Cole Matthews
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Everything posted by Cole Matthews
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I'm glad you like the format. This is the first in a series of three parts. We are getting to know Jake. I hope you enjoy the rest as well. Thank you for the kind comments!
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I'm glad you tapped into the theme I'm building here. This is a story about family, more than anything else. You recognized a kind of intimacy and care between Jake and Nats I'd hoped to convey. I'm glad it worked. For Jake, the process of drying out is just beginning. He has quite a few trials ahead. I appreciate and thank you for these lovely comments.
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Day 4 I slept fitfully again this past night, after going over to Nats and barely passing by the bar. (Okay, I’m picking up where I left off last night, so sue me! Ha! Since no one is reading this, the counter has only moved one hit more, so -- blows a raspberry). I tossed and turned, finally falling asleep early this morning about five o’clock or so. Now I’m awake at eleven, which means I only got six hours of sleep and my head hurts and my legs ache. I thought when I quit
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Sobriety - Day 3 I don’t think anyone is reading my blog. The counter is showing five viewers, same as yesterday. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. All I know is this experiment is starting to get a little scary. I’m still having trouble sleeping, and when I do I have wild, erratic and disjointed nightmares. Yes, I know most dreams are a mishmash of things, but they seem even more odd and disquieting. I’m beginning to fear the worst; I really am an alcoholic. I drank mys
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Not connecting is certainly one of Jake's issues. If you know my writing, you'll know something will obviously have to give. I'm a bit of a stinker like that. I like my characters to work hard for their money!!! Thanks for the intriguing comments.
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It's interesting you find Jake's description of her a little scary. Nats has charisma, that's for sure. You'll find out more about her coming up. I'm glad you're engaged and enjoying it. Thanks for the wonderful comments.
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I think in a way, Jake is 'in love' with Nats, in a completely fraternal way, but with a hint of attraction as well. I am a gay man who still finds some women quite attractive, yet I know it's only physical and nothing more could come of it. I believe Jake feels quite strongly. I'm glad that's coming through. Thanks for the insightful comments!!
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Lots more of Nats to come. Jake probably would have been better off with a date than another drink, but he's trying to do that now, so we'll see. I appreciate the comments!!
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I'm not fond of French films like that either. We are still at the beginning of the first part. Lots more to come. I like that you saw that. I wanted to give the impression without being too obvious. Thanks for the lovely comments!!!
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Sobriety - Day 2 I’m feeling a little better. Things don’t seem as dire right now. I can breathe again. I read my writing from earlier, and it seems a bit, well, dramatic, but now I’m better. I think. I was over-reacting. I hope. Yesterday, I was exhausted when I went to work, still, the evening seemed to fly by. My friend Nats was working with me, and she kept me in stitches the whole night. Most of my tables were relatively low maintenance except one old queen who kept
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Thanks Parker! There is much going on. As you say, the mirror to this mans life will need be held up. It's going to get more real. I appreciate your comments. Wink.
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You have some fascinating ideas about this scenario. Could his drinking be situational? Or is it more? There is much more coming. He will deal with tougher issues going forward. Very enlightened perspective. Let's see what's next!
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Thanks Lisa!!! I'm glad the humor came through. I was laughing as I wrote it. We can be so delusional about ourselves at times. Jake is realizing things and he's scared. Your comments are spot on!!! Yeah!
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That part is totally me. I read explanations of diseases and can somehow identify with the symptoms, as crazy as it sounds. I'm glad it worked for you. As a former bartender, I watched people struggle and sometimes fail. Jake does have a little experience with this issue. I appreciate the kind words! Thanks!
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Thanks Jeffrey!!! I'm glad the explanations came across as natural. Jake will change and you'll see more of him in the coming chapters. Nats is a Character. Note, the capital C!! Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Thanks Gary! I'm not sure Jake likes himself too much right now. He's struggling and we can be a little ugly when getting our bearings. Right now, Jake is flailing about for an anchor. Let's see what he finds. I love your anticipation of the next entry.
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Very true! Add to that the physiological changes to brain chemistry, and you have a very toxic mix. Jake kind of realizes he's fallen down a rabbit hole, but he's only experiencing the 'waking up' part of it at this point. Thanks for the insightful comments.
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GA's Newest Promising Author: Parker Owens
Cole Matthews commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Gay Authors Archive
Congrats and well earned! You have a voice so use it. Continue growing, expanding, making your voice stronger. This is your day. Enjoy it. Relish it. Now, let's hear more. You have lots to tell us. -
Sobriety - Day 1 Last night was a disaster. I thought this non-drinking would be a change, a challenge that I could meet without a problem. Boy, I was wrong, seriously, and plainly, screwed. I couldn’t fucking sleep. (Yes, I know I’m swearing a lot. What with my vicious hangover and about two hours of sleep last night, my patience has worn thin, so FUCK YOU!!!). Sorry, but sometimes I get so pissed about things, and then I kind of ‘wake up’ a bit. Anyway, last night was
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Thank you for reading it. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Thanks AC! I believe Jake is probably overly optimistic, but we will see what's next. The picture on my signature card and in the header of the story is a weeping willow that's my favorite tree ever. It started growing the year I was born. It was knocked down by the wind last year. I know it sounds weird, but I'm using this tree as a motif later in the story. Thanks so much Lisa for a lovely review.
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Thanks for reading and commenting. There are more questions than answers, especially at first. I love hearing opinions, so don't be shy. I was a little worried readers wouldn't like using the blog to reveal pieces of Jake's life and character as the entries flow. Thanks for the wonderful comments.
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Self-delusion is the default of an addict. You are absolutely right, but he has one thing going for him. I appreciate the insightful comment. I'm glad you like the idea of using the blog to look into his mind and develop Jake's character. The young are as likely to have chemical issues as older people. Thanks for the lovely comment. There will be a great deal of self-reflection going on. Thanks for the delightful review. I think I should start a discussion thread for this story. I was going to wait, but I should do it now!..
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Very true! Thanks for the comment. Jake's got a complicated history with addiction as you will see. More than anything, I believe he's scared at this point.
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So Weeps the Willow – Prologue For those reading this for the first time, this may be a bit odd. For others, I give you the next paragraph. Are you surprised? Jake’s blog was recounting his journey toward sobriety. He was trying to improve his life, and then suddenly, he died. Out of nowhere, he is gone. Most mysteries start with a person’s life and character recounted in retrospect. I’m doing something quite different for a reason. A person lives their life, does their thi
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