NickolasJames8
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Everything posted by NickolasJames8
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Moving on with my life after a hard lesson
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There’s a pain in my heart For where we once stayed For the friends I left behind When we moved away Deep in my heart I couldn’t comprehend How we could just leave our family and friends For years I was bitter and wanted to go home I couldn’t seem to grasp What I should have known Now I have to wonder If things were ever so great Was it all a lie A life I chose to create Everyone’s changed and not doing so good or maybe they haven’t changed
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A poem for my mom
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Sometimes I cry while I lay in my bed Too many thoughts swirl around my head Why did it happen What did I do Did I cry to much Tell me the truth Would you and my dad Have ever been married Or was the burden Just too much to carry Did I ruin your life The day I was born I try not to think this way But really I’m torn Would you be proud Or would you feel shame If you knew I was gay Would you have loved me the same Can you see me from heaven
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A poem about my dad
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I used to reach for your hand when I was smaller Now sometimes I push it away. But I’ll never forget how you still loved me the day I told you I was gay. We fight a lot and you still yell at me Every time I act like I don’t care But the truth is I still idolize you From the way that you walk To the clothes that you wear. God blessed me with you But you say that I’m wrong You call me the blessing Somehow you stay strong. You’re the man in my life and you’
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Taking responsibility for what I did to someone I love
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Something I don’t say Something I never do But I have a real need To apologize to you I treated you bad I kicked you when you were down Even though it made you sad I always pushed you around My needs were what mattered I didn’t think about you I was worse than selfish I know it’s all true But you always loved me You didn’t throw it in my face I’m lucky to have you in my life No one could take your place I know it’s already happened
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A hard look at deep, twisted love
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Drenched by the rain you look gorgeous. Your brown, soulful eyes transcend perfection. Your presence in my life is nothing short of a miracle. When you smile, my head spins the way it did the day we met. The memories we share are incredible, and if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change one thing. From the good times to the bad times, I would want to go through it all again as long as you were still there for it all. I live for you and I’d die for you. You’re my best friend, and compar
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A fathers day poem
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I give you trouble all year long I can’t even remember To mow the lawn I bug you for money I ask for more things I never say thanks For the gifts that you bring I know you work hard To give me this life You always look tired When you get home at night So I take off your shoes and bring the remote Get you a soda and hang up your coat It makes me feel proud When you get home from work But I never tell you and I feel like a jerk But this i
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I pedaled as hard as I could down the sidewalk, my overstuffed backpack in tow. I was in a different neighborhood, but one not too far from where I lived. The surroundings weren’t exactly familiar, but they intrigued me as I hung a hard right and rode up a long, quiet residential block. When I say I rode up it, I mean I was literally riding up hill. I had to get away. I needed time. Time to think about things. Everything. My conscious was betraying my sense of logic. I knew it could all b
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The gasp was loud. I know because it came out of me as I sat straight up in my bed. I covered my face with both of my hands, cupping them over my nose as I took a deep breath and gathered my senses. I used the ends of my middle fingers to wipe the sleep from the corners of my eyes, then I looked around slowly, trying to let my eyes get used to the darkness that surrounded me. The shadows on the wall and floor were a cruel reminder of the nightmare I had just been having, and as if to try to bloc
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“Are you sure it’s okay, dad?” I asked, looking at his expression carefully for any indication that he might be fibbing. The two of us had been bonding a lot lately, and I wanted him to know that my loyalties would always lie with him first. He gave me a warm smile that told me I had his blessing, so I dialed my mother’s number to make my own arrangements to meet with her. Our kitchen and dining room were separate, but at the same time, they were open to each other.If I was sitting at the tab
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“Just what exactly are you planning to do with that?” was the question I was confronted with as soon as my dad spotted what I had in my hands. The look on my dad’s face was hard to read, but judging from the way he was looking at my hands, I’d have said that at that moment, he was in over his head and he knew it. On the other hand, though, I was completely in touch with my own feelings. It was rather liberating, in my opinion, to be standing in his presence with the large plastic contraption
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When I was a lot littler,I used to confuse a lot of words. Some of them sound so much alike that it’s easy to do, especially when you haven’t had a lot of exposure to them. Two words I used to mix up a lot were deaf and death. I used to say that people with a hearing disability were death, and more often than not, those around me didn’t correct me. As I got older, I realized that it was because those two words do sound a lot alike, and they probably hadn’t picked up on my error. It didn’t matter
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“Tell your daddy what you did,” my grandma said in a tone that said I had no choice, cutting her eyes at me in a show of disapproval. “Go on, tell him.” I gulped and looked up at my father, who had an amused expression that took me by surprise. I nervously grabbed the top of my tie and fidgeted with it, moving it back and forth as I looked between my dad and my grandmother, who looked less than pleased with his smile. “Go ahead, Kevin,” he said, trying to keep a straight face as he placed
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“Come on,” I said excitedly as I dug my key out of my front pocket and inserted it into the deadbolt, turning my head to address Justin, who was standing at the foot of the front porch with an unsure look on his face. “It’s okay. My dad gave me the key this morning and said I could show you if I wanted to.” “Alright,” he said apprehensively as he slowly approached me and waited for me to open the door. Once I was inside, I turned to the keypad on my left and punched in the code, my date of bi
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“A counselor?” I asked nervously as my dad concentrated on the winding road, his high beams giving him the light he needed to navigate through the dark. “I think it would be for the best, son,” he said decisively as he nodded. “It can do the both of us some good, Kevin. I think this is what we need to do.” I sighed heavily and thought back on everything that had been said between us. Not just that day, either, but literally everything. I swallowed some air with a gulp and resigned myself t
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“Why aren’t you dancing, Kevin?” I heard a raised voice say from behind me. I turned just in time to see Justin’s brother with Kate on his arm and a beer in his hand, holding the beer up as if to toast me. He was obviously drunk, and his speech was a little slurred, but he must have been in better control of himself that I thought, because he made his way to the middle of the garage with his girlfriend in tow and started to dance. He wasn’t too bad, either. In fact, he had skills. His every
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“Are you ready?” my dad asked as we looked out the windshield of his truck over the sea of cars. I was able to easily recognize the red Dodge Caravan that I thought I’d never see again. I took a deep breath and gave my dad a silent nod as I slid across the seat while he opened his door. He got out of the truck and stepped to the side, allowing me to climb down, then he fixed my collar and brushed my bangs out of my eyes with a gentle stroke of his hand. “Kevin are you sure this is what yo
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“You ready buddy?” my grandpa asked, pulling away from the breakfast table and tossing his napkin down on his plate before heartily patting his fit stomach with his hands and standing up. “We need to get a jump on the day. Your dad’s going to be home before you know it.” I nodded my answer as I held my cup to my lips, trying to down the last of my milk in one gulp, washing away the half of a piece of toast I had shoved into my mouth in order to hasten our departure. When I was done, I jumpe
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“You stay where you’re at!” George snapped tersely at Mark as he walked toward Justin and me. We knew we were standing in the middle of a path between two men who obviously knew each other. We also knew we were standing in the middle of a path between two men who were angry with each other. My dad seemed to get over his initial shock, and the look of discomfort on his face was replaced by one of disgust. I saw his fists tighten up, and I knew there was going to be trouble. Mark ignored Geor
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“Are you excited?” Justin asked, eliciting a smile and a happy nod from me. “I can’t wait,” I said, feeling like I had just struck gold. “We’re going to have so much fun. I haven’t been camping in forever.” “I’m excited too,” he said, scooting over so that our sides touched lightly. “I’ve never been camping in my life.” “Never?” I asked incredulously. “Wow. Wait and see, you’re going to love it.” “Tell me what it’s like,” he said, turning onto his side and propping his head up on his
