Andrew Q Gordon

That was a really great second to last chapter. You've got some work cut out for you for the final one. Things sort of tied up nicely though I have to wonder what Zeek would do if a really hot guy started to make overtures. Not that he realizes he such a hottie, maybe Jake isn't gonna cut it. Okay so that won't happen. For the 'bastard step child' of your stories [i think that is an accurate way to put how this wasn't initially as important to you as IS and M&J] This has really turned into something special. Congrats on almost finishing it and on what a wonderful job you did with the boys. Andy

Feel free to go back and re-read it again when you aren't so anxious. Seriously, thank you for your comments. I am glad you enjoyed it, and I don't know about farewell. Hopefully I'll entice you with something else in the near future. Andy

Cia, Lugh, Sara, Anyta, Sorry for the mass response - well things didn't really improve much. The issue is she has no insurance and the likelihood of getting any decent coverage at 14 weeks is slim. After I wrote the blog, Mike and I did some checking - turns out there are restrictions on Surrogates using MediCal insurance - Calif has a big surrogate industry because of the favorable laws. When we read the part that said surrogates can not apply, we started searching. Found a couple articles that said, DO NOT apply in big letters. If California finds out they prosecute and seek jail time. So then I started to think, let me see, it's not legal, the surrogates rights won't be terminated and we'd be screwed trying to enforce the contract because we were breaking the law in the first place. Yeah, bad idea. I see extortion as one real possibility - i.e. Surrogate to Andy and Mike, I don't think 20K was enough, I think I'll need another 10K [because she'll have spent most of what we give her by then] Yeah, not gonna happen I called the Attorney yesterday and reminded her I am a prosecutor and that breaking the law is NOT an option. I also told her that if I were her, and I am not, I would not tell folks to use MediCal again because the first one that gets caught is gonna point the finger at her. Anyway, so my attorney is compiling options and we were able to get the fertility clinic to see the surrogate one last time - for an additional fee of course. Hopefully by the end of the week all will be settled but no matter what happens, we are going to be out somewhere from 3-12K or more because of this.

HC, Okay so that tied things up pretty nicely, all the random bits of information, why Aenhol brought Javier, Phillip and Marcus together. Madame Rooste - that was a bit obvious, but hey, you had to give us something right? I'd have to go back and re-read it but I am all but certain Phillip was not from the city, thus fulfilling the prophecy. Now the question is how does he stop the obelisks from exploding. Hmm maybe the prophecy isn't over just yet All in all a great chapter. Andy

Dark, Love the comic - the art work is really very good. Lucky you to have friends who a) read your work and are creative enough to do that for you. Okay, so as I said, I am a bit behind but since I told myself I was going to finish one story at a time until I catch up - this is next on my list Am up to chapter 5 -yeah I am WAY behind. See my review for most comments, but I figured I could make one here and ask a follow up: Comment - I have been accused by a certain beta reader who shall remain nameless [and blameless because she is right ] of kill the flow/pacing of a story I am working on with long blocks of Narration. You did that in this chapter with the background on Magistrates, Justiculars, City Watch, Monks, kids coming and leaving and coming back to Waylon's crossing. AND while it is informative, it was a bit much in one lump. So while the information might be needed, maybe break it up a bit? Perhaps put the bit about the Monks and how they went forth and brought back BEFORE Duncan shows up. Then after a bit of interaction between Duncan and Bryce, the part about Magistrate? IDK just a suggestion. So what does Aure get from sex? I mean we see how happy Bryce is but what does an air elemental get from it? Oh and I probably needed to ask this last chapter but I was busy, is an Earth Elemental more powerful than an Air one? And how does one kill an air elemental?? Okay hopefully get caught up today. If so you will be hearing from me a lot LOL Andy

Interrogations? Those seemed more like the 'Love Doctor' was taking a poll or something. And while Kynan didn't seem to enjoy his treatment, Bryce looked way too happy to be in lock up. Question: Is Kynan a self center asshole or does he just not really understand the severity of his situation? Why on Earth [or borderlands] would he involve poor Alan in this? I mean what is one lone kid - even in werewolf form - gonna do to get him out of the Dark Princess's dungeon? Seems like he is setting Alan up to be captured AND tortured in a most horrible way before he dies. Question 2: How does Aure climax? I mean I get how good it feels to Bryce, but what's in it for Aure??? [Okay so I have prurient interests sue me ] Andy

Sequels? Many? :blink: Well I am not sure there is a sequel in the works, companion story or two, perhaps. but the next two projects will not be Second Shot related. Not to worry, I still see these characters now and then, despite trying to focus on other stuff so there will be another story focused on the boys of Graydon Just not saying which one. Thanks for reading and for the review - sorry I was so slow getting back to you - been a bad week LOL. Andy

So today started out like crap, seemed to get better then ended like a ginormous turd. First I got written up at work - first time in 20 years - guess I shouldn't be too upset. While yelling at my supervisor in court with the judge on the bench is wrong and I guess I deserved to be written up for it, her being completely incompetent and screwing up my case - I ended up losing btw - seemed perfectly reasonable to me. The big boss did some checking - thankfully she IS competent [she didn't hire my immediate supervisor but was saddled with her when she got the job] and realized that I was mostly right. But even if I am right she told me I couldn't do it in court. Hold out your hand, smack - letter doesn't go in your personal file - Union Rep went with me, didn't say a word, drama over. Whew, not so bad. So then my Burglary trial that was looking like it was going down in flames got an enormous boost when evidence we couldn't find was found and all the pieces were/are falling into place WOO HOO. Bad day turning good. SO then the baby momma drama begins. As part of the contract with the surrogate, we are obligated to purchase her health insurance - she doesn't have any. In February we sent her the money for the application for the State Insurance for Pregnant woman. She didn't make the application for a month, then didn't do it right and finally last week got all the pieces into place and the state was reviewing her application. She was turned down. Turns out, she applied for the wrong insurance. When we started the process with her, she made X amount of money at her job. That was enough to qualify for the insurance. CA has two types of insurance for uninsured pregnant woman - the one for middle income woman and then the no cost insurance for those of limited means. We never wanted her to be on the low income insurance, it was not nearly as good. But the other one was pretty good. It wasn't free but it wasn't terribly expensive. Prior to her pregnancy, we could have gotten her a blue cross/blue shield policy, paid the premiums and for a year and been set. But that was a lot more money so the plan was to use the middle income policy and give her the extra every month. We talked it over and that was the plan. But the caveat is you had to wait until you were pregnant to apply - making it far too expensive to get a reg insurance policy at that point. Sadly, unknown to us until she was already pregnant, she hasn't paid her taxes in two years. As a result she has her new employer paying her in cash under the table. Her reported income didn't meet the threshold number and she was rejected and told to sign up for the low income policy. Okay so now comes the problem. To get the policy, she has to list the dad - me. IF we get a pre birth order - the one that terminates her parental rights prior to birth, there is a decent chance the State of CA will come after us for the cost of her medical care. So now the options are - 1) Not terminate rights until after the birth and hope there are no issues oh and then have to do a second party adoption for with Mike. or 2) go ahead with the termination order and hope we don't get hit with a huge bill. Neither are good options. The only reason we did this in CA was for the pre birth termination of her rights AND that the birth cert would list Mike and I as parents - neither listed as the Dad etc AND it would keep her name off the certificate. Otherwise we could have done this right here in Maryland. Doing it the other way could put us on the hook for $20K in medical bills or more. There is also the chance, though I think it is exceedingly remote, they could charge us with fraud. But since we would not be signing the documents they would have a difficult time proving we committed fraud. But even the need to defend against that would be expensive. Leaving us between the proverbial Rock and Hard on, all because she didn't tell us about her desperate bit to defraud the government. We are also without any good remedies. I mean how do you express your anger at her? The biggest reason we are so pissed is she isn't getting any medical care at the moment. So bitching about it and making her pay for it because she wasn't honest with us would do what? Make her forgo seeing the doctor to avoid paying for it? Oh yeah that's an option. And unlike other contracts, this really isn't one we can 'void.' forget how much we've paid, the baby is alive. We can't 'cancel' that. This doesn't even fall into the oh well, live and learn category - it's well beyond that. Mike is extremely upset because it had always been our intention that the birth cert would list us both. Now it won't. He is so mad at her he wants nothing to do with her anymore. He feels because of her, he is getting written out and she is being written in. He's not all wrong, but to me it doesn't matter so much. But it does to him and him not being the donor, I suppose it's a legitimate feeling. Gonna be a rough next few months.

The exchange between Alan and Bryce was kinda fun. They both seem like juveniles even though only one of them is still that young. My only gripe - and this is not really a complain more me whining - is your taking your time, introducing different characters in each chapter but not returning us to Kynan's story. Now I know that you are getting there, and that I am just reading too slow but still. Interesting - when the Aure followed the trail, I was sure it would lead to Kynan, didn't expect it would be the Prince Torturing someone else. One question - Aure said something about Xeran being banished and his being worried Xeran might make a move against his sister - but in the first chapter it seemed he was not so much banished from the court as on the outs with the queen but she knew he was there. Maybe, I got it wrong. Guess I need to read more -

Sara, you musta snuck this in when I was responding to everyone else. I agree with the posting a chapter at a time. I think the feedback is better - no offense to those who wait and comment chapter by chapter - but it seems that when folks only have to write ONE review or post one forum comment, they spend a bit more time. That allows for a bit of back and forth. But as James said, it would be rare for me to change anything significant in the plot based on feed back, tough I might look at some things a bit closer to be sure I wasn't 'doing it again' so to speak. Andy

Cia, I used to just read stuff as it was there, but then some of the stories I was reading just never got finished and the authors seem either gone or not willing to continue them. So I am starting to fall into the - wait until posted to read category. But then then there are authors who I know will finish stuff so I get sucked in. I was just getting a feel for whether to start, but not have it on a set schedule, or just wait til it is done. Thanks for the response - I agree - if I knew for sure the person would post, I would read it as posted, but then even the best sometimes get stuck or life interrupts. But you make a good point, regularity is a must. No fair, you know what I'm talking about James, thanks - agreed, I never changed Second Shot the plot of second shot based on feed back, it was written for the most part. Some of the feed back I received was along the lines of detail or character development etc. That I tried to incorporate where possible. But I agree with you - I don't think I could start a story, get feedback and then change it as I went along. Thanks all of you. Andy

In reading things from various readers/authors it seems many - though by no means most - readers prefer a story to be finished before they start to read. As an author, the idea of getting feed back chapter to chapter is helpful, especially if it contributes to me - the author - learning from it or getting a sense of how folks are seeing/reading the story. Then again, there was a constant street of post faster - something I know I am guilty of posting as well. So with that as a background - speaking hypothetically of course - suppose an author was working on a story but had not finished it, would potential readers want to read it piece meal - chapter to chapter with potentially long stretches of time between chapters or is it better to wait until the story is finished or at least mostly finished, before beginning to post? Hypothetically of course Thanks Andy

1) Peter and Jason have kids??? Haha. It was a thought to do something about their future AFTER school etc, I just hadn't visualized it. As for Jordan - well after the short story on the trial, we can discuss what his future might look like. I would suggest that IF he is found guilty - he won't be getting out of prison in time to redeem himself. Ethan or Blake, or Ethan AND Blake would be my choices for a companion. 2) This is an interesting comment - Thank you for that suggestion, IT makes a lot of sense. In some ways these chapters were a bit of a break from the main story - and also were meant to be a bridge between things - i.e. when J & P were apart for the summer etc. The idea originally was to introduce Ethan and it sort of morphed from there. Thank you again. I will keep a closer eye in the future to try to not do this. 3) Agreed - this was something of a teaser for what is to come. I suppose it was a bit too cutesy on my part - I really did NOT want to do a 20 years from now, where are they chapter. Partly because I don't know what I think happens to Peter and Jason. The rest it is easy to see - they weren't as important and didn't have as much 'history' in the story so it was easier to just create something - for example, it would be easy to pair Darryl with someone we've never met because we aren't invested in his last girlfriend. Or for Dean to get married, or Ethan to get hitched. So I never had a firm idea if the two are together in 20 years or not. But as I've said to others - another lesson learned. Nix the epilogue - unless it really is one. Thanks for the comments. Andy

You're welcome - but I enjoyed writing and posting so I thank you as well. One of the great things about posting on line like this is the comments and interaction I got with the people who were reading. Even the critical comments were good because I learned a LOT during the course of writing this. SO thank you for reading and for your comments along the way. -- Andy

Sorry I don't have any fancy pictures to put into this BUT how about a great big WOO HOO!!!!! Congrats Renee - over due and well deserved! Andy

Lurkers are fine, especially when they pop up and leave comments every now and then Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the comments, I tried to develop the characters - maybe too much at the expense of surroundings - so I am glad to hear folks tell me I did okay there And thank you for the congrats, it was something of a surprise but I was still rather pleased when they asked me. Andy

Damn, you're not supposed to read the ending first. But since you did, I am glad you will read contented

Lisa, Thanks for the comments, I guess I am a sucker for happy endings - a part of me wanted to end it where they did not make it, but then this just seemed a better way. Glad you enjoyed it. Andy

As reviews go that one was pretty good if you ask me - but then I guess I'm biased given the content LOL.Thanks Stu.

Sara,Yes, this was not a 'lookie what happened to the pair in the distant future' type thing. I think the point was well taken by some that this should have been called something else, next time I'll learn from that. I agree with you on not giving the two sentence summary of each character - either do a second story OR let folks see the future for themselves. Thanks for the note

Clay, Thanks for the note. I appreciate the support - I have a few thoughts on Jordan as well but I suppose I best hold those for the next story As for Jason and Peter, when I think about this I have some clear thoughts for Jason's future, Darryl's, Dean's, even Ethan. Peter is the most cloudy - to me at least. In my 'perfect world' they stay together have kids [self projecting perhaps?] and are successful. The cynical me sees them parting ways after college, staying friends but drifting apart. This is where Jason's future is so much clearer to me - either way - with or without Peter, I see Jason's future. I really only see Peter's if he is with Jason. OH well that is what fiction is for - to dream about how you would like things to be - right? Andy

Well I think of the end as 49. 50 is more of a preview to the short story that will wrap up the criminal assault issue. I seem to have stepped in it with chapter 50 - maybe I was trying to be a bit too cute - Sorry to you and the others who didn't like that.

Sorry to you too, Lesson learned - I think i said this in the very beginning but this is my first story to post on line, so I apologize for this last mistake. I suppose in my mind I see them as related [and something like the little blurb at the end of the Iron Man movies or Xman where they hint at what will be in the next movie] I do indeed plan to write the trial. Unlike the rest of the story, I found the preview chapter was very easy to write - but then, it is so much easier writing what you know than making it up as you go. I apologize again, and promise to learn from this. Andy

Speechless? Or so pissed you couldn't leave a comment? [or of course this is option three, it was an accident. ]

Thanks for the help Frosty - You are part of what made it so good