AFriendlyFace

I'm with Drew and Gene on this one, Jamie; you should just tell him how you like it. Personally speaking, it sounds like we have very different ideas about what makes a good kisser! I love guys that use a lot of tongue, and I think the tongue wrestling is HOT. Actually, the last guy I made out with was way too tentative and I did tell him. I feel a bit bad about him in general because he was very shy and our entire relationship (even though we were never technically 'in' a relationship) consisted of me suggesting things and him going along with it. So it didn't seem weird for me to tell him how to kiss. Although the main reason I decide to stop seeing him was because everything was my decision. Which was nice, I'm not going to lie, I like getting my own way, but it drove me crazy that he never told me what he wanted and I felt like a dictator. Anyway, still on the kissing thing, I think it just depends on the style of the people involved. As I said I like guys that are more aggressive with their tongues and I tend to be too. One of my ex's told me I was the best kisser he was ever with, and now every time he kisses someone new I get a text saying "you're still the best kisser". LOL, but yeah I think the kissing is pretty important too. I really think it's about communication. On the other hand maybe you're just not compatible orally. You should talk to him about it. How would you feel about giving him a lot of tongue, if he kept his to himself? It might be the perfect solution. Apart from that, yay for you staying away from the drugs and stick at it!!! Avoid the people that use you! Stick with your non-user friend. Be careful with the roomie, definitely plead ignorance on the job thing, and all around try to relax and be healthy so that you can focus on school You're the bestest!! -Kevin

That's a good point So's that! I think a lot depend on whether or not you see it coming and how firm the touch is. I'm a bit ticklish, but not excessively.

How inconsiderate of the storm to rain on your parade! Looks like we were pretty lucky with this one! Most of Louisiana sustained less damage than was anticipated

Happy Birthday Drew Have a fantastic day and a really awesome year! -Kevin

A few comments on that. First, I've heard of lots of instances of one person in a straight marriage cheating, picking up STDs (including HIV) and bringing it home to their spouse. So honestly who's to say it is a good idea? I'll butt out if it's a married couple, but I'm disinclined to ever advise them against condom use (unless they are specifically trying to conceive, but that should be pretty obvious). Anyway, you said 'monogamous couple', referring to gays, in your first statement, and then 'straight married couple' in your second. Sorry, but there's a difference. Just as there's a difference between a 'monogamous straight couple' and a married straight couple. I would VERY MUCH and VERY STRONGLY encourage a straight, monogamous couple to use condoms. Sorry but simply 'committed' and 'monogamous' don't cut it for me, whether you're gay or straight I still think it's stupid to have unsafe sex. Now, if you want to compare apples to apples, if it's a gay 'married' couple who have done it somewhere in which marriage is legal, or they've entered a domestic partnership, civil union, or at least had a commitment ceremony - and assuming that a closed, monogamous relationship is a part of their partnership (which is the same requirement I would have for married straights to engage in unsafe sex) - then sure, I don't object at all and don't consider their behaviour foolish. If they've been faithful to each other for years and intend to remain partnered and monogamous for the duration of their lives, then of course I don't care if they've had any ceremony or legal arrangement (as I don't with straight couples). But I'm sorry this 'oh I love him and we're going to be together forever' nonsense that so many couples (gay and straight) pull as an excuse to have unsafe sex isn't going to float with me. Just because it's your steady boyfriend/girlfriend - regardless of whether it's a gay or straight relationship - does not mean you should be having unprotected sex with them. Give it a year or two, minimum, and then talk to me about commitment and monogamy.

I just wanted to wish a very special and happy birthday to Redlightfeeling I hope you have an awesome day, Jared, and a fantastic year! -Kevin

As long as people have freewill both monogamy and infidelity will always be possible. People will always have the chance, at one point or another, to cheat on their partner; however, they'll also always have the simple option of saying 'no'. It really just depends on the people involved and what their priorities and values are. I'm not even saying that someone who cheats doesn't love their partner or value their relationship. Perhaps they just don't particularly value the monogamy part of it. Nevertheless, that doesn't change the fact that they could and it doesn't change the fact that some people won't stray.

Well, I'm not addressing you specifically, Jamie, because you said you don't usually do that, but I just can't fathom why anyone would want to be with someone who could be 'led astray'. Oh I guess if you just want to get in their pants and move on, I could see - though not agree with - the motivation. But I can't imagine 'stealing someone' for yourself for an actual relationship. Whether or not what you did was wrong (which personally I happen to think it would be), you basically just proved that the person could be 'stolen' or 'led astray' or whatever you want to call it...why be with someone like that?

New Orleans and Baton Rouge! That's my old stomping ground I hope you can help them out! Be safe though, James

Congrats on the new name, dude

Tim, I'm pretty sure this is just basic 'projection'. You're projecting your anger, frustration, and sadness on other people who have nothing to do with the situation. It's an almost universal part of the human experience. It's the classic "man's boss gives him a hard time so he comes home and kicks the dog' scenario. It makes you feel better because it gives you a feeling of power. It makes you feel guilty because you're sensible and compassionate enough to see the error in your ways. The solution of course is to be mindful of what the actual problem is. If I'm tired and stressed out about work I need to do something about that. I need to figure out a way to take a break, clear my workload, or at least decompress a bit. It's unfair for me to make sarcastic remarks at my friends. There usually is a degree of passive aggressive behaviour involved as well. If you could openly express your frustration you'd be less likely to get in the situation in the first place so you probably are handling it in passive aggressive ways as well. As I said, the key is to be mindful of what the actual problem and frustration is and to avoid taking it out on others or taking out the 'wrong problem' on the 'right person.' It's never easy, but being aware of the situation is definitely the first step Good luck -Kevin

My opinion, no, that's ridiculous. Obviously it all depends on how you define 'sex', but any definition which doesn't include both gay and straight intercourse is obviously very limited and bias.

Interesting little clip. Thanks for the link, J.Ross

Awww I'm sorry you've been glum recently, Robbie

I think these are both excellent ideas! Apart from that all I can really suggest is to create a fun, non-judgmental atmosphere where everyone can feel welcome

Good pic!

LOL! Me too, Jamie! I wonder what's up with that!?

Well said, Tim! Yes, in my experience, as an out young gay guy with out young gay friends most of us have the sense to use condoms or at least none of us have the stupidity to admit to not doing so. The very youngest gay teens first coming out, and gay males who are alienated from gay society definitely seem to be at the greatest risk.

That's sort of exactly what I mean. Someone who knows they are a violent drunk would be more culpable for the actions that getting drunk would lead to (because they are to be expected) than someone who had hitherto only been a pleasant drunk. I think people who do something while drunk are still culpable, but I think the level of culpability is slightly different depending on the circumstances.

Dunno, haven't seen it. I hear it's entertaining but is indeed historically inaccurate.

Happy Birthday, Jason I hope it's a great and happy one

Actually despite liking Jason and deMarco and having promoted the song a bit around here, I have to generally agree with Kit about its actual quality. Some of the lyrics are almost comically bad and the melody itself manages to be a bit cheesy. Still, there's a lot of good songs out there so for now I support gay media of all kinds more or less on the principal of the matter. Now if you want a good gay/bi song, you should check out by Keo Nazari. It's hot and infectious (much like the people in it ). -Kevin

Hmmm As someone who grew up in Louisiana, who has the majority of his family there, and many old friends, I can attest to the fact that this is good advice in general. However, I'm afraid it's also a sort of 'perfect world' situation. Attitudes are such that a great many people simply aren't going to leave. There's no one more stubborn and territorial than a Cajun who feels threatened by someone/something. I was chatting with my mom on the phone a few hours ago. The medium sized town in which she resides is unlikely to take the brunt of the damage and is probably mostly safe. However, it's still out of gasoline and other 'essentials'. If that's the case what do you think the towns predicted to directly take the worst of it are like? Getting supplies isn't always easy. Neither is evacuating for that matter. I live in Houston now and nearly everyone I know has a horror story from the Katrina/Rita days about how they sat in traffic for 5 or 6 hours and never even made it outside of the city limits! It's tough to evacuate if you live in a large city unless you do it very early, and frankly except for people who can easily afford the disruption in terms of work, school, and their economic situation AND who are also just plain willing to do it when things are still a bit iffy, folks aren't likely to leave early. Anyway, it's great advice and I hope people take it. However, it really isn't easy to take, for one reason or another, in many situations. Good luck to all who are potentially impacted! -Kevin

Awww you poor thing! LOL, it seems like being confused over whether it's a kiss or a hug is an almost universal part of the human experience! (at least in this thread anyway) What ashame that people didn't also develop the custom of saying what they are about to do. "I'm going to hug you now." "I'm going to kiss you on the cheek" "I'm going to kiss you on the mouth" We'd all be ready! No more embarrassing fumbles with two different expectations! Of course it would sound silly to us as is, but if it were standard to just casually narrate the action while performing it maybe we wouldn't think anything of it