For the trans part, I was 9 years old, living in a small town in eastern Tennessee, when I began to fully understand how different I was. I was a total tomboy and my best friend was also a tomboy. I was at her house for a sleepover and her older sister started telling us about Renée Richards, who must have been in the news at the time. It was the most exciting, most revelatory thing I'd ever heard. I remember telling my friend, "When we grow up, the doctors can fix us." My friend and her sister were horrified. That's when I started to understand that my friend wasn't a tomboy in the same way I was. She never thought to herself "I should have been born a boy." Still, I remember laying on my back on the bottom bunk unable sleep, I was so happy. I was so excited thinking that everything would be OK when I got older. I could just go to a doctor and have an operation and that would be it. I'd be fixed. I'd be a boy, just like I should have been when I was born.
For the gay part, I was around 13. By then my family had moved to an even smaller town in South Carolina. I was very sheltered. John Ritter's character on Three's Company was the first time I was exposed to the concept of what it meant to be gay. So then I started thinking. "This is weird. I should have been born a guy, but if I had been, I'd be gay." That scared me. I thought I was looking for ways to hate myself. Why couldn't I just be what I appeared to be - a straight girl?
It would be my late 20s before I got my head around it all and basically came out to everyone I knew. A sex change is pretty obvious so you come out whether you want to or not.