Acedias

Shucks - thanks Nephylim I am pretty pleased with the turn around ... since Blake has such chronic low esteem it was hard to come up with how he might go about dropping the medication ... i guess he had to see how Haze was worse when he wasnt real to apply the same to himself

I think the meds probably were helping Blake but they werent helping me write hehe ... Hard to write emotions when they're stunted and I think as you've noted from the start the story is all about the telling of emotions, so moved them on! But i guess it also reinforces the ongoing irony of the story that the only reason Blake has connected at all with Haze is due to his anxiety which also keeps them apart... and that taking that anxiety away didn't improve his relationship with Haze. As for whats next ... you'll have to wait hehe

Hmmm that's quite a thought provoking analysis Nephylim, it's like you know my characters better than I do! Getting my characters outta this mess is gonna be interesting. Hopefully you'll find the next chapter not as dark at least!

Thanks anyta! The double sided "be real" came to me when someone (I forget who it was ) suggested to me that Haze needed to be the reason the meds exited the scene. Didn't think about the driving under the influence implication ... But the wooziness was supposed to be limited to the double dose day before ... (note: the author does not condone driving under the influence)

Thanks Dark! Maybe Haze is pushing too much too fast ... But from my point of view it's too hard to write/progress Blake drugged up so needed to move that plot device along already hehe ...

“Blake?” A voice, someone was speaking to him. “BLAKE!” “Huh?” he mumbled aloud. He tried to drag his head out of the clouds and back down to earth, hoping he would find it was Haze speaking to him, but also worried by the prospect of that at the same time. “Are ya even listenin to me?” No, not Haze, he thought. Just Nats. “Yeah, ‘course,” he said, aware of the effort it took to mouth the words. He knew he would sound more convincing if only he could stop slurring his

Hey Adamo! Thanks for reviewing my little story. Next chapter is written, I just gotta fix it so will post soon. Its got plenty of Blake struggling and heaps of Haze being a mystery so hopefully you will like hehehehe. I am so glad you are enjoying it :-)

Hey another new reviewer thanks dachcr! Im glad you are enjoying it - more tension on the way i swear ... and more cooking hehe

Yay! A new reviewer - thanks heaps for reading and taking the time to review Clara. The mean little twist you point out is actually proving a bit of a stumbling block I was saying to Anyta and Andy the other day! But its not insurmountable I am sure (else I got no story LOL) - Its funny how you mention being pissed at Penelope. I try to channel Blake when I write about him and I found myself seriously p!ssed at her myself hehe ... anger makes one feel powerful and in control, negates and hides feelings of anxiety and loss of control. People prefer to feel anger - but its whats left when the anger goes that is more interesting. I dunno if you noticed (maybe I wasnt obvious about it) but Blake goes from anxiety to anger whenever he is directly contemplated re his looks. What's that anger hiding?

I know the dreaded cliff hanger huh? Guess I needed some uneventful time to pass (hmmm now who's idea was that?) haha actually I didn't mean it that way, its just how it ended up! Blake was off his game, but he also created the situation by avoiding things. Avoiding stuff never solves anything! ... except when its me avoiding stuff in my own plot of course .. like gettin these two together ...

Penelope turned out pretty awful in this chapter hey LOL i was getting pretty mad at her myself for a bit when writing it. Now I have to write my way out of this hmmmm ....

Blake was thankful that Vicky hadn’t make her way over to join them until after the sun tanning was over, but he had been frustrated by her appearance nonetheless. One minute he’d been happily telling Haze about a dive that went awry in Fiji and the next thing he knew, Haze was gone. Unlike on previous occasions, Blake was actually watching this time. He’d been right there at the moment real Haze vanished. Or rather, at the moment real Haze changed into the other Haze, the more introverted Ha

Hi Nephylim, glad you find it easy to read and can relate to the characters. I guess they are a bit extreme but hey it's fiction :-) I'm also happy u r okay with the glacial pace ... Think I'll have to get a move on in the next few chapters or it will be 2012 before there is a first date!!

Thank you Nephylim! Hopefully that's my love of the underwater world showing thru :-) ... Don't ever let me show you my photos of corals, you'll never get away! haze is taking a roll in calming Blake down huh? More of that next chapter too!

Thanks Anyta! You're always so encouraging, I look forward to your reviews :-) I'm glad you liked the end conversation cause that was the bit that took all the time. I rewrote it a zillion times cause I had this idea what it would be, just not the words that would be said. Anyway thanks again and sorry the nzers were annoying. I didn't start them that way they just ended up like that hehe

Blake was in a pretty good mood as he listened to the boisterous New Zealand couple spin stories about a recent trip to Thailand. Matt had one hand around Vicky’s waist and was trying to cover her mouth with the other as the two of them jostled about on the deck, competing to be heard. They both spoke at once, each eager to add to what the other was saying or to denounce it as not being the whole truth. Pushing and shoving as they argued, their faces were bright red with laughter and exertion.

Thanks heaps for your continuing support!Yeah there is more to Haze than he makes out :-)rest assured I am no where close to the end yet!

Hello again my NZer fan!! ... I'm really glad you liked this chapter, cause although I think it developed the characters I was worried that the lack of dialogue and the detour from the many unanswered questions might make it boring and self indulgent (since most people probably don’t love diving as much as me!). I tried to explain what diving is like (at least my experience) and how it works but without it reading like a text book too much, so told through the characters and what they were doing and looking at to keep it interesting. I am so glad you enjoyed it!!

Blake had been happily admiring a school of tiny electric-blue fish as they darted about the thorny branches of a bright green coral, when he heard a familiar metallic clicking sound. He looked around and saw that it was Haze again, tapping his diving knife against the underside of his air cylinder so as to attract attention. He was a short distance away, floating above a rocky outcrop further down the stepped slope of the canyon wall. Upon making eye contact, he made a slow sweeping motion t

Wow ... You knocked off the rest pretty quick I can't write THAT quick but chapter 8 is done just going to edit (while pretending to work today) and post tonight.... Which is like the day before US time ... Man you should already have it! Yeah I know a thing or two about anxiety huh .... Probably shows thru in my writing. Anyways thanks for your reading and support. Ps who said the nz couple weren't cool? Just cause blames too carried away to notice them doesn't mean anythin!!

You know i must be so sheltered I didn't even notice that was Aussie ... Doesnt everyone say not bloody likely now n then? And what else does one do with a shrimp? It can hardly be eaten raw it requires a barbie!Thanks for reading!!!

Especially in a tiny rural town ... I think I might ease up on Blake for a chapter ... Hmmmm ... Thanks for reviewing nephylim!!

Yeah he is... Maybe I should stop torturing him for a bit and give him a rest

Nephylim! Thanks again for reading my stuff and encouraging :-) ... Panic attacks suck! (in case you haven't guessed from the description, I know a bit about em)

hmmm ... next chapter ... maybe some romance under the sea? Or maybe some anxiety ... Blake is a pretty anxious person ...