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Twist Of Fate

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Hiya Guys/Gals, how is everyone doing. i wanted to start a discussion forum about my story and see what happens. Sometimes reviewing a story can be difficult. Meaning, once you post it, you can't edit or delete it. Especially if the Author comments. There's only so much that could be done. 


Twist of Fate. 


Aiden and Jason have a past, one that many like yourself probably dealt with. Because of that relationship Aiden has some problems adjusting to normal teenage life. He doesn't trust other guys, because of Jason. He doesn't have alot of friends because of Jason. He loves football and is good at it. His father wants him to be the best. But he just doesn't know if football is his calling or not. I can't give away everything... So please feel free to contact me here or on the review. There is another way to get in contact with me, email me @ starz0507@gmail.com


Main Character - Aiden

Sub Main Character - Jason James

Best Friend - Courtney

Only guy friend - Riley

Two other friends - Jada, and Sasha



Mother - Casandra 

Father - Maxwell

Sister - Samantha

Brother - Kevin


IF you guys/gals ever want pictures of my characters please ask. OR they probably won't ever be posted unless i feel like doing so. Anyway, like any teenage romance story. It's about love, hate, coming of age, sex, friends, school, sports, etc. 

Edited by Remijay
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I saw your link, read the five chapters, liked it and even posted a review/comments :)


Feedback... that's what you want, so in brief, to kick things off... here we go:


The comments on the first chapter were, I thought, a bit harsh. The same old, same old, personally, I didn't think that, but then maybe I don't get out enough - I mean read enough!


I think you are a rough diamond and like the little jem that I think you are, you... no not you exactly, your story... could do with some polishing. But... I wouldn't want it polished too much, don't want to loose the beautiful rough edges that, for me anyway, are your STYLE... yes!... and it's a good style, a unique style.


Now it's easy to see you're a writter, in case maybe you had any doubts, you wrote (chapter 4):


"The shower felt great, I washed all the misery and guilt I had down the drain."


Now that is a great description, worthy of a writer.


Only thing you need to do... find the time to finish the book.


William :)

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Thanks :) i would have to agree some comments/reviews are harsh. But it's constructive criticism, I think. It can either make me or break me.


Thank you for the kind words. I have been writing for almost 6 years and I have improved so much in that time that I am shocked at what I can put into words.

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I actually really like this story.  I find it to be a somewhat different twist that doesn't seem at all to fall into a predictable story line.  I'm definitely a fan!

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Thanks. I'm glad to have a fan...

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I have now read through Ch.5 and find the story growing on me -- no, not like a fungus!! I was a little put off on reading the first chapters -- 'more of the same old teen-aged anti-gay shit, but Jason's apparent change of heart is intriguing, so I decided to stick with it for a while.

Some of the grammatical errors are a little off-putting to an old engineering report writer such as am I, but those are NOT the responsibility of the author to correct. The author's responsibility is to be creative. The responsibility to find and correct grammatical errors are up to an editor.


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