dughlas

The third and final kilting of the day was a slightly older fellow. He and his lady arrived whilst I was preoccupied with seeking respit for my weary bones. It was until he'd selected a kilt in Dress Royal Stewart tartan. One of the only true tartans we carry because it is so readily available and recognised. I leapt to my feet, yes, yes it was more a matter of rising groaning from the stool I was seated upon. Yes, I recognize I am being verbose but in my defense I spent that last two days as a Scot in Elizabethan England. We use lots and lots of words to say little. Afterall, there's really very little else in entertainment if you already heard the gossip about Angus confusing a Frenchman with one of his sheep. Oh by Woden's one eye, it was Viking weekend hence a Viking curse, I digress once more. In my defense I am worn and weary nigh unto death and much in need of a quiet night's respite. See, lots of words saying very little. What? Oh, yes that third kilting. I've forgotten his name. Let's call him "Yummy" afterall I was gonna turn him into eye candy. Now our lad Yummy was a bit older than the preceding two. I would guess him nigh unto an age with Paige but of an imperial height. I can vouchsafe he was no hobbit as he lacked the large hairy feet. Yummy had broad shoulders, a slim waist and well muscled legs. Most definitely, attractive with warm brown eyes and medium dark hair. He was wearing a light weight denim shirt which nicely coordinated with the blue in the plaid he was wearing. We went through the entire process of the kilt walk. I must say he was prefectly in proportion and looked grand in the kilt. His lady enjoyed it. Sadly, Yummy was not as merry as Andrew and Peter nor was he surly. Dour might best describe him. I think he was not quite comfortable making light of himself so the teasing we do during a kilting and the attention fell flat. Mayhaps in his younger days he was mocked for his size. I was successful however, as I created a truly delightful bit of eye candy. It was a shame he couldn't enjoy it more. Mayhaps another try on a different day we can try one more. That was the third and final kilting of the day ...

More you say. Why am I not surprised. The next lad, Peter, came in with his lady fair. I know this because her t-shirt stated most cleverly "I My Boyfriend" whilst his, yes, you guessed it, read "I My Girlfriend". Now normally I find things of this nature near nauseating in treacle sweetness. However, these two were likely all of 20 and innocently charming. That and I used his shirt to my advantage and asked if he'd ever consider trying on a kilt for the lady he loved. Afterall, did she not deserve a bit of eye candy. Of course she was enamored of the idea. I am sometimes evil in my search of entertainment. Since it was all in the way of making merry Peter agreed. Peter too, was an attractive lad. Slender and nicely muscled as is wont for an active lad. Tall, again 6 foot plus with a mop of dark chocolate curls a la Timothee Chalamet and dark brown eyes. Pink blushed cheeks and full rosy lips, very kissable I'd think. While his bum was not as full and round as the preceding lad Andrew it was tightly muscled and dimpled at the side. What you might consider as being athletic. I wonder if he might have run track or played lacrosse in HS. A prime example of healthy young male. Again I whisked him away to my lair ... er, I mean the quiet back corner to prepare him for viewing. Peter's t-shirt was black and he was fine with bold. I choose a buffalo plaid in black, white and turquoise. Once he was kilted I checked his back side to be certain all was as it should be. Oops a couple of the pleats were twisted. How fortuitous as that meant I need smooth and pet them into place. What?!? I am very subtle ... er, professional. I don't ever suggest I take an inseam just so I can jiggle the googly bits like the tailor downtown. Once all was in readiness I bid his lady join us. Again, shielding him from view. I'll not go through the instructions again since we've just done that with Andrew. The bell rang, we cried "Kilting" and the lad set forth across the shop. Now while Andrew's pleats danced merrily along behind. Peter's swayed alluringly to the flexing of his firm young hams. His lady was delighted and giggled behind me while recording the event for repeated viewing. Peter stood tall and straight while we boldly evaluated his assets before I bid him return. Again having him pause at the mid point so as to appreciate the front view. The lady and I agreed that while the front was truly delightful we really wanted to see the back again. The lad acquiesced, turning about. His first stance was bold and striking but on hearing my instruction to stand with his feet shoulder width apart he narrowed his stance. I was forced to bid him spread his legs for me. Which he promptly did. Hear now, minds outta the gutters there was none oh that sort of goings on. I am a professional but I digress. He stood bold once more with fists on hips. At my request he twisted and looked over his shouler. Now I thought him a young innocent but what gazed at us was an imp with a slightly naughty grin. Delightful. Thus Peter was made eye candy. Are you sated yet or must I continue? Oh, very well ...

I know y'all have been waiting, mostly patiently, for kilt tales. It has been a rather odd season so far. While was excellent the first two weekends we sold very kilt. Last week kilt sales improved dramatically. However, the timing of sales was odd. Not only for us but other shops as well. We stood about twiddling our thumbs wishing for a customer, the suddenly the place was packed to the gills for an hour or so. Then everyone disappeared again, a bit later we were all busy some of us, me, helping multiple folks at one time. That doesn't allow for the more personal attention I am known for. Today was less busy, slowest day of the year. The weather forecast was late day/evening thunderstorms. They arrived just before 3pm. Fortunately, because it was a slow day I had opportunity to do three separate kiltings. Saddly, none of the lads made a purchase but I told the first two lads we were doing the kilting strictly for the merriment. The first lad came in with his lady and another couple. They were all dressed in faire appropriate garb. He was in a white short sleeve pullover and well fitted khaki pants. I say well fitted because he had a very shapely bum. He stood a bit over six foot, had a 32 inch waist and long well formed legs. Have mentioned that a shapely male calf was considered of prime importance during the Elizabethan period. We have the Queen's beloved turtle dove, Robert Dudley, 1st Earl of Leicester for that. But, I digress, Andrew, that was the lad's name acquiesced to becoming a bit of eye candy. Oh, I forgot to mention he was blond, blue eyed and had a charmingly handsome face. Normally he would dress in colors less likely to draw attention. However, since this was strictly for our fun he allowed me to dress him in an eye catching kilt of soft pastels. The base color was a very subdued butter yellow with broad cross lines in turquoise, magenta and soft purple. I know it sounds garish but it's not. We refer to as the Easter egg tartan. When we first introduced it three years ago the master only ordered 25 yards. The majority of those kilts sold within three weeks. We only have this one left because it is a small and it will require a young teen of stout heart to wear it. But again I digress. So in case you do not remember when I do a kilting I typically take the lad to a quiet back corner to dress him. The I call the interested parties to join us. I stand directly behind the lad shielding him from view while the others line up behind him preparing their devices for capturing photo and video memories of the event. The kilt walk begins with me giving soft instructions for lad to walk in his normal gait across the shop. Stopping at the far side of the shop gazing at the varied and sundry this on the other side of our garden. Whilst he is perusing those things we are contemplating his assets ... er, I mean pleats. Now imagine if you might a pair of lovely melons lovingly wrapped in clinging pleats. I rang the bell and cried "KILTING" only to have my cry echoed but my compatriots. Andrew began his walk. Those delighfully muscular hams flexed with each stride causing pleats to swing and sway. When he reached the end of the walk he stood back to us ... we were awestruck. The ladies were sporting ear to ear smiles for the lad was very well hung. He's pleats people his pleats. They draped in loving embrace display his extraordinary fine form. Once we'd had our fill of that view I bid him return to stopping him short about three paces so we could admire the front view. I think I mentioned he had a charming face but really we wanted to see his backside. I bid him turn and stand with his feet spaced shoulder width apart with his fists upon his hips. The stance of a bold Scot. Then I ask him to twist at the waist so he could look his shoulder at us and wink ... that my darlings is the "I'm too sexy for my kilt" pose and yes Andrew was most definitely too sexy for his kilt. Shall I continue on to the next tale or do need to catch your breath and settle your heart? Oh, I neglected to tell you the lad was in his mid-20's.

I suppose Drewdo doesn't count as he's not appeared in any literature other than the DSM-IV.

The soup is free the large bills are to cover the handling and shipping charges ...

Perhaps it wasn't an hallucination but rather a dream.

That's good advice, you might consider following it.

I find them amusing. Be careful what you reply young one I am in possession of a stout Irish blackthorn shillelagh and I know to use it.

My son was in the area for a brief visit. We had dinner together on Tuesday. He's doing well and likes his job just not the politics in Missouri. Blessed be y'all.

We do, but I'm the younger brother and as such am prone to being a bit spoiled. Live with it.

Because I wear the kilt ... and Yeah, what he said.

Thanks. If they continue I most certainly will.

I thought as god you were omniscient as well as omnipotent so it would seem to be within your capabilities. We, as mere humans required time to come to a full understanding of the essential Drewth before we could put a name to the phenomenon. You should take pride in your superior achievement.

Hey, lovey day here too. Currently 74/23° with bountiful sunshine, low humidity and a lovey breeze. I should be outdoors weeding but I'm not feeling myself. Don't know who it is I'm feeling but most definitely not myself ... hehehe, that was punny. Seriously, I've been having some rather serious nosebleeds. Four in the last week, the most recent during my morning walk. They come on quite unexpectedly and last between 5-10 minutes. The blood literally runs from my left nostril. Only way I've managed to stop them is to pack that nostril. This is unusual for me. Sometimes my migraines include minor bleeding but nothing like this. I've had migraine all four days so perhaps that's the cause. Mum wonder if my bp is up or if this is something to do with the Tepezza infusions. If it continues I'll call the doctor. Meanwhile, I'm gonna take a wee nap. Blessed be y'all.

I spoke with mum this morning. She came through the storm without any problems. No loss of power, no flooding, no wind damage. She has not left her house yet so doesn't know if there are problems nearby.

Hey Page,

We have a strict weapons policy and armed constables. In addition some of those kids are as big if not bigger than hobbits.

Albert, I hope your test went well. Man, good luck with resolving the issues with your property management group. B, sweet dreams. The rest o' y'all blessed be. I'm gonna go lie down and hope to get rid of the migraine. Wish me luck. Apparently the folks in Ontario are sending us another round of changing weather.

Nope, we have one at the faire. He's very popular with the little kids.

Oh, dear sweet Clo there are much better double cheese and bacon burgers than those from Burger King.

I make no promises but maybe for your birthday.

Yep, an honorable man.

Jubal's an honorable man not willing to shoot a man in the back even though he likely deserved it. Question is, will that outlaw stick around or high tail it since he's alone.

Back in the saddle ... well, soon as we rope and gentle us a pretty painted pony. It's good to see you posting again. Looking forward to where Jubal's trail takes us.

An excellent tale. Thanks Cia for drawing attention to it.