AFriendlyFace

Hmm, just a thought/comment, and probably one I have no business making, but if I've got the facts straight you've been in three serious relationships...all with very beautiful people. Now I don't doubt your assertion at all, but if physical looks were completely irrelevant to you chances are you wouldn't have just randomly ended up dating in the top 10% of physical beauty all three times. Well, relentless self-improvement has always been top of my list. AWWWW No, I think he's right. Not "gay people", gay MEN. I think lesbians are the least superficial group. To me it's lesbians, straight women, straight men, gay men, in ascending order of average shallowness. It seems that we're all in agreement about the fact that men are more superficial (on average) than women (at least in terms of the physical appearance of whom they date). I think the average gay guy is more superficial than the average straight guy. I think this is because people sort of "rub off" on each other. When straight guys date, settle down, etc. they're around their woman (who's probably less superficial), and probably also other less superficial couples, etc. So over time I think they get socialized to accept that their partner doesn't have to be perfect. Gay guys on the other hand or more in a continuing cycle of meeting other superficial guys, competing with them in terms of looks (and thus raising their own criteria in the process), and are generally socialized over time to become more superficial. There's also a self-fulfilling prophesy going on here. Other people think they're naturally going to be superficial, THEY think they're naturally going to be superficial, so guess what, over time they become more superficial. There's also the issue of insecurity. Ugly/average straight guys can date beautiful women. They just can, it happens. Gay guys have this idea in their head that they can't date really gorgeous guys unless they are really gorgeous themselves. And what happens if gay Joe-average dates super-model Dirk? Joe-average screws things up with his paranoia, jealousy, and insecurity and super-model Dirk does leave him, often for super-model Troy (who knows he's gorgeous and isn't as clingy, paranoid, and insecure about that area as Joe-average). Anyway, I think a lot of factors go into making gay guys more superficial than straight guys. But don't get me wrong, overall I'd rather be with someone who had the typical gay guy package of characteristics than the typical straight guy package of characteristics. Sure the superficial part sucks, but I also believe that on average gay guys are more sensitive, wittier, supportive, caring, affectionate, and while I'll probably get in trouble for saying this, more intelligent, better cultured, and (here's the superficial part) more attractive! Now I'm just saying this is generally and overall for the average population at large. There are undoubtedly tons of individuals and relationships which are completely opposite of everything I've just described. I'm also by no means dissing any of you, myself, or the gay community (I'm crazy about all three of classes of people!! ). I also believe strongly in people having control over their own behaviour and destinies. If I don't want to be superficial, I think that's something I can do if I put my mind to it. Same for all of you. Oh yeah, and by the way. Personally I think the average American woman is much more attractive than the average American man. I think the average woman doesn't let herself go quite as much as the average man, and actually most of the features I find most attractive in people are more likely to occur naturally in women than in men (like not being hairy, and having smaller frames - both height and weight, and there are others). Anyway if I absolutely had to I'd probably rather sexually be with a typical American woman than a typical American man. However, while I suppose I'm slightly bisexual, I'm not particularly attracted to women and I don't have very much sexual desire for them (they're just less gross than the average guy ). SO automatically I pretty much realize and accept that the only guys I'm going to be at all interested in having a physical relationship with ARE going to be (what I perceive) as more attractive than the average guy. Fortunately for me gay guys tend to take much better care of themselves than straight guys Indeed, that's why I've always found it funny that there's this illusion that gay guys want to get with straight guys. For one thing I think any semi-intelligent gay guy wouldn't want to open that can of worms in the first place, and for another thing, personally, I think members of our own community (typically) have more to offer physically and emotionally than the average straight guy. Don't get me wrong, some straight guys are incredibly hot, and I've known quite a few really hot ones that I also thought were really awesome people, sweet, caring, intelligent, fun to be around etc. Overall though I'd rather stick with other gay guys. As for friendships, I really don't think I have any physical, racial, age, sex, orientation, religious, or cultural biases. I'm completely open-minded about who I develop close friendships with, and indeed I've hit almost every demographic that's even slightly prevalent here in my area. I certainly DON'T consider myself superficial in general. Indeed I almost unconditionally accept everyone as long as they're decent people. It just doesn't mean I necessarily want to spend the rest of my life sharing intimate things with them. I also agree that people can form romantic relationships in spite of physical disinterest. I could even imagine myself doing it. Indeed I've often considered pursuing relationships with people who pretty much measured up in the other ways, but weren't physically my "type". Then I remind myself that it's okay to let physical characteristics be a requirement in the same way that I've often disqualified really hot guys who were jerks, stupid, lacked a sense of humour, or had some other major intellectual/personality flaw. And so I here I sit, waiting for Mr. Perfect to walk in. I do realize that my standards are WAY too high, that it's unlikely I'll find someone who meets them, that I'm way too picky, and that I should definitely just learn to compromise...but I also realize that I've got some issues in this area that I need to work out, and I will work them out, and I will reach a happy medium and live happily ever after...eventually Just my candid, but probably slightly insulting and superficial thoughts, take care all and have an awesome day! Kevin

While I definitely agree with your reasoning, I do feel compelled to warn that you shouldn't pull your eye lids down (or rub your eyes), since the skin there is extremely thin and very prone to loosing it's elasticity. In other words do it too much and you'll get bags under your eyes when you're older LOL, if you're cool with that or willing to take the risk though, then go for it! Take care all and have an awesome day Kevin

So I did get that new job selling life insurance. I've also quit my other job, and for the next couple of weeks at least (and quite possibly for the forseeable future) my schedule will be extremely hectic and I probably won't be around for more than a half hour (maybe 45 min) a day (possibly in the morning before 8, or more likely in the evening after 11). Eventually I will have some semi-regular time off, but it likely won't be for the first week or so, and even after that there's every chance that I won't have enough free time to be on very much anymore I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. Anyway, if anyone's curious I do like the new job. I think the change is going to be good for me, and I'm excited about seeing where it goes! Also, I'm quite pleased because I managed to accomplish one of my major short-term goals there and subtly/naturally in the flow of conversation come out to my sales manager and co-trainee. It went fine btw. Anyway, I know there's still like a whole office full of co-workers left, but really these are the only two I've had the natural opportunity to do it with, so I'm pleased that I did (LOL, and if I'm lucky they'll gossip). No more closets for this gay boi! Take care all and have a great day Kevin

No, neither the confused girl's fiance' or female love interest work there. Hmm, never saw that

WOW! Thank you SO MUCH for telling me about this, Adrian! I loved this song, and now I really really wanna see this musical! Did they ever make it into a movie or anything by chance? OMG! That was so fun! Until very recently this was my current favourite song! My new favourite song is possibly "Animal I have become" by Three Days Grace. I've also been listening to "Closing Time" by Semisonice a lot lately. My favourite lyrics are: "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end" Other songs/lyrics which are standby favourites of mine are: "Folk Singer Song" by Brendan Benson: "It was fun while it lasted and then it was blasted Right out of the water and into fantastic!" ...(later in the song) "No matter how much you take from each song that I make I'm not fragile. I don't break" From "Buy Buy Buy" by The Barenaked Ladies: "He's like a movie star without movies" And "Vaguely Celtic music fills the air" -Kevin

I've always loved this song! WOW! I'd never head of this song before, it's really beautiful, especially when you do think about it in the context of a gay relationship. I really like this song! I think I prefer the remade version by No Doubt though. oh my gosh! That's SUCH an intense song.

Thanks for the song reference, I just checked it out and like it I'd agree with that. It's all a matter of just what you can compromise and what's nonnegotiable. These things vary from person to person.

WOOO HOOOO!!! Lots and lots of good news!! Congrats! I hope everything keeps going so well -Kevin

I loved that second one, Thirdeye, it's so adorable! Is that your boyfriend? Great pic, Jamie, it is a really good one! And you look really sweet in it Like trustworthy and stuff. I LOVE your hair colour, Clumber! LOL, I've had my hair that colour before actually, but obviously it came from a bottle Robbie, quit complaining! That last pic of you with the shaggy hair was really cute! Don't worry Adrian, I like the candid shots! It looks like you've got really cool friends too! And I think you and your first BFF would make a cute couple if it ever happened to work out. LOL, why would you pick a fight with Morgan, Gary? He's too cute to fight with . I agree with you about Coley though, that is a really great pic!! LOL, and I love your Santa hat! It certainly does sound like a job with perks Great pics all around, folks -Kevin

Happy Birthday, Luc!! I hope it's super special and may the coming year be filled with all the happiness and joy that you deserve!! -Kevin

Thanks! I'm a tad nervous but I figured I'd might as well try it!

Well it's not completely off-topic since we're discussing faces I just thought it was Menzo himself, and I've been thinking for the past several days "WOW! He's HOT!"

Thank goodness the post really did turn out to be about "pulling faces". When I read the title, and subtitle (secrets of the bathroom). I had my fears that the word "faces" was misspelled. LOL, I would laugh at the concept of putting on eyeshadow and foundation...then I realised I've done it (well not eyeshadow, eyeliner when I was going for an enhancement to my punky/goth look) and still occassionally use a bit of concealor/skin toner. My experience with shaving though is that it definitely encourages some funny faces; I've often stopped and giggled at myself. Undoubtedly as a child I did purposely make funny faces in the mirror...well probably much more recently than that. But I'm the sort of person for whom such an event wouldn't leave a lasting impression, so I can't recall exactly. Take care all and have a great day! Kevin

LOL, but at the rate you're going I expect you to pass me eventually. If I remember correctly Robbie (RK) was once very far out of my reach with regards to number of posts.

WOOO HOOOOO!!! Congrats dude!!!!

Oh my gosh!! Yes!! I loved those! I've only ever seen two episodes of that, but they were quite good. I'd really like to see the rest!

Don't try to make sense of this blog in the order in which it appears. Each paragraph is pretty much random and self-contained. I got that new job. *sigh* It's insurance again, this time life. At least I'll be able to jump in more quickly this time since I still have my active license from last time. I start training Monday, the following Monday I'm supposed to go with someone out on the field, then the Monday after that I'll be on my own. I'm not completely sure how I feel about it. I'm definitely ready to leave my old job, and I think I need the change. Anyway, it might work out well and I'd might as well give it a shot I suppose. I found out something a bit shocking the other day at work (old job). It turns out one of my co-workers, who's engaged (to a guy), is falling in love with the female upstairs neighbour of one of our other coworkers :wacko: Looks like things could get a bit unpleasant for everyone involved . LOL, it's times like these I wonder if anyone's straight anymore. Dontcha just hate it when people give your number to other people without consulting you first? So yeah, that happened to me and now...blah, just kinda sucks. I wanted to move on from this particular bit of my past and it's a lot harder, if not impossible now. One thing I'm concerned about is that when I leave the old job I'll quit having daily opportunities to use my Spanish. I'm still not very good, but I was getting considerably better. LOL, in fact like three seperate people at work asked if I'd just started seeing an Hispanic guy...and one of them wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. haha Turns out I like the band Three Days Grace. I hadn't quite realized that I was a fan until I found myself downloading yet another song by them that I really like: "Animal I Have Become". I was absolutely hooked on "Pain" before that, and their older stuff was quite good too. LOL, so I guess I'm a fan. I think I'm addicted to self-improvement (or at least attempting it). Actually I probably have been pretty much since my early teens. In fact I have no doubt that my frequent trolling around the self-improvement aisles of bookstores is what ultimately sparked my interest in psychology (they tended to be next to each other). Anyway I suspect I'll never stop trying to look better, be healthier, smarter, kinder, and all around better. Fortunately my vices keep my from going off the deep end I saw both the new Spiderman movie, and the new Pirates movie. They were both really good and I recommend both, but oh my gosh!!! Spiderman was SOOOOO good. I mean I liked the first two, but IMO this last one just blows them outta the water. LOL and there was no shortage of eye candy in this movie either! Peter's new newspaper rival is like the epitome of what I consider "my type" (only it's nice if they aren't evil too ). Harry is as adorable as ever, and Toby Mcguire himself is so much cutier with those bangs in his face. LOL, and apart from all that it was actually a really good, exciting, dramatic movie too! Anyway, I guess that's about it for now, Take care all and have a great day! Kevin

Well I don't watch TV anymore, and haven't for about 5 years now. I suppose the newest "favourite show" would be Queer as Folk, which may end up going down on my "forever" list. My forever list could be QUITE long, but since most people only put three so will I: 1)Friends 2)Fraiser 3)Are You Being Served? Seinfeld is also pretty much right there. Same here, Luc. I loved Dick Van Kyke! Oh my gosh! I loved To The Manor Born too! And oddly enough I was just thinking about it this morning! Blah, I'll cheat and throw in one more Red Dwarf

Personally speaking I tend to prefer one-on-one (or perhaps chats with 3-5 people) the most. It's probably because I feel like I need to be responding to and listening to everyone, and that's difficult to do with large groups. In real life I usually prefer groups of 2-5 as well. It's fine if there's more people, but then inevitably people tend to break into...groups of 2-5 to have their conversations, which is fine if they're far enough from whatever little group I'm in that I don't really "notice", but if they're like right next to me then I feel like I'm either ignoring or being ignored...LOL, I suppose I have issues too I did quite enjoy GA chats last spring/summer when I used to participate fairly regularly, but that was mostly because it sort of was possible to participate in all the little side conversations going on at once...just difficult. In any case I formed several friendships from the experience myself. Ultimately I preferred to talk to these people one on one, but I definitely "owe it" to the chatroom that I met them at all. SO I suppose I'm sorry too, even though I haven't participated actively in over a year now. Anyway, Luc, I remember being quite pleased when I got your MSN because I've always thought you seemed like a delightfully interesting person to talk to, and I was/am also thoroughly disappointed to discover that my MSN never properly added your SN (yours and several others). Undoubtedly it's because of some issue my out of date version of MSN, or my out of date computer, is having. Tragically, knowing myself I realize and accept that I'm unlikely to actively update either until they're completely unusable. Still, if you ever see ME on MSN (which is in itself a rarity these days) I'd be quite pleased to talk to you if you IM me, and don't worry about not being good at holding the conversation; I'm pretty good at that as long as you're at least semi-receptive Anyway, I don't think it's an overstatement at all to say that you "made friends" with chat. I certainly did, and while I definitely view my "cyber friends" as somewhat different from my "real life" friends I certainly don't view them as unreal. Indeed in many ways I think the internet opens up the chance to be friends with people, and really get to know people, that you otherwise wouldn't have been able to, and I DON'T just mean because of geographic location, but instead because of the different ways in which people tend to conduct themselves online. Anyway take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

"Why me?" Nope, not something I've ever particularly wandered either. I've always tended to stand out a bit in one way or another. I've seldom ever considered, and never wanted to consider, myself "ordinary", "typical", or even "normal" in any given circumstance. As I've said before, in that regard being gay fit delightfully well with my objective of being "unique". So I suppose my answer to "why me?" would be "just lucky I guess". Anyway finding myself in smaller subgroups or generally "beating the odds" really doesn't seem THAT unusal to me. I know it is, but I am just a lucky person. Still, I am undoubtedly one of the "lucky ones". Being different has always been a condition fairly positively recieved in the environments I've been in (whether it was with regards to myself or others). I've never felt a very high degree of pressure to "conform", and individuality was always placed at a premium. Further, I didn't really have the "option" to regard being gay as something negative. Long before I ever identified as such I'd reached the conclusion that it was perfectly okay. Indeed it was fairly highly internalized, almost to the extent that "stealing and hitting people are bad", "sharing is good", etc. etc. were. "It's okay to be different", was just an accepted truth. Again before I'd even worked out that I was gay, I'd known, liked, and accepted other gay people, and seen them generally positively recieved by others. SO, I suppose I'd have felt like an awful hypocrite if I'd had a major problem with myself being gay. Don't get me wrong, when I worked it all out it was a pretty emotional time, and I did have fears and concerns, but ultimately I'd have been disappointed in myself if I'd ever "hated" it. Personally speaking one of the internal attributes I value the most in myself is my willingness, and commitment to being able to "go anywhere in my head". I'm not always willing to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with others, but I make a point of acknowledging, and exploring them. I think you're right And how sad it is that most people view it as a bad thing when they discover it. Thadda boy!! Once again I find myself heartened by your well-adjusted, confident, positive attitude, Colin! I'm very pleased to think that you (and a few others around here) represent the "emerging face of gay youth". Take care all and have an awesome day! Kevin

Yay!! I'm so happy for you Adrian!! That does sound like a major turning point in your friendship! If you can have that level of openness and disclosure there's a really good chance the friendship is destined to be very long-term I wish you the best and I'm proud of you!! Yes, it does...probably why I tend to like "chick flicks"

Did they actually ask you to supply a number, Conner? Personally speaking I never considered it sinful in the first place and thus didn't bother to confess it. But in my experience with Catholic confession the priest never asked "how many times?" with regards to any sin. LOL, probably realized if they did they'd likely get a lot of "umm, gee, I dunno, a bunch?" answers YAY! More for me!!

Happy Birthday, Rob!!! I hope your day is filled with lotsa fun stuff! Take care and have an awesome year -Kevin

But pirates I'm sure could remain happily pamper-free. Welcome to GA, Eliot! It's a pleasure to have you here! I'm sure you'll enjoy it and undoubtedly we'll all be richer for having had the benefit of your presence Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin