AFriendlyFace

Hey Celia, You know, that happens to me too! It sounds like you have a really good approach to handling it and I'm going to have to give that a shot as well. I'm sorry for your friend too of course, but it is nice to know I'm not totally alone on this. It seems like most people in this age bracket don't really care about getting older. It has been a pleasure, take care and thanks -Kevin

Awww Thanks Dion! I really appreciate your kind words. In fact I read them right before I went to bed last night and they cheered me up considerably I'm glad someone can relate and I think you're just nifty as you are too btw -Kevin

Good point about about whether extremely similar scores really 'count' anyway. I really do think we're going to have a bias here in our community though. The program probably wasn't created for gay literature, gay writers, or gay friendly writers. I'm sure that does make a difference. I think the length thing is a rather valid point. The more the program has to test and analyze the less likely that it'll be a random, freak occurrence. For example, let's say I don't know what the probability of flipping a coin and getting 'heads' is. If I flip it twice, three times, or even four times it's really not that unlikely that I'll get something like 75%-100% probability of heads (or tails) when obviously we all know that the real probability is 50%. If I flip my coin 1,000 times then I'm probably going to have something really close to 50% (maybe 48 - 52%) if I do it 10,000 times I would expect it to be something like 49.XXX% - 50.XXX% and so on. Small 'anomalies' work themselves out in the long run over time. So a female author could easily submit two or three lines of text that used the words 'above' 'said' etc. and come up with a male score, because most authors are likely to use those words at least occasionally, but I'm sure the theory goes that if she submits longer work such random chance will be reduced or eliminated.

Thanks Gabe Well, it's not so much that I feel 'old' per se, just all those other things and I don't like getting older. Anyway thanks -Kevin

Warning: self-pitying, whiny post ahead So it's almost my birthday and I've been trying to forget it...isn't easy though, I told one friend months ago when it was during a time when I wasn't stressed out about it and damn if they don't all know now! I keep getting that, "So what are we doing for your birthday?" question. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate the sentiment, but I'll be honest, here's what I want to do on my birthday: I want people to send me a nice text, or a brief, casual phone call telling me that they care about me and that they're thinking about me. "Happy Birthday" is okay if you absolutely must. "Happy ___ Birthday" is most definitely not okay. If you don't know how old I am...well I don't particularly want you asking in the first place, but if you have the extreme poor taste and insensitivity to ask me on my birthday (when it's already fairly well-established and well-known that I'm not happy about getting older) then you deserve to be bitch slapped, but I'm a non-violent person so I'll probably settle for giving you an icy glare and coldly responding that it's none of your damn business. In general I do not want to act like I'm happy about getting older and I do not want to be reminded of my age. I do want a little extra positive attention and affection though (so shoot me, I'm human), just do it without bringing age into the equation. I don't want saccharine words of encouragement about how 'we all have to get older' or 'it beats the alternative' or 'you're just getting better'. You can give me a little sympathy if you like. You can flatter the hell out of me. But don't try to make me get over it. If you want to help me deal with my issues about aging wait 4-8 months when it won't be quite as touchy a subject. So why do I, someone still clinging to his early twenties, have so much of a problem with aging? Always have actually. It wasn't always 'getting older' related, but I was never really comfortable with the whole concept of age. I never enjoyed telling people my age. I've always found it rude to ask, even when I was a kid. I do buy into that 'you're only as old as you feel' crap. I really do, so let me feel like I'm 19 damnit and quit reminding me that I'm not! Anyway, back to why getting older sucks. Basically, every single birthday is a reminder of all of my failures and shortcomings. Another year has ticked away and I still haven't done, or made progress toward, X, Y, and Z. Another year has come and gone and I'm still dealing with A, B, and C. I guess it's sort of like New Year's resolutions for other people. I have all these plans for my life that I really want to achieve. But I'm not a dumbass; I know when I'm not making any progress. Nevertheless, more often than not I'm perfectly content 'in the moment'. Don't get me wrong; I love my life and I'm a very happy person. But birthdays are when I can't help but to seriously look at my life and notice what I didn't accomplish or still haven't fixed. Frankly, I'm not like that at all around the holidays. Honestly the holidays are mostly meaningless to me. I try to take them for their general purpose of good will to all men and counting your blessings and what not. I enjoy the time off, the parties, the time with friends and family...but I really don't measure my life by them. I don't see New Year's as a new year. THAT is my birthday, which makes more sense to me and is a lot more accurate and concrete than some silly day someone randomly picked to start the new calendar. I even get that crappy, "Oh look, I'm alone for my birthday" thing that other people get for Christmas and whatnot. It's like, "well, I'm another year older and still haven't found anyone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with." But again I'm not going to delude myself; I'm not going to date some random person just for the sake of not being alone...that would make me feel more pathetic. I could have easily gone back with one my ex's in the last couple of weeks, but it was wrong then and it's wrong now. Then of course it's just the getting older thing literally. It's like, "well, I'm not as (physically) strong as I used to be" (I'm really not ). "I don't have as much energy" (well I do but it requires more sleep and I need much more downtime now). "I'm just not as attractive as I used to be" (maybe if I fix myself up and compare myself to an only average day from the past). "I don't learn as quickly" (I don't have strong evidence for this but I'm suspicious). It just goes on and on. I worry about my declining health, my dwindling opportunities, my wasted time, everything! And it's not like I think it's really that bad. It's not like I think I can't 'do something about it' or still have it really good. The thing that just pisses me off and makes me sad is that while I can still be in excellent health it won't be easy as when I was a teen. I can still look young and hot, but I want to get carded damnit! ROUTINELY. I can still learn most of the skills and knowledge I want to learn, but I worry that the older I get the harder it'll be to gain the same level of fluency and proficiency that I would have had in my childhood. Basically what it comes down to isn't thinking that it's all that bad...just that it'll be harder to make it as good. The most depressing thought is that I feel like each year marks another notch. Every year from now on I'm just going to have to keep working harder for what I want than if I had gotten it already (or at least made a good start). That's why I take stock of what I haven't done and what I haven't fixed. That's why I'm mad at myself when I realize I've blown still more time and opportunities and if I can get it, it'll be more difficult. I just pisses me off! Anyone ever see that episode of QAF when Brian was freaked out about turning 30 and he was like messing around with erotic asphyxiation and Michael caught him and gave him that pep talk and he was like: "You'll always be young and you'll always be beautiful" Well that's lovely, but it's still a boldfaced lie. Oh he can do that 'young at heart' thing, or 'look good for his age', but anyone who's ever seen the show knows that Brian wanted to be young in the literal, chronological logical sense and look hot for any age. Let's face it, he's going to get older (or die) and so will I. I can accept it. I will accept it. But I don't have to like it.

Happy Birthday Alex!!!! I hope you have a truly amazing day and an awesomely fantastic year! I hope you're doing well! Miss ya, dude -Kevin

Hmmm I'm going to make a comment/observation, and I do hope it doesn't rain on anyone's parade or offend anyone, but I will say that I'm a tad disheartened by how many male authors have expressed disappointment that their writing is 'female' and by how many female authors have expressed disappointment that their writing is 'male'. ...I'm assuming you all are mostly just joking around and don't really care, but speaking as someone who loves being male and being around males, I have to say that I love defying gender stereotypes even more. Does any of this sort of thing really matter? I mean it's interesting, but it's interesting to me because it (supposedly) highlights one of my 'female' areas. I'm fine with that, happy about it even. I would never want to walk too far on either side of the gender lines. I'm a guy, and I like doing 'guy stuff', but that doesn't mean that - except for a few physically impossible things - I can't and won't do anything and everything that any 'typical' female might do and enjoy it and be proud of it. Just as while I'm 'gay' it doesn't mean that I can't and won't do anything and everything any 'typical' male might do and enjoy it and be proud of it. For me personally being gay is about ignoring gender roles and expectations and doing what I want when I want it without shame, guilt, or hesitancy. *shrug* That's just me though -Kevin (who's perfectly delighted to 'write like a girl')

Wow! Cool! I was completely unaware of this song *gasp* Are you telling me I missed a thread on GA somewhere!? HAHAHA, that was fun! I agree with you, Francios, BUT if you notice there are LOTS of parodies of that songs. I like this one better (although it's cheesier and not as hot as the vid Tim linked too it's better musically IMO): I kissed a boy (dif. version) I dunno, I think "I Kissed a Girl" is much more appropriate for me. IMO, the song isn't about kissing who you normally kiss, who people expect you to kiss, it's about experimenting and going outside the lines. About surprising yourself and others. LOL, no one's going to be surprised if I kiss a boy and like it. The real scandal would be if I kissed a girl and liked it -Kevin

My take was actually that men write more purely functional, basic dialogue, whereas women might get more creative. For example rather than 'said' an author could use the words 'growled, laughed, giggled, snorted, asked, inquired, responded, answered, enthused, gasped, etc."

Well, not that we were under assault, but speaking for the Kevin's, I've made quite a few parties more fun by drinking too much tequila That's what I was thinking too. I also noticed that it seemed as though this gentleman was too young. I would suspect then that it was Jerry's contact and not Jerry himself. I can't wait to see what develops next! -Kevin

Have a very safe and enjoyable trip, CJ! Good luck with the laptop! -Kevin

That's awesome, man! I'm glad you had such a positive experience!

LOL, rodeos are surprisingly fun! As are horses and line dancing. I go out to the gay western bar sometimes. It's a lot of fun and I have to say I think the cowboy couples are utterly adorable! Personally I'm not really into that type of guy as a boyfriend (I tend to like the 'pretty' sort of guys, not the rugged ones), but cowboys are certainly fun and make good friends Really cool avatar! I hadn't noticed the rainbow band till you pointed it out Take care and have a great day! Kevin

Welcome cowboy!

I really like the song. I can actually see the whole trivializing and exploiting lesbians argument, BUT I also think that overall it'll be a net positive for the GLBT cause because it will add more positive publicity. SO in a way I see both controversial arguments (regardless of her claims or her intent) but I think the 'promoting homosexuality' one is stronger and as it happens I'm in favour of that so I'm okay with the song. On a separate note, the artists she mentioned as influences/was compared to totally rock IMO, and if she can hang with them I'll probably be enjoying her music for quite awhile to come Just my thoughts, Kevin

Woo Hoo! Awesome thanks! I hope you do enjoy it!

That's true! Behind every great man...

So what you're saying is that they're so large that if you just point in her general direction it's bound to look as though you're pointing at them? Awesome! Glad you're better

Woo hoo! That sounds like fun!! I hope you can get together a group! If I were in Britain I'm sure I would attend

It doesn't seem to. It actually shows what it's analyzing and it's just a set of key words that it decides are female versus male. It didn't copy and paste too well, but here's the charts (which happened to be plugged in for my anthology piece): Analysis Feminine Keywords Masculine Keywords [with] 96 x 52 = 4992 [around] 24 x 42 = 1008 [if] 25 x 47 = 1175 [what] 53 x 35 = 1855 [not] 166 x 27 = 4482 [more] 21 x 34 = 714 [where] 18 x 18 = 324 [are] 26 x 28 = 728 [be] 52 x 17 = 884 [as] 266 x 23 = 6118 [when] 62 x 17 = 1054 [who] 9 x 19 = 171 [your] 16 x 17 = 272 [below] 1 x 8 = 8 [her] 215 x 9 = 1935 [is] 46 x 8 = 368 [we] 14 x 8 = 112 [these] 8 x 8 = 64 [should] 5 x 7 = 35 [the] 624 x 7 = 4368 [she] 261 x 6 = 1566 [a] 271 x 6 = 1626 [and] 408 x 4 = 1632 [at] 87 x 6 = 522 [me] 22 x 4 = 88 [it] 166 x 6 = 996 [myself] 0 x 4 = 0 [many] 3 x 6 = 18 [hers] 1 x 3 = 3 [said] 96 x 5 = 480 [was] 292 x 1 = 292 [above] 0 x 4 = 0 [to] 410 x 2 = 820 What I consider interesting is that "she" and "hers" are key words for female but "he" and "his" are not keywords for male. I can understand that if the focus is simply on the fact that females will be more concerned with gender and other such relationships, but I think it's a bit skewed for gay males. I use female pronouns every now and then, but obviously I'm going to use a whole lot more male pronouns. So I think male pronouns ought to appear somewhere, even if it's on the female side. As an interesting aside I was completely unaware that I hadn't used the word 'above' even once in my story (which is actually rather long). I'm not surprised I didn't use 'myself' since it's told in 3rd person. ....I wonder if I just gave you spoilers

Well I got the results I expected: Female LOL, I already knew I tended to think and express myself in that way. Buy Me A Drink: The only chapter that was male was the first one, which was actually fairly androgynous (similar scores but male edged it out), the rest (9 chapters and an interlude) were all female, most were markedly female but a couple others were near the middle too. Indefensible: Chapter two was the most 'male' thing I ever wrote...interesting considering I was going for a deeply emotional chapter. The other two chapters were female. Short Stories: If No One Notices: Male, but not extremely Going In: Male (well it's fitting I guess), but not extremely Giving up: Female The Long Good Night: Female but not extremely I tend to agree with Richard and Kit's observations though. This is probably in part due to the fact that I'm a gay male, and also the tool is playing on stereotypes. Nevertheless, I really do suppose I write more 'female' than 'male'. -Kevin EDIT: I was curious so I also put in my new anthology piece. It turns out it's solidly (but not extremely) male. Actually, that does make sense to me. It was a 'different' sort of piece than I usually write.

That's a really cute, pic dude! Hope you're feeling better now (from the tonsillitis that is) -Kevin

Well, personally I'm in favour of Robbie's big coming out. I don't have facebook or myspace, but whatever floats your boat (yeah, we needed another metaphor in this thread...)

I love your lips, Rose!

Wait, you mean at the same time!