jian_sierra

Yeah, I love dialogue So when I'm writing it sometimes get out of hand. Will try to fix it on future chapters. Thanks for the review, they're really helpful

More physical description, now there's a thought. I want people to have their own mental image of the characters so I just give out bits which I think are important. And reviews are always helpful. I appreciate yours very much.

Oh wow. You used your first review on my story? I'm flattered, thanks. Hope it would be worth it

Wow! I certainly felt that. And I was so excited when I read the words 'Negros Occidental' and 'inasal'. Kababayan! The story is so easy to read and the story line is believable. If this is your first time to write, then great job Hope to read more from you soon. If you'll excuse me for providing constructive feedback, the only thing which gave me pause was the changing tenses (present tense vs past tense). I noticed this because the first few stories I posted here gave me the same comments so I understand how it is. When you're writing, you just put on paper how you feel. But it would help readers appreciate your story more if you're mindful of the tense you used. There are a lot of editors here on the site so if you want to improve yourself, you can ask for their help. As I already mentioned, I think this is a very good story so just ignore my other comment if you wish. Thanks for sharing!

Thanks, Bleu. Coop and Mich are just so supportive of each other, I love it. Hope the 'love' continues for the two. I'm rooting for them!

I stay away from rollercoasters. We just don't mix. Kiddie rollercoasters, that I can do Pleasure pain? Coop and Mich are kinky? Hm... interesting.

One of your favorites? I especially like the part where Coop told Mich about Luke. I just love the way the two of them showed their concern for each other. So sweet. And who wouldn't like to dance along someone singing to you?

Vern and Coop were classmates in high school so the things she knows were more or less guesswork.

What questions do you have? I might miss some so please feel free to point them out to me.

I already read this the first time you posted it on the Poetry Discussion forum, but since I want to show my support, I decided to leave a review. I think this poem is really sweet

Hey Marzipan, I'm sorry you didn't like this chapter that much. Although you're right that there was a span of time between this chapter and the last (I think about 3 months), the change here is intentional. You'll understand when you've read the next chapters. Don't worry, Coop still say and do the darndest things sometimes

I love poems and something about your poem moved me. I enjoyed the way you played with words and sorry if I'm not being coherent. Although I love reading poems, I don't know the technical side of it so please excuse me. Well what I'm trying to say is that I enjoyed reading your poem so much. Thanks!

Sudden? That's a good thing right? Means I surprised you or something?

I told you this is light-hearted. I wanted this not to be like NAK so I made it a bit humorous.

Well I've avoided this part for as long as I can and I just can't prolong it any longer.

Well, you'll find out later in the story

Yeah Coop's laundry flying in the air is really awkward. But Mich handled it well so he gets two thumbs up

Is Mich drawn to Coop too? *shrugs*

I love Coop's inner voice, I'm just sayin'

Yes there won't be two or three jocks vying for Coop's heart. This story is rather straight forward although the main characters are definitely not straight

Well I try to post them once a week. Unless I get lazy (which is often) and decide to write something else. Thanks for reading, very much appreciated.

Maligayang Kaarawan! That means 'Happy Birthday' in my native language

Well I don't want a story to end either. I just want them to go on and on to eternity. But I was told once, when one story ends, another story begins

I'm a nerd Hope you like this story. The writing is a little better than NAK (the technical stuff, of course). There's little drama though. This one is more light

Hey John, Well I'm glad you asked me to read this one. This is indeed a good story and I already feel for your characters. The only criticism I would give is that you need an editor. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. Your story is really good. If you get an editor to polish this story then this would be a great story. Jian