thornton Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Erm, I feel a little dorky taking the self-promotional route, but hey, I did post the story because I hoped people would read it, so here's the link: Autophobia Autophobia is the fear of being alone or fear of oneself. In the aftermath of a devastating plague, Jake and Sam will find that the greatest threat is not from the outside, but from within. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Constructive criticism is most welcome. Cheers, Thornton Link to comment
Site Administrator Graeme Posted May 10, 2007 Site Administrator Share Posted May 10, 2007 Wow! Feel free to self-promote all you want -- that's a great story! I'm still not absolutely sure I understand the ending, but regardless it was extremely well written and with very well defined characters. Keep up the good work! Link to comment
Camy Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Excellent story, really excellent! One caveat. I'm not convinced the ending worked. I'd lose the last line: 'Something inside of Jake snapped. And somehow, he found the strength to stand up and run.' I don't think Jake would have the will-power. Ending it with 'Maybe it's not so bad. Being like them.' Might be stronger. Link to comment
tesIII Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 (edited) Umm, so you postulate that life of unknown quality (death, perhaps) with those we love is better than life as we know it alone...? A clever twist on the classic zombie flick, to say the least. Idunno about that. I mean, I would certainly commit suicide if I survived a zombie plague. I would feel too powerless and meaningless, and would have no interest in scrabbling to survive. And yet, I'd be fine with being alone all my life under ordinary circumstances. Mental life and science are interesting enough to sustain me as long as there are some people to keep me company on and off. Edited May 11, 2007 by tesIII Link to comment
thornton Posted May 11, 2007 Author Share Posted May 11, 2007 Hi guys! Thanks very much for reading and taking the time to comment! I've discovered that the ending of the story seems to be more ambiguous than I'd originally intended. I'm actually not too sure how I feel about that. Let's just say when I was writing the story, I intended the last line to signal Jake's transformation from Sam's lover to...well, something far less pleasant. However, depending on how you look at it, I guess you could read it with a somewhat more positive interpretation as well. TesIII: I don't want to say I'd agree with the decisions Sam makes, but I can certainly see where he's coming from. In fact, the whole idea for the story stemmed from some discussions I'd been having with my SO about committment. I'd like to think I'd rather be alone and alive, but that fear of loneliness is something I think a lot of us struggle with. Link to comment
Fishwings Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Yes, holy crap, this is a great story, thats fo sho =] On the contrary to what Camy said, I liked the ending, very much. You made it powerful without making it cheesy or overdone, and the last sentence was something that brought a really nice abstract flavor to the whole story. I think there were little bits on the story that were a bit choppy transition wise, like when sam broke down on Jake, but its nothing really major. The whole story is beautiful as it is-- and I seriously think its a must read~ Link to comment
thornton Posted May 17, 2007 Author Share Posted May 17, 2007 Yes, holy crap, this is a great story, thats fo sho =] On the contrary to what Camy said, I liked the ending, very much. You made it powerful without making it cheesy or overdone, and the last sentence was something that brought a really nice abstract flavor to the whole story. I think there were little bits on the story that were a bit choppy transition wise, like when sam broke down on Jake, but its nothing really major. The whole story is beautiful as it is-- and I seriously think its a must read~ Sorry to be late to getting back to you; been out of town. Thanks again for your feedback. I think you're right about the story being choppy in places. I wrote the whole thing in about a 10-hour burst of inspiration and had trouble going back and smoothing it out after the fact. Link to comment
Menzoberranzen Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 It was an interesting story, that's for sure. I also agree that it was a good ending. I'm not usually a fan of the dystopian/apocalyptic type stories, but this one was well done. Human psychology is so much more interesting in extreme situations like that. Anyway, excellent story, I very much enjoyed it! Link to comment
thornton Posted May 18, 2007 Author Share Posted May 18, 2007 Thanks for reading, Menzoberranzen! Mind if I ask how you interpreted the ending? Link to comment
Menzoberranzen Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Thanks for reading, Menzoberranzen! Mind if I ask how you interpreted the ending? I do mind, actually I personally thought that he found the strength to run away from Sam, thereby protecting him from getting 'infected.' I was a bit confused by 'something inside of Jake snapped,' though. Link to comment
Site Administrator Graeme Posted May 18, 2007 Site Administrator Share Posted May 18, 2007 I personally thought that he found the strength to run away from Sam, thereby protecting him from getting 'infected.' I was a bit confused by 'something inside of Jake snapped,' though. I couldn't work out if he was running towards or away. I also thought it was away, but he knew he was already infected, so why? It was a very enigmatic ending.... Link to comment
Menzoberranzen Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 I couldn't work out if he was running towards or away. I also thought it was away, but he knew he was already infected, so why? It was a very enigmatic ending.... I didn't think Sam was infected, so Jake was running to protect Sam. If I'm mistaken and Sam was infected, then I don't understand. Link to comment
Camy Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Jake was running to protect Sam. That's the way I read it, though I still hold with what I said before. Link to comment
thornton Posted May 19, 2007 Author Share Posted May 19, 2007 I didn't think Sam was infected, so Jake was running to protect Sam. If I'm mistaken and Sam was infected, then I don't understand. The interpretation that Jake is running away from Sam in order to protect him does seem to be the most popular alternative to what I'd originally intended. I like it. However, what I meant by the line about Jake snapping was that he'd actually lost his hold on life and transformed into a zombie, so the way I see it, he's actually running toward Sam to eat him. But, like I said, I think the more positive interpretation is really cool too, so I've decided to keep the ambiguous ending and let people take it as they will. Thanks again for reading! Link to comment
Menzoberranzen Posted May 19, 2007 Share Posted May 19, 2007 If he'd snapped and become a zombie, why would it take 'strength' for him to run towards Sam? Link to comment
thornton Posted May 19, 2007 Author Share Posted May 19, 2007 If he'd snapped and become a zombie, why would it take 'strength' for him to run towards Sam? Good question! I guess maybe I was trying to emphasize the point that it would have been impossible for him to stand up and run in his human state, so by 'strength' I meant, you know, zombie strength. Or, uh, something like that. Link to comment
Fishwings Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 Holy nappies, this thread is old as hell. The story though, is still one of my favourites and I think a lot of you may enjoy it! The old link is broken but this one will work: Autophobia Thanks Thornton for writing such a moving piece! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now