AFriendlyFace

Clementine in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's one of my favourite modern movie scenes. Take care, Kevin

You'll get it, Joe. Before I bought my last truck I had never even been behind the wheel of a stick, then I learned the same day and drove it 80 miles back home. As geeky as it sounds I dreamed about driving it that night, and by the next morning I'd pretty much nailed it. I've been dying to get behind the wheel of one of those and give it a go! Now that would weird me out! Good point, I've often been stuck in stop and go traffic on an incline and forced to balance the clutch perfectly to keep from going forward or backward. After awhile I'm always thinking "If I don't get off this hill/bridge/ramp/whatever soon my leg is going to fall off!" A good point! That's something automatic drivers need to keep in mind! Please give the vehicle in front of you a little room, ESPECIALLY if you're on an incline! Anyway, I don't really care too much either way. It is weird driving non-standard transmission vehicles now though. I'm always going for the imaginary clutch. I'm sure I'd happily fall back into the routine though. One perk of driving a standard, Joe, if you're riding with a cute boy and you draw his attention to your hand (say by drumming your fingers) you can flirt delightfully dirty without saying a word and you can even act completely innocent while doing it Happy Learning! -Kevin

I was going to suggest this one as well. Excellent advice! My other bit of advice would be to get him a selection of varying sized dildos, from very small, to about your size, and let him "practice" on his own at his own pace when he could relax more and not feel pressured to perform. If you do this remember BASIC toys, nothing too fancy, oddly shaped, or intimidating

Well that was beautiful, Demetz I think that's just the sort of letter that will not only help you to move on, but also help Dwayne to feel better as well, and I commend you for writing it all the best, Kevin

Menzo summed up my thoughts about this nicely. My reasoning is also strongly based on Graeme's thoughts.

Haha! Very amusing! I noticed that too -Kevin (the non-picky vegetarian)

My thoughts and attitude is very similar to yours, Menzo. However, I can almost certainly say that ultimately it would be a no because... Exactly! I think that's a very good attitude! There's a very big difference here IMO. I think this risk, if taken with safe sex measures, would definitely be tolerable. Anyway, I hate to say that I wouldn't because I think that's a bad attitude (assuming safe sex practices), but I wouldn't. Take care everyone and have a great day! Kevin

Not to be snippy, but I think it's about time. Good for her though

I completely agree with you Jamie, and apart from the differences in our writing styles I could practically have written the same thing about myself I had a friend with whom I frequently fell into that pattern of asking him what he was thinking or what he thought about something I'd just said, and his response was always along the lines of "I don't know" or else some rhetorical trick he'd attempt to use to please me. Another big thing is the ways males and females attempt to comfort/console someone. After my two best friends moved away I was whining about how much I was going to miss them, and how much it sucked that they'd moved, etc. All he kept doing was saying, "well you can still call them, or get on facebook, or email them..." and I'd say, "Yeah, I know, but it still sucks that they've moved away." "Well, like I said you can do X, Y, Z to stay in contact, that's really all I can suggest." But really I knew all that already! Those ideas had already occurred to me, but they did nothing to change how I felt about the situation, and further I wasn't expecting him to come up with some brilliant solution, I was just looking for a hug and a little sympathy and emotional reassurance. Guys in general tend to be very solution oriented when there's a problem, whereas girls tend to offer the emotional support. Both are nice, and if you have an idea that might help I want to hear it! But after/during that I'd like the cuddling too My friend and I eventually parted ways, and while there were some other more concrete issues on the surface, we both agreed that fundamentally we communicated and interacted differently. It's interesting to think that what it came down to fundamentally is something that the majority of couples have had to deal with since the beginning of time. I won't even speculate on whether or not I think it's "Nature" or "Nurture", as with all such questions I think the only correct answer is obviously, a combination of both. However, I would personally prefer to regard all such matters as the result of nurture/society. So while I readily admit that such things are generally a mix of both, my bias is always toward assuming it's some form of social conditioning over genetics/biology. Undoubtedly this is because I have a very strong preference toward social/psychological matters, whereas biology/science - while I understand them just fine - bore me and turn generally "turn me off". Anyway thanks for giving us something interesting to consider! Have an awesome day and take care -Kevin

Yes, I found out recently that a friend of mine has HIV.

WOOO HOOO! Well done, Joe! Sounds like things are working out Take care -Kevin

Awwww Thanks everyone!!!! -Kevin

Hey everyone! I've still got a buncha stuff I need to take care of, but I really wanted to blog about something (and respond to several of the other blogs) so I've decided that I'll just try to relegate myself exclusively to the blogs for the next couple weeks. Anyway... I think the trouble with being a gay male is that often your friends will also be a gay males, and unfortunately that combo "pairs up". Basically, while I think dating a friend can often work really well, in general I try to avoid doing those sorts of things - unless I intend to give it a shot from the very beginning - because it just seems like an easy way to wreck a friendship. For example last year I met this nice guy and we became friends and started hanging out then... WHAM! He suddenly started treating me like his boyfriend (without even consulting me first ), and then things just got really awkward and while we parted on good terms we didn't talk or see each other at all for about two months (now we're friends again and everything is fine ). Anyway, if you guessed that this isn't some sort of random pondering, you are correct. See, basically since all the drama with Andrew and "former friend" I've been spending a great deal of time with with a different friend. He's really been awesome during all of this and we've been having a lot of fun. Anyway, people have started mistaking us for boyfriends, and I guess it was something that had crossed both of our minds. Well last night we were hanging out shopping/bar hopping in a really fun part of town. Anyway we left a shop where yet another cashier seemed to be under the impression that we were together - no big deal right? I mean it happens all the time. Well, this time as we were walking down the sidewalk he said "you know it would be perfect if we were in a relationship since everyone thinks we are anyway". Then we just sorta had an awkward conversation about it. Fortunately though, we ran into this girl we know from church (who also thinks we're together, lol), and chatting with her for awhile effectively changed the conversation. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he'd like to give dating a chance, but I...well I don't think I want to. It's ironic because when we first met I was interested, then we just sort of got in the "friend zone". He's adorable and wonderful, but I just think it would be a bad idea. For one thing I think I would be devastated if it didn't work and we broke up. I mean I've lost so many people I was close to for one reason or another over the last 5 months that I just don't know if I could handle losing him too. Plus, while I think it could be good for awhile I just don't think it would would work out in the forever sense. Apart from all that...I just don't really know what I want in general right now. I mean I keep thinking I just want a nice break from guys, then the more I think about it the more I think what I really want is a couple of casual, carefree, non-serious relationships. Perhaps that sounds bad, but I'm just...drained emotionally when it comes to stuff like this and I'd just like something fun in which we're not thinking about the future. Don't get me wrong, I do want to meet "Mr. Right", but honestly I think I want to meet a couple of "Mr. Right Now"s first. Anyway, any relationship I had with him would definitely not be casual or light, it would be intense and serious. Besides all that I just don't feel that kind of spark with him right now. So I don't know what to do. I guess it's possible that we can just go on like we've been doing, and maybe having had that conversation will sorta clear the air and it won't come up again. Really, I was surprised he brought it up at all because by his own admission he usually doesn't initiate things like that. I guess I even sort of felt like it wasn't something I needed to worry about because it wouldn't happen unless I made it happen...but just saying that makes me feel guilty. I mean that's a pretty selfish attitude. *sigh* This is undoubtedly why many of my best friends have been lesbians. Simply because there's always the possibility (in someone's mind) of something more with gay boys/gay boys or gay boys/straight girls or, I suppose, even gay boys/straight boys - although thankfully I rarely crush on straight guys and have never had a full blown "I think I'm in love with him" moment. Anyway, I've got to go get ready for a Christmas party we're attending together.

Hey everyone, I'll be away until at least after the New Year because I have some personal matters to take care of. Anyway, I'll miss you all, and no one worry about me, I'm fine and shall continue to be. In the mean time I love ya all and I'm wishing you the best! Take care everyone and happy holidays! -Kevin

Congrats CJ!!!

Thanks Vic In other news, I've got some things I need to take care of and I'm going to be away from GA completely until after the New Year. I hope you guys all have a wonderful Christmas, and good luck with everything going on in your lives! Love ya all -Kevin

So since Conner proclaimed me The Biggest Drama Queen he's met, when can i come over and watch buffy??? *Hugs* Hang in there Kevin, your heart is made of pure gold, i just wish their were more guys like you in this world!!! But anywho, are we feeling hangoverish yet? you did said some wonderful things last night, i'm sure you won't remember *Giggles* -Mike LOL! You can come over whenever you're ready, Mike! Just catch the next plan lol And aww, thanks for the sweet words! Nope, no hangover at all. I'm completely immune to those At worse (and it's almost a plus since it never happens to me otherwise) I wake up early and don't want to go back to sleep. Take care and have an awesome day (well actually I'm talking to ya on MSN anyway ) -Kevin

Hey Gabe Well, I really think I'm done with FF, much to the chagrin of good friend since the three of us used to be pretty tight It was his decision and I said if he ever wanted to work it out he could look me up. I'm not sure if I still feel that way though. After all this, and the more I think about it, I just don't think what he did to me was fair, even if his intentions weren't to hurt me. He was a good friend, but the more I think about the more I realize that perhaps he was right: our relationship did have several other fundamental flaws, and apart from that I just don't think I could trust him again. Admittedly right now I'm just pissed, but I think even when I'm not anymore - and I will get over it - I'll still feel the same way intellectually. As for Andrew...I don't know why but I just can't be mad at him. Possibly because he's so sweet and guileless. I'm a little hurt and disappointed that he didn't tell me, but at the same time for his sake I really do hope things work out for them, and I definitely still wish him the best. It just couldn't work out between us right now, but in two or three years I'd be happy to try again if we still know each other, are both available, and a few things have changed. The only reason I wouldn't still be his friend, because I do still care about him and trust him, is because of FF (who most definitely hurt me worse in all of this). I just think it would be weird trying to have a meaningful friendship with him while he's dating FF. It's weird, I still care about FF and wish him the best too, and I have no doubt that he wasn't trying to hurt me, nor can I possibly deny what a good friend he was and all the things he did for me. But it really is over as far as I'm concerned... LOL, well I did my own equivalent. I took it easy and treated myself to several things I enjoy Thanks for the kind comment and advice -Kevin

And it really shouldn't bother me...but it sorta does. So you guys remember when I wrote about how I broke up with the ex-boyfriend right after my, then close friend, "broke up" with me because he couldn't handle the fact that I was with the ex-boyfriend because he wanted him too? Well now they're dating! I hadn't seen either of them since the respective break ups, but I'd continued talking on the phone periodically and texting with the ex. Anyway yesterday I went to a gay social function and the former friend was there. No big deal, I pretty much figured he would be, and really it was more his "turf" than mine anyway, in that he's been attending it regularly for much much longer than me. However, it's a public event, a different friend wanted me to go, and I wanted to go, so I figured "screw it, we can practice that whole 'being civil to each other' thing we agreed on". So I was actually having a really fun time, I was sitting at this round table eating with 6 other guys around our age, most of whom were mutual friends of both of us, and apart from my good friend that had talked me into going I hadn't seen any of them for several weeks. SO we were all laughing and talking and having a really good time, and me and former friend were doing pretty good. I mean neither one of us was being rude or sulky, we were both freely interjecting into the conversation and even talking to each other where necessary. Well finally someone makes a remark about Catholics (a neutral remark, not insulting or supportive. Can't even remember what it was) and then jokingly adds, "but of course you, wouldn't feel that" to former friend (who is an atheist). So FF responds, "oh come on, I don't have a problem with them. I am dating Andrew after all" (Andrew is the ex and a Catholic). So yeah, that's how I found out. And of course being in a big group of people I had to act unphased by it. But good friend just changed the subject and we went on with things. I just felt...AHHHH. I mean first of all I was just surprised, then a bit angry, then hurt, then I just felt like a fool because I didn't know. So afterward I asked good friend why he didn't tell me, and he said that he only found out last week and that he really felt like it wasn't his place. So yeah, I can see that, and granted it probably wasn't a conversation he particularly wanted to have with me. So I wasn't really mad/hurt that he didn't tell me, and obviously since FF and I have cut all contact he couldn't tell me. No, it's Andrew that needed to tell me, and it's stupid because, YES, it does bother me a little bit, I can't help that, but overall I see that it's really none of my business. It's just that if we're trying to be "friends" I think he needed to tell me. Anyway, apart from the surprise and the hurt that he didn't tell me (and the embarrassment of feeling like the last to know in front of everyone), I guess I really shouldn't care. I mean it really isn't any of my business anymore. Plus, I really could have had Andrew back if I'd wanted to, and in fact I'd even encouraged him to go ahead and talk to FF because I do still care about him, and yes, FF is a good listener and I really thought it would make him feel better (oh look I was right). And the first time he was going to see him after our drama he even said "I won't see him if you don't want me to", so I can't fault him for seeing him, and I'm not an idiot, I realized that this might easily happen. It's just that I didn't know it had.

Awww thanks you guys!!

LOL, it should be noted that for the last couple of days I don't even think I've made it into the top 10

LOL I guess it depends on how it's done. I mean perhaps your friend just went through some painful experience, it might be nice to throw an arm around them and say, "Don't worry, there's always a last time for everything!".

I thought this over too, and came to the conclusion that the question could also be implicitly assuming that a bisexual would rather date another bisexual. Which would be a somewhat reasonable conclusion IMO. It might also be wondering if the bisexual prefers to date straight women, lesbians, or straight men (the last if the bisexual in question is a woman, and the first if the bisexual is a man). -Kevin

You weren't harsh, Ieshwar, I was just sorry that it seemed like I'd hurt your feelings. Well at least it wouldn't be a long-distance relationship -Kevin