How very strange. You're younger than I am, and I don't feel remotely old. I'm not the same person I was at 17, but that doesn't make me even middle aged yet. That's not to say your fears are trivial or baseless; I'm just saying I don't share them yet.

Granted, the people in my work group, who for better or worse are the people I spend more time with than anyone (dammit), are all at least a decade older than me. That probably keeps my relative mental age artificially low.

Best wishes anyways, in getting through the actual day.

--Gabe

Thanks Gabe

Well, it's not so much that I feel 'old' per se, just all those other things and I don't like getting older.

Anyway thanks

-Kevin

I can totally sympathize with your feelings, Kevin. Every time *that* date rolls around I cringe inwardly, knowing there's some schmuck out there that will, regardless of past reactions, call up or show up all bouncy and excited and "Bet you thought I forgot it's your birthday!" No, dumbass. I knew you wouldn't. I was hoping you'd forgotten my address/phone number. That was the one gift I really, really wanted.

The commercial seasons don't affect me. The new year rolls in and I'm usually stacking z's. Sounds good to me.

Besides... my birthday is usually a harbinger of something emotionally crippling. Never mind the mental rota of all the things I wanted to accomplish by this stage in my life that I'm not even close to achieving. My mother is the same way. Don't mention it, don't buy anything for it. Of course no one listens to her, either. I just make sure when I talk to her on that day that I tell her I love her. It's something I'm prone to forget in other conversations. Due to circumstances we're not as close as we once were.

You're a beautiful person whose personality is a wondrous gift all on its own. When the whole situation is dragging you down, try to remember you have family here that cares about your well-being and looks forward to reading the psychological gems you cast in your wake.

I, for one, am glad to have you around just as you are. Take care, Kevin. Today and every other.

yep take care Kevin like all the others said.

something simular happened with one of my friends a few days ago. she's just turned 22 and I asked her if she was happy, she replied she felt like she should be accomplishing lots more, like she's very behind. she felt she should be doing something with her life like starting a family even though she doesnt want one (and is the last person I thought would say that). I feel like that whenever I see some young star of somekind in the news or somewhere, and think, omg they're my age, or as is now happening more, they're younger than me, but I block that out and am rational about what it was possible for me to achieve in the time I've had otherwise I'd freeze.

goodluck with everything, its been a pleasure chatting with you in the forums, and it sounds like to me that your making progress.

celia

Kevin, you're not old, and you know it. Besides, do you have any idea how old I'll be on my next birthday? I'll be 26. If I remember correctly, you'll be like 24, right? Anyway, it's not that bad! You're not quite halfway through your 20's like I am, so don't fret about it. FYI, I don't have my b-day on my profile for a reason. The first is that I would prefer most not post the announcement. The second is that there's actually a friend of mine on GA who I don't mind knowing my b-day, and I want him to memorize it. He can post the b-day announcement if he remembers. Otherwise, there will not be one.

Lots of people feel this way. That's not meant to trivialize anything or lump you among the masses, but I wonder if it's something common due to our age, as in early twenties. I've felt bad about aging, hmm, since the end of high school. Prior to turning 18, I felt like such a baby, a little kid. But as I slowly worked my way through college, I just felt so old and unaccomplished, with no direction.

My mother says it's because I'm reaching a new stage in my life, as in figuring out a career, etc. I think she's partly right. However, for the most part, and like you mentioned, it's just that every year my birthday rolls around, I start thinking and evaluating my life/situation. If I wanted things to get better, and it didn't, I feel like a huge failure. Or if I wanted to try something and never got around to it, I beat myself up. And if I haven't found someone to be with, as in a good long term relationship, I wonder what's wrong with me. After all, time's wasting, that biological clock is ticking....Then even worse, I start comparing myself to my friends and their accomplishments...good jobs, engaged, graduate school, etc.

I tell people my age if they ask, but always with a heavy heart. LOL. Unless they're older; then I don't feel so bad. I HATE telling people when my birthday is. I don't want gifts, only a simple dinner with my family. No big celebrations. Just leave me the hell alone, people!

Of course I have older friends in their mid to late thirties, telling me I'm sily, that I'm young, I have lots of time, I should have fun, or they ask me if I rather die young....and they're all right, but I can't shake off those bum feelings during that "unhappy" birthday.

I really loved this blog of yours, even if you're ranting about something that's bothering you. It's because I, among a bunch of thers, feel the same way. Now I don't feel like such a raging idiot when I complain...

Kevin, I have a task for you... between now and your birthday, I want you to write down all of your accomplishments from the past year. You know what I mean, so don't give me this 'I didn't accomplish anything' crap. Wrap it up in a pretty box and give it to yourself as a present for your birthday. Include some nice new bath stuff if you want, because I want you to read your list ALOUD as you soak in the tub. And don't read it just once. Repeat each item multiple times. And, this is important, NO BUTS! Do not diminish any accomplishment by thinking that it wasn't good enough, so no 'but this' or 'but that' crap.

Have fun.

Steph

I can totally sympathize with your feelings, Kevin. Every time *that* date rolls around I cringe inwardly, knowing there's some schmuck out there that will, regardless of past reactions, call up or show up all bouncy and excited and "Bet you thought I forgot it's your birthday!" No, dumbass. I knew you wouldn't. I was hoping you'd forgotten my address/phone number. That was the one gift I really, really wanted.

 

The commercial seasons don't affect me. The new year rolls in and I'm usually stacking z's. Sounds good to me.

 

Besides... my birthday is usually a harbinger of something emotionally crippling. Never mind the mental rota of all the things I wanted to accomplish by this stage in my life that I'm not even close to achieving. My mother is the same way. Don't mention it, don't buy anything for it. Of course no one listens to her, either. I just make sure when I talk to her on that day that I tell her I love her. It's something I'm prone to forget in other conversations. Due to circumstances we're not as close as we once were.

 

You're a beautiful person whose personality is a wondrous gift all on its own. When the whole situation is dragging you down, try to remember you have family here that cares about your well-being and looks forward to reading the psychological gems you cast in your wake.

 

I, for one, am glad to have you around just as you are. Take care, Kevin. Today and every other.

Awww

Thanks Dion! I really appreciate your kind words. In fact I read them right before I went to bed last night and they cheered me up considerably

I'm glad someone can relate and I think you're just nifty as you are too btw

-Kevin

yep take care Kevin like all the others said.

 

something simular happened with one of my friends a few days ago. she's just turned 22 and I asked her if she was happy, she replied she felt like she should be accomplishing lots more, like she's very behind. she felt she should be doing something with her life like starting a family even though she doesnt want one (and is the last person I thought would say that). I feel like that whenever I see some young star of somekind in the news or somewhere, and think, omg they're my age, or as is now happening more, they're younger than me, but I block that out and am rational about what it was possible for me to achieve in the time I've had otherwise I'd freeze.

 

goodluck with everything, its been a pleasure chatting with you in the forums, and it sounds like to me that your making progress.

 

celia

Hey Celia,

You know, that happens to me too! It sounds like you have a really good approach to handling it and I'm going to have to give that a shot as well.

I'm sorry for your friend too of course, but it is nice to know I'm not totally alone on this. It seems like most people in this age bracket don't really care about getting older.

It has been a pleasure, take care and thanks

-Kevin

Kevin, you're not old, and you know it. Besides, do you have any idea how old I'll be on my next birthday? I'll be 26. If I remember correctly, you'll be like 24, right? Anyway, it's not that bad! You're not quite halfway through your 20's like I am, so don't fret about it. FYI, I don't have my b-day on my profile for a reason. The first is that I would prefer most not post the announcement. The second is that there's actually a friend of mine on GA who I don't mind knowing my b-day, and I want him to memorize it. He can post the b-day announcement if he remembers. Otherwise, there will not be one.

LOL! What a clever way to test your friend, Tim!

Well I hope he does remember then

Thanks for the encouragement!

-Kevin

Kevin,

 

Great Post. You expressed how I feel myself every time a birthday approaches. I would imagine that half of the people here feel the same, but some hide behind the false exterior of looking like they are happy or are just openly hostile. You expressed how you feel, and now we all know. You also mentioned that you'll get over it, like you do every other year. All I can say is that makes you sound perfectly normal.

 

Steve

Wow!

Thanks Steve! That made me feel much better. It really does often seem like I'm one of the few people who has issues with it. I'm glad that you and others can relate, and I'm happy if we can all manage to get over it every year and go on

Thanks very much for the kind words!

Kevin

Lots of people feel this way. That's not meant to trivialize anything or lump you among the masses, but I wonder if it's something common due to our age, as in early twenties. I've felt bad about aging, hmm, since the end of high school. Prior to turning 18, I felt like such a baby, a little kid. But as I slowly worked my way through college, I just felt so old and unaccomplished, with no direction.

 

My mother says it's because I'm reaching a new stage in my life, as in figuring out a career, etc. I think she's partly right. However, for the most part, and like you mentioned, it's just that every year my birthday rolls around, I start thinking and evaluating my life/situation. If I wanted things to get better, and it didn't, I feel like a huge failure. Or if I wanted to try something and never got around to it, I beat myself up. And if I haven't found someone to be with, as in a good long term relationship, I wonder what's wrong with me. After all, time's wasting, that biological clock is ticking....Then even worse, I start comparing myself to my friends and their accomplishments...good jobs, engaged, graduate school, etc.

 

I tell people my age if they ask, but always with a heavy heart. LOL. Unless they're older; then I don't feel so bad. I HATE telling people when my birthday is. I don't want gifts, only a simple dinner with my family. No big celebrations. Just leave me the hell alone, people!

 

Of course I have older friends in their mid to late thirties, telling me I'm sily, that I'm young, I have lots of time, I should have fun, or they ask me if I rather die young....and they're all right, but I can't shake off those bum feelings during that "unhappy" birthday.

 

I really loved this blog of yours, even if you're ranting about something that's bothering you. It's because I, among a bunch of thers, feel the same way. Now I don't feel like such a raging idiot when I complain...

Wow again! LOL, I really am surprised that so many others can relate!

Yeah, practically everything you said is similar to what I mean and a lot of it is what I've gone through. I'm glad you did enjoy the blog...I was actually about to delete it last night! But then Gabe and Dion posted responses and I thought how nice and felt a bit better so I left it up. Glad I did now

Thanks for the support, Tiff!

-Kevin

Kevin, I have a task for you... between now and your birthday, I want you to write down all of your accomplishments from the past year. You know what I mean, so don't give me this 'I didn't accomplish anything' crap. Wrap it up in a pretty box and give it to yourself as a present for your birthday. Include some nice new bath stuff if you want, because I want you to read your list ALOUD as you soak in the tub. And don't read it just once. Repeat each item multiple times. And, this is important, NO BUTS! Do not diminish any accomplishment by thinking that it wasn't good enough, so no 'but this' or 'but that' crap.

 

Have fun.

Steph

Oh wow, Steph, I really like this suggestion. At first I thought, "Well I'd feel silly doing that!"....but the more I think about it the more I think it really might help....especially on 'the day'. So I think that's a great suggestion. Even if I do feel a bit silly at first. It's interesting that you said that, because I kept comparing this year to last year and the year before...when I really did feel like I'd made more accomplishments, but I guess there's always that tendency to think you were doing better before. The whole 'good old days' thing I suppose.

Anyway, I'm really going to give this a try! Thanks

-Kevin

Hi Kevin,

dont look back too much !

Just enjoy each day without thinking of the past and the future.

"carpe diem" my friend.

You torture yourself with your feelings about your age !

Believe me, each age has its pleasures. I'm the best proof of it

BTW, we talked allready about the same subject a year ago. It seems to be a bad habit of you to "fall" in the same mood each year when your birthday comes near .

Hi Kevin,

dont look back too much !

Just enjoy each day without thinking of the past and the future.

"carpe diem" my friend.

You torture yourself with your feelings about your age !

Believe me, each age has its pleasures. I'm the best proof of it

BTW, we talked allready about the same subject a year ago. It seems to be a bad habit of you to "fall" in the same mood each year when your birthday comes near .

Hey Old Bob

Yeah, I'm afraid you're right about this being a habit

I'm actually feeling better now though

Thanks for the support!

-Kevin

i theme for a lot of 22+ birthday parties is, "it's not that bad!"

Happy Birthday Sweetpea!!!!

First of all, happy b-day.

Second of all, I know your pain. I tend to turn the phone off, lock the doors, close the blinds and sit in front of the t.v. with a bottle of something good and watch movies. I dislike my birthday. Bad memories....

Anyways, hope this one is better then others.

i theme for a lot of 22+ birthday parties is, "it's not that bad!"

Happy Birthday Sweetpea!!!!

Thank you very much, Sharon

First of all, happy b-day.

Second of all, I know your pain. I tend to turn the phone off, lock the doors, close the blinds and sit in front of the t.v. with a bottle of something good and watch movies. I dislike my birthday. Bad memories....

Anyways, hope this one is better then others.

Thanks Rose

...Actually, it's not too late to take your suggestion. I have got a lovely bottle of Shiraz that's taking up far too much room

Maybe we could freeze you or something? :wacko:

LOL, with the way the weather has been around here the last couple of days I'm beginning to think someone is trying!

Great to hear from ya, Eric

-Kevin