B1ue

Hush little baby, don’t say a word Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird It was my niece’s favorite nursery rhyme. Always calmed her down, usually put her to sleep. Even when I sang it, which, I will admit, is no experience for the discriminating. Her tastes have complicated since, but what can you expect out of a three-year-old? I was fourteen myself, singing loudly if inexpertly. I had to be loud to drown out the pounding of my sister, who was at that moment trying to break down the locked door I was behind. A step back. My sister is a drug addict. Arguably has been my entire life, certainly for as long as I can remember her. She has given up all six of her children to other to raise. This is the one positive thing I can say about her, that she, when lucid and in the few moments she’s been sober, recognizes that she’s no mother. This was not one of her sane moments. And if that mockingbird don’t sing Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring We were visiting my aunt at the time. My mother, another of my sisters, myself, and my niece. We knew the dangers, that my sister had shown up from time to time at my aunt’s house, demanding money or help or whatever until she could be sped back off on her way. My aunt lived with her adult son, a grandson near my age (who was quite a bit bigger than I was, if younger), and one of her son’s friends. She never encountered much resistance from my sister before they made her see sense. But we had my sister’s child. And she was just lucid enough to realize it. “You stole my baby!” she had screamed at us. “Give me back my baby!” She lunged at us, my niece and me, between the arms of my other sister and my mother. “My room!” My cousin yelled at me, not even looking at me as he joined the fray. His nephew also stepped between, helping them push her back a room. There were four of them against her, but my sister was motivated and painless, and was not yielding easily. I grabbed my niece up with the seconds they bought me. I did not for a moment resent being sent to safety. I was, besides the toddler, by far the smallest and lightest of everyone in the house. If someone had to stay with her, keep her calm, I was the natural choice. And I would have one other edge. “Hey,” he yelled at me. I caught his eye for one second as I closed the door with my foot. “Top drawer,” he told me. I door closed on the sight of my sister, somehow, struggling past them all. I worked the deadbolt while juggling my crying niece, blessing his teenage needs that drove him to install that locked that I only barely started understanding myself at that age. Seconds later, my sister was pounding on the door, yanking hard on the knob, but we were for the moment safe. I used the time to check the top drawer. It was what I thought: his quite illegal knife, very sharp, as long as my forearm at the time. You’ll still be the prettiest girl in town. My niece was as calm as she was likely to get, with all the pounding on the door. They’d wrestled her off twice, but she still kept on. My aunt had called the cops, but it wasn’t like they were in a hurry. In that neighborhood? With a Mexican family? Better to pick up the piece than to become one, they’d say. Have said. To our faces. But as the door, which unfortunately was not as well made as the lock, began to give, I knew I didn’t have their luxury. I kissed my niece on the forehead. “Close your eyes,” I told her as gently as I could. She hid her head underneath the pillow, and I hoped she would not peek. I am not strongly built. My sisters took after their football playing fathers, but I took after our cheerleader mother. Quickness and balance were my strengths, not strength. But I trusted my sister’s blind rage, surging past all the obstacles we could throw, to do the hard work for me. It would have to be enough. I checked once more my nieces’ face was covered, and as calmly as I could picked up my cousin’s knife.

Oh, no. I didn't mean his behavior was unrealistic. Just contemptible. If his spending was spread out, I could at least understand how it happened. But all it once, I am more likely to just dismiss him as someone too irresponsible to take care of a cat. Edit: And say what you will about how it's easy for me to judge him harshly for his actions. Look again at his actions and tell me it isn't worth being judged harshly. This behavior, if left unchecked, could prove disastrous for him. And unless someone gets him to think about what he's doing, he may very well resist any kind of checks others might provide. It's all very typical, yes. But as I said, I expected better. I would expect better of anyone. Edit 2: Also, I'd have less of an issue with this if the money he's currently blowing through wasn't given to him in order to educate and start him out in life. Brad blew quite a lot of cash during Millenium, and it didn't bother me. But he'd earned that money, made it with his own effort, albeit with a pretty damn good head start. Gathan got handed an opportunity that many would, and have, killed for, and he's spending it on a fricking pen. So, yeah, I dislike this development of his character.

And if this spending binge had been more spread out, say over the course of his freshman year (which it almost certainly would), I could see this as more forgivable. No less stupid, but understandable. Because you're right, I've seen people spend a little here and a little there and suddenly be broke. But blowing thorugh all that, all at once? I don't know if this is a symptom of a deeper problem or just immaturity. I hope the latter; people can grow out of that. Also, Method, this is the third or fourth time this week you've mentioned JJ is level-headed and not going bonkers over someone. Is there something you want to share with the class?

I know better than to spend outside my means. I knew that at 18. I also have the basic lack of trust in my circumstances to wonder always where my next meal is coming from, though I've long since left behind the days where I had to skip meals to pay for things I needed. I assummed Gathan would be similar, and clearly was wrong. A lot of my friends did not, of course. Mine was the first of the overprotected generations, and many of my peers had no clue how to function without their parents making very basic decisions and functions for them. The second week of college, I trooped half my floor down to the laundry room and taught them how to operate a coin-machine and the importance of using cold water with dark clothing. There were follow up lessons in cooking, cleaning, and crafting a budget. So yes, I do expect quite a bit out of an eighteen-year-old. I know even the hopeless ones are not.

Damn it Gathan. I expected better of you.

Not a scientific sample, but Oregan Trail came up in passing several times while I was at college, and no one ever had to explain what it was. It's possible they were pretending, but I doubt it. It is probable all three boys played it at school. And, also, these are California kids. The Donner Party and Gold road stories feature pretty prominanently in our public school history lessons, disproportionate to the number of people that can actually trace their ancestry to that era (most California families do not predate 1950, for all that there were big migrations in the 1850s and 1930s).

This is exactly what I'm talking about. How do you know, without being inside of Gathan's head, that it isn't close? How do you even know what exactly he feels? Do you know, truly, how he feels or sees the world of his sister? Or are you just assuming because you cannot imagine anyone else being different from yourself, who did not have such protective feelings until you had a child of your own? Bet that bitch that dumped her kid in the dumpster would have totally understood Chris Hendricksen's point of view. Those jackasses that abort their daughters simply because they aren't sons, or that rape their daughters simply because they can, would completely concur that the world is a dangerous place for their children. You're right, there is some universal truth that gets revealed when you become a parent. My mistake.

Gathan could have been more polite, or could have been less defensive from the get go, but I too am unconvinced that would helped anything in the long run. He'd never be good enough for Kristen in Chris Hendricksen's eyes, and there was no way Hendricksen was going to treat Gathan as if he had any opinion of his own that was worth mattering. Doesn't even necessarily have anything to do with class, I run into that phenomenon all the time with people that have children when they are talking to people that do not. You're just not considered an equal until the condomn breaks, whatever life history or experience you may or may not have.

So, I suppose it'd be irrellevant to mention that my family vacationed in Palm Springs a lot when I was growing up, since the lot of us enjoyed being out in the desert and it was relatively inexpensive. The Living Desert is pretty cool, and spending an entire week next to a pool in a place that at 2 AM is still over 80 is my idea of a good time. I was not aware of the gay parts of the city until much later, of course. I agree that Palm Springs doens't sound like it'd have appealed too much to the Cramptons, but enjoyment is where you find it. I always enjoyed the trips out there. Edit: *pats Jeremy* I know it seems like we gang up on you a lot, but we're really quite attached to our areas down here. Just think of all the ways you've positively contributed to the stories so far, and keep trying to do so. We're really just here to make sure no one steps on themselves.

I live to serve. But don't go wasting coffee like that!

The biggest brat/diva we've encountered in recent history has better emotional control than Will? Are we reading the same series? He may or may not be as romantic as Will, we don't know yet, but we do know the boy has a short fuse and gets easily jealous. I can guess that if he'd walked in on John screwing Zach when John and he had an understanding, the entire world would have known about it, and he'd have been a spitting ball of fury. A small, furious ball, like an angry snowcone with nails and teeth and impeccable taste in handbags.

Personally, I think gauged earings look creepy as hell. Automatic -8 on the 1-10 scale of hotness, unless they are willing to cover their ears during sex. But hey, I'm just a hick. I will never understand cool. Actually, I'm sort of vague on the whole hipster concept. I know it's a word, and that's pretty much it. Is it the same idea as yuppie?

For some reason, this song reminds me a bit of JP, and his tendency to give sleeping dogs a swift kick in the ass. And in the course of finding this video, I wandered through a lot of older country and rock, such as "Me and Bobby McGee," "Ode to Billy Joe," "Where Have all the Flowers Gone," "Driving Ole Dixie Down," "Stand by Your Man," and "Crazy." Damn but I love a lot of these songs, and so rarely hear them. Thank you internet.

I disagree. At the least, he could not help her in the manner in which he did without revealing his parentage, since they were clearly ready to dismiss his known relationship with Kristen and the Hendricksen family as irrelevant on the basis of blood. That he is a realtive through his brother was brought up specifcally and dismissed. Remember the difference between the general and the specific. I actually know a couple that got married at 18 right out of high school, and proceeded to go through college together. They didn't even go to the same school, though they were both relatively close to each other and they were able to cohabitate. I agree it is vanishingly unlikely, but so is the idea that Jim and Stephen and then JP and Billy were born so close to one another. I wonder what the long term consequences of several of Will's choices are going to be. For John to blow up at Will over this would be interesting, but not particularly damning. For someone like, say, Zach or Drew, or that tool Berto blew off, who don't have familial reasons to keep this quiet, for them to get a hold of this somehow... that would be entertaining.

Well said, Mark. The standard deviation is at it's widest during these years, and what some 13 to 14 year olds are able to handle, others wouldn't be. I actually look forward to Brad's reaction. On one level, he's going to be "That's my son you're defiling!" and on the other, he's probably going to be fighting off the thought that his son is kind of a stud. And it WAS for charity.

Neither were quite a few of my friends. Look, Mark already said he's not taking the story this direction, so I'm not really worried about it. And, it's fiction anyways, so I was never actually worried. But still, let me lay out my logic so you can see where I'm coming from. Will is an introvert, has very few friends that he actually cares about, and most of them are straight. Those that aren't straight are related. It's (barely) possible he genuinely doesn't quite grasp how attractive he is; he grew up comparing himself to John, and I know EXACTLY how image scrambling it can be to have a close cousin who is very attractive around. I also get the impression that John is a fair bit smarter than Will, and doesn't take himself as seriously, and has better people skills, Will excepted. None of this helps with self-image issues, though the bigger dick does. I don't think, and don't read, that he actually resents John, but if he wasn't so into him since forever, he'd probably spend his entire life resisting the urge to choke a bitch. Which actually makes me wonder how JJ feels about the both of them. I'm picturing Will and JJ joking about potential spouses passing the "John" test, where they get to meet their cousin, and if they make it the whole night without having or attempting to have sex with him, they are approved. But now, now John and his good opinion have been packed back off to the Bay Area, JJ, his other lodestone, has been growing ever distant, and Will has been surrounded by people that cannot get enough of him or his looks. Gathan, that kidnapper guy, Berto have all risked and given much for just a few moments of Will. And it isn't like they're alone. That kind of attention, and the circumstances that surround the attention, can be heady. Enough to make him want more, even if he had never craved such attention in the first place. Behaviors like that are called addictions for a reason. One taste can be all that you need, or it can be the one thing that makes your life make perfect sense for the first time. AND WILL CAME. You're going to try and tell me that someone that got off that completely isn't going to try and seek it again, somewhere else? Somewhere safely, I assume, and Mark's promised, but somewhere, nonetheless. On the topic of habits of mind, I'm unconvinced JJ would explode once free of the skating queens. He's going to be too repressed, and willingly so, for too long to just break out that fast. Not everyone needs to go through a slut phase, and even some that do don't exactly brag about it, and JJ just might be one such. It's be unusal for this family, I admit, but black sheeps come in all shapes. The only way I can see JJ ending up as a crazy party kid is if he and Zach team up to form the Anti-Gathan League, and his bad habits rub off on him. And... now that I've had that thought, it's actually a little daunting. JJ needing so pristine an image, and blundering into a camraderie with the kind of person that would sell him out in a heartbeat. Will would go absolutely apeshit, for excellent reaosn, but Zach would have by now the ability to charm JJ into believing he's changed. Hmm... Mark, no. Or, rather, yes, but only if the sex is hot. JJ could use a loosening up, even if he does wind up straight.

And yet, the average age where someone lost their penetrative sex virginity remained 18 at the end of the 90's, when I was 13. I was acquainted with several people in college that retained that virginity even into their senior year of college. How or why they did this, I have no idea, but I can't recall anyone thinking the less of them for it. And no, they certainly weren't losers. Actually, one girl was the best looking girl on my hall, which caused every single male and a couple of the females to blue screen when she revealed her choice. Also, I'm confused. When aren't honor roll and jock students expected to be sexually early active? Anyone who stands out gets noticed, you know? Not totally true. Some have an issue with thirteen-year-olds screwing around. I don't in this instance, because he's a mature and mentally ready to start going at it, but not all thirteen-year-olds have that level of maturity. Hell, not all thirty-year-olds have that, but that's another argument. As I've mentioned, my family is and was pretty permissive. My sisters think I'm a slut, being gay, so they find me more relatable now than when they thought I disapproved of their life choices. When I got into fights, the question wasn't "Why did you hit him," but, "Did you win?" My niece is a total dork, so I doubt she's going to be hooking up any time soon, despite looking a fair bit older than her actual age. If she was a bit more people saavy, my sisters and I would be sneaking her condomns and giving her enough advice that hopefully she'd know better than to waste her affections on a loser from our hometown. Sex is one thing, no need to get attached is all. We'd also be letting the air out of her tires. No reason to make it easy for the little ankle biters.

I'm kind of on Matthew's side on this. It can happen as you say (in fact, that's a fair way of describing my own early twenties), but more often, in my experience, people become partiers and exhibitionists by habit and don't stop at all. It's like, for a lot of people, college or your first years out of the house are in a twilight zone where you're expected to be a moron, and are allowed to run riot for a couple of years, but are also to get back to your real life/personality once that time has passed. But for people that start early and often, that is their real life. They are calmer about it, because experience makes them better able to deal with the consequences, but they don't stop seeking some thrill.

There's a Martina McBride song out now that probably captures well Stef's feelings. "Remember when we used to be/everything they'd ever need, we had them believing we were cool. It's like it happened overnight/we're always wrong; they're always right. We used to be the ones breaking the rules. Now we're just mothers, we're just fathers/of teenage daughters." And I think, in his shoes, I'd have been a bit more appalled at Will's behavoir.

Track. I ran cross and played soccer, but I was about the only one, since they happened at the same time. And my high school didn't have a formal cc team anyays, so it wasn't like I stepped on anyone's toes. Besides, my dad and older sister both ran cross country, and I lived in an area where I could practice every day just getting the mail (a two mile run, one-way, a full five mile jog if I came back the long way). I agree with you on golfers, but as I didn't consider them athletes anyways, they don't count. Didn't meet too many tennis players, but the few girls I did know were absolutly fierce on the court. It was that or go home. Same with the gymnasts, and a surprising number of cheerleaders, the ones that treated cheerleading as a sport and not a way to meet guys, anyways. Almost every surfer I've ever met, including my own mother, was a stoner, so of course they're mellow. I didn't even know there was such a thing as sailing teams. I'd lump them with the golfers, except they have to be awake a bit more, I think.

Tim, most track guys I knew were pretty aggressive, if for no other reason than they weren't primarilly track, just Soccer or Basketball guys keeping shape in the off-season. Soccer players are some angry little peanuts, if, fortunately, they are less able to inflict mayhem than football players on account of all their running..

I could have had a license at 16 in theory. However, the "terrible at driving" had to be factored in, so I didn't actually get one until closer to 18. The age restrcition would not have applied to me in any case, since I lived in a rural area and needed a car to get to and from school. Or, I would have, had my best friend, my cousin, and a couple of girls that thought I was cute not lived within a couple miles of me. Or I didn't just run it for the hell of it some mornings. Edit: Actually, for the first six months of a license, you are not allowed to give anyone under age 18 a ride without an adult (age 25+) present in the car. Or, maybe it's the first year. I can't remember; I'm sure that particular law is still available. Heck, the DMV manual from 2003 is probably available in pdf.. So, no brother bonding until they both have a license anyways.

I took Driver's Ed first sememster my freshman year, August 1998, though I wasn't eligible to take the written test until August 1999. So Will might have taken the class either semester. You're just expected to brush up on it prior to taking the offical exam. It may have changed, but the Life Skills class was during that time a standard freshman class, with one semester devoted to Driver's ED, the other to Sex Education, with some drug prevention education crammed in between. My little rural high school actually had a comprehensive and very good sex education class, much better than was typically offered at the time. Probably even more so now. Keep in mind though, I went to a public school, and a private school may have it set up differently. They may choose to not offer the class at all, and parents would be expected to enroll their children in an off-campus classroom course. Also, as an aside, that movement has gained traction in California. Most teenagers now are not going to be able to get a permit or license until they turn 18.

You took drivers ed freshman year, driver's training (on the road 6 hour course) once you had your permit at 15 1/2 months. Tim, that picture was from last month. He's admitted that because he's come out, his prospects for furhter competition are slim to none, so he reeally had no reason not to do an event like LA Pride.