend I worked with once. He was in the medical field and very swish sometimes, manicures, jewelry, he even did drag comedy shows sometimes. His boyfriend/husband was tall, dark, wore a leather jacket like a glove, and worked with his hands. My friend was older than him though, by a good 10 years. My friend asked him boyfriend to marry him, not the 'manly' man asking the more 'fem' one. Age, personality, and the interdynamics between two people is much more important than one simple aspect that you lay out. Relationships are rarely so simple as that.

[Y_B]

In straight relationships, the guy always proposes to the girl. Thats just how it goes. But what about in same-sex relationships? When they want to make the next step, who's job is it to propose? Is it the more manly of the two (in a gay relationship)? Is it something mutual that they just agree upon to get married? Is proposing just a straight people thing that isn't really pertinent to same-sex relationships? Do any gay people who are married/engaged have any stories to tell?

 

This is a really interesting sociological question that got me thinking.....

 

Whoever wants to step up, I guess.

 

 

That's the beauty of gay relationships, you don't get fitted into a certain role....unless you make it that way.

 

"If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it."

[Tiger]

In straight relationships, the guy always usually proposes to the girl. Thats just how it goes. But what about in same-sex relationships? When they want to make the next step, who's job is it to propose? Is it the more manly of the two (in a gay relationship)? Is it something mutual that they just agree upon to get married? Is proposing just a straight people thing that isn't really pertinent to same-sex relationships? Do any gay people who are married/engaged have any stories to tell?

 

This is a really interesting sociological question that got me thinking.....

I think it's really a matter of who decides who decides to do it first. When you're dealing with a couple who does not have so-called gender rules, things are different. Then again, the reason for the strikeout is because women actually have been known to propose to men. It's becoming more common than you might think. Also, they drop not-so-subtle hints that they want to be proposed to. Sorry, just had to throw that in there.

 

Another consideration is who is more of the go-getter in the relationship. Some people are more apt to take initiative for a proposal than others regardless of gender. It's not to say that the two aren't equal, just that one may be more of a leader than the other. It's not something to worry about. When the time is right, someone will propose!

[Bumblebee]

In straight relationships, the guy always proposes to the girl. Thats just how it goes. But what about in same-sex relationships? When they want to make the next step, who's job is it to propose? Is it the more manly of the two (in a gay relationship)? Is it something mutual that they just agree upon to get married? Is proposing just a straight people thing that isn't really pertinent to same-sex relationships? Do any gay people who are married/engaged have any stories to tell?

 

This is a really interesting sociological question that got me thinking.....

 

 

One of my friends.... She proposed to her boyfriend

 

 

Its not the 50's... anyone can propose to their partner, not just the man or the butch or the manly-est

[AnytaSunday]

In straight relationships, the guy always proposes to the girl.

 

Not always.

 

IDK, I think it's something more and more discussed in relationships and decided upon together.

 

Also, they drop not-so-subtle hints that they want to be proposed to. Sorry, just had to throw that in there.

 

LOL--sure, sometimes that's the case too. BUT, also the guy can be the one dropping the hints. It works both ways. Mine is dropping hints at wanting to renew our vows at our tenth anniversary. He keeps pointing out wedding dresses and saying how good I'd look in it. Haha. He's not so subtle, actually.

 

Anyway, I don't think there needs to be any 'rules' around proposing.

[Cia]

Yeah, I knew beforehand. He took me and made me look at wedding rings the weekend before. Then he totally panicked when he was getting ready to ask me and avoided me all afternoon on the day he asked, screwing up his courage to say, "So when we getting married?" Ahh, younguns! To be fair he was only 22. It's not like I got all romantic. My 18 year old bitchy self slapped him with a comeback though, so all good, lol. Then I started planning our week long honeymoon on Maui. He wanted to go camping. Guess where we went?

 

Anyway, point is, all couples are all different nowadays. Young, old, straight, gay, butch, fem, manly... it's all about two people together when it comes to marriage and how they get to it. As others have said, if it's right you'll know. Don't let anyone else tell you something should be done a certain way based on a stereotype. Going for what makes you happy is important!

[comicfan]

I think it is one of those things where who ever feels the most comfortable does it. When the time comes someone just turns and asks. The joys of modern life.