"Who's A Sissy?"

[John Doe]

It's your word choices and structure. Plain and simple. Why even mention that fact that he was 21 and live in the Uk. By saying that you were what?..... giving yourself a qualification? So what if he's 21 and from the UK.... your mention of his age and place of origin has nothing to do with what your were saying. You were discussing something... something that had nothing to do with age and place. "Fortunately I do" as if you were the only one "fortunate" to experience such things. You could have just started out by saying... I have experience ... then explained your life experiences, it's relevance. What you experienced I would not considered to be fortunate. Again, tone. You did dismiss him: "If that is the case, you don't know what you are really talking about." You justififed this comment by remarking on his age and country and by doing so it makes it relevant somehow that what he has to say is useless. Your word choices and structure speaks and says things for you too.

 

I too have experienced similar thing as you have and I'm 25 and half your age. Four years older than the 21 year old man. A guy was beat into unconsciouness and stumbled into our school office bloodied as hell because the fact that he was gay. Authorities and school officials pressured the young guy to recant his "accusations" and I was forefront as a member on the school committee of student affairs. I talked to our VP of student affairs that I felt it was unfair how he was being pressured to do this. The pressure form the authority figures were so much the boy did recant his police report and transfered to a different school. The made a statement that he was a targeted because of his "personality." When I brought it up again in a later meeting, it was said the boy made his decision with his own mind. It was his choice. It was hardly his choice. Is safety afforded to us gay folks? It's not found everywhere yet. Kids are still depressed and commiting suicide time and time again because of their envioroment. Physical harm has gone down some, but the mental and psychological assaults are still there. I would agree, that your time and our times are different. But the burdens we carry are still the same. Just because one stepping stone has been over step does not mean the next is easier. Some of us still fight to survive every day. Others have found that content medium (live-able, but not necessarily comepletely happy) as others have in your time era.

 

By mentioning his age, it suggested that you thought he was too young to understand what happened to you. That you were "fortunate" to experience such things alluded that we younger folks (age) couldn't sympathize with you becuase we were unfortunate to experience such things. Some of us still live in fear. I was not grace with your bigger build and athletics. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It's not something I wish upon anyone. You were fortunate to come out better than some folks from then, but not fortunate to experience such things. To hide yourself and not be able to be relaxed and live comfortably... it's unfortunate. I know the feeling. I'm sure others do to and we still live with that fear. The same fear you have experienced. I am not an out gay man. I probably won't ever be. Because I have fears that I may never be able to over come. So I choose and is very self conscious of the clothing I buy, the words I say, and my mannerisms. When your cousin is beaten badly because she chose to date a white guy, my "punishment" could only be worst. So I too fear for my life. With experience from that boy who stumbled into our office and my cousin, not only do I fear for my life with strangers, but with my family too. There's a tone in what we say, in person and internet wise. And yes that person who made those comments were very insensitive. Though you were addressing that one person, there are other people on this forum. People who are 21 and from the UK (and elsewhere). I'm just trying to say that our word choices and structure of what we write gives what we type and say another tone. Whether its passive or unknowingly. I wasn't accusing you of not having willing ears and open heart... I was saying what you have written could cause that in others. I was accusing of what you have written as overly self-righteous. You do have experience for to be somewhat self righteous, but there's no need to be combative. You said you were correct, and yes your answers does read that way, but it also read (intones) that what you said and experienced can only be possibly experience by you and anyone else wouldn't be able to sympathize with. Starting out a discussion by being immediately defensive does not create an opening atmosphere to have a proper discussion.

[Pete Bruno]

It's your word choices and structure. Plain and simple. Why even mention that fact that he was 21 and live in the Uk. By saying that you were what?..... giving yourself a qualification? So what if he's 21 and from the UK.... your mention of his age and place of origin has nothing to do with what your were saying. You were discussing something... something that had nothing to do with age and place. "Fortunately I do" as if you were the only one "fortunate" to experience such things. You could have just started out by saying... I have experience ... then explained your life experiences, it's relevance. What you experienced I would not considered to be fortunate. Again, tone. You did dismiss him: "If that is the case, you don't know what you are really talking about." You justififed this comment by remarking on his age and country and by doing so it makes it relevant somehow that what he has to say is useless. Your word choices and structure speaks and says things for you too.

 

I too have experienced similar thing as you have and I'm 25 and half your age. Four years older than the 21 year old man. A guy was beat into unconsciouness and stumbled into our school office bloodied as hell because the fact that he was gay. Authorities and school officials pressured the young guy to recant his "accusations" and I was forefront as a member on the school committee of student affairs. I talked to our VP of student affairs that I felt it was unfair how he was being pressured to do this. The pressure form the authority figures were so much the boy did recant his police report and transfered to a different school. The made a statement that he was a targeted because of his "personality." When I brought it up again in a later meeting, it was said the boy made his decision with his own mind. It was his choice. It was hardly his choice. Is safety afforded to us gay folks? It's not found everywhere yet. Kids are still depressed and commiting suicide time and time again because of their envioroment. Physical harm has gone down some, but the mental and psychological assaults are still there. I would agree, that your time and our times are different. But the burdens we carry are still the same. Just because one stepping stone has been over step does not mean the next is easier. Some of us still fight to survive every day. Others have found that content medium (live-able, but not necessarily comepletely happy) as others have in your time era.

 

By mentioning his age, it suggested that you thought he was too young to understand what happened to you. That you were "fortunate" to experience such things alluded that we younger folks (age) couldn't sympathize with you becuase we were unfortunate to experience such things. Some of us still live in fear. I was not grace with your bigger build and athletics. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It's not something I wish upon anyone. You were fortunate to come out better than some folks from then, but not fortunate to experience such things. To hide yourself and not be able to be relaxed and live comfortably... it's unfortunate. I know the feeling. I'm sure others do to and we still live with that fear. The same fear you have experienced. I am not an out gay man. I probably won't ever be. Because I have fears that I may never be able to over come. So I choose and is very self conscious of the clothing I buy, the words I say, and my mannerisms. When your cousin is beaten badly because she chose to date a white guy, my "punishment" could only be worst. So I too fear for my life. With experience from that boy who stumbled into our office and my cousin, not only do I fear for my life with strangers, but with my family too. There's a tone in what we say, in person and internet wise. And yes that person who made those comments were very insensitive. Though you were addressing that one person, there are other people on this forum. People who are 21 and from the UK (and elsewhere). I'm just trying to say that our word choices and structure of what we write gives what we type and say another tone. Whether its passive or unknowingly. I wasn't accusing you of not having willing ears and open heart... I was saying what you have written could cause that in others. I was accusing of what you have written as overly self-righteous. You do have experience for to be somewhat self righteous, but there's no need to be combative. You said you were correct, and yes your answers does read that way, but it also read (intones) that what you said and experienced can only be possibly experience by you and anyone else wouldn't be able to sympathize with. Starting out a discussion by being immediately defensive does not create an opening atmosphere to have a proper discussion.

 

I'll just stick to this reply to the post in question back on page 2:

 

All very well stated.