Zolia Lily

Sleeping patterns are linked with depression - it's a nice way to escape and not have to deal with the world, especially when depression often means apathy and lack of energy and not enjoying anything. But equally, sometimes depression can result in lack of sleep rather than sleeping too much. I think the only really effective way to overcome it would be to treat the cause and not the symptom (that's given that the sleep is linked to depression and isn't a sleep disorder in its own right). Probably not the most useful answer, I'm sorry!

You'll get there, Marky - unfortunately there's no magic fix for some of these things, but you'll get there. HUGS, sweetie...

My mum found a recipe for a basic roast chicken recently which dad reckons is amazing. At the end, when you let it rest for 10 minutes, the recipe advises you to rest the chicken up-side down, so that the juices "return" to the breast and meat so it's extra juicy. I don't like the smell of meat cooking, so don't tend to cook it and therefore haven't tried this myself! One of my favourite things to make is Quesadillas - with a stickproof pan! I found an easy recipe online and adapted it for my own purposes - but I have noooo idea how authentic it is. Then again - it's tasty, so I don't care. I fry a couple of onions in a small amount of oil, and then add three drained cans of kidney beans, around a teaspoon of cumin seeds and maybe a teaspoon of smoked paprika. Once it's all fried up i turn off the heat and mash it (I use a fork but only because i don't currently own a potato masher (does that thing have a better name?)) until it's fairly sticky. Then we spread the bean mixture on half of our flour or corn tortillas, top with some dollops of tomato salsa, roughly chopped coriander, and grated cheese, then sandwich them with the remaining tortillas. THEN with the stickproof pan you can fry them without needing butter or oil until they're golden on the outside and melty on the inside One of my flatmates likes to eat them with guacamole, and the other likes them with sour cream and more salsa, but I reckon they're pretty good as are. Roughly 2 onions, three tins of Kidney beans, 8 - 10 tortillas (depending on diametre), half a jar of salsa (yeah, I buy it...) and a cup or so of grated cheese go into this recipe.

i've never beleived in making resolutions, but this year I will. For one thing, I need to start practicing self-discipline, and this seems as good a place to start as any. I think it's important to set small, short term goals leading to a main goal. For me, "write more" or "finish something" won't cut it. So, my resolution is to attempt to write a minimum amount of words per week, in order to finish the next few stories on my list... We'll have to see how I get on.......

Hello everyone - I have been VERY absent for a while and feel very out of touch. I hope everyone is getting on okay and looking forward to everything that 2013 may bring! I have had rather a lovely christmas, although it's very strange to spend it without family. It can be a hard time of year. I'm currently making resolutions for the new year, despite the fact that I have grave doubts about my ability to be self-disciplined. I think short term goals are something I need to work on, though. Cultivating friendships (getting better at keeping in touch), writing more (starting a blog might be fun, but possibly a little too ambitious!), excercising.... I think I need to make an effort this year as these really are things that I think will help my emotional and physical well being... Recently, i've been grumpy a lot (i'm going to blame it on winter and SAD), but thinking about what I hate in other people (ohhhh that's a bit strong - dislike maybe...) has given me opportunity to reflect and realise that each person has to be the most important person to themself in life. I don't advocate being selfish or nasty to people, but I'm personally going to stop taking responsibility for anyone else, stop prevaricating, start being honest to myself and other people (because I can't see any point in untruth) and speaking up when it matters and making what matters to me known... All those things which in the end I guess add up to being true to one's self... and i think in the end will make me happier... which is always the aim! Always all the best to everyone! Lily

Thanks so much I'm with you on happy endings - I don't often see much point in a story without one! Glad you enjoyed

My favourite golden oldies of the moment The Kinks - Lola (always and forever ) T-Rex - Children of the Revolution The Animals - Don't let me be misunderstood (those suits!) Fine Young Cannibals - Good Thing ELO - Evil Woman Billy Joel - We didn't start the fire (this was my favourite song when I was three ) And some antipodean songs too Sky Hooks - Horror Movie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7l8rlnMpCI Dragon - Rain Easybeats - Friday on my mind

Heya! Glad you enjoyed it Writing as much as I can atm, but it's never enough. Need more self discipline and, more than anything - TIME!

I had a cat who went through similar. Chica (boy cat. yes. I was 5 when I named him...) was about 10 when his older companion (a cat who probably was around 20 - my parents adopted him as a stray years before I was born, so we were never exactly sure) passed away and he just pined. He aged really fast and was generally miserable. We decided to get him a friend, and went to get a new kitten (introducing another adult cat generally not being a good idea). When we got there, though, there were only two kittens left... and we couldn't just leave one there, so we ended up with both. That may have been a mistake as far as my old cat was concerned. Maybe not. He made a real show out of disliking them and glared at them a lot, but actually, whenever he was asleep they'd curl up right on top of him and love on him, and he'd come and clean them and sleep on top of them as well. It was actually like they all just pretended to dislike each other. Chica got really unwell as he got older - he was going deaf, and had heart murmurs, diabetes - and worst of all, mini strokes - and the kittens actually looked after him. They'd clean him and be around with him all the time. Chica had to be put down a few years ago, and while the kittens really missed him, it was actually better than when our elderly cat passed away, because they had each other as well. Dogs are generally far more social than cats, too - maybe a friend is what he needs? I hope your poor puppy is doing better. Pretty sure you can get doggie anti-depressants from vets if it's something you're really concerned about; but maybe exhausting other avenues first is the way to go. Let us know how everything goes!

Thanks, Warrior - that's true and is a good way to look at it!

Lol it's ok You made me smile, which is a bonus on a day like today. My boss told me I needed a holiday and i started crying. What's WITH that? Grrr... anyway - YAYS!!!!

You know, just decided that maybe I'll come... but I have a friend over who is leaving London on the 8th. Don't know if it's worth it to come on the 8th and then head back on the 9th. Then again... I could take longer and spend more time in my beautiful Paris!!! Maybe i'll start looking up tickets just in cases..... Edit: Ok, so am actually kind of keen on this. Turns out my friend is leaving Heathrow at 11.30 am. I can get a flight out at 13.45 and get to Paris Charles de Gaulle at 16.05. I can bus or eurostar home cheaper later in the week. OHHHH so tempting.... but i feel like i'm missing the point if I miss most of the weekend hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............................

It's a slippery slope, huh. Thought i was just feeling a little homesick and a little tired and a little unwell and slightly PMS-ing and a little weepy and a little confrontational (also, weepy and confrontational is not such a great mix...) and then the lady in HR told me i needed a holiday and then i started crying and now i can't stop. The GP at work asked me if I had hayfever and then I started crying again... i know i'll be ok. Just right now I feel small and so so so sad. I didn't really want to be back here. Hm. Time to start focusing on getting back out.

Have been looking in to this myself, recently. Seems like it shouldn't be too hard.... (fingers crossed!) I'm kind of terrified of starting one and then having nothing to say, though. I mean, I talk enough in real life, but.... Hmm. Anyway. I read some advice somewhere that pretty much said to have ago at writing pieces as often as you hope to produce them before even starting the blog - and making sure your expectations of yourself are realistic going into it... I've got to do that before I get to the creating part of it!

So, I made this friend online. I contacted him about a story he was writing, and he asked me for advice and then it just spiralled. It got to the point that we were spending hours online every night or every second night just chatting. If he hadn't been gay I would have married him. Totally. We chatted from late 2010 until sometime mid 2011. He met his boyfriend and fell in love, changed jobs, moved houses, put his degree on hold, got sick, got mugged... When I left for overseas in May 2011 we tried to keep up the chatting and the texting. It was hard - i didn't have internet always and there was an awful time difference. The last I heard he'd been ill again - back in hospital. I had an email from his boyfriend saying he was doing better and was coming home - and then an email from my friend saying he was home and he was going to tell me everything later but right now he had people over - and then I never heard from him again. I kept sending emails. I was really worried at first, but I tried to just shrug it off. He'd been ill and was busy and they had to move house right in the middle of everything - and I guess I just kept hoping that as long as I kept emailing him and his boyfriend and kept talking to them.... that one day they'd respond. And now my emails to my friend have started bouncing back. His address is "permanently" unavailable. And I don't know what to do. His phone is out of service and his emails bounce - he never had facebook or a second email address. His boyfriend doesn't answer emails and neither does his best friend - but hers was a university email address and if she's graduated then it might be out of service too... And the email bouncing back just suddenly makes it feel so final. Like I'm never ever going to hear from him again and I don't know why or what's happened. He was possibly the best friend I've ever had and I just can't beleive that he'd just stop talking to me. I just can't beleive he'd vanish and not get in touch with me. But i don't want to beleive that's something's happened, either. I just want him to be ok. I've searched online and I've emailed everyone that I know who emailed him as well - and no one is responding to me. So now it seems like the only thing I can do is send hard copy letters to his previous addresses - and hope that someone somewhere knows something. But I'm going to seem like an insane stalker and I'm terrified that no one will respond again... And I'll never know. It happened a couple of weeks ago now- and I cried for days. I'd sent emails for ages - but them starting to bounce back just seems so final. I felt like I was starting to be okay, but I've kind of been down a bit and then today it's really thrown me for a loop and I just want to curl up and cry. It's such a strange situation to be in - and I feel so helpless and useless and so miserable. All I can really do is wait. Keep sending emails to his boyfriend and his friend and send my hard copy letters and then look up and see if maybe I can find his family in a directory online and write to them - to hell with feeling like a stalker. The not knowing is just the worst thing ever...