joann414
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Everything posted by joann414
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OMG! You did not just leave that cliffhanger.( hunting you down to smack you) lol Very well written chapter and your writing is improving by leaps and bounds. The fire scene was great. Loved this!
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Absolutely heartwarming!
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That was a great snippet. You need to write more. Your style is great and easy reading. go for it!
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Wow, heard a lot about this story, and looks like it is going to live up to it's reputation. Great start!
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I am very curious how Ryo fits in Soubi's life. Looks as if Rin is the asshole, so I am going to guess that Ryo is a best friendship or something gone bad. He seems pretty protective of Soubi tho. Also, wondering when he and Soubi have seen each other naked? He told Soubi in the bath how he did not have anything that he had not seen before, and Soubi made reference of how well endowed Ryo is. Lots of unanswered questions here girl. You better get to work. I am really curious about this trio! Great chapter, and you definitely left us wanting more:)
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Chapter 9 The Truth and Nothing But The Truth...
joann414 commented on Naptowngirl's story chapter in Chapter 9 The Truth and Nothing But The Truth...
Wow, Simon is a piece of work. I'm just glad he did not let his goons hurt Heath. I wonder in the back of my mind if Simon has misconstrued Alec taking his money or if it was an investment gone bad, or better yet, a donation that he regrets. Well, we are probably fixing to find out more about both of the boys in the next chapter. Alex probably has some interesting thing to allow also. Great chapter! -
So now we have vampires in the mix, hmmmmm. The bowler hat man was creepy as hell, and when he bit Panah it was pretty damn freaky, but even freakier when Panah bit him back. Now I am wondering if he is dead or what. The other question in my mind is what kind of change will occur when night falls? Still loving this.
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Wow, this chapter moved at a great pace and I felt the sadness and confusion they felt looking at all the devastation around them. Great job!
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First of all this is a great start to your story. Now, I can honestly say that I try to never be critical, and the only reason I am pointing out that you have a few mistakes in spelling etc., is because this is a great chapter, and I was a little distracted by the errors but not enough to be put off the story. Others that write a lot would probably be even more distracted than I was. That being said, I really like the story and for a moment I thought it was the end of the world or something when you were talking about the sky splitting. lol Love your characters and the plot so far. Good job:)
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I have probably read this story four or five times since I have been a member here, and I should be ashamed for not commenting because it is definitely one of my favorites. Thanks for such a beautiful and well written story:)
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Definitely one of my favorite chapters girl and certainly put a bright spot in my day. So glad that Alexi can relax with Joshua, and more importantly, that Joshua knows what ot do to help him to relax. I know of a couple of more things that would really relax him. (hint, hint) lol Seriously, great chapter.! Now, GIVE ME MY POPCICLE!!!!
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First of all, I think Zune has the perfect attitude and thoughts about his and Kevin's feelings toward each other. Infatuation seems like young to one so young at times. He and his mom seem to have a great relationship and I love the thought of him being able to talk with her and feel comfortable doing it! Edward made quite the error there and did not even know it. There's a lot of hate in both the boys, but for different reasons, or is it? Hmmm, that some food for thought. Very early in the story, but I can't help but wonder who is actually going to be friends here, and who is going to be the actually be the lovers. Well,, that is the great thing of having the next chapter soon. HUH! Good job Sacred. Very powerful and well-written chapter
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Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory Of The Burning Of The School
joann414 commented on Andy78's story chapter in Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory Of The Burning Of The School
I have heard several versions of the song, but this story is one of it's kind. Wonder what the teacher thought if he ever heard some of the tales before his real demise. Even the boys breaking in had to have heard all of the folklore surrounding that night. Great job. I love something different at times, and you do well wriitng a variety of fiction. -
The title of the chapter is very interesting to say the least. Now, I am wondering what the disaster is that evidently is the cause of Kyle's disappearance. Love the story line, and so glad to see Dylan make an appearance. Great job, and have a great holiday! ( not sure if you celebrate Thanksgiving), but if you don't , have a great weekend!!!
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Last of the Summer Wine
joann414 commented on Swhouston44's story chapter in Last of the Summer Wine
What makes your writing so special is how different each story is and the meanings. It is a lot of fun as a pre-teen or young teen to watch the older folks make fools of themselves though. Good job! -
This was such a cute story, but I was so sad that Sox had to die. It is amazing how people think their mean dogs can just roam and do at will. This was a great story:)
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OH wow, you have painted a mess here to start with. Soubi, high on drugs, Ryo hiding feelings for soubi, and Rin the one that walked away from Soubi, causing him to spiral out of control. This should be an interesting one to watch unfold. Great job!
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This is a great first chapter, and it is great to see a story from you. You have a great cast of characters, and I always love the bad-ass female thrown into the mix. Makes for a lot of fun reading. The " I love you", was understandable to me because I am thinking of them as being very young and acting on their feeings of the moment, kinda like Zune making the saying the reason the were not talking during their meal was because they have a crush on each other. Keep up the good work. Thanks:)
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So, u definitely left the opening for the next chapter. This is different, but great:)
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This was an absolutely wonderful story, and so in character for two teens falling in love. Great writing, and going to read more of your stories:)
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About the sweetest drunk that I have ever read. Good job!
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Wow, you are driving me crazy with all of these beautiful hormonal guys in love with each other and none of the three admit it.
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Ryan is the perfect example of "love is blind." Great chapter by the way:)
