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Comicality

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  1. Comicality
    June 1st AJ, AJ, AJ....his name is AJ! It's all I've been thinking about since yesterday! You know...when you keep reliving the slightest teeniest tinyest moments that you spent with someone, and get that warm fuzzy feeling inside? Omigod....he's so CUTE! What if he likes me? What if I go back next week...and we hook up or something? Can you imagine how HOT that would be??? Sigh...I feel like I wanna laugh all day long! I couldn't even get out of bed this morning right away because my whole b
  2. Comicality
    May 29th - One day he's down, the next day he's fine! I don't get it! I'm talking, of course, about Jimmy LaPlane. He came in all shits and giggles again, and I'm seriouly starting to wonder if even HE knows how he's going to feel on any particular day. He was even talking and laughing with people that he had never talked to before. People who usually watch from the sidelines as he gets picked on and beaten up by the bigger kids. And now they were acting like he was the greatest thing since s
  3. Comicality
    Saturday - Ok! So something has actually 'happened' to me today! I'm feeling really giddy right now, and I keep finding myself staring out into nothingness with a goofy smile on my face! I don't think I've eer felt anything like this before! Am I in love? WOW! I don't know! Maybe I am! Hehehe! Ok...so here's the story! Me and Joanna went out to the mall today, as we usually do on weekends. I think she's a shop-a-holic, honestly. And of course Lee and Ted were there too! So we're having fun
  4. Comicality
    Wednesday - Ok.....SLIGHT problem here today! I talked to Joanna at lunch today, walking over and expecting everything to be 'normal'. Well, the second I sit down, she starts being a little more clingy than usual, hugging my arm and everything, and the next thing I know...she's asking me about going to some stupid DANCE next Friday! Is she kidding? Billy Chase does NOT dance! I repeat...Billy Chase? Dancing? No! Nada! Never! Never EVER! NOT gonna happen! I have only been to one dance in my li
  5. Comicality
    Tuesday - Okaaaaay....I just spent the last several minutes looking at myself dance in the mirror. Um...that's not what dancing looks like in the music videos on MTV, that's for sure. What am I, retarded? You'd think that hearing music with a good beat to it would just force your body to move in a way that would keep you from being totally humiliated in public. I never thought of myself as an expert dancer or anything, but in my mind I thought I looked a little better than THAT! Don't ever wa
  6. Comicality
    Friday - I am SO confused! So helplessly CONFUSED!!! The events of tonight's dance have sorta...'complicated' things. Don't get me wrong...tonight was AWESOME! But it's sorta hard to really put into words what's happening to me, and I almost don't want to be smiling from ear to ear like I am as I write this. There's SOOOO much going haywire in my head right now! It seems like everything is upside down and backwards, and I wonder exactly what path I seem to be speeding down right now as far as
  7. Comicality
    Thursday - You know what I thought about today? What it would be like to really be 'together' with AJ. You remember...the cute boy from the mall? It's almost the weekend again, and I've been moving mountains to keep myself out of trouble so I could go to the mall and see him again. Something inside of me kept telling me not to get my hopes up, but THAT'S pretty much an impossible feat this time around. I've stared at his phone number a BUNCH of times! I've just been waiting for the right time
  8. Comicality
    Monday -Word evidently spreads around awfully quick among the rest of the people at my school! I think more people saw me and Joanna making out in the parking lot than people saw Janet Jackson's titty at the Superbowl! Coming back to school was like coming back a celebrity! I wasn't sure exactly how to feel about that though. On one hand, it was cool to get the stares, the high fives, and that instant acceptance that this whole situation seems to have showered me with. But...on the OTHER hand
  9. Comicality
    Saturday -The house is so quiet right now. I'm not here all by myself, my parents are here. But it's dead silent anyway. They're hardly speaking at all, and when they do, it sounds like they're whispering. As though keeping quiet was going to somehow make me feel better. Everytime I leave my room, they look at me. Not just a normal look, but one of...I don't know...worry. They seem so 'artificial' to me all of the sudden. Completely alien. Where was all of this excessive attention when they w
  10. Comicality
    Sunday - Just the other day, I was wondering what I knew about AJ and if I could ever hope to make that entire 'concept' of having a cute gay boyfriend a reality. Just the other day...I doubted that there was anything to build on, and wondered if I knew anything about this boy at all other than he was sexy and I wanted him so badly that my TONGUE hurt! But NOW? Now he's all I think about! Every ten seconds, I swear! I think about him, and I smile, and I feel this weird...'orgasm' rush over my
  11. Comicality
    Wednesday - What's normal anymore? I mean...what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just...'go back to my life' now? Am I supposed to just do homework and eat lunch and watch mindless comedies on television? How can I do that knowing that Jimmy might not be alive right now? How can I do that knowing that he'd rather die than spend one more day living in the pain that we caused him? The thoughts of him hurting himself played over and over and OVER again in my mind. Actually cutting himse
  12. Comicality
    Friday -Sam ditched school today. No word at all, just left. Strange enough, I felt bad about missing my chance to at least 'soften' the blow that I had dealt him during our argument on Wednesday. If he hadn't PERSUED it so damn hard, I might have left the whole issue alone! But....I guess that's beside the point, isn't it? Sighhh...anyway, the weirdest part of it all is that he ditched 'alone'. I think this marks the first time he's ever cut school without me. It's just not Sam's thing, you
  13. Comicality
    Tuesday - You wanna know something? Joanna is definitely in 'heat' these days or something, because it seems like I can't even LOOK at her for more than a second without her wanting to kiss me! I don't get it. She's been so...'cautious' with me until recently. Whatever it was that she was holding back before, she's obviously beginning to let go of it. She kissed me in the halls, she kissed me at lunch, she kissed me after lunch, and before last period, she sucked on my NECK like her life depe
  14. Comicality
    Thursday - Fight! Fight! Fight! There was a BIG fist fight outside of the Chemistry Lab today! It was awesome! A good match up too. The loser was given parting gifts in the form of a bloody nose and a serious black eye! The winner left with a bruised cheek, and the cheers of his fellow classmates. You know....I really hate to admit my own 'savagery' by saying that I enjoyed this, when deep down I feel like I should be repulsed by it. But the truth is, I think we all have this weird evil insti
  15. Comicality
    Sunday - First thing I did this morning was jack off again! I'm serious! I feel like I'm hard all the time now! That's just what memories of kissing AJ does to me! Oh God....AJ is my boyfriend! Can you believe that??? I have a REAL LIFE boyfriend!!! And he thinks I'm cute! And he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him! And he's AWESOME! He sent me an email today, just to tell me that he had a good time and he wants me to have a "Cool Sunday"! Those were his exact words! "Have a Cool S
  16. Comicality
    Wednesday - I saw Sam today at school, when it was just the two of us. I can't believe that it had been over a week since we have really 'connected' one on one, and that's mostly my fault. I'm sure of that. So I made a weak attempt to make things seem 'normal' between us again. The truth is...nothing destroys normality more efficiently than 'trying to act normal'. But at least he didn't back away from me or shut me out. In fact, he seemed just as weird about the whole thing, and that was comf
  17. Comicality
    Saturday - I'm gasping! I'm soaring! I'm FLYING! I'm...WAY beyond the word 'happy' right now! I'm like...I'm like...SHIT! They need a new word for this! How about 'sweebo-swabble'??? That's a good enough word! Hehehe! That's what I am from now on! 'Sweebo-swabble'! Anyway, let me try to put this day into some kind of order here. First of all, let me tell you, one of the WORST sounds you can ever possibly wake up to...right up there with 'Revelrie bugle' and the loud shriek of a crying baby
  18. Comicality
    Sunday - I'm always looking a myself in the mirror to see if I'm any different than I was yesterday. It doesn't really show on my face that I've had sex, but it kinda feels like people can tell anyway. Sometimes, if I think about it hard enough....it's like I can still feel his mouth on me. I can still feel the suction of his wet lips around me...and I nearly fall over. I was blushing all through dinner last night, tonight being TWICE as bad, and keep popping boners every five minutes just th
  19. Comicality
    April 25th - Thank God it's Friday! I truly need a weekend. There's just this constant yearning for it that starts every week around Wednesday morning, and it gets stronger the closer you get to 3:30 Friday afternoon. The weekend...the glorious weekend. Then, in a blink, it's gone. And the process starts all over again. I'd much rather do two days of school and five days of actual living...but I guess that's never gonna happen. Jimmy LaPlane didn't come to school at all today. I know he di
  20. Comicality
    April 21st - So, tell me....I invited Simon over as planned, and didn't make a single move on him the whole time that he was here. Now does that make me a 'coward', or does that make me smart for not rushing into this? Because I'm not really sure about how I feel right now. Yeah, yeah...I know what the ADULTS with my 'best interests' in mind would say...but I'm talking about an HONEST answer here. If it was up to THEM I'd be a virgin until I was 40! We ALL would! So what is it? I'm thinking '
  21. Comicality
    March 27th Have you ever had one of those days when you're just horny? I don't mean like, 'boy I could really use some sex' kinda horny. I mean, 'I'll fuck anything that walks and probably a few things that don't' kinda horny! HORNY horny!!! That's how I feel today! Jesus Christ, if I masturbate anymore I'm going to break the old equipment. It was one of those moments when you've hit about three or four squirts in a row, but you find yourself getting hard again anyway. And even though you KNO
  22. Comicality
    March 22nd Great! I look back over my last few entries, and what do I see? Masturbation, goo goo eyes, and lust. Is that stereotypical or what? You know, it's strange, but I don't really feel 'gay' most of the time. I know it sounds silly, but it's the truth. I get up, I go to school, and I'm just a person like everyone else. Sure, there are a lot of guys that I drool over constantly, and I think about sex an awful lot...but that's not the only important part of my life. Well...considering th
  23. Comicality
    March 19th Um....ok...well...how do I start this thing off? Okay...um...hello? Great, now I'm talking to a BOOK for Christ's sakes! OK, well, this is my new journal. My english teacher told me to keep one for the rest of the semester, and here I am. But I'll be keeping TWO journals, and this one is for me. And ONLY for me! The other one I'll fill up with rainbows and silly little day to thoughts...whatever will keep people happy with the everyday adventures of your average teenage boy. But th
  24. Comicality
    April 5th - Well, Sam and I had a fight yesterday. Sigh...I don't even remember what the hell it was about, but it happened, and we didn't speak to each other for the rest of the night. In fact, we walked away from each other at the hill, and left in anger over the whole thing. But...you know what the strange thing is? It's ok. Is that weird, or what? Let me explain. Sam and I have been friends for so long, that we're practically siamese twins at this point. I cling to him so tightly that
  25. Comicality
    April 2nd I had the weirdest dream last night! Well not weird so much, just out of the ordinary. And naturally, it was about Jamie! I think that I can officially classify this as an obsession at this point. Anyway, it was just him and me in the local mall, and we were shopping for stuff. And he kept laughing at all the weird sex games and stuff that we came upon in the Spencer Gift Shop. Stuff like 'over the hill pills' and 'sexual trivia' games. The sad thing is, there was nothing at all sex
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