[NickolasJames8] Bodega Bay 30

[Xiao_Chun]

What a thrill this story has been! :2thumbs:

 

Kevin finally found peace with himself and as Nick put it, he found freedom. I wouldn

[Altimexis]

Nick,

 

Overall this is your best story yet. Your writing style has matured significantly and your stories are gaining depth.

 

I echo Xiao-Chun's comments overall. I think the relationship with Mark is a huge time bomb just waiting to go off. A relationship between a 16-year-old and an 11-year-old is considered child molestation in every state, and in 2 years, it will become statutory rape. Even if the boys manage to keep it secret, what will happen to Nick when it comes time for Mark to move away. Also, in spite of the positive influence Mark has had in Nick's life, he has introduced him to pot and I cannot help but feel that he is using Kevin. After all, what 16-year-old would be interested in the least in an 11-year-old? Add to that the fact that Mark essentially raped Justin a few years back and you have one truly messed up teen. My prediction is that Kevin is in for a very rocky road ahead. :wacko:

 

There are a couple of inconsistencies that I raised earlier that were never cleared up:

1. Kevin's admission of being gay - When Justin first asked Kevin how long he'd known he was gay, Kevin realized for the first time that he was. Yet later in the story, he claims to have come out to his mother. This is an outright contradiction.
   
2. Kevin's ability to ejaculate - How many people here were able to ejaculate before their 12th birthday? Can I see a show of hands? I'm not saying that it never happens, but it would be highly unusual.
   

One final thing - the story should have really covered what happened when Kevin admitted to his dad that he was involved in the molestation of his step-brother. It was his teacher who actually instigated it, and his teacher should have been brought to justice. I can't imagine that Kevin wouldn't have had something to say about that at the end of the story. One last session with his counselor could have tied this together nicely.

 

Nick, please don't take any of this the wrong way - it's meant to be constructive criticism. This is a very good story and I enjoyed reading it.

[Xiao_Chun]

There are a couple of inconsistencies that I raised earlier that were never cleared up:

1. Kevin's admission of being gay - When Justin first asked Kevin how long he'd known he was gay, Kevin realized for the first time that he was. Yet later in the story, he claims to have come out to his mother. This is an outright contradiction.
   
2. Kevin's ability to ejaculate - How many people here were able to ejaculate before their 12th birthday? Can I see a show of hands? I'm not saying that it never happens, but it would be highly unusual.
   

Nick, please don't take any of this the wrong way - it's meant to be constructive criticism. This is a very good story and I enjoyed reading it.

 

Hi Altimexis.

 

About the first point, Nick's response was that "Kevin repressed the memory, probably because that was the only way he could cope with his moms betrayal. It was a survival mechanism for him...at least that's what I think".

 

About the second point, I know it is rare to be able to ejaculate at 11, but I guess Kevin is one of the early bloomers. I knew two guys that were able to do that at 11, when I was in a boarding school. The typical case is 12-13, but about 1 out 25 starts puberty a bit earlier.

 

Hugs,

Michael.

[TalonRider]

Hi Altimexis.

 

About the first point, Nick's response was that "Kevin repressed the memory, probably because that was the only way he could cope with his moms betrayal. It was a survival mechanism for him...at least that's what I think".

 

About the second point, I know it is rare to be able to ejaculate at 11, but I guess Kevin is one of the early bloomers. I knew two guys that were able to do that at 11, when I was in a boarding school. The typical case is 12-13, but about 1 out 25 starts puberty a bit earlier.

 

Hugs,

Michael.

Nick has gone thru all the posts concerning this story and left comments. What he had to say about the first point can be found here.

 

I've enjoyed working with Nick on this and all his other stories.

 

Jan

[NickolasJames8]

Nick,

 

Overall this is your best story yet. Your writing style has matured significantly and your stories are gaining depth.

 

I echo Xiao-Chun's comments overall. I think the relationship with Mark is a huge time bomb just waiting to go off. A relationship between a 16-year-old and an 11-year-old is considered child molestation in every state, and in 2 years, it will become statutory rape. Even if the boys manage to keep it secret, what will happen to Nick when it comes time for Mark to move away. Also, in spite of the positive influence Mark has had in Nick's life, he has introduced him to pot and I cannot help but feel that he is using Kevin. After all, what 16-year-old would be interested in the least in an 11-year-old? Add to that the fact that Mark essentially raped Justin a few years back and you have one truly messed up teen. My prediction is that Kevin is in for a very rocky road ahead. :wacko:

 

There are a couple of inconsistencies that I raised earlier that were never cleared up:

1. Kevin's admission of being gay - When Justin first asked Kevin how long he'd known he was gay, Kevin realized for the first time that he was. Yet later in the story, he claims to have come out to his mother. This is an outright contradiction.
   
2. Kevin's ability to ejaculate - How many people here were able to ejaculate before their 12th birthday? Can I see a show of hands? I'm not saying that it never happens, but it would be highly unusual.
   

One final thing - the story should have really covered what happened when Kevin admitted to his dad that he was involved in the molestation of his step-brother. It was his teacher who actually instigated it, and his teacher should have been brought to justice. I can't imagine that Kevin wouldn't have had something to say about that at the end of the story. One last session with his counselor could have tied this together nicely.

 

Nick, please don't take any of this the wrong way - it's meant to be constructive criticism. This is a very good story and I enjoyed reading it.

 

 

On the first note, like Michael and Jan have said, I addressed that in the topic that Jan's linked to...but if you read the chapter where Kevin came out to his dad, you'll see that he said he had uncovered the memory of coming out to his mom at that exact moment

 

On the second point, well, let's just say that some of us were firing like cannons when we were 11 :ranger: :ranger:

 

I'm really glad you enjoyed the story, Altimexis, and I hope that you keep reading Thanks for the props

[NickolasJames8]

I've enjoyed working with Nick on this and all his other stories.

 

Jan

 

 

The pleasure is always mine

[NickolasJames8]

What a thrill this story has been! :2thumbs:

 

Kevin finally found peace with himself and as Nick put it, he found freedom. I wouldn

[swoop67]

All I can say is wow. That was so cool of a way to end things.

 

I am thankful for all of those who have responded to Nick and helped him become the writer he is. :ranger:

 

Bret