AFriendlyFace

I very much agree with your hopes regarding true love, Greg. Personally I can't imagine why those things should make a difference either. As for the stereotyping thing, well I started this thread in an attempt to sort of give bisexuality some good press and maybe give people some new things to talk about. I hope that that hasn't instead turned into something negative Aww thanks, Liddy! And I agree, with you, I'm pretty open minded, but actually I consider myself very decisive. Well, I definitely think that this is a very complicated issue. It's a bit easier for this generation, but in the past there was so much societal/familial pressure on gay guys to hide it and just marry and try to fit themselves into cookie cutter straight people that, while I think it's very unfortunate and sad, I can't really condemn them for it. Of course I understand that things are even more difficult in your neck of the woods In any case I applaud heartily for your courage and integrity, Ieshwar! Well said, Jeff! I'm sorry for you plight, Tarin Unfortunately to be honest I didn't hold out much hope that a random sampling of the gay community (even one taken from GA) would be any more accepting of bisexuality. In fact if anything I've been pleasantly surprised. Gee Robbie, tell us what you think Actually though, please do lay off calling members of our community pricks Let's keep this civil. **puts on his rose-coloured glasses** Actually though, I do want to point out that the results of this poll really aren't so bad in terms of acceptance of bisexuality. Currently we have 17 "yeses" and only 6 "no's". That means that nearly 3x as many members of our community wouldn't have a problem dating a bisexual as would. Additionally, those in the minority haven't expressed a dislike or non-acceptance of bisexual people. Most have simply said that they personally wouldn't want to date them. Several have even implied that they would readily befriend them, or even have non-serious flings with them. So I really don't think the prognosis is all that bad, indeed it is more promising in terms of acceptance than I had anticipated. I don't see why we can't respect that some people simply don't want to have a serious relationship with bisexuals. Indeed, while several here have expressed fear or outrage that they won't be able to find a mate because of this type of "biphobia", they should actually be heartened in the knowledge that approximately 3/4ths of the gay population would NOT rule them out. I also assume that an even higher percentage of bisexuals would accept their bisexual peers (and look at the surprisingly high number of individuals in this thread who don't consider themselves straight up gay or straight!). As for straight people...well I would guess that the willingness to date level would be a bit lower, but I'm sure some would be fine with it. So take heart my bisexual/questioning/non-label identifying friends! -Kevin (who considers himself "gay" for the record)

No, No, Vic! It's Joe who makes us do things! I'm completely innocent What vivid imagery! Interesting comments you guys!

Speed bumps are stupid!

Sounds rough, but it also sounds like you're doing much better! I'm proud of you, Demetz! All the best, Kevin

Hey! Who you callin' a queen?! LOL and a porter queen no less! Hmm, someone must have told him I was about to go help a friend move his stuff. I'd hardly call myself a porter though! You hear that, Beasty? We're just going to have to wait a couple more days to give him his title! You do realize this means you'll be stuck hauling all the stuff any time there's a GA get together don't you?

Hi everyone, Well, considering the other two polls it seemed only natural to make this one too. Actually, this one has the most relevance to me personally. My last boyfriend was in the closet and that's the number one reason it didn't work out. The whole thing really confused me. Basically I thought I was being really patient and not pressuring him at all, but apparently the stress, and the dishonesty he felt as a result were too much. I guess the biggest problems were that we couldn't go out in public (at least not in his area) because he was worried people would see, and I couldn't go to his house because his parents didn't know. Actually I know alot of that was my fault... I was kinda reluctant to meet his family and pretend to be a "friend" because I'm just not comfortable lying to people's families about something like that. I guess I would have if we'd kept dating and he'd really wanted me too *shrug* Anyway, as a result I've really been debating whether or not I should just stay away from closeted people altogether (romantically). The main thing was his feelings about it not mine. Apart from the meeting his family thing (which I may have adjusted to), I think I'd have been fine, but I really don't see anything else I could have done to make him feel better about it. I guess it really depends on how you define "closeted", I mean there's quite a few levels. For example I'm out to everyone in the city I live in now, and I'm also out to my mom and a few other good friends from my past, but quite a few old friends and several family members don't know. I don't really see that as a problem, because it has absolutely no effect whatsoever on my day to day life. Anyway obviously I'd be fine dating someone in a similar situation. I guess the determining factor would be whether or not he would be comfortable acting normally in public. Anyway, I really can't make up my mind about this, I keep going back and fourth between all 4 of the options in the poll lol. So I think I'll think about it awhile longer before I decide. What do you guys think about this? -Kevin

That's awesome! I don't think I'm quite that way...in fact actually I'm a bit picky, but I definitely think that when you're in love stuff like gender, race, background, etc. shouldn't matter. Of course I realize that that's just a romantic ideal and difficult to put into practice in everyday life. Exactly! I quite agree here too! Aww I'm sorry Demetz If it's not too intrusive, what about the fact that she is a lesbian (and not also bisexual), doesn't that present a problem? LOL, it's ashame gay guys and lesbians can't date. Some of my best (platonic) relationships have been with lesbians. Good Luck! -Kevin

But Chase isn't shy? Granted the public might not know that, but somehow I doubt he has a shy image. Wow! That's quite a good idea! I mean it seems like it might be likely to me! Hmm, I think perhaps I should re-read the prologue. I'm usually pretty good at remembering details, but I think I've forgotten most of it. Um, what outbreak? Everything okay? Take care all and have a great day! -Kevin

What if you say something funny and they simply respond, "LOL"?

Sorry, I cross-posted with Vic Well, from that perspective it certainly makes sense. I just wouldn't want to be with someone I felt like I had to "keep an eye on" anyway, so I don't think I would be concerned by how many people he was attracted to. Hmm, so does that mean you think that it's equally as much trouble for a woman to date a bi-guy? Do you think one day he's going to want to scratch the homo itch? Is he truly happy? Is he truly complete? If you think the answers to the questions are: yes, yes, no, and no respectively then I personally disagree with you (to me this would be no different than asking if he's unhappy because he can't sleep with other guys), but I think that's fair and I can definitely see your point. If however, you think that's it's only when the bi-guy is in a gay relationship that these problems exist then I definitely think that's a cruddy double standard and implies that gay relationships are some how less satisfying and fulfilling than straight ones Amen to that! Take care everyone and have a great day! -Kevin

I definitely agree with everything you said, Menzo, and I think your observations are probably correct. I think that a great deal of bisexual people choose to have a long-term relationship with one or the other gender out of ease/convenience. I guess what I'm getting at for example is hypothetically if your friend with benefits situation had had the potential to turn into something more serious would you have let it? Once the bisexual person makes the decision to be in the serious relationship I wouldn't hold the bisexuality against them. I agree with you that often they simply don't make that decision at all with regards to one of the genders. Anyway, I admit that I'm "bi-curious" myself. I don't consider myself bisexual by my definition, but under some people's I am. Would I enter a serious relationship with a woman? Hypothetically of course I would! I would consider it very hypocritical not to. In practical terms though I think it would probably be very unwise for me to do that since my attraction to women is usually transitory and of a less intense nature than it is with guys. So I probably won't "date" a woman. Way go go, Benji!! Good for you! -Kevin

I shall be eternally sorry (well hopefully a slight exaggeration), that I missed the recent Three Days Grace, Seether, and Breaking Benjamin concert that came to Houston I quite like Breaking Benjamin, I love Seether, and Three Days Grace may be my favourite band right now That is a nifty song, btw! LOL, same thing right now: "Until the End" - Breaking Benjamin

Congrats, dude!

Well that sounds really cool!

Happy birthday, dude! Have a good one -Kevin

Hmmmm, Complicated stuff this. I can definitely see Jason and Vic's P.O.V ( sorry Vic ), but I do think I'm more inclined to agree with Graeme. I think the important thing is about being true to the expectations of the relationship. For me I define my romantic relationships as completely exclusive sexually. So if my S.O. is sexually physical with someone else, I don't care at all about his reasons, or the intellectual/emotional nature of their transgression, he violated my expectations. I also don't care to what extent he is emotionally or intellectually "involved" with someone else insofar as it doesn't lead him to be sexually physical with them AND it doesn't interfere with our own ability to interact in a satisfying emotional and intellectual way. I readily acknowledge that being deeply involved with someone on an intellectual and emotional way can easily lead to a physical transgression, but to me relationships are about trust so I would trust him not to allow that step to take place. If he did, then he did and it's probably over between us precisely because I would lose that trust and then wouldn't be comfortable with him being emotionally/intellectually close with people, and that would be unsatisfactory to me. I would not be willing to sit around worrying "is he getting too close with that guy (or girl)?" So if he had transgressed I would no longer be able to trust that he would know the limit and therefore I don't think I could be with him anymore. The other side of the coin is that their intellectual or emotional relationship might remain sexless but interfere with our own interaction. Again I would see that as a problem with our relationship (and may or may not end it depending on the circumstances), but I wouldn't necessarily see that as the fault of his intellectual/emotional relationship with someone else. I wouldn't feel threatened by this other person unless he gave me a reason to be (I.E. he did physically cheat, or he no longer was emotionally and intellectually connected to me), unless he did give me that reason I'd be happy for him and the other person that they were able to have stimulating intellectual conversation with each other and cared for each other emotionally. But that's simply because the benchmark I use is "is/was there a physical relationship?". I readily admit that from an objective point of view that's pretty arbitrary. Conceivably I could just as easily be fine with him having all the sexual and emotional relationships he wants with other people as long as he saved the deeply intellectual stuff for me. OR maybe I'd be fine with him having all the sex he wants and being as intellectually involved as possible with other people, but if he saved the deeply emotional stuff for me that would be fine. I'm not. My standard, cut and dry, is the physical thing. I guess because that is what would make me feel threatened for some reason (probably social conditioning). I could also readily see an instance in which none of these things would make me feel threatened and I would then allow an "open relationship" with the trust and assumption that his relationship with me (and mine with him) would remain the primary one. Anyway, I think the key thing is that both parties are "on the same page" and then abide by whatever arrangement they've made. I agree, Robbie, in fact since I had so many thoughts on this, and since it sort of seems like a different (and important) topic, I'm going to just start a new thread for it! "Bisexuality"

Hi everyone, The following quotes are from the If your S.O. cheated thread, but I wanted to discuss bisexuality in more depth so I thought it would be good to create a new thread. I'm so sorry, James I agree that it's ridiculous for him to expect you not to be upset about that and to continue the relationship!! That's awful And what's wrong with bi's? *evil-eye* Hmmm, I'm definitely on Robbie's side in this one. Of course, Vic, you wouldn't want to commit to someone you thought might run off and be with a lady, but surely you wouldn't want to commit to someone who might run off and be with another man either? Over and over again, especially in the gay community, I find that there's a general distrust of bisexuals. People seem to think that just because someone is "bisexual" they have to be simultaneously involved in a sexual relationship with both sexes...or want/need to be! I personally find this to be a very distasteful and offensive attitude. Yes, a bisexual might leave his boyfriend to be with a woman, or he may leave his girlfriend to be with a man, but Lord knows: -gay guys leave their boyfriends to be with other guys -straight guys leave their girlfriends to be with other women -lesbians leave their girlfriends to be with other women -and straight girls leave their boyfriends to be with other men. It happens and it sucks big time However, I really don't think I bisexual is anymore likely to do it than anyone else. A bisexual is someone who is attracted to both genders, period. Well If you're attracted to guys and you enter into a serious, monogamous relationship with your boyfriend are you suddenly going to stop being attracted to other guys? I don't think so. The point is that you've decided not to sleep with any of them. Well if a bisexual enters a relationship he/she (should) make that same decision, and if they do any failure is simply human nature versus an inherent flaw with bisexuality, in my opinion. The prevailing attitude here (not here specifically, but society in general) seems to be that bisexuality doesn't really exist. That bisexuals simply haven't "worked it out" yet. That one day your bisexual boyfriend will wake up and say "whoaa, turns out I'm straight!". Well if that happens he wasn't bisexual to begin with, he was sexually confused and for whatever reason thought he had an enduring attraction to guys, and you specifically, when he didn't. It's just like the "bisexual" guys who get married to a woman thinking "I'll just ignore the gay side of myself and focus on my attraction to women". Well, if those guys eventually find that they ARE gay, then IMO, they weren't bisexual to begin with, they were just deluding themselves. Yes, a bisexual guy may choose to be with a woman in the first place because it's "easier" or he may eventually decide to leave his boyfriend and date a woman because again "it's easier", but again, IMO, that's about him, and the relationship, not about bisexuality. Frankly I don't want to be with a guy who's with me because he has to be. Because he's gay and can't date a woman. I don't want him thinking "well this is nice but it's ashame I'm not straight". I want him to be with me because he wants to be with me. Because he considers himself blessed (or "fortunate" if you like) to have found this relationship. If he'd rather date a woman in the first place, regardless of whether he's bi or gay, then I don't want to be with him plain and simple. If he can't be happy about his attraction to me and not want to change it or take an easier route, then I don't have time for him anyway. If he's attracted to me and committed to making the relationship work, then I don't care who else he's attracted to: he's with me. So what do you guys think about this topic? What are you opinions? Would you date a bisexual? Why or why not? Obviously I voted "yes". I don't want it to seem like I'm overly vocal about this and refuse to consider other opinions. I feel strongly about it, but actually I really really want to hear what other people think. Take care everyone, and have an awesome day! Kevin

And that you spray him with water hoses

Wow! That does sound like fun! Thanks for filling us in, CJ! I shall remember this! And wow! Streets of marble! That does sound like a sight worth seeing! I'm guessing this is one of the places where people aren't allowed to drive? LOL you sure do run slowly, Beasty! I can't wait to hear more about the trip, CJ! Sounds like it was definitely a blast -Kevin

**looks at blog index** Hmmm, still not there! LOL, he must have taken that same wrong turn I took when I ran off to write about my Thanksgiving in my blog earlier this week

I believe Joe has his own hag, only he calls her a 'friend' I agree, I love straight girls Lesbians are lotsa fun too! Some of us never outgrow the awkward and annoying ... I don't know if I was ever an "oaf". Anyway, there is a HUGE difference between "annoying and awkward" and "manipulative and controlling". I will grant you that SOME of CJ's (not the goat, well, maybe him too, but I have no authority to speak on that one) behaviour may be lain at the feet of inexperience with personal relationships, but you don't have to have any "experience" to be able to restrain yourself from sending dozens of unanswered text messages. Well said, If you can't take the hint after all that you mustn't have any experience at human relationships. I guess that may be harsh, but I've had a few guys come on way too strong too, and it's definitely a turn off *sigh* also very true. -Kevin

Amen to that!

haha, Love it! I'm semi-aquadextrous LOL, I'm much to big a germaphobe to disconfect! Been there here too LOL, based on the word and the "manhandling the..." I was sure it was going to include some breasts somewhere along the line This works quite good though! *sigh* when I was a waiter I sure wish we'd had a peppier. I hated doing that, it got to the point where I wanted to just snap and tell the diners "LOOK! Just use the stuff in the shaker and leave me alone!" oh dear, I'm afflicted with this myself! Does this work for babies/toddlers and cats as well? LOL, I don't suffer from this, but it always freaks me out if the phone rings and I'm right next to it. Good ones, dude! -Kevin

Don't forget Graeme's "iirc" which means "If I recall correctly" Also: "TMI" - Too much info, "TLC" - Tender love and care These aren't really internet exclusive, but they come up from time to time. "Gn" for Good Night" is pretty coming too, I occasionally see "GM" for "good morning" as well (only I seldom get up early enough to see it ). I could give you a ton of card related ones, but they probably won't be very relevant to the average user. Oh speaking of ones specific to communities/games, "RPG" - Role Playing Game, is probably common enough that it ought to be include. There are also a ton of gay specific ones, but since many of them get pretty graphic I won't include those, lol. -Kevin

Well I must say I'm surprised at how many people feel as I do and wouldn't differentiate between the two! I was for sure thinking that there were going to more "It would be much worse" and at least a few "It wouldn't be as bad" (based on the reasoning that Ieshwar and Graeme discussed). -Kevin