Westie

Actually, it honestly hadn't occurred to me that my comment was slamming something you had said. If it had, I'd still have said the same thing.... but would have quoted you...

I think you used to be able to talk about decades as era's but that isn't the case any more. Society moves too fast, and so talking about the "80's" is a wider generalisation than talking about "the 40's". I don't think 1980's culture can be defined in a single spread, and the remnants of pop culture from the late 80's being rehashed in the early 90's are as meaningless as claiming to be reliving the whole 1970's because you were still a fan of ABBA in 1981. I was born in 1985, so the earliest I could legitimately claim to have genuine memories of society and culture is 7 years old (1992).... more realistically to understand those memories, 1993/4. Those 80's children who were so young as not to remember the decade in its completeness, are nostaligic not for the "real" 1980's, but for the watered down remnants that made it out and into the 1990's - basically, all the good stuff. But if you didn't live the "fear" of the cold war that Mr Arbour alludes to, or experience the pain of the recessions - a pop culture gloss on a real and painful decade isn't a memory or even a history. It's a propaganda

My darling Sharon, I love you to bits.... But such a statement really makes you the queen of mean, as well as a goddess...

Mr Arbour, you have made some critical mistakes in this blog. (1) Never Ever Ever admit that you have so many paternity chapters already written... it makes the fanbase restless. (2) Never Ever Ever EVER feel you have to apologise for breaks in the series. You have a prolific output of content that would make almost every other author on the planet BLUSH. The fact that you maintain it with two completely separate series so different in subject matter is amazing. You know that I am a HUGE fan of the bridgemont series. You have on occasion asked me for advice on certain topics on which I am particularly knowledgeable... and so as much as anyone I know how you value to quality and accuracy of this series. Don't force it. Wait until is comes naturally. It's going to be worth it. Especially since we know that Odyssey is going to be EPIC compared with the size of previous bridgemont series stories. If anyone would like some advice for how to cope with Mark Arbour withdrawal symptoms in the meantime, I heartily recommend re-reading the series. I did just that over my christmas break and it was completely fabulous. West

I might suggest that ownership/control of Escorial might serve similar functions. As might control of family trusts. LEt's not forget that this is a family that invests together, and so their family fortunes are very much in one pot. Their share of that pot, and how it comes to be controlled and managed, could be critical. For all their successes, the vast bulk of the family wealth must still reside with JP (as one of Stef's early investors), Isidore (who owns her own construction company that must rival Crampton Construction) and Stef himself. Brad is successful, but although we don't know exact detail, we do know that a lot of his money is within the Schluter Trusts controlled by him and Stef jointly. His combined fortune with Robbie - large though it undoubtedly is - would be dwarfed by the wealth held by the rest of the family. Escorial is where everyone comes together. It is their retreat and their solace. I think the inheritor of that estate, or at least the one who ended up in ultimate control, would take a position of leadership within the family. That said, it would undoubtedly be less strong than the power JP holds. But, you are thinking of leadership as something one exercises. But there is much more than control and power. In this family - of secrets and lies abound - it may just be that the Head of the Family is the one to whom JP entrusts all it's secrets.

And you are missing the point that Tim is making. We talk about this story as if it's real all the time. We examine the motives of the characters and critique the value of certain actions. It is legitimate for Tim to ask the question that he asks, and to get a response on the same lines as we answer other questions - he deserves the "in life response" which is more than saying "it's so because that's the way mark writes it".

Dunno, but it sounds hot

My comment was more subtle than saying "Darius is a carbon copy of Ace". This is character analysis - what I was saying is that the two characters have started to serve the same function. Ace (in Be Rad) was to Brad as Darius is BECOMING to Will.

I have banned Paya's mum from my kitchen. I have banned my mum from my kitchen. its bests to be up front and say "this is my kitchen, you are a guest, and I'd be offended if you try to help"

Ok, so I have a few things to go through.... Firstly, Tony. I take exception to some of the comments made here about Tony. Some of them are really judgemental, talking about what Tony "should" realise etc. There is something about the gay community that I really despise and I think - whether consciously or not - we see it a lot here at GA. It's this perception that a guy who is still closeted is not quite a real gay - a second class gay if you like. People who are "out" and spent very little time in the closet seem to have this superior attitude and sit in judgment over those who go through more internal turmoil than others. I don't want to single people out and I'm sure it's subconscious but I read this above particularly in methodwriter's post. I hope I'm wrong about that. What methodwriter is saying here is all very logical... But you forget that when you are in the closet and struggling with a million tons of baggage from the past, rational thought is completely impossible. The heart doesn't feel - or in this case, FEAR - in a rational way. You can't talk about what Tony should or should not realise. That said, I do agree that the relationship between tony and Will is poisonous to both of them. On to Robbie... This is a guy who has a natural tendency to let others take control. He is easily manipulated because he allows himself to be vulnerable emotionally. This is why he and Brad are so great together - whether he likes it or not Robbie needs someone to steer him in a way that he is incapable. The problem here is that Robbie is allowing other people to cloud his mind. JJ is manipulating him, and Robbie can't see it because he is trying to protect JJ... He see's JJ as vulnerable in a way that he actually isn't. He is manipulated by Janine because he needs to be liked and loved - so he confuses what she wants with what she needs. Most importantly, he still resents Brad being in control - mostly, I suspect, because he cannot face his incapability, and transfers this blame on Brad instead of himself. Moving on to Brad, this guy feels a massive weight of responsibility that is not his. When he is backed into a corner, his actions are explosive. It took Will to intervene in the last chapter to save the family from Brad's "nuclear option" by providing everyone with an exit that left nobody with egg on their faces. Moving on to young Will - this guy is so like his father it's scary. He needs to be in control, and he has a massive temper. BUT - this is controlled somewhat by a more strategic mind. At the same time, compromise is not an option for him. He goes all out to win. What we saw in this latest chapter was Will achieving his goal - which was to ensure adequate care for his mother. The fact that the end solution allows him to keep her completely at arms length and not deal with her is actually a bonus for him. Having Darius appointed guardian actually was more selfish on Will's part than he might like to admit... On to Darius... This guy is an enigma. He is honourable, responsible, yet his judgement is sometimes unpredictable. If the "Will" character is a progression of the "brad" we saw in the 1980's, then it follows in the same way that "Darius" is the new version of "Ace". At this point, there is an interesting dynamic that we should consider, and that is Stefan and JP. Stefan is increasingly acting as a moral compass to the other characters, and you might see this as attempting now to deflect or even protect people from JP getting involved. The JP character has gone through many changes in the background of almost every story since Be Rad. Now he is getting older, the very fact that he has to get involved is more powerful than any action he might take. More so since he was ill and in hospital. So Stefan acts as his first line support - but does so with methods more reminiscent of Tonto's activism than the "smart power" practiced by the likes of "Grandmamen" Marie Crampton, and passed to her son JP. It so happens that the real leader of this family - or rather the emerging leader - is the only true child of JP. Exceptional judgement and almost universally respected, Claire is the new matriarch in waiting. She has all the best qualities of Marie Crampton, JP, Isidore and Sam. Cool, calm and controlled, she is above the mere squabbles of Brad, Robbie, Will Et all. I suspect that is Stefan is JP's first line, then Claire is the special forces element of the family arsenal. As for what I would like to happen next... I'm not sure. I like to be surprised by Mark. I know that some of this will go in a direction none of us expect... My own feeling is though that since millennium ended these stories are much more soap like - with many smaller plots instead of one over-arching story. I know some of you like this evolution, and your view is valid. But I for one would like the next story to be another... Adventure. If that makes sense. Anyway, enough of my ramblings... I'm off to watch "the grinch" in Czech with my in laws...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating death.... though Sharon's bus idea has merit... I would also like to see a storyline for "Who shot JR?" "Who shot JJ". But seriously, there is a huge cast of characters now with CAP, and I for one would not be sorry to see a large clear out of some of them. I already suspect that Jeanine is going to be less prominent, and with that JJ also. Going back to my thoughts on more "mature" voice as narrator, I would also see the teenage characters playing less of a main role until they are slightly older. But thats just me.

Would it be such a bad thing? I think its important to have characters disappear. I think it was incredibly important for Billy to exit the series (and important that it was so final). Its been so long since we had a death of a mainstream character. I don't necessarily think it should be JJ, but he is a "prime candidate" for a that kind of exit.

I went back to my hometown this weekend. The purpose was twofold, firstly, Paya and I were visiting my parents for Christmas before we jet off to the Czech Republic for the actual event. Secondly, we had a large family gathering, where Paya would meet with the majority of my very, very large family. The thing is, I always feel a little bit like "a tomato in a fruit basket" at family functions. Like the tomato, Technically, I belong there - but in reality it just doesn't feel right. I went away feeling very depressed - which shouldn't have been the case because family events should be uplifting. On the positive front, Paya and I got very drunk with my dad on scotch whisky... nothing helps you bond with your new father-in-law more than getting hammered together. Anyway, not a rambling blog this time.... I just needed to get this out there Night all Westie

Though, the fact that it is unrealistic also shows that the doctor's competence can honestly be called into question, so it does fit with the overall theme we are exploring here.

We're modest.... we will just take Tom Daley....

Its a common misconception. I mean - look at the Olympics, which had pretty good weather throughout. Actually one of the more startling comparisons is that London has the same annual rainfall as Cape Town in South Africa, as an example. What IS true is that the British make a national sport out of complaining about the weather. And this rubs off on those foreigners who move here too. I think this helps to skew perception a little.

I loved trebs' blog, but I loved your use of the word "erudite" even better

So, as anyone who has read my last two blogs (and a few sporadic ones before that) will know, I now live in London. Now, as anyone who has moved from a rural idyll to the city lights will tell you, cities are a completely different beast in almost every aspect. Here are the things I love: (1) A coffee house is never more than 5 minutes away.... (2) I can hold my boyfriend's hand and nobody cares (3) I can kiss my boyfriend in the street and nobody cares (4) In fairness re: (2) & (3), I could probably get away with going to work in a pink tutu and a tiara and nobody would care. This is not an experiment I'm planning on trying (5) I can sample food of almost every nationality, because every country has a community here (6) If you want to see beautiful architecture, go to almost any street in the capital, and look upwards (7) Turning a corner can lead to a wondrous surprise.... from a famous building just sitting there, to a special cake shop or delicatessen... (8) There is a tremendous amount to do here every week and weekend.... (9) ... and a massive amount of it is for free (10) I'm anonymous, I like it that way, and so does everyone else There are things I hate too.... If you smile at someone on the tube, you are likely to be given the finger (actually, in my case, some girl whispered to her companion "do you think he's one of those retards").... But in the main, the city... a 24 hour beast, faster paced than a village, is a much better place to live.... By the way - I hope nobody thinks these posts boastful.... I promise you, I will still talk about challenges I'm facing.... nothing is all rosy.... but sometimes life seems to deal the right hand. Its just that to get there, you have to go through a few bad deals....

Don't forget that decades are not purely defined by the interests of those who were in their youth at the time. Youth culture is important, and I know that it is a passion for you, but personally I wouldn't be surprised if Mark chose to explore some of the themes of the 2000's with a more mature voice. For example, CAP and 1968 were both heavily influenced by the war in Vietnam. It might suit Mark's proclivities towards historical contrast to have the 2000's - war in Afghanistan and Iraq, aftermath of the twin towers etc - told by JP. For one, I would find the story of JP's inner turmoil fascinating. Reconciling pacifist sentiment left over from the 1960's with the anger of recent events, and being swept up in a tide, slowly thereafter coming to regret judgements made in haste? I think that would be an awesome story. Moreover, in the 2000's the wealth of Matt, Stefan and Brad will become stratospheric when their £100,000 each of google shares makes them multi billionaires. Mark may choose to inter-wind this story with a more mature voice for Matt - like he did for Brad in millennium. All I'm saying is that we don't need to assume that the more youthful characters have more merit than the older ones. For me, no character mark has ever written was more sexy than Matt. None was more interesting than Stefan. None more thought provoking than JP. Moreover, I am still unshakeable in my belief that the more mature characters have a much better value in terms of the complexity they can be put into the stories. There is only so much "coming of age" that Mark can write before it ceases to challenge him. One thing I have learned about Mark through following his writing is that he constantly challenges himself with how he writes. I'm counting on it!

For this to make sense, i guess I need to start this sojourn of a blog around 10 years ago. I was in college (6th form college, to you guys out there in the US) and i had moved out on my own into a really terrible "bedsit" flat. My studies were just coming to an end and it seemed to me that my world had fallen apart. I spent my entire childhood assuming that I would become an English teacher (actually, not true: I did briefly flirt with the thought of becoming a priest, and got a fair way down the line before I pulled back). But at this point in my life, I found that although my grades were good enough, i just didn't have the money to go to university. Supporting myself and somewhat estranged from my parents, the process for applying for grants and bursaries and loans was complex, and in truth with the trauma of leaving home I had left it slightly late. And so it was that I found my dream of going to university falling through my fingers. You have no idea what that was like for me. Let me be clear, back then, failing was not an option. If life has a target, I expected to hit the bullseye every time. So after a lot of soul searching, I got a full time job. And I knew I was going to succeed: i was going to work harder than everyone else and for longer hours. I was going to put every ounce of my life into that job. And I did. When you read my CV/resume/LinkedIn profile what will strike you first is that I achieved some kind of promotion in each of the subsequent 8 years. I put everything into that company and the job, going from a guy with 4 A-Levels, to a senior manager within a discipline (IT) that I had never even considered. As some of you will know, I made a career changing break last year to take on a role in London, and with it Paya moved over here with me. The job I have now has significantly less responsibility, but more money. I work 6 hours a day at the most, and get to travel a lot and entertain clients. its a pretty perfect scenario, because it has given me a luxury: TIME And it has made me realise just how much I neglected when my career - being successful - was my only goal. Apart from online, I don't actually have any friends. I had hundreds of "colleagues" at my old job, but not a single one of them I could class as a friend now. I let my health suffer. Certainly, there are times before I met Paya that I drank too much. I slept too little. I ate junk food (usually pizza on the sofa in my office at 2am). I literally NEVER visited a gym. I got by on 3 hours sleep and a huge amount of caffeine (both in coffee and tablet form). Since I moved to london, I feel like I've got something back. I'm more relaxed. I'm happier (though that certainly has a lot to do with having Paya here with me). I'm finally starting losing weight. I haven't had a single take-out in six months. I drink less (both coffee and alcohol). This year will be the third I spend with Paya. It really strikes me as crazy that my life has changed quite so much. I see much more clearly now that my perspective has shifted away from my career, and more towards OUR home life - there's nothing so magical as being in love. West

Bah. You say that to all the guys

Thats a pretty awesome milestone.... it would be intresting to know how much GA traffic is driven here specifically for your stories. I bet it's huge

Well, what I didnt make clear here I guess is that I have tried (and failed) before.... fo I guess in many ways this is the last chance saloon for me

So, something happened that has made me re-evaluate a few things. When I first came to GA, It was because of Mark Arbour's stories. As I became a member I became active in chat, and then the forums. Between the Soapbox and MA's forum, I was if not prolific, then certainly visible. I even tried writing my own story - until I realised how painful reliving old memories can be. The story is still there, unfinished - its appallingly bad (honest, take a look, you wont get past the first few para's). I even met the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with on here. This year, Paya moved 1200 miles to be with me here in London (I moved a measly 200 miles). Thats a powerful commitment, and one that all started right here. But as time filled up my day, I withdrew from forums. I withdrew from chat. I stopped updating this blog so often. I didn't write any more fiction. After the move to GA Stories, I didn't even write any reviews. So, why am I here now. Basically, because I participate in the Soapbox, and because I read Mark Arbour's stories still, and contribute in his forum. And then this Sunday, the soapbox closed. In the end, it was anti-climactic. It was sudden, it was clearly final, and we seem to be in a place where we all say goodbye to an old friend, rather than rallying against a perceived injustice. But what now? If I want to read and appreciate Mark's stories, I can do that from his group. I don't need GA for that. So, at this point, GA is no longer important in my life. Now - just to be clear - this isn't one of those "dramatic, prissy, drama "look at me" queen" posts announcing I'm leaving. We have seen those far to many times for them to gain any credibility - and to be honest there are people out there who can do the "pay me some attention" exit far better than I can. So.... what is the point of my blog entry? Well, I'm glad you asked (or rather, glad I asked myself). Because Myr made the point quite well in his announcement closing the soapbox. This site is a story site. Theres literally TONS to do here. Even without the soapbox, there is still a vibrant community here. And this site MEANS something to me. it helped me when I came out, I found the love of my life here, and I found comfort in who I am here (sooner than I did in the real world, at any rate). So, rather like a relationship, I conclude that actually, what is lacking here is hard work and effort on my part. I'm no lonbger engaged with the GA community. I don't go into chat. I don't read stories (excepting MA). I don't leave reviews (even for MA). I don't write stories. I don't keep up my blog. The key thing here is that "I don't". So, if we are not a little early for new years resolutions, this is how I am going to solve the dilemma: I am going to write .... something. I don't know what. I am going to complete a review. Starting with one for each of the CAP/Bridgemont stories that I have abused so much I am going to read.... something different/new. I am quite picky. I like high quality work, and I like stories/series that are obscenely long. We're talking the length of a large novel. recommendations welcome. I am going to update my blog more frequently (what do you mean "oh no"?). I am going to step into forums that are not soapbox or Mark Arbour related I am going to go into chat and get better acquainted with newer members I am going to the next GA European Meet I am going to rewrite and complete my existing story and anything else that comes to mind. So this is the opposite of the "I'm leaving GA because I got an Ouchie" tale. This is more of a... "comeback". And in true, Cher style (like any good homo), It's gonna be like I've never been away...

Say in a stage whisper..... "that one's obviously faking it..."