Shinoai

Hello! I just wanted leave a review after reading through your story, because I thought it was really excellent. Your world-building was truly top notch. I was amazed at how detailed and stylistic Nabius and its citizens were. It was really a more original idea, and I liked it. The characters were also all very interesting, if a little dramatic (especially the ladies). After finishing it, I am both glad you managed to actually finish (a feat beyond many amature writers), and at the same time left wanting more. I guess I'll just have to eagerly wait for the sequel - the drama is certainly set up to be explosive. Hope you are well, and I'll be watching for more of your work, even if it's an entirely new story. Take care, and thank you for sharing with us readers

I've got to say, I've really very much enjoyed reading through this story, and I desperately hope there is more to come. First of all, I truly adore the writing style (the whole stream of consciousness thing). I think it really works for this kind of story, where the emotional turmoil of the central character is a major focus. I really felt like I could understand Caleb, and I actually got a bit emotional over my own high school days while reading it. It's also great for character development, another area where you seem to succeed. Actually, all your characters are really interesting. My favorites, besides Caleb, are Sara and Jake. With Sara, her emotional depth and sincerity despite her general demeanor really made her seem real, and just an all around cool chica. With Jake, it's more complicated. He's got some really serious problems, far worse than Caleb's (even if it wouldn't seem that way to Caleb), and even if they don't end up together, or if he hurts Caleb due to his own issues, I sincerely hope things work out for him and he can ground himself before his destructive actions and thoughts completely destroy him. He's on a fast track to serious problems, be it a deadly STD, the destruction of all of his positive relationships, or even emotional deterioration to the point of suicide. I truly hope he can get better, and I'd love to see Caleb help him, even though I doubt it'll happen considering Caleb's own emotional turbulence. Also, I greatly dislike Ethan. He's quite the antagonist. lol. Anyways, thank you so much for writing up to this point, and I really, REALLY hope another chapter is on its way. I know how hard it can be to finish a work once the inspiration starts to fade, but this work is honestly spectacular and it would be a waste not to ice the cake, so to speak. Hope you're doing well! Cheers!

Oh. My. GOD! I have read literally hundreds of e-fics, and only a few times have I ever been so shocked - so totally floored, by a twist like that! I promise a more substantial review once I catch up to the end, but wow this chapter just blew me right out of the water and I had to leave a quick comment!

I can see you've probably abandoned this story based on the update date, but I thought I'd leave a review just in case you still read them. Amazing story for a first attempt at writing on this scale! To start off, your writing itself is very good. The vocabulary is varied and appropriate, and the grammar is meticulously constructed. There were many points where it reminded me of my own style, although I'd say yours is much better overall. The story is also very very good! I can see you are very aware of pacing, which is a good thing - although if you get caught up in the pacing, you can really burn out quick - I know that from experience. I like your characters as well, and I wish I could see more of them - see how you really flesh them out. It takes awhile to get to know your own characters, but I could see these being really good. The real pull of your story was the supernatural element, and I can already see several equally awesome ways you could have been taking that. Again, its a shame that it won't likely be developed further - a rather cruel cliffhanger, you know. Anyways, I'd like to thank you for writing up to this point, and hope you keep writing because you have a lot of skill with it.

Wow! What a rollercoaster! I've just got a chance to read up to this chapter, and this story is a wild ride. The relationships between the characters, and even the characters themselves have changed so much from the beginning - it's really fascinating to see. I also really like how the story seemed to morph from something of a sexual fantasy, to more of a self-discovery themed work - a blend that works very well, in my opinion. Dane has come very far as a person, but he still has a bit of a ways to go. Will he come to terms with his feelings for Sam? Are they even there in the first place? I always privately hope for disaster to strike right about now in a plot, for Dane in particular, because hardship breeds growth. Either way, I am excited to see further developments. EDIT: Just realized this story is discontinued. Oh well, it was good while it lasted, and worth the review just in case you see it, or noble author. -Shinoai

Ah, I was so happy to find this story! I have read quite a few novels online, here and at other sites, and over time I have unintentionally been building up a standard for what is just readable, what is good, and what is excellent. This is excellent, and I knew it from the very first chapter. A large part is your skill with writing. It's very natural to read, and you aren't doing anything stylistically silly, letting your reader totally focus on the characters and story. Which are, by the way, very, very good as well. The personalities of the characters are healthily defined, and they each bring something new to a scene. I particularly like Jay, Sue and Devon for their rich personalities. The plot is very compelling as well, especially how Jay seems caught between Scott and Devon, even after he is happily dating Scott. Devon's dilemma is very interesting as well. The two things I am most looking forward to are insight into Scott's past, and revelation of Devon's true sexuality. Best wishes and fingers crossed for more of this fantastic work from you!

Happy to read another chapter! After reading dozens of similar teen love stories, the whole "heart pumping, edge-of-seat confession" scenes are hit or miss for me. However, this was pretty darn good! I really got into it, and of course I love the twins thing. So much angst and drama can arise once one of them starts dating! Excited for more, impressed by the story so far! Best wishes!

Totally psyched to see this novel being continued! Like ricky said, it will be interesting to learn more about the senior Templetons, but this chapter really was a pleasure. I thought the date scene was both funny and cute, and I am still curious about Reggie and his odd behavior. Looking forward eagerly to seeing more of your writing and this story!

Very satisfying story, and I don't know if there was some major change in your process, but I personally thought the quality of the writing improved throughout the story as well. Best Wishes, I hope to read more from you in the future!

Nice "mega" chapter with some emotional developement going on, but I must say I am a little disapointed in how long it is taking Billy to set his mind straight. This Brandon infatuation is a constant drag on the story as it ruins all his other romantic oportunities and causes him novel length emotional turmoil. The fact that now, after one chance encounter, he suddenly is burning bright as before for someone he has "given up" repeatedly is a bit irritating, but I reserve my judgement for the end book 7. As always, your writing is impressive and very in character. Excited to read more!

You mentioned this was one of two short storys as an interlude in the main plot correct? I am really pleased with how you are developing this world, and I loved all of the expanded lore in this one. I admit, it had a differant feel from the first book, but I enjoyed it very much. I hope your differant protagonists have some meaningful interactings in future writing, which I can't wait to read. Really great job!

I can't even fathom how amazed I am by your writing. It is both gripping and poetic, skillfully painting a world in which I became almost instantly immersed. The story is fascinating and ripe with emotion, and I cannot bring myself to quit reading it. I do wonder what background you have as a writer and what preparation has gone into this story to produce such masterwork. I anxiously await its completion and possibly future works from you. Best wishes and high praise!

I am excited for Book 7's "revelation," meaning the big change in Billy's life around the end that happens in most of the books. More specifically, I am excited for a new chapter where the first few sentences get my heart pounding with excitement for Billy. Great job as always.

I vote for more Savage Moon. That series... oh so great. I almost feel naughty just for enjoying it so much, considering the theme, but its so invigorating.