Mark92

I know what you mean Y_B. I saw a shrink once, for about ten minutes before I kicked him of my land. He was a snotty nosed prick who took one look at me and said I should be in care. I bet he wasnt as experienced as I am and was with farming. And that's from the ripe old age of twelve. I growl when I think about him. Hugs all

I have no words too say Joe. Just a huge lump in my throat. I cannot send you enough hugs You should publish that by the way. I hope things are getting better for you. It happens like that sometimes, like, When does the good stuff start happening? The law of averages says it must be soon. Until then you have the love and thoughts of everyone here Joe. Stay strong my friend.

Our thoughts are with you Joe whatever your emergency and even when it isnt one Be strong and stay strong my friend

Whatever it is, it's writing and you love it

I answered you in PM Bee

Sometimes Bee it's hard to stay focussed on who the real friends are. I think it's me you are refering too. I hav'nt gone anywhere. I just ask for a little time to fix myself and my surroundings. I am actually sleeping now. I go to bed about midnight. And because of my hard working farmhands I can actually stay in bed. And let them do it. They even offered me a week off, total lazyness for one week. I dont know if it's possible for me to give it up for that long. But I am beginning to get into a routine. I am here Bee just dont expect me to be at your beck and call.

I do hope you are getting better Harold Mike, I hope things are improving. Time does heal some of it. I have to believe that. I have overcome a few struggles. But there are so many more too. But I am getting there. And so will you, all of you. Belief doesnt have to be religion, it is hope and maybe things will work out.

OK Mister now you need a kick up the backside. Makes a change huh?? Take as long as you need to take, leave my stuff till last. You are more important. so sort yourself first. Love you Unc, take care

Thank you Joe that was heart warming. And your writing is a part of you. I really believe that. Also thank you so much for the poem. It made me puff out my chest and feel stronger Not many know I call Comicfan Unc as in Uncle. He has always been there for me. Besides beta'ing and editting. He's there to kick my arse when I get down. He has made me rethink so many times. To me he's close family. I dont have a real one. You are such an awesome, amazing man Unc. Dont let it get you down. You deserve so much more and you need to know that. Put on your Yorkshire cap, stick two fingers in the air and say " Fuck em all".

Sometimes I am so glad I dont live in the real world Unc You are so much better than he is. And you deserve so much more. I felt so mad at that guy, And I dont do anger. You know what I say onwards and upwards Unc

That is so beautiful Joe Thank You You have made me feel stronger. Thank you again

Thank you Comic , Oh wise one How is everyone coping ?? I was having an erotic dream last night that turned into a nightmare. For no apparent reason. Was tossing and turning the rest of the night. Oh well I'm still here LOL Hugs all round

Clara that was hilarious hahaha I really did laugh out loud. And Latex not my thing at all, but sounds fun. I have those sorts of toys too. But hidden away until my man gets here. Its easy getting the wood and all shapes and sizes too, as I have my own wood, I mean as in trees Loads and loads of hugs Clara I cant say I know what that is like. The only person I know who died was my mum and I wasnt sorry for that. I feel for you though, I really do. I got all the condolences and "it will all be better with time," And I guess that should work. I am out of my depth here and dont want to say the wrong thing. But if you need a scream, a rant or just a shoulder, its here Thanks for your imput Comic My goals are so varied. The biggest is getting through the gate, you know that one. Smaller ones are like getting out of the habit of lobbing LOL and eating with a knife and fork, some so silly and small. Mostly habits from isolation and not interacting. But of my own making. I'm not laying blame anywhere. all

I really laughed at your little facey up there Y_B And like I said not actual places smaller than a town. You are very safe dont worry. I am lucky not to have any debt. So good luck to you on your goal A good Idea that, about goals. I have so many its difficult to sort through them and make just one a priority. And with so many do I workl on the smaller ones while trying to do the main one? I will have a think and talk to my main man Hugs all round

Awwww thanks Comic No more boy Mister I'm all man Hahahaha Its like Lukeys girls. One is just nine but of course she is nearly ten, the other is seven but so so nearly eight. LOL A boy in most ways, but always a man when it matters

WOW you lot have been busy and Hi all I'm trying not to be private any more. I've been a secret most of my life. Most of you know the bad stuff by know. And if you want to ask anything? you will get an answer. I'm not hiding anymore. I am me, Mark Lewis, What is good and what is making me happy. Is everyone here, everyone being good and nice to each other, and hopefully helping. Until I can get through the gate. I have 10 acres to play and enjoy. I also have the internet. I use google map to find the places you live. I dont mean addresses but the states the countries. I will go down a street and look at the houses or shops. If I find something interesting I look it up. Eating for example, until Lukey and Baz came here, I had never had a take-away meal or convenience food. Now I have it two or three times a week. I dont know if that is a good thing or not? But I am beginning to copy them and do my own healthier versions. Have any of you made a significant change to your lifestyle? I mean as in an attempt to self cure to any degree. Stay happy people

Cute Y_B And you could never be dorky KC

Thanks Rustle It's always good to have someone more experienced to give a kind word, or support.

Awww Y_B I dont look at it as complaining. What I actually do now is come here and have a rant or moan if I need one.. Everyone in this thread has those days. Probably most of GA does in some shape or form. Rant and rave as much as you like here. W_B . Thats what its for. Someone will always reply with a shoulder or a kind word or just to say. Get off your arse and do something about it. I never did the whole school thing, but you can bet someone here has been, there done that. You are in good company here W_B. And there is always a hug

Hahahaha no no splinters Tob, sanded until they are as smooth as silk, and then a long soaking in special oil to make them completely waterprrof and safe.

Awwww thanks guys I really am just me LOL I did tons of writng yesterday. So things are on the up again. My dark side as I call it. Twists things round until it can say them back to me in a nasty way. It's hard to explain. I have had several offers for this place. Usually they go straight in the bin. But sometimes I day dream of what I could do with all that money. I'm not short now, but that much? And then I think about what I DO really haver here. And more importantly what I would do without it. This is what I know, work and home life. The toys Joe restraints, cuffs, wooden dildo's, stuff like that. Restraints and cuffs are really expensive and can be easily made. And the wooden dildo's? well who likes plastic. And anyway i'm recycling Hugs to everyone

Hey guys I whittle wood, like make things and stuff I have several canes as in walking canes. I suppose I could easily fashion the other kind too I made my own animal pens. I am just starting to become a cat breeder. But thats more in the paperwork and showing stage. I cant breed Xyla until she is at least champion. But she is on her way, becoming second best kitten in her first showing. She's small yet. Noah is neutered, so he's not up to the job. But the breeder where I got them from is the top breeder in the country for that breed. And their pedigree's are awesome. If I need a lot of something, thats made of wood or metal or leather, stuff I can take to bits and make my own versions. I'm doing naughty toys right now So keeping myself busy has always been good until recently. When everything started with a heavy sigh followed by a "I cant be arsed." Did some writing today, first time in a couple of weeks, so I'm getting back on top of it all. hugs all round

Hey Folks a little better today. I've been out to my woods and made sure the wildlife is all ok. And just sitting on a log thinking about absolutely nothing seemed to help. I talk about my woe's easily now Roan, it was hard at first. But the more you tell it, the easier it gets. There is still a lot inside that hasnt come out yet. And the more I tell, the bits come forward for their turn. There is some parts I guess I will never reveal, and a lot I will never remember. But as they come forward, I will set them free, to unclog my head somewhat. With Stuby doing more and more classes at Uni, and more homework to do when he gets home. I find myself with more and more time, to do nothing. I need a distracting hobby. Away from the PC, But what? I have no idea. Hugs to all .

Awwww thank you so much Bugsy Nice to see a fresh face here too. You're very welcome to say something that might inspire or help us here Thanks again Bugsy

Thanks Joe back atcha It's still with me today, I dont know maybe something will just click into place and I will be up again. And Its not really that i'm down, more I cant be arsed. I'm happy enough I guess. Lukey and Baz are big enough and ugly enough to look after themselves LOL. They get plenty from me. Anyways take care peoples