Toast

Overwhelming in it's otherness and a little frightening in it's difference.I am torn between thinking how dark and thinking this is how this world works. Kian is blessed and cursed and it is seen in every moment of his life.

Shame is another of those power words. It can be something we do to ourselves and something done to us by others. It can even be amusement, both teasing or cruel. This poem seems to be about how the mighty have fallen. By their own hand. It is also about the lowest common denominator. A soft word from crazed mouths, secretly... We all hope even in vain. A disturbing poem because... The vain cannot bear to look upon themselves.

A soliloquy. An allegory. And musical. I really, really like this one. I like that he sees his heart as a bell peper. The world or reality as a tablecloth. A sea of worry as a spilled drink Normal as a voice of sugar. His life summed up for him at dinner. So much in this. Love

Thank you very much Clovis. This story never got much in attention or readers. Maybe because I only wrote two short chapters. I am not sure why I jump about so with stories. Inexperience I guess. Your review is appreciated.

Thanks again Kavrik, very kind of you to review twice and I appreciate it. Thanks for loving it.

These are great lines but I find myself wanting more description. You pose the question, where did he get those shoes? Well describe the shoes to me so that I can enjoy them too. In an earlier part, you describe the boys eyes as blue/yellow. I was having a hard time picturing whether it was the iris that was yellow or the outside of the eye or whether it was the stunning combination of both which seemed attractive. “There” not “Their” and everywhere is one word not two. Aside from that, I think the sentence would read better if you had inserted a verb after the word guts. For example "lay" might be appropriate here. “air lock” is one word and not two. “homeworld” is one word and not two. A wonderfully entertaining read overall and the alien feel of some of your terminology really works here and draws me into your story. Going to read Chapter 2 right now. Thanks Kavrik. Moonshine was one of my first stories from a year ago. Never wrote stories until then, so not must experience. This was for fun. So I guess it is kind of irreverent to proper writing lol. Maybe I will revise and expand it one day. It was very much a spur of the moment kind of thing. I reread some of it and I was shocked at my bad language lol.

Hurt, what an endless word. A soul note, often the center of many a song sung. And this is such a song, is it not? And the shadow note, denial, plays in dark harmony. Guiding and playing in whispers. Is it coming to terms, acceptance? But is acceptance enough? I guess I respond to the emotion of the piece first. Yes, I have to read the words first, but reading a poem seems to be the reverse of writing one. For me at least. This hits on so many levels, very personal and completely universal. Thanks. And he has not listened— But he will not listen. But he is not happier. I don't think the poem is saying there is no answer to hurt, it is saying discovery is painful process. Maybe?

Can you believe I lost my comments lol, here I will try again. November in the Square suggests and implies a familiarity with a time and place. The opening lines speak of the weather. Common enough. It is winter and there is a theatre on this square. There is wind maybe and there is something passing this way going south. This all leads to and alludes to a performance of the The Dying Swan. (Google to remember the ballet and the poem.) Time again. Wednesday at lunch time. The mundane. A time for girls to smoke at the Cafe Rusticana (Another google for the opera and short story?) No one notices the beauty that passes this way. Is this a commentary? About the love of art? About a life changed by art? About a world that lets beauty pass for a sad moment of addiction? Did you go to the ballet Corvus? Did you die in joy for a life of beauty? Did you reawake in the world? These is a different review, maybe the lost first one was better, who knows I like the poem. And I will give it a rep when I have one available promise.

I want to take a moment and thank everyone who took a chance and read a poem. Also thank you for reviewing. It is greatly appreciated.

Christmas was good and white for me, hope yours was too.

Nightmind by bugeye A life Fragmented and forgotten Awakens To folly It is freezing here Winter Close is not close And distant is a memory of entanglement But touch is intimate mind to mind Phantom words running away from what must be unsaid This sight... You Bring sighs, arabesques of courtesy and grace Thru a night of dark larks While beams from smiles Cause bright insensitivity and parades captivity as parab

Poetry

Happy Birthday! Jake! ♥♥

Title: Picture: Attack of the Tick Reviewer: Jared Hey Sam... I loved the story ... I didn't know what was going on at sometimes but I loved t ... I also really liked the pictures .... Did you do them yerself?Love, Jared the little MonkeyAuthor's Response: I can't believe you read the whole thing. . Yes, I did the pictures on the paint thing, it was the first time I ever used the feature. This was the first time I did anything on the computer. I still don't know how to use paint correctly. hehe. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Love Sam. Date: 08/05/2010 06:43 AM Title: Picture: Attack of the Tick Reviewer: Clovis I read it all in one sitting. Magic. Sturgeon's "More than Human" springs to mind. I didnt need the final pictures... and was a bit sad they had to return to being human... Great tale - perhaps the best part was you witty comments in the 'End Notes". thanks. Date: 04/30/2010 08:21 PM Title: Picture: Attack of the Tick Reviewer: Nephylim Gratified Very psychadelic. It is very much as I pictured it... apart from the colours. You are a clever one, prodigy Hope your mood has lifted. I kept that candle lit. Date: 09/24/2009 03:41 PM Title: Picture: Peter Reviewer: Nephylim Perfection is never broken by dilemma. Perfection is never broken at all... that's the point... it is perfect. A perfect peace, a perfect life, a perfect love... they are merely ideals, not real, never real... the true beauty is in the imperfection. Add a crack, a dilemma, a flaw and it ceases to be perfection but begins to be beauty.Author's Response: I love this review. This is the way a mind should work. But broken perfection would be unexpected? Isn't that the Christ story, Christ broken and not broken. How can perfection understand anything while it is untouched lily white perfection. I only hinted at how complex a character Peter was in the story. Maybe being broken was one of the three choices Peter said he had to make. Maybe Grump II will answer that. Thank you your Majesty. The Most Regal Review Queen. Date: 09/23/2009 12:17 PM Title: Picture: Peter and Grump Wrestle With Passion Reviewer: Nephylim Ignore you Sam? Never. Black moods are hard. You're not alone. If you want to rant, I'm here. If you want silence for a while I'll be here when you get back. Don't get lost in the darkness hun But just in case I'll leave a candle lit. Date: 09/22/2009 03:20 PM Title: Picture: Peter and Grump Wrestle With Passion Reviewer: Nephylim I'm not entirely sure but I think this might be my favourite picture. I like the one with the purple background best... or manbe the yellow one. Of course it helps that purple is one of my favourite colours. Do you have a profile on the main forum... you should put your art in the gallery... it's certainly good enough and you will get more exposure there. You deserve it.Author's Response: Sorry. Black mood. ignore me for a few days please. Date: 09/22/2009 01:04 PM Title: Picture: Grump, Pantsed the First Day Reviewer: Nephylim Why would it offend? It's very powerful. Excellent job with a difficult subect. It's quite disturbing but strangely compelling... like you :pAuthor's Response: People are often offended by the disturbed and powerful. And truth and honesty are absolutely unbearable. Add the two together and you get explosive prejudice. Presto controversy. Art is a hair trigger for an universal gun. Sam. See, I can talk serious. But I don't have to like it. Date: 09/15/2009 02:11 AM Title: Chapter 14: Epilogue Reviewer: Nephylim I wish there was a way to respond to the 'Author's comments' This is clumsy but... I understand, but I am not riding any more.... I am dancing :)Author's Response: I just got back from walking Duke and Luke. I have two beautiful bloodhounds. The delicate little beasts could pull an elephant seventy miles an hour down the highway and complain about the slow pokes. I am glad to hear I have you on your toes. Bye going out to dinner. Love Sam Date: 08/22/2009 04:33 PM Title: Chapter 14: Epilogue Reviewer: Nephylim Oh no. Why why why. This was my favourite. Sob. It's like premature ejaculation. it came to an end too soon. Way too soon. You are soooo cruel. I would comment that the ending was way to abrupt. It doesn't explain anything and leaves us hanging thinking wft just happened. Not that this is necessarily a criticism but it could have done with a bit more detail in the epilogue. All in all it was an excellent story, mainly well told. It broke a lot of rules and I like it for that... so do I. I'm sorry it's over and glad i got to share it. Don't give up writing because I want to see more of you. Thanks for the rideAuthor's Response: Sorry for the delay in responding. I am recovering from a compulsive catharsis. I guess I'm not doing this well, but this is what I was trying to do. When I read I want to be a part of the story. How can I be involved if it is all laid out for me. If a gap, or 'not hearing the whole story' makes you wonder. Then that part of the story becomes the readers. His own part. I hope this connects the reader and the story. These five guys went thru so much in a short period of time, it changed them. It changed their destiny. A new story was the only answer. Please, Nephylim continue to ride with me. Date: 08/22/2009 05:59 AM Title: Chapter 13: Mind over Matter Reviewer: Nephylim Oooo er. Would it be a disaster if it did. Nice piece of writing. I love Tom's reaction and the little tidbits of private feeling as all this was happening were sweetAuthor's Response: Chapter thirteen was a big risk. It scared the you know out of me. I love Tom. I'm still not sure. I guess it was another one of those spooky "chapter 13" stories you hear whispered about. Thanks, Nephylim, you know what for. Date: 08/22/2009 05:56 AM Title: Chapter 12: Don't Tell Me That Reviewer: Nephylim What a metaphor Yes, I feel something coming, and I want to know what it is. What choices has Peter make and were will it lead? What is all of this leading up to. And a hermaphroditic dragon? Dangerous stuff. Unicorn and phoenix can be a dangerous combination. The story remains sweet. Keep true to your vision and who knows where it will lead. Your soul shines Date: 08/21/2009 03:24 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Nephylim There is a lot to be said for just 'going with it' I too become obsessed with my characters and I think it shows in the writing. Everything becomes more 'real'. I am awed and honoured that I have played a small part in the life of this story.. it is so worth it. There are so many stories out there that are written well, with all the poish but have no heart. This one, and all those you write have something more than words... they have magic. Keep on and who knows where it will end. BlessingsAuthor's Response: You have heart, Nephylim, and I treasure that. I simply search for it. You give freely, Nephylim, and I cherish that. I take and hoard, I am so hungry. You offer a boon unasked for, and I take it. I know a good thing when I see it. Date: 08/20/2009 03:04 AM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Mykal Bugeye, The possibilities of this story and it's characters are endless. You have hit upon a story line that could go on for years. If I had to choose I would like more "feelings" and how those interact (or not) with the others. Sally is a girl, but her thoughts and dialogue are male. No offense to the women of our group, but you do think and talk differently. Keep up the great work. I agree with Nephylim, that the polish is showing. Just don't rub so hard you get rid of what makes the characters unique. I love this story!! Author's Response: Thank you, Mykal. I'm so new to this. A review is still such a surprise. I find your first paragraph quite an astute critique, but please, I do prefer the second. Grump is my first, you know. I have no skills or training, it's all excitement. I like doing this because it is so killer. I knew a girl like Sally. Independent, no fear, never hesitated. She kissed me first. I liked her a lot and she was my first girlfriend; but I liked her brother more. Sally is a tribute, you might say. We all have endless possibilities and life says pick a path. It's a dichotomy. I like words that create emotions. I am finding out also that I'm a review horn dog. Please forgive me if I fall short in returning the favor. Thanks for your time and encouragement. I tried hard not to be the grump. Date: 08/20/2009 01:06 AM Title: Chapter 11; One and One Equals Dragon Reviewer: Nephylim That's not what I'm thinking of. Sam is not so grumpy now. Humpy but not grumpy. You know I love this story but is it going anywhere? I hope so. I like being taken for a ride.Author's Response: I guess like in any TV series, my characters but prance until the screen until the show is cancelled. I'm interested in who they are at the moment. In their personal discoveries about themselves and each other. Maybe I'm obsessed with them. I have ideas about their destiny. But destiny is a diva and picks her own time and place. The story feels young to me yet. I think I have time to do this. Maybe I'm wrong. I always take what you say seriouly. If not for you I would have stopped writing five chapters ago and returned to my life as humble reader. yours truly, bugeye Date: 08/19/2009 04:32 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Nephylim There are always some things which are easier to write than others, some times when it is easier to write. Sometimes when a story needs to be given its head and sometimes when it needs to be controlled. To everything there is a season. The winter of the soul tears down and breaks up (or is it breaks down and tears up) making way for the new growth of spring. Anything worthwhile is worth a little effort and this story is, in my humble opinion, worthwhile. :)Author's Response: You are a rock. You are the man. You put chocolate in my mouth. You curb my toes and raise my hoho. Thanks Nephylim Date: 08/18/2009 05:34 PM Title: Chapter 10: Thru New Eyes Reviewer: Nephylim Me too Is this the calm before the storm I wonder? Still liking it. The writing seems to be getting more confident and polished with every chapter. Give me more honey.Author's Response: This chapter was hard for me. The words didn't come out. I had to struggle with it. Is this bad or good. Am I losing the story because am trying to control it. Date: 08/18/2009 03:01 AM Title: Chapter 9: Things Just get Stranger and Harder Reviewer: Nephylim If you're too idle you never get to do anything at all. It is continuing to be intriguing, sweet and erotic. I just loved the last bit... very tantric. You have a strange and beautiful mind and you write a strange and beautiful story. The grammar is much better in this one and the polish shows. I am very interested to see where this is going. I want to try the circle of infinite pleasure.Author's Response: I tried, I wanted to please you. I'm convinced you are my only reader. You must spend a couple of minutes a day clicking on my stories to fake the numbers. your paranoia barracuda. Date: 08/15/2009 03:29 PM Title: Chapter 8; Introductions Reviewer: Nephylim You brain is molded fine... you still need to check grammar and spelling but... laugh I could have...but someone else did it for me. I loved the last chapter. I laughed so i did. Circles eh? Powerful stuff. And the Library... who told you about the Library? Guarded by a dragon too... any invisible rabbits in there?Author's Response: Hey, this thing has spell check. Who knew? Maybe my words will be spelled wrong on purpose only now. A prairie is the perfect place for a library dragon, an end result of natural evolution. I love to be funny cause no one thinks I am. I am almost normal today. Thanks for being a review friend to all us new unformed ones. Tickle Tickle Kiss Slap. Date: 08/12/2009 05:18 PM Title: Chapter 6: Ding Dong the School Bell Reviewer: Nephylim The rabbit in my garden is invisible and likes to play with the fairies. They don't come in because of the iron. Still loving it.Author's Response: Now this I could really get hard for. Duelling bunny welfare: Lucky foot and his gang of seven go ear to ear with Spotted Nose the fornicator. My stories must be really bad and your heart too big and soft, Angellove. Date: 08/09/2009 04:43 PM Title: Chapter 5: Hand in Hand Reviewer: Nephylim Confused? Shocked, intrigued, unsettled.... but most of all interested. :)Author's Response: I'm thinking about this seriously. A few words has my mind spinning. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Date: 08/08/2009 01:26 PM Title: Chapter 2: Gauntlet Reviewer: Nephylim It needs a little bit of editing but the story is sweet. I like the build up and differing perspectives. Looking forwards to the next ten feet :)Author's Response: I tend to trip over my own two feet every ten feet. There is no guarentee my toes will be willing, even if my heart is. Thanks for the candy though. Date: 08/04/2009 02:22 PM Title: Chapter 1 Prologue Reviewer: Timmy5 Great start. Would love to see more. : )Author's Response: More is on the way. That is if I can figure this flytrap, puzzlebrained black hole called "The Computer" if you please. Date: 08/04/2009 10:42 AM

Title: Chapter 3: Kicked in the Libido Reviewer: taina1959 And why in the world haven't you continued with such a great story? So it's just Nephy and I commenting, so what? Don't let it die babe!!! I read your comment on the Doctor/Lawyer thread and came searching for your story. I've been breaking my head trying to figure out where I'd read it and couldn't even think of who the writer was. I'm so glad you posted the name of the story!!! Please! Please! Please! Continue it! I wanna know what happens with Jett and Arrow! Date: 10/19/2010 10:06 AM Title: Chapter 3: Kicked in the Libido Reviewer: Nephylim This is definately now my favourite of your stories. you write so vividly. I can see that appartment and, more distractingly, I can see Jett's butt You are a mighty fine writer sir.Author's Response: Thank you. Date: 10/09/2009 02:52 PM Title: Chapter 2: The Preliminary Round Reviewer: Nephylim Living up to it's promise hun. Synchronicity it's called. Be careful of what you wish for eh? I've been burned by that one too. I'm thinking that maybe Jett should take a cold shower. I like the way it's going... not to fast, not to slow... perfect rhythm. Nice one Sam.Author's Response: Thank you. Date: 10/07/2009 01:47 PM Title: Chapter 1: Mister Wonderful Reviewer: taina1959 Good start to the story!! I love the way he carries himself. What does he look like other than having a great bubble butt? I can see him walking on the sidewalk carrying the box full of sandwiches swinging his hips in his tight jeans and a silk shirt with long wide pointy sleeves, tall, thin, perfect longish hair and a beautiful face. I hope Mr. Wonderful will notice him now.Author's Response: Thank you. Date: 10/07/2009 07:50 AM Title: Chapter 1: Mister Wonderful Reviewer: Nephylim I always leap and look, it's a habit I have no intention of breaking... well at least not until it breaks me This is very different for you, but very good nevertheless. i love your descriptions, the way you describe what's inside as well as what't outside. I love your wild crazy side, coming out in your writing but this is less wild and more... grounded. Everyone needs to be grounded sometimes. Loving it so far. Keep going but don't forget the rest of them... you HAVE to tell me more about Avery and Pug and, of course Sam. :)Author's Response: Thank you. Date: 10/06/2009 02:15 AM

Title: Chapter 6: Dinner for Two Reviewer: Nephylim Oh yes. This is good stuff Sam. I keep forgetting to rate so I shall go and do it now. This story is more like a prose poem. The words tell more than the story. I love the way you tell us what the characters are thinking as well as what they are saying and it is VERY intriguing to find out why Jack feels like Peter Date: 10/21/2009 02:21 AM Title: Chapter 5: Restart Reviewer: Nephylim Ooooh... how interesting. Isn't it strange how the dynamic changes so much with the introduction of just one person... or is it? Fine work Sam. The tension at the club was awesome. Date: 10/20/2009 02:06 AM Title: Chapter 4: Car Talk Reviewer: Nephylim This has taken an unusual turn. What an idea? Half the football team dating the other half? Coming to a high school near you... So Sam is a trendsetter all of a sudden... the cool one, the popular one, the one everyone is talking about. And he doesn't like it. Meh... he'll get used to it. He just needs to relax and have some fun. I have to admit I was wondering from the time Sam asked him, whether Jack was going to be a replacement in The Circle for Peter. I am still wondering. You have to care Sam... caring's what it's all about. You'd be surprised how much light one small candle flame can generate.Author's Response: Nephylim I need a favor. Not for me but for Tom (lostone) he has a post on Lounge under Cheaper to Buy. He is from Idaho. I promised him a reputation vote for a story about Idaho. Since I am banned I cannot give him one. Would you give him one? I have no right to ask but I hate to think I left him wondering? He first posted on the shower/bath post. Please. I wont bother you again. Sorry to ask you. Date: 09/30/2009 08:23 AM Title: Chapter 3: First Date Surprise Reviewer: Nephylim What fun. You are full of surprises as ever. I wonder if Jack will join in the dance. Grump's mother sounds like me, only I don't have a room for unfinished projects... with me it's the whole damn house. Of course I do finish some of the things I start... depends how important they are. Coincidentally I have two little cousins called Jack and Sam... Sam is a feisty little thing. Everyone things that Jack is the 'good boy' and Sam just trouble in a compacy bullet like package. I happen to think that Sam is the one with all the potential. Maybe I just like trouble... they say like calls to like. I wonder what kind of trouble Sam in going to get into next. Date: 09/23/2009 04:44 PM Title: Picture: Grump and Sally Dance Reviewer: Nephylim I was about to ask I like the introduction of the circle. I like circles, cycles, life, death, seasons, love, life. As above so below, easy come easy go. Only it's never easy. To dance you have to feel the music. Do you feel the music Sam? It's everywhere. It's in your words and in your pictures so, by definition it has to be in you. The music is strong in these pictures... I hope your music is joyous... maybe salsa, maybe jazz... definately not pop. A little thrash now and again never hurt and classical can take you on a journey too.... ah such a journey. words, images, music.... The journey continues. Date: 09/20/2009 03:31 PM Title: Chapter 1: Prologue Reviewer: Nephylim Ah but there is more than one way to skin a cat, more than one way to dance. The whole of life is a dance and you can sit on the sidelines or leap for the stars.... I am a spinner, a bouncer and a leaper (NOT leper) Date: 08/23/2009 06:00 AM Title: Chapter 1: Prologue Reviewer: Nephylim Well that was unexpected. What a different Grump to the beginning of the last one. Edit your stories my dear, they are too good to have those annoying little slips to distract the reader. A new day, a new dance. You dance so well and I do so love to dance. Well done on a very interesting beginning.Author's Response: You are so right about all the booboos. I hope I exorcised all the little spooks. I get so excited I don't read what I write, I just sort of speak in tongues and roll on the floor and type with my toes. Don't let me get away with it, preacher man. If there was a god of the unexpected, he would rule the heavens. If you saw me dance you would... laugh... hard... it would be dangerous to you and any one within fifty feet. Thanks Nephylim. Love Sam Date: 08/22/2009 02:09 PM

Hey Night Owl, A good read. I was scared for Parker, I am glad he had a guardian angel. Thank you. The writing was excellent.

Add me to the list of "I liked your story". And add very much. Well written and compelling and believable. Jeremy is a successful man with a past, a terrifying one. I would like to read more about him. Where does he go now? Oh, did I say excellent? I meant too.

Enjoyed number nine. I liked hearing all the details of his day played against the suspense of what is going to happen?

Fascinating story. Original. Great piece. Really enjoyed reading this.

Wonderful and beautifuly crafted. The care you took in this is obvious. It rings true. The presentation is one of the best I have seen in anthologies too.

We have three characters here. The narrator. The subject of the story. And a mystery man. A story based on observation. Like guessing and wondering about strangers. That is very human and interesting. Good premise and nicely done.

A tragic life foreshadows an even more tragic lost. An interesting story. Well written.

Unheard by bugeye A hidden thing But it turns my head Unheard music Bright as it is Not lost Just out of mind Almost Sometimes And not a secret, either It had it's day Or two or three What else to do with it? It will not cease It will not depart It will not Until I die A companion now Shadow light Whispering Always This is best 　 A wild thing Tame as flame Ready to engulf All those lies Told to soothe the so

One Moment by bugeye You You You Me Me Me Discover Love Love Love Simple as that My eye caught your eye Your smile bought my joy My hand lifted your heart A new path from now on Your name Your name Your name My name My name My name Spoken In whispers Called In longing Now forgotten Why Did the song stop there You dance on You call out You follow the sun I turn and run See See See Fly Fly Fly Life