AFriendlyFace

Woo Hoo! Congrats on a special birthday, dude! I hope you had a fantastic day and may the coming year bring you all the great things you deserve -Kevin

Happy birthday, Jack! So sorry I'm a bit late, but I'm hoping it was a great one that you're still celebrating!

Thanks! Same to you and yours

Happy Belated birthday, dude! I hope it was an awesome one

Welcome aboard, Marc!

Great to hear from you, Coley! Thanks for checkin' in! I hope to see ya around again regularly around the forums! -Kevin

And I'm a bit bewildered that this thread still hasn't garnered any serious discussion. It is indeed an excellent film and very relevant in today's times. Oddly, like Corvus I also felt a bit emotional that night in the shower, although I also cried a bit during the actual movie. Don't miss this one you guys! -Kevin

Any news? I'm keeping ya in my thoughts and prayers, dude. All the best -Kevin

Hmmm, I personally disagree (just a matter of taste really). I thought Blackout was the first truly good album she's had. I actually adore 'Womanizer' though, and I do intend to check out the rest of the album. I'm just personally hoping it's more in the same vein as Blackout than her early work. BTW, that guy in the video for 'Womanizer' (ya know, the womanizer himself) is totally hot and adorable! While we're on the topic, personally I love Madonna's latest offering, and similarly think that it's one of her best offerings as well (although really I think she's got quite a few classics). Since we're on the topics of divas, I'll also say that Pink is another one who consistently delights me and has a truly fun and fantastic new album out. Also, Christina just 'keeps gettin' better'

I'm still working on getting 'Mmmkay' in

Wooo HOO! 6,000!! Awesome

Happy birthday, Krista!! -Kevin

Awww, what an awesome post, Sandra! Thanks I'm a bit camera shy to be honest. Actually, I also hate leaving voicemail because I don't particularly like for my voice to be recorded either. Eh, kinda weird I know, but I'm getting better about it, so maybe sometime in the future I'll post a picture or something. It just feels weird to me for some reason to have my voice and picture out there. I do have some very old pictures in my blog though. Aww, so sorry you guys! Thanks for the thoughtful posts. I am sorta back now. I'm planning/hoping to start making regular posts at least a couple of times a week again. Thanks all -Kevin

Hi all, Thought it was time to poke my head back in again. So sorry I keep disappearing. Life gets hectic sometimes, but as long as everyone'll have me I'll always be back sooner or later Right now, I actually am feeling pretty creative and hoping to get back to writing regularly again soon. Unfortunately it's now painfully obvious that before I start posting a story I need to have the whole thing done. In future that is most assuredly what I shall do. WAS is not actually on hiatus, it's still my main fiction project, but it may still be a bit before any updates come out and I intend to make damn sure that when they do they'll keep coming out regularly until the whole thing is done. After that I'll get back to Indefensible. In the mean time I have quite a few short story projects in mind. In truth I'm pretty sure I greatly prefer writing short stories to serials. Anyway, after a few false starts in the last several months I think I can now say that I'm 'back', just not completely full time. I missed you all and I can't wait to see you all around the forums! -Kevin

Slightly over three years ago I made a blog entry entitled "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." It's amazing how much things have changed since then. I have a completely different life now. I was happy then, very happy actually, but I have to say I think I'm actually even happier now. I had the most fun this weekend! Friday night I went to a housewarming party, which was really awesome! It was actually for my girls who had moved back last August. LOL, it took them that long to get settled in and decide it was time for a housewarming party. Heck, the house was downright hot they'd been in it so long by then It was still really fun though! It was also a great chance for me to introduce them to several of my other friends since they wanted me to bring people. I was really glad for the opportunity to have everyone mix together. Saturday I slept late, cleaned up the apartment a bit, then met up for a casual coffee date in the early evening. His name is Trey and he seems like a pretty nice, interesting, good-looking guy. I had a nice time and I think I want to see him again. Which is good considering how many unsuccessful first dates I've been on recently. Anyway, after that I went and picked up my new contact lens. It's amazing how much different the world looks when it isn't all blurry That evening I went clubbing with a couple of my other good friends whom I haven't seen in awhile. It's always so good hanging out with them! We also ran into one of their friends and his partner and I had a really good time with them as well. I'd met the guy a few times before but never really got to know him before last night. He really is fun though, it was actually his birthday and that's why they were out. They don't go out often because they actually have two young kids at home It was so cute listening to them talking about their son and daughter. Anyway, back to my two main friends from this story. One of them, Steven, just had Lasak surgery done. He's thrilled with the results! It's so ironic because he literally got it done on the same day last week that I had an eye appointment and had to get glasses (and now contacts). It's sorta like the circle of life or something I guess Anyway, I think I'm going to look into that eventually. No point now though, I just bought a buncha contacts Anyway, today was incredibly fun too! I went to church with my former "former friend" for the first time. LOL, I'll explain that. If you've been reading my blog for awhile now you'll probably be familiar with this guy, who'll I'll just refer to as Brian from now on for the sake of clarity (it's either that or just 'friend' I guess ). Yeah, we had a pretty messy falling out and he hurt me pretty bad, but it's been over a year now and in the last five months our relationship has been steadily improving. It got to the point that when our paths crossed by accident or due to common activities he'd be pleasant around me and act comfortable (I never really had a problem being pleasant to him and being moderately comfortable). Anyway, then we progressed to occasionally going places together with our mutual friends (we had a lot of those), then more frequently doing that, then finally actually inviting each other to events we were hosting/organizing. Most recently we've started occasionally hanging out together again, just the two of us. Things really got better after he started seeing his new boyfriend. I think because the new bf and I get along well and also because he's happier in general. I have to say though, even though I initially was the one who was much more cool with him than he was with me and who made all the early efforts HE'S the one who's responsible for actually patching up our friendship (which is fair enough I suppose considering he's the one who ended it in the first place). I would have been quite content to leave the extent of our relationship at the socializing in groups together level. However, he started inviting me stuff, being really nice, and suggesting we hang out. It's funny because when he ended our friendship in the first place I was hurt, shocked, and more than a little angry, but I told him if/when he was ready to work things out I'd be open to the idea. ...turns out I kinda wasn't. I politely declined his invitations and dodged him for awhile after he started making efforts to fully reconcile. I don't really stay mad though, actually I wasn't mad at all by that point, just wary. Anyway, I finally gave in and things have been good between us again. Not the same though. It's just a bit difficult for me to completely trust him again. Honestly I don't expect to, on the other hand I didn't expect us to actually get to the point of being friends again so who knows what'll happen. It's just funny because a year ago this was like the height of our little feud and now I'm going to church with him. Anyway, yeah getting back to the story, we went to his church. He's a Unitarian Universalist and this was the first time I'd been to one of those services. I really enjoyed it! In fact I think I'll go back at some point. Anyway, then we hung out, had lunch, and went to the Christmas party for an organization we both belong to. That was really fun too! THEN me and Scott and John (who also belong to that organization and were at the party) all went to the Christmas party for me and Scott's church. I had a blast at that! I've actually not been attending regularly for the last couple of months (it's a liberal Methodist congregation). I dunno, I've just kinda been re-examining my spirituality and religious views (part of the reason I wanted to check out Brian's church) plus I've been enjoying sleeping in on Sundays. Anyway, the party was ALOT of fun and it was really awesome catching up with all my old church friends. Oddly enough I also found myself quite attracted to one of the other guys there. He's always been sexually ambiguous. Scott, John, Luke and I have all speculated about his orientation and we all agree that he's quite possibly gay, perhaps even quite probably, but we don't know for sure. Anyway, I'd never been particularly attracted to him before, but tonight he just looked adorable in his black sweater and cute jeans. It sorta made me notice that he actually has a very nice looking face as well and his hair was fixed nicely. I think it's actually that I'm used to seeing him in his church clothes and he actually dresses very formally to church. I mean it's a pretty fancy church so we all dress up a bit, but he always goes all out with a suit and tie and everything. I've always said that I just don't think guys look nice in suits and ties. I'm sure it's no coincidence that the first time I really notice him he's wearing something else. Anyway, it's not like I'm actually dating Trey yet, so while he's going to be my primary interest right now if things don't work out I think I may just pursue ambiguously gay church boy. Anyway, after that Christmas party Scott, John, and I went to our favourite cafe/bar and had a few drinks and hung out for awhile. It was so funny because Scott's actually interested in a different ambiguously gay guy from our church so we got really goofy (or I suppose you could say acted like teenage girls ) and planed our respective weddings. We've decided to be househusbands and neighbours together. I'm really going to miss John when he leaves He's planning on entering the Catholic seminary in January and moving to Connecticut. Since the deterioration of Luke and mine's friendship and William moving WAY out in the 'burbs (and thus never seeing him anymore ) I've really grown to think of him as my second best gay male friend after Scott. It's going to be much harder on Scott though. He and John are even closer than John and me. He's really convinced John is making a big mistake. Personally, I don't think really think it's the right fit for him either HOWEVER, I think NOT going would be a bigger mistake. I guess I basically think this is a mistake he needs to make or he'll always regret not trying it. I am of course hoping it isn't a mistake at all and that he'll be really happy, but either way I think he does need to go and see. Anyway, I'll miss him Seems like my close friends are always moving away. On the other hand they often move back and it's usually after something they needed to try so I guess I shouldn't complain. Nah, I'll do the supportive friend thing instead. I'll probably even manage not to cry in front of him until the day he actually leaves. Hell, if I can pull that off for my girls I can do it for him as well. Anyway, after that John went home and I went back to Scott and Luke's place and Scott went to bed and I chatted with Luke for awhile. Everything's been really strained with Luke for awhile now. It's the worst BETWEEN Scott and Luke (roommates) and pretty bad between John and Luke as well (ex's), and actually also pretty rough between Brian and Luke (also ex's). In fact, I actually think one of the things Brian and I re-bonded over was our own respective problems with Luke. So anyway, yeah Luke and I have had some problems too. But yeah, was a really awesome weekend all in all. Went to three parties, went out clubbing with two good friends I hadn't seen in a while, went to a new church, got contacts, strengthened a renewed friendship, and re-opened communication with..well with however I'd describe Luke ('friend' doesn't seem quite the right work anymore ). So yeah good times. Oh yeah, and one more thing that's lovely about this time of year. I absolutely love LOVE winter fashion! I've gotten to wear some of my favourite outfits the past couple weeks. I guess it's because there's more to work with in the winter: jackets, coats, sweaters, vests, turtlenecks, scarves, hats, etc. Together they just create an endless opportunity to mix and match and come up with new creations! In the summer, particularly a Texas summer, all one really wants to wear - at most - is a shirt, pants, shoes, a belt, and maybe random small accessories. Winter just offers more possibilities! Anyway, take care everyone and have an awesome day!

Panera is awesome! We have quite a few here I adore the portobello mushroom panini! I think the sex thing sort of depends. I mean I can imagine myself in the place of the guy and after a long trip wanting to get it on, on the other hand, I can readily imagine that after the long trip I would NOT want be in the mood for sex. It could go either way. Similarly the long, hectic day she had might make me eager OR it might completely put me out of the mood. Actually though, I kind of agree with Mark in this instance. If my partner went out of town for awhile and just got back from a long trip I probably would feel some degree of obligation to be 'readily available'. I think that actually is partly emotional though. I would expect his situation to be more emotionally overwhelming than a standard, run of the mill long, hectic day. So IF he was in the mood I would try to make his emotional state a higher priority (similarly if he was not in the mood after such a trip and I WAS, I would try to be understanding). As for as the connection between emotions and sex, well I could see wanting sex (or not wanting sex) in any number of emotional states. However, the emotions I felt toward HIM would be very relevant. If I were angry with him I probably wouldn't be in the mood for sex, and if I did have sex it would probably mean that I was essentially over whatever anger I'd had and was making up. Hmm, ya know one of the oft put forth theories on why people become sexually active before they're ready, or just why people want sex even when they aren't feeling sexual, is that sex equates to intimacy, touching, and affection. There's nothing necessarily wrong with that, but I think it's important to know the difference between needing a hug and needing a blow job

I kinda thought exactly like Greg did. Welcome to the world of gay internet dating, Demetz. I myself actually got stood up by a cyber boy last weekend too. Don't count on that being the worst fate. I've successfully gone out with quite a few other guys in the last few weeks, and believe me many of them I'd just as soon hadn't turned up. Anyway, when I shave my balls it is just for me

So I may have to call it that. Every so often I go through this period during which I keep thinking, "I used to be a much nicer person." I admit that there's every possibility that I did not used to be a much nicer person. Perhaps it's just an illusion, the classic 'good ol' days' phenomenon, but in any case I think I used to be a nicer person. I never used to be judgmental. I always used to try my best to see things from the other person's perspective, give them the benefit of the doubt, that kinda thing. I'm still very pleasant to people on the surface most of the time. It's the thoughts I have that are particularly bitchy. The other day at work this businessman who is associated with a company we use a great deal came in with his wife and two year old child. Now the boy was adorable and a delight. The gentleman was also quite pleasant. His wife... well I really don't have anything nice to say about her. This is why I didn't say anything at all But this is my blog, and I doubt she's reading it, so I'll just say that I thought she was an extremely shallow, snobby, self-involved, bitchy person who is also an all-around cold wife and ineffective mother. Being in her presence grated on me like a very annoying song playing endlessly in my head. Today I met someone - ok technically it was a sort of date - that I was similarly judgmental toward. Now he was a perfectly nice person, and I find no fault with his disposition nor his manners. No, it was his sexuality and self-attitude that I found so objectionable. He is 'bi'. Only in this case 'bi' translates to gay but deeply closeted and with a slough of other issues which I won't enumerate because I pity him. I could go on with similar situations; the point; however, is that 'back when I was a nicer person' I would never have thought these things at all. I'd have looked for something positive in these two individuals. I'd have tried harder to put myself in their shoes before I cast any judgment. I really like my boss. He's such a nice person. Very friendly, very non-judgmental, very considerate, great attitude. He's always trying to helpful and kind to the people with whom he interacts. I could be wrong but I *think* that's how I used to be once upon a time.

Awww Thanks, Dion! If I do find someone who can provide all three of those things I certainly hope I'm not foolish enough to let him get away!

LOL Vic, well I didn't really have any questions per se, but as with many of my blog entries I just wanted to explore a line of thought and ponder things. The bragging about the threesome thing was a total side effect

Yes, from my experience that's very common. At least the no romance part, I don't bicker with my friends that much. I think that being friends again thing is easier said than done though. It's possible, but it's pretty darn tough! Once you've had a romance with someone, especially a failed romance, you can't help but to see them in a completely different light. With my ex-boyfriends I still get along fine with them. We're perfectly pleasant to each other and I can often enjoy their company. However, I find that I'm a bit more critical of them, at least in my head, and that there's also too much 'tension' (in good and bad ways) to make a sustained interaction comfortable.

Hey Corvus, Yeah, I would agree with you on most of those points. I'm sure that when friends DO turn into lovers the relationship (and the sex) is amazing. I just think that's a difficult and potentially dangerous leap to take. Sometimes even if you're willing to take it you may not 'feel it'. I just don't feel it with any of my close friends, but theoretically I would be willing to take that leap under the right circumstances and with the right person. Well, I think what it really comes down to is that when you meet a new gay guy you're better off deciding right away whether or not you want to boyfriends or 'girlfriends'

I don't sleep with my friends. Well actually I don't screw my friends. Sometimes we share a bed in the non-sexual sense. It's always just made more sense that way. Recently, Scott seemed to have been hinting that we might make a good couple again. I stop and look at it objectively and I have to say it makes sense from a detached standpoint. We have a lot of fun together. We spend a lot of time together. We're each other's 'type', and we definitely care about each other a great deal. But just the though of ever doing anything sexual with Scott grosses me out. Don't get me wrong, he is attractive, and if I didn't know him I'm sure I'd want to f**K him (how's that for a classic gay male statement?). But..EEEWWW! That would be like screwing my brother. Literally, it would feel very incestuous to me. It's not just that I would worry about it messing up our friendship if we dated (although that's certainly a part of it), I'd seriously be kinda grossed out about the whole idea. Maybe I'm crazy, but I really think friendship love, romantic love, and sexual lust are very different feelings. Those stories about close friends become lovers are romantic...in theory. I mean it makes for a great romance story, and some hot erotica, to imagine two good-looking guys are such good friends that it just seems natural to cross that line. I'm definitely turned on by the idea and it's definitely very moving and compelling. I just can't imagine it. I've had some REALLY close friends before - Scott is a REALLY close friend - we're pretty damn connected emotionally AND we're physically (but non-sexually) affectionate. So it seems like if those feelings were going to happen they would happen. I had a really hot threesome recently (scandalous I know, but what do you expect with a title that has the word 'lover' in it). In fact, I think it may just have been the best sex I've ever had. It was a couple. I've never 'gotten' the whole couple playing together and having a threesome thing. I'd be mad as hell at my boyfriend for even suggesting it. Well that would be my pure emotional reaction. My calm, rational side would probably prevail and I'd do my best to listen to his feelings and explain mine. But either way the answer would boil down to a resounding "HELL NO!" That said, if other couples want to do it I've always said I thought that was completely their business. In this case I decided that if it wasn't against the terms of their relationship and it was something we all wanted to do then it was okay. And it definitely seemed like something we all enjoyed! I won't share all the juicy details since this is a public blog, but suffice to say it was REALLY good. What made it really good though wasn't just the fact that they were hot and really knew what they were doing. Part of it definitely was the simple novelty and excitement of the whole thing, the wondering about their motivation and what they were thinking (yeah, leave it to someone with a psychology degree to wonder about motivation, thoughts, and feelings while he's f**king someone), but one of the main things may simply have been the fact that I genuinely liked both the guys, particularly the bottom. He was charming, beautiful, intelligent, and a really good conversationalist. I met up with him before his boyfriend got home and we had a really long chat. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation (which was completely non-sexual) and his company. In fact, I was concerned that I wouldn't actually want to screw him anymore because I'd spent to much time enjoying his company in a non-sexual way and casually discussing his relationship with his boyfriend (a four year relationship which seems remarkably solid). Turns out I think enjoyed the experience even more since I'd had time to become so fond of him. It was also nice seeing them interact. There was a certain pure sweetness in their touches that belied the general lust and passion that was floating around the round. We chatted some more after we'd finished and I decided that the top was a really nice, sweet person as well. So I actually couldn't help but think, despite the fact that it was some of the best sex I've ever had, that it was sort of a shame I'd just screwed them since I'd really have enjoyed being friends with them. And I pretty much had already worked out that friendship wasn't in our cards by that point. I'm not sure what sort of arrangement they have, but my guess is that not maintaining a relationship of any kind with the trick is probably a requirement. In any case I've not heard from them again. Some people would be disappointed I suppose, but I'm really not. I'm a firm believer in just happily taking what people are willing to offer, giving freely of yourself, and not having major expectations. So I could be disappointed that I won't get to have a friendship with them, or enjoy more sex with them, but instead I'm content with what we had. It was really nice and that's all I expected and more than enough to satisfy me. The point of that little story wasn't just for the sake of dirty sex talk. It was actually because that encounter is probably the only time I've ever had what I would consider platonic feelings for someone I've had sex with. That isn't to imply that my sexual experiences have been distant and unfriendly, quite the opposite I think the majority of my experiences have been quite warm. I almost always feel positive, caring feelings toward the people I have sex with. But those feelings aren't typically 'friendship' feelings per se. The sexual experiences I've had within relationships have always been emotionally connected and warm, but the feelings were romantic in nature. The non-relationship sexual encounters I've had have been warm and positive, but while I did feel an emotional connection with the people it was one of a more nondescript positive regard. I cared about them as human beings. I took added pleasure in making them feel good, and I wanted them to feel good physically and emotionally. But I would call that a sort of 'affectionate sexual lust'. It wasn't romance and it wasn't friendship. I suppose this 'affectionate sexual lust' has been a part of nearly all my sexual experiences even when there were romantic - or as in the above case, platonic - feelings as well. With the 'affectionate sexual lust' I don't suppose I'd have enjoyed sex with them at all. Indeed upon reflection the worst sexual experiences I've ever had have been situations in which I didn't feel any 'affectionate sexual lust' (or romantic or platonic feelings) for the people at all. Those experiences would be about as close as I come to 'regretting' having sex with someone, but even then I don't 'regret' it exactly. I don't consider the experiences to be negative. I don't find myself harmed by them, and I have no particular reason to think the other people were harmed either, so I don't 'regret' those experiences. I just find myself unsatisfied by them. Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at is that sex without the 'affectionate sexual lust' is pretty boring and unsatisfying. Sex with the 'affectionate sexual lust' but in the absence of either platonic or romantic feelings is perfectly nice and enjoyable. Sex with the affectionate sexual lust AND the romantic feelings is thoroughly delightful. I pretty much already knew all that. What I didn't know was that sex with the affectionate sexual lust and the platonic feelings was really good as well. I had assumed that it would be weird. It wasn't. So what does any of that mean? Nothing really. I guess just that I can readily allow for the fact that sex with friends might not be as strange as I would have assumed it to be. The argument always went that sex with friends was potentially better because the individuals involved cared more about each other's feelings and well-being. That makes sense of course, except that I don't really need to be friends with someone to care about them. I've always really liked people and enjoyed making them happy, and been considerate of their feelings, whether I knew them at all. I'm also more than assertive enough to express my own wants and feelings. So I always thought that just adding friendship into the equation would create awkwardness without any real benefit to the experience. For all I know maybe it still would. I mean I can accurately say that I 'had platonic feelings' for those guys. I could easily have become friends with them, but I certainly wasn't friends with them in the traditional sense of the word. It's not like I'd spent a great deal of time with them or gotten to know them really well. I have always thought that surely the best relationship - and the best sex - would come with someone with whom I felt an intense emotional connection with, a connection with was strong romantically, sexually, and platonically. I've always thought that would be nice. I can't say I've ever loved a boyfriend in that way - all those ways - combined. I suppose that's why I don't think I've ever 'been in love' in the standard sense of the word. I've loved in all those ways, and I've loved in every possible two combinations of those ways, but I've never loved in all three at once. The affectionate sexual lust part isn't particularly difficult, but when it comes to mixing the other two I've always attempted to do it through romance first, friendship second. I always assumed that if you have a romance long enough, eventually the passion would go to the backburner enough so that a friendship would also form and remain - on top of the continuing romantic feelings. I thought that's what 'being in love' was all about. I still do really. I think that 'love at first sight' is nonsense. Lust at first sight is easy. Developing romance from lust is doable. Adding a layer of friendship to that fragile, heated mess seems more difficult, but possible. I always though that was the best route to 'getting the whole package'. However, I suppose it's very possible to do it any order. Maybe one can start with lust, resist - but yet maintain - the lust long enough to form a friendship, and THEN add in the romance. I've never pulled that off. I'll either start with the friendship and have it stop there or else I'll start with the lust, ignore the lust and form the friendship, but then find that the lust is completely gone. Alternatively I'll start with the lust, form a romance, but never bump it up to that top level. I suppose that's why I don't fall for straight friends - well apart from the fact that almost all my male friends are gay. There's really little danger of me falling for a straight friend though. Even if he's hot (and really I'm usually more attracted to gay guys to begin with) if I've had time to form an actual friendship with him it's a pretty good bet the lust is turned off by then. Anyway, I miss talking about sex with William. He's moved even further out of town and I rarely get to see him anymore I miss all aspects of our friendship, but I have to say that discussing sex is one I miss particularly strongly. I rarely discuss sex with my other male friends and when I do it's not all as juicy as the conversations I used to have with William. Still, I've got my lesbians and they're fun to discuss sex with (seriously). I think this may be the most sexual blog entry I've ever written. See what happens when I don't get to discuss this stuff with William?

Happy Belated birthday, Dom! It's great to hear that you're doing okay

Happy Belated birthday, dude Hope it was a good one