Drew Payne

Tim Fountain set out here to explore Britain’s sexual highways and byways, to explore the fetish clubs, swingers’ clubs, dogging sites and much, much more. He didn’t want to just observe but to explore and experience the sexual underbelly of Britain, the side of Britain that isn’t celebrated in the guide books, well most of them. The result is this book, but it’s more than just a chronical through one man’s sexual adventure. What lifts this book is Fountain’s style and perspective. He doesn’t make fun of or caricature the people he is writing about, he tries to get to know them instead, even when those people are caricaturing themselves. His descriptions aren’t salacious or voyeuristic, this isn’t soft porn masquerading as serious writing. Fountain’s writing does have a strong feel of place, and many of these places are sadly seedy. So many of these clubs are housed in rundown places, as if the venue reflects the embarrassment the participants feel. Fountain’s feeling for place is at its best with his description of a heterosexual brothel, housed on a rundown Manchester industrial estate. Fountain wrote this book after writing and performing his one-man play Sex Addict. He had come out about having sex with over 5,000 people and been labelled a pervert by the mainstream media for that. This book was written after that and seems to be his way of exploring what is labelled “abnormal” by the same mainstream media. But this book is as much about Fountain as those he’s writing about and this adds to the satisfaction of this read. Throughout the book he is emailing and flirting with a man called Richard, who lives in Glasgow. They met after Richard saw a production of Fountain’s play. This anchors the book in Fountain’s own story. This book was written in 2008, before dating apps, but Fountain charts how much dating and hooking-up had already moved online. So much of this book wouldn’t have been possible without the internet, Fountain wouldn’t have found a fraction of these different groups without it, he made so many contacts via the internet and forums on his laptop. Fountain’s prose and insights lift this book into the fascinating read that it is. This isn’t a smut book, as its title and cover might suggest, but a fascinating journey through a side of British society that we don’t talk about, much. Unfortunately, and not by Fountain’s choice, many of his trips through this world are on the seedy side, though he never openly laughs at them. Find it here on Amazon

It’s the suburbs in the 1970s, and two teenage lads, Enn and Vic, go to a teenage party to meet girls. Vic is the charming and handsome boy, who is always successful with the girls, while Enn is tongue-tied and awkward around them. At this party Vic pushes Enn to talk to them, to finally have some success with the opposite sex, but the girls at this party are amazing and so easy to talk to. This short story is a showcase for Neil Gaiman’s storytelling skills and his otherworldly imagination. Enn, who narrates this story, is almost a perfect picture of teenage angst. Vic is that teenage boy who every other boy wants to be friends with, he’s handsome and able to talk to girls. But what is most memorable here are the girls at the party, both beautiful and otherworldly, but it is their otherworldliness is so memorable. They talk like people who do not understand this world, but not in a bad science-fiction way. Their otherworldliness feels so right and within character for them, and yet each girl is different too, none of them having quite the same otherworldliness. It is these girls that make this story memorable and lifts it into a strange and interesting tale. This is only a short story, easily read in one sitting, but it is a fine example of Gaiman’s writing. If you haven’t read any of his writing before, then this is a great introduction. If you know his work well, then it is a great way to spend some time in his world. Gaiman’s strength has always been that he has a wonderful imagination and combines it with great storytelling skills. Here is an easily readable story of his. Find it here on Amazon

My short story, Even a Monkey Can Fall from a Tree, can be read in this, new anthology, Showtime 2023, but there’s more to it than just that. Every year, Newham Writers Workshop publishes an anthology of its members work, and I’m member of them and this is the fourth anthology I’ve had work published in. But I’m also now part of the editorial team that published it. I had the easy job. My fellow writers, Belgin and Paula, had the hardest task. They proofread and edited all the submissions and they did a wonderful job of it. They captured those annoying repetitions, corrected those silly spelling mistakes we all make and helped the writer to clarify what they were writing. Editing is not my strong point and I’m so grateful for those who can do it well. My role was the formatting of the manuscript, uploading it to Amazon and promoting it online (Which this blog is the first stage of). I had to format it into eBook and paper back book formats. This wasn’t too difficult, except the writer who had their work in a strange format and screwed half the book’s formatting (!!). Martin, my partner, helped me with the cover. The cover picture is Alphabetti Spaghetti by Alex Chinneck. This is a series of sculptures, of post boxes tied into a knot, placed across the country. There is one just down the road from us, its also a piece of public art in the London borough of Newham, which is a theme we kind of fell into for our cover illustrations. The anthology is a showcase of our members work, hence the name, and it contains so much good writing, a chance I got to experience formatting it, and that writing is so varied. There is poetry, short stories, memoirs and a memorial essay. A lot of current poetry I find dense and difficult to understand, but I’m happy that I can’t say that for my fellow writers here. Many of the poems here are lyrical, painting wonderful images with their words, others use words to take an aim at their subjects. Beautiful-Words by Deborah Collins, Noise by Paul Butler, The Tankard’s Mahogany Bar by George Fuller and Resignation by Catherine Daniels are all fine examples of the poetry here. There is a richness of prose here too, and on such a diverse range of subjects, challenging subjects, not simply cosy and safe. Ros Allison gives us another short story about female friendship. Sarah Winslow, Nicola Catton, Dharma Paul and Belgin Durmush all have written short stories that use fantasy themes, ranging from light and whimsical, to dark and memorable. These stories include meeting your hero, strange events in a coffee shop, through meeting yourself and a very dark story about a house that suddenly appears on a hill. My own story, Even a Monkey Can Fall from a Tree, is about a young man who catches Monkey pox (Mpox). Through this infection he finds himself on the receiving end of a world of judgment and homophobia. The inspiration came from reading about different men’s experiences during the outbreak of Monkey Pox in the summer of 2022. As I read their experiences, I felt such an echo of the homophobia circling around HIV in the 1980s & 1990s. It was disturbing to hear all that homophobia resurfacing again. It shouted out to me to write about it, to explore the cost of it. There is also non-fiction in this anthology, personal essays that draw on universal experiences. Dave Chambers’s essay, Uncle Bob, is about how he moved away from and then left the Catholic Church through his relationship with his uncle. Frank Crocker’s essay is about loss, first experienced as a child and then much later as an adult. The last piece in the anthology is also one of the most poignant pieces here. It is a memorial essay about our former treasurer, Margaret Griffith. Margaret died suddenly and unexpectantly in August 2022. Her death had surprised and shocked us all, she had been our longest serving member. This essay, drawn from the eulogies at her funeral, is a way of us remembering such a prominent member of our workshop. This anthology is a showcase of the work coming out of our writers workshop, the original and different voices producing work in East London. You can get a copy of it here. Happy reading Drew

Oohs, spoilers, spoilers (!!). Bless him but Liam isn't very good at pushing himself forward, and he still has a habit of retreating back into himself. I want to capture the changing nature of the ward, these are patients and they will be discharged and staff will change. Liam isn't living in a normal home environment (though his life with his mother was never normal), and I wanted to show how transient it can be.

Liam sat in the corner of the sofa hidden away in the Common Room reading his latest book. His book was something safe to hide behind. He could lose himself in reading it, but he could also use it as a barrier against other people. He could hold it up in front of his face stopping others from looking directly at him, from talking with him, and it worked. People there left him alone. He'd had his dinner - again a meal so overcooked that there was little taste to it - and now he was killing

Thank you. I wrote this story over ten years ago, sadly so little has changed since then. I still hear right-wing Christians calling for marriage equality to be repealed, and Row v Wade, in the States, should be a wake-up call to all of us.

It is 1976 and Mary Ann Singleton changes her visit to San Francisco into a permanent move. Naïve from her sheltered live in Cleveland, she wants a new life in The City. She finds an apartment at 28 Barbary Lane, and gets drawn into the found family her landlady, Mrs Madrigal, has created from the other tenants there. There is bohemian Mona Ramsey, gay Michael "Mouse" Tolliver and womanising Brian Hawkins. Though we are introduced into this by Mary Ann, this isn’t her story alone. Soon we are following the different lives of the residents of 28 Barbary Lane. Armistead Maupin’s stroke of genius was to set this story within a household of apartments and the tenants who live there, with their unconventional mother-figure in Mrs Madrigal. Through their lives he could write about the different aspects of San Francisco life in the 1970s. The other genius is that not just Maupin populated this novel with a large number of LGBT characters but that he treated them the same as all the other characters. They don’t come to sordid ends or end in pathetic suicides, they just have as messy and complicated lives as the straight characters. This novel was originally written as a newspaper serial and its style still reflects that, short and episodic scenes that rely on dialog, rather than description, to build character and atmosphere. This creates a fast-paced read, peppered frequently with jokes, but from time-to-time I did want a few passages of description just to slow down the pace and give me a moment to breath. This isn’t a historical novel, it was written in the 1970s and gloriously reflects the times. This isn’t a story about bright colours and brighter pop music. It explores the social change and different lifestyles that the 1960s had hinted at. It reminds us how important the 1970s were, especially if you are LGBT. Unfortunately, it does portray some of the 1970’s sexual politics that we now find questionable, it was a different time. Maupin wasn’t the first author to write a multi-character, multi-plot novel, but what he did was fill his novel with characters that had previously not been given a central role, and to portray them in an honest, open and non-sensational way. For so many LGBT people, of a certain age, this was a revolutionary novel. And today, it is still a novel that can hold a reader’s attention for a fascinating journey, with a lot of good jokes along the way. Find it here on Amazon

I have only one bit of advice about starting writing, do it now! It's too easy to put it off, and you live in Valencia, there MUST be some great inspiration from there.

@Gary L, that is such a perfect disscription of PD James's novel, she was a great novelist who just happened to write crime novels. The first one of her novels I read was Death of An Expert Witness, what an amazing and dark novel, she made death so unpleasant and horrible.

Thanks

This is a slim volume, just one short story, The Part-Time Job, and an essay, Murder Most Fowl, but it’s a perfect quick read as an eBook. The Part-Time Job is a story about revenge and murder. The unnamed narrator was bullied at school by Keith Manston-Green and at twelve vowed to kill him. The rest of the story is how he achieves this. As a motive for murder this might seem petty and trivial but to anyone whose school days were blighted by bullying will identify with this narrator’s actions, though may not agree with them. But this is a very pedestrian plot, the narrator achieves his goal in a rather obvious way. What lifts this story is the unexpected and dark twist at the end. If you stay reading to the end, then you are rewarded with a very dark and satisfying ending. Murder Most Fowl is an essay about why James wrote mystery crime novels, and this is a real gem. She doesn’t write about how she writes, where she finds her plots and inspiration. Instead she writes about why she writes in mystery/crime genre and what she hopes to achieve doing that. It also gives an interesting reading list of her favourite authors, what she enjoyed from their books. PD James was an amazingly talented author, whose novels were always more than just about the puzzle of who the murder is. Her novels also explored different and interesting themes, underneath her murder plots. Like so many great authors, after her death there seemed a rush to publish the remainder of her unpublished work, the short stories and essays that had been published in magazines and newspapers, but were never published in book form. This slight volume is a product of this. James was always a great writer, even here, but this book is more for the PD James fan, it isn’t a place to first discover her work, there are several of her novels that are better for that, but this book is still an interesting read. Find it here on Amazon

I hope you can't identify with it too closely, with what happens. Happy reading

Thanks, it was a great read. It is also a short read but Alan Bennett doesn't write long fiction

The Ransomes, a middle-aged, middle-class couple living in North London, return home to their mansion flat, from a night at the opera, and discover they have been burgled. But this is no ordinary burglary. Every single thing in their home has been taken. They are greeted with only bare floor boards and walls. All the possessions they are left with, in the world, are the clothes they are wearing. In this novella, Alan Bennett strips this middle-class couple of all their belongings and therefore forces them to re-examine their position in society, what does it mean to be them. In very Bennett style, the wife here flourishes, using this as a chance to explore the local community around her, that previously she had just passed through to get to somewhere else. The husband, though, stripped of his possessions, fails to cope. All that seemed to have made him, his possessions, have been taken away. This is a slim volume but Bennett still manages to pack a punch with his sparse prose, with many touches of his sharp and on-the-nail humour. Though not a subject always associated with him, this is Bennett on firm territory, he knows these middle-class people and what brings them down. Bennett uses an unusual premise to write a character study of a couple suddenly thrown out of the rut their lives had comfortably fallen into. As with much of his previous prose, this is a short but enjoyable read, and easily re-read. Find it here on Amazon

@lawfulneutralmage, thank you for such solid gold advice and thank you for adding it to my blog. I try to make my passwords as long and as complicated as possible, but as you say, security is a two-way street.

Thank you. I was originally going to just have the interviewer quizzing and challenging Gemma Clarke, but she would have hung up before I could have made my points. Then I thought about what would have happened to Rhys Clarke's sidekicks, and that gave me the rest of the chapter.

Thanks, but at least I was able to get it back

Thank you. It was as I started to write this blog, it occurred to me, why didn't she just create a new, fake profile? I've heard of this happening to other people but it was still a shock to have it happen to me. My only advice is to have a really long password because LinkedIn doesn't seem that concerned about our security.

He really should have tuned in an hour earlier and listened to Leanne James. But I felt it made much more of a dramatic impact hearing this from one of his ex-bullies. I also wanted to have Gemma Clarke not being agreed with to show how things were changing and had moved on. Liam is nineteen here, he's more down and lonely than depressed. The chapter is a flashback to Liam at fifteen.

Liam listened to it all because he was "a rabbit in car headlights", so surprised at what he heard. I've found myself listening to right-wing radio because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Gemma Clarke is a very low-hanging fruit. She isn't a very "important" right-wing mouthpiece and doesn't have many if any backers looking after her. That's why she's on this early Sunday evening talk radio show. The one who has "friends" looking after her and guiding her to stay on friendly right-wing outlets is Liam's mother, Emma Duffield. Who is more useful, the mother of a dead boy or the mother of a convicted child killer calling out for a return to capital punishment?

Liam sat up on the edge of his bed in his little room in the B&B hotel. He hadn’t slept for a moment. He only lay there on that narrow bed staring at the stains on the ceiling. Avoiding negative things and hiding away from conflict may have worked when he was twelve, but he wasn’t twelve anymore. He was nineteen - he knew too much about himself now. He knew where he came from and… He couldn’t lay on his bed and hope everything would go away. When had that ever worked before? But what co

“ERIN SMITH IS A LIAR!!” I went to log onto my LinkedIn profile, to post a link to my latest blog, but I was locked out of it. There was a message saying my account had been locked because of “suspicious activity”. But all I had been posting on it were links to my writing. I checked my emails and found ones from LinkedIn, several of the many emails from them telling me someone had messaged me, someone had viewed my profile, someone had posted another notification, but the recent ones weren’t addressed to me, they were addressed to someone called “Erin Smith”. It was her name at the top of the email, her face in the message’s profile picture, but the email had been sent to me. The email address contained my full name, which certainly couldn’t be mistaken for Erin Smith. My profile had been stolen by this Erin Smith person. I had no email address with which I could contact LinkedIn. All their emails to me were non-reply ones. It looked as if the only way I could contact them was if I could log onto my profile, but I couldn’t because it was locked. It looked as if I mightn’t get my profile back. It felt like it did when I was a child and another child at school stole my work book, scratched out my name, and wrote their name over it. It was my profile; I had created it and I wanted it back. It wasn’t fair. When I tried to log on to my profile, I got a message asking me to confirm my identity. They required me to upload a photo of the information page of my passport. At first, I just wouldn’t do it. LinkedIn had let my profile be stolen right out from under me, how could I trust them with such personal information? But as the week stretched on my will weakened. This was mainly because I kept receiving emails from LinkedIn, all addressed to Erin Smith, congratulating her on all the connections she was making and notifying her she had yet another message. She was using my profile and I was still locked out of it. A week later I uploaded a photo of my passport to LinkedIn. I heard nothing from LinkedIn for over a fortnight, except for all those emails addressed to Erin Smith. It was as if they were ignoring me. Then, two weeks later, I received an email from LinkedIn actually addressed to me, by name. It had a time sensitive link to change the password to my account, which I used, straight away. I changed my password to a three-word phrase that also contained a date (not related to my birth or marriage dates). When I finally logged onto my profile, I received a message saying that LinkedIn did not keep old information from profiles. I thought nothing of it, I was too concerned to get to my profile and didn’t pay it much attention. In retrospect, this should have warned me to LinkedIn’s poor security. It they don’t keep a copy of a profile; they can’t observe that a profile has been hijacked and how can they protect their members? My profile had been completely hijacked by this Erin Smith. She had changed everything but my contact details, that was why I was still receiving LinkedIn’s emails. I set about repairing her vandalism and returning the profile back to being my own. As I reversed her damage, I noticed something very obvious, Erin Smith was a fake persona. She claimed to have been to university in both America and China, she had lived in both countries and gained separate degrees. She now claimed to live in France. She claimed to have worked for, first Microsoft and then L’Oréal, a strange work profile, and now she said she was running her own “Beauty Consultancy”, whatever that was. She mainly seemed to have been using my account to send out messages. These messages all seemed to run along the same lines. She always messaged men who had their own companies, she certainly seemed to have a type, saying she didn’t know why LinkedIn had recommended them to her as a contact (??). If they replied to her, she’d flirt with them and then asked where they lived. Wherever the man lived, and they seemed scattered across Europe and America, she would tell them that she would be visiting their home city in the next month and would “love” to meet them. This was obviously a fake persona and she was trying to catfish and con those men, but why did she need to steal my profile to do this? Why didn’t she just create a new one for this? I spent a long time replying to all the men she had contacted, telling them that she stole my profile and she was fake and probably trying to con them. When she originally contacted them, she had control of my profile and her picture and name was at the top of the message. Once I had control of my profile back, my name and picture were returned to the top of the message, so hopefully it was obvious that she was trying to con them. I was annoyed at all the time I wasted over this, especially having to return everything on my profile back to the way it had been. The next day I logged onto my profile again and found another message from LinkedIn. A third-party program had accessed my profile and they had blocked it. Only now LinkedIn decided to practice some security to keep my profile safe(ish). When I got to my profile, I found Erin Smith had accessed it again, though only to send out a message from it. Obviously, she had a program that allowed her to remotely send messages from my profile. This one was typical of her messages, to a male company owner, all flirtatious and wondering why LinkedIn was recommending him to her, accept the message had my name and picture at the top of it. He hadn’t replied to it but I still sent him a message saying Erin Smith was probably trying to con him. I’ve logged onto my LinkedIn profile daily since then but Erin Smith, in all her fakeness, has not tried to send anymore messages from it. I don’t use my LinkedIn profile to network and find work, anymore, I mainly just post links to my writing on it, but it is still my profile, about me, another little corner of the internet that is solely about me. That might sound selfish but I’m not an important person with a big presence online. My online presence is very small but having my LinkedIn profile stolen away from me felt like another part of me had been taken away, I was cut off from people I once knew and worked with. I wanted it back and it was a relief to finally have it back. I don’t know how she was able to steal my profile. I didn’t share my password and I only logged onto it from my home computer, which is protected by a reliable security program. How did she get hold of my password? Only I and LinkedIn knew it and I kept it secure. I am still so angry at LinkedIn for letting this happen. Why didn’t they have systems in place to notice things like this. Erin Smith changed everything on my profile accept my contact details, why didn’t LinkedIn’s systems notice this and flag up what had happened? LinkedIn still doesn’t have two-step verification. I’ve created a password as strong as I can but that is all I can do; LinkedIn needs to step-up and start protecting their users. I used to consider two-step verification an annoyance, especially if I’d left my phone away from my computer, but not anymore, not after this. LinkedIn keeps promoting their premium membership to me, which is paid for, telling me how good it would be if I upgraded to it. If this is how they treat me as a basic member, I cannot trust them to treat me any better if I pay for a premium membership, and what good would that do for me anyway? Drew PS. Find my LinkedIn profile here.

I do wonder if any of our governing MPs can make that distinction. The government is waging its "culture wars" to hide its failings, and I feel the conversion therapy ban is caught up in that. I also wonder how loud the Evangelical Christian lobby is. The loopholes in their ban, if they ever implement it, are so big that their ban would be useless., and that benefits Evangelical Christians.

At least you've banned it in Canada, we haven't even done that. It is human experimentation but an experiment where no one is even keeping records of the results but they are blaming the subjects when they get it seriously wrong.

People are still claiming it works. While researching this blog, I found two doggy papers that claimed it worked and didn't harm anyone. That really made me angry.