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Comicality

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Everything posted by Comicality

  1. Wednesday - You know...every time I think I have a certain grasp on who might have kissed me at my party...something comes along and screws up the whole investigation. I'm seriously starting to think that I'm going to have to start just coming right out and interrogating people. At least the ones that I'm 'out' to. I don't know about the ones who still don't know. But at least I'll be able to narrow my list down a bit more. Anyway, BIG turn of events today! It was something that I k
  2. Tuesday - WOW!!! I mean, like...like....WOW!!! Ok...so, like...I kinda found out a small piece of what I missed from my party! Or...actually I DIDN'T miss it!!! But it took Simon to kind bring back a bit of a hazy memory that I had completely forgotten about! And I don't know how the FUCK I could just 'forget' something like this, but I DID! And...and....WOW!!! Omigod...WOW! Ok...so, I've been seriously trying to FORCE my brain to remember every detail of this that it could, but I can only
  3. Sunday - Lee.... That's what has been in my mind most of the day, despite a valiant effort to keep myself from getting too excited about it all. If I had to actually count the number of times that phone conversation went through my mind in the last 24 hours alone...I'd probably want to check myself into a mental institution! Or at LEAST a 'Lee Rehab Center'...which I'm sure is full of people who were foolish enough to think that he was as infatuated with them as they were with him.
  4. Saturday - I am soooooo tired right now! And it's only like 9 o'clock! Maybe if my stupid dad didn't get me up at like fucking 7 AM to mow the stupid fucking LAWN this morning....I'd have some energy!!! Why the hell would someone have to mow the lawn that early in the morning on a weekend??? HUH??? What's the purpose? Couldn't I just mow the lawn at 3 in the afternoon and get the same effect? Or am *I* the one that's FUCKED in the head here??? I hate it here. I really do. I don't wa
  5. Friday - This 6 AM bullshit has GOT to stop! Seriously! You wanna know what happened this morning? I was having a dream about Jamie Cross! A DREAM dream, you know? I was dreaming that he was the one who kissed me on Monday night. That he leaned over me, and helped me to lie down...and when I pulled his head down, and our lips met...it was like the love in my heart just snatched my breath away! But this time, in my dream, Jamie was naked! TOTALLY naked! Do you have any IDEA what a dr
  6. Thursday - My back still hurts from that fucking sofa bed contraption in my father's basement! There's, like, this big ass iron PIPE in the middle of the mattress...and it just plain *HURTS* no matter which way you lay on it! What's so 'convenient and comfy' about a big ass metal BAR in the small of your back all night??? I tried to sleep on my stomach, but it just made my stomach and chest hurt. I tried to lay on my side, but it practically bruised my ribs on either side. I even tried to lay
  7. Wednesday - You know, I would have thought that after making so many mistakes that I couldn't take back once they were made...I would have learned to keep out of trouble by now. Or at least THIS amount of trouble! But I guess I can just strike up another big loss for Billy Chase in this book today...and just try to deal with it as best as I can. I should have known that life was going to start rolling downhill again. BOY was I ever caught off guard. So I managed to avoid my mom all
  8. Tuesday - ..........Note to self..... I may never...EVER...drink another drop of alcohol in my life! EVER again! I have never felt so bad in all my days on this fucking planet! And I swear....if I throw up just ONE more time, I'm gonna hack up a freakin' TESTICLE!!! I actually think I saw a piece of my Batman birthday cake from the fifth grade swishing around in the toilet this afternoon! Yesterday is so....so blurry. My God, if it wasn't for this notebook, I doubt I would
  9. Here you will find the very private diary of Billy Chase. Occasionally updated as he lives his life as a closeted teenage boy. This is his life, feel free to peek in from time to time.
  10. Monday - I saw them today. And it would make my heart sing proud if I could sit here right now and say that it didn't sting. A *LOT*!!! But, no such luck. It hurts so much that you almost want to hold your breath to the point of nearly passing out, just so you can have something else to focus on besides the pain. Then again...pain is all I have left of him. I know that Brandon saw me. I know that Stevie did too. But they didn't even acknowledge me. Not even enough to turn their backs on me
  11. MY FIFTEENTH BIRTHDAY!!!! - I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO excited right now!!! It's still early, but I'm actually gonna take this book out of the house for the very first time EVER tonight! Hehehe, seriously! I've NEVER done that before, but I wanna document every single moment of this party as it's happening. From my first kiss with Brandon when we get back together, to the color shirt that Jamie Cross is wearing, to the music that's playing while everybody shows up to wish me well. My adrenaline ru
  12. Sunday - I had a bit of a bizarre experience today. I actually got a chance to talk to Trace on the phone earlier. And...I don't know..it was so weird. But in that really cool way, where you didn't really expect to enjoy something as much as you did. It's hard to explain. But he sounds really cute on the phone. Not that he doesn't sound cute in real life too, but...I guess it was this strange 'outside of school' conversation that seemed so much more fun than the usual accidental bumping into
  13. Saturday - Wow...this is going to be one hell of a weekend to remember. I can't believe that I'm writing this right now...and I don't really know how to feel about it either. But... Sam and Joanna broke up today. Geez, just looking at the words written out on this page is just so....weird, you know? I can't figure out if this is a good thing, or a bad thing, or...just a 'thing'. See, Sam came over earlier today, and right away I could tell that there was a problem. Sam doesn't
  14. Friday - Ahhhhhh!!! Ok, you wanna know something? Whether or not you really 'believe' in the concept of having 'gaydar'...I swear that I got smacked in the face with it harder today than I ever have before! Listen, lot's of other good stuff happened today too...and I would usually save this kinda stuff for later... But.....AHHHHH!!!!! I've gotta talk about it RIGHT now! Hehehe! Seriously, it's got me feeling so WEIRD right now! Ok, ok....so I went to Lee's house after school today.
  15. Thursday - It's just destiny! It's GOTTA be! I'm telling you..everything that I did went so perfectly today, that it was like God himself was guiding me in all the right directions! I'm seriously grinning from ear to ear right now! Even with certain things being kinda weird. But even THAT was to my advantage today! See...my parents kinda had a bit of a falling out on the phone tonight. Something about bills or some kind of financial bullshit that they were both supposed to take care of.
  16. Wednesday - Is there any way for a guy to take a bigger sigh of relief??? Looks like Sam's not gonna be a 'daddy' after all! At least according to Joanna's little take home pregnancy thing. I was sooooo relieved to hear that! Because, to be honest, I had absolutely NO freakin' idea what to do for him if she had actually been 'preggers'! No idea at ALL! The weird thing is, Sam kinda skipped out on lunch today. I was looking to sorta...celebrate, you know? But something is bugging him
  17. Tuesday - Hehehe....you know, I just had the weirdest image in my mind of Jimmy LaPlane wrapping his arms around Jamie Cross and totally kissing him on the mouth! Hahaha! I tried to cal him to see how the interview thing went, but he's not answering his phone. I wonder what happened. I saw him school today, and he was shaking so bad that he could hardly walk straight. I was like, "Dude...what's the matter?" He said, "I don't know if I can do this, Billy. This thing with Jamie Cross
  18. Monday - An...'interesting' day today. That's about as well as I can explain. But I can say one thing...I'm seriously...like...SERIOUSLY thinking of getting me something sharp a STABBING a certain 'someone' who really decided to test my patience today. But I'll get to that in a minute. BELIEVE me! I talked to Sam some more at lunch today. It seems Joanna decided to 'take the day off' from school. Which is understandable since she might be....sighhhh...fucking PREGNANT!!!! Ugh! A par
  19. Sunday - I think..... I think I'm having trouble even writing this right now. So I might need some time to get my thoughts together. I'm just.... I'm in a state of total 'shock' really. I just can't.... I can't believe... I need to start with something a bit easier to talk about. This whole thing is just...too big for me to handle right now. I had this really weird dream about Bobby Jinette last night. Or, this morning actually. I dreamed that I was having m
  20. Saturday - When I got up this morning...I have to admit that I was still kinda worried about Bobby Jinette, and the mood he was in when I left. After what happened with Jimmy LaPlane, I just...I don't know if I trust myself to be smart enough to see that sorta thing coming from a distance. I almost called him again this morning..but I thought it might be kinda...'weird'. I mean...ugh! Ok, let me see if I can explain how this might look to Bobby if I'm not careful. I mean. I'm worried abo
  21. Friday - I think... I think that maybe some of the things I've done in the past have come back to hit me pretty hard. And yeah...maybe I deserved that. But when I talk to Bobby Jinette...I can't help but feel so hurt for him. I mean...what did HE do that was so awful, other than fall in love with someone that I guess he wasn't meant to have. I think going over there today just put so many things in perspective. And I think that maybe I understand some things a little clearer than I did b
  22. Thursday - Well, it certainly is nice to know that SOMEBODY is getting laid! Actually...I don't even know where that expression came from. Because it really isn't nice at all. But I'll grin and bear it regardless. Sam actually came clean today about him and Joanna. It seems that they've been doing the deed a LOT these days at his house. Ugh! I used to sleepover in that bed! Sam came over to my house after school, all happy and giggling about it. You know...I'm not even really m
  23. Wednesday - I just got off the phone with Jimmy. We had an...interesting talk tonight. But before I get to that... So I kinda woke up feeling all sad and 'ache-y' from last night. I would just kinda cry off and on...but the worst part was the big sucker punch pain running through my stomach. I just wanted to go to sleep and be 'unconscious' for a while. Anything to keep me from thinking about Brandon and Stevie kissing underneath those bleachers yesterday. But I kept seeing it. I kept fe
  24. Tuesday - How long do I wait? I mean...how long until I can..well...until things begin to... I've been staring at this damn piece of paper for I don't know HOW long now, trying to find the words to really describe my day. And I haven't really figured anything out yet. I'm gonna keep trying until I get it right though. I kinda need to 'talk', you know? Anyway, so I've been laying on my bed, eating jellybeans until I'm almost sick of 'em. I ingested so many jellybeans in the last few
  25. Monday - I had this weirdly pleasant dream that one of our substitute teachers turned out to be a Terminator cyborg from the future. And he chased Stevie down in the street and unloaded a whole ammo clip into his face while everybody in school watched, and laughed, and just plain cheered for his demise. And while that may have fulfilled some kind of wildly psychotic need for me to really hurt him for being Brandon's new official boyfriend...it didn't solve the problem. Not hardly. When I
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