Sasha Distan

Today I want to talk about something which mostly everyone thinks doesn't affect me, and much of the time, I am lucky, and I pass by writer's block like a freight train running on a different track while I sit in comfort and tap away on something which more resembles the shinkansen. But to say I have never felt that dread of not starting right, or not finishing, would be a terrible lie. I'm good at lying, but I don't want to lie to you. Let's talk about The Last Page, Final Chapters, The End, and how hard it is to say goodbye. I'm sitting in front of a story right now, 24,000 words of something which sledge-hammered me around the skull two weeks ago (yes, sorry, I did write all that in 12 days with breaks for Christmas), but which I do not want to finish. Not just because it was supposed be for the spring anthology and is going to be too long to qualify, but because I still don't feel like I know these characters well enough to let them go. But I know I'll have to. Finishing is the worst feeling, or one of the worst feelings, I have ever known. Letting go of people you have shared your brain with, your life with, is tough. My characters talk to me in the shower, while I’m trying to eat dinner and converse with my family, hang around while I sleep and insinuate themselves into my life. They latch on, bug me when I'm supposed to be teaching, or marking, or walking the dog, and letting them go means waving goodbye to people who have become great friends. Even if they've only been with me for a little while, it's still hard. The First Page, In The Beginning, Once Upon A Time, and how to get to know someone. Starting can be as hard as finishing, and I doubt I need to explain to any other writer out there, the number of files I have, a thousand words here, four thousand words there, of things which just never got off the ground. Worse still are the ideas which roll around in the mind, sometimes for years, but every time you go to apply them to paper, they drift away, as insubstantial as smoke, the details smearing like warm paint in the bright sun. I have a few things I want to start at the moment, but I can't, because I don't know where to start, and something else is holding my back from that first blank page. Guilt. Guilt because I have left characters and readers hanging, suspended in mid air, waiting for resolution or continuation, some I have left waiting to fall in love. And that must be painful. I feel bad for them, but sometimes trying to dive back in where you left off is worse. You can't grab the thread, the style has changed, and what seemed easy and natural before is now stilted and difficult. The best intentions are all well and good, but coming back is hard. So to those readers and those characters, I am sorry. But I'll try. You are not abandoned, and I am on my way. I will do my best to bring you home.

I shall just sit here and pray that it's as awesome as I really really really hope it will be. pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.....

Oh, I really enjoy Twitter. It's Facebook which is more terrifying. and Tumblr. I will always stay away from tumblr

affronted

keeper

It's a long time later Tim. and neither Marty of Hrishi ever run into the guys from agriculture and land management

It was a good college to go to. I enjoyed my two years there, and I met my husband there. Though we did not have sex in the showers - or anywhere else on campus (I think...). So glad you're enjoying the story, more good stuff to come xx

Marty would not describe himself as any type of software developer, as will become apparent. And yes, there is a lot going on in good 6th forms these days where Computing is taught properly.

Leon is his oldest friend, and he's not always a dick. Give him time, you'll warm to him. Probably.

thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll warn you, there are very few conversations between these two which don't involve shouting.

these boys know how to make an impression!

A bunch of us are arguing heatedly over the correct walking bass line for classic rock and roll as we exit the main auditorium. About the only music classes we have to leave our building for are big technical lectures. I’ve filled ten pages with notes about the stylistic fingerprints of rock and roll versus metal and indie rock, and made myself a pretty long listening list which will keep me going for at least ten hours. Leon spins around, walking backwards and holding forth about his unshakeabl

blinding

Don't know who first sent it to me, or why. I remember it was sent as something which was fanart of something else, so SATW it is! It's been sitting on my harddrive for years. I love Iceland...

Eh... continue spending time with Goblin, husband, and dog.

We're allowed to go off topic. and speaking of off topic SATW made me think of this picture I've had in my "random crap from the web" folder for years and years.

The unknown is always exciting. And change is good, stagnation is bad. The future is gonna happen anyway, may as well get out there and grab it.

Oh my god I think I'm in love!!! This is amazing!

Cuddles make good distractions! You're worried about things which might happen in a couple of years? I have a feeling there might be worries before then.

Jian's money worries are about to become slightly more worrisome. but no, nothing by halves!

oh, maybe not that mean that fast.... *tries to remember what's coming up* Gentle interludes are good though. Thank you Jeff!

hahaha! ah, the ability to turn anger on and off, or at least, to cloak it well. Quite rare and very useful. I'm glad you enjoyed.

xxx

racing

Oh I'm so glad! Thank you, thank you! Oh, she does love her little boy, and Jamie loves her too, even if sometimes he can't stand her. Parents, eh? No plans for more at present, but you never know.