Headstall

Lol. Tell me how you really feel! This is the reaction I was hoping for, my dear, sweet friend. Yes, the confusion and fear is gone, Lucas was the red-haired cowboy, the first man Boone had sex with, the one who taught him things 'he needed to know'. He was the one Coy saw kissing Boone. Are any of us surprised he fell for Boone hard? It's tough to say whether Reid saw Lucas as a challenge, or whether he really was changing and looking for something more stable. Sometimes that is a process, but I don't think it really mattered where he was at as far as Lucas was concerned. Lucas loved Boone, and Reid couldn't replace that. We all knows the pitfalls and dangers of rebounds. I think Reid did love Lucas... the man is a keeper for sure... but his attempts were always doomed. Love cannot be forced, even if the sex is great. It's what makes love so special... that mysterious attraction that often comes out of nowhere and often defies logic or planning. I can tell you honestly that Will Diamond was not the man who raped and brutalized Jubal in that hotel room. Though he would kind of fit the cruel profile, so kudos for thinking of him. Jubal's compassion for Earl, the preacher's son tells us even more about the man. It was the ultimate betrayal, but he understands what religious zealots can do... the hate, self and otherwise that they inspire. I expect Earl was beaten often, and we could almost bet his pa knew of his leanings. Pure ugliness. Fanfuckingtastic? Woot! Thank you!! And another Happy Year Year to a wonderful and supportive friend. Lol to the questioner's demise... "tripping head first into a pit toilet and breaking his neck". You should write... it would be eye-opening and amusing, I'm sure.

Exactly, J J! The bible is a book, written by men, and its words get twisted all the time. So much of it is ridiculous, but those who hate will fixate on a few select passages. The fact is, while we cant really blame inanimate object, this particular one inspires ugliness when it should do the opposite. Thanks, buddy. I hope you enjoyed the chapter... and Happy New Year to you and yours.

There is so much sadness in this chapter, but it led to something special in the end. There is trust between these two men, and Jubal saying he wasn't afraid of anything but losing what they just found was a huge deal. I believe we all were rooting for Jubal to be happy as we watched his almost superhuman efforts over the course of this story... and now he is. He can be himself after all that hiding and self blame. Every time he tried to be himself, he got brutalized, so it is amazing, the capacity he has for love. As far as Lucas, he has come through his own fires after falling in love for the first time... with Boone... so he too is a man who knows what he lost and knows what he wants. I think we can have faith in these two now. The fences are busted, and while there might still be fears, neither man is stupid. They will make this work. Sometimes, in writing about religion and it's relationship to gay folk, I often worry about it being cliche, but the fact is, the bible is a perfect bludgeon for those who want to hate, and has been used as such for centuries. I don't fault religion per se... but I do fault these preachers and 'god-fearing' folk' who use it to fuel their hate. Even today, it is used that way, and it is ugly. So many young people taught who there are is wrong, and that God hates them. Its all bullshit... but it is dangerous just the same. Anyway... thanks, my friend, for their support. I always look forward to hearing your thoughts on what I write. Cheers and Happy new Year.

Lol. Yeah, he kind of did. I give Lucas credit for showing his cards... and his trust in Lucas. Jubal confused him, so he was taking a risk, but I believe he trusted his instincts. Because he did, Jubal was able to return the favor. It was the opposite with him... he went against his learned instincts, and while telling his stories of brutality was hard and emotion-filled, it was also exactly what he needed to do. So yeah, this is now officially a love story. Encore? Well... I can tell you there are still more chapters to come. Thanks, my friend, and Happy New Year!

Wow. Strongest ever? Thank you so much, Leo. I was hoping this chapter would have a powerful impact after our journey so far. It certainly did on me, and there are more chapters to come... and I truly appreciate the support and praise. Happy New Year, my friend.

Hey, Sherye! Happy I made your day. Jubal had some awful stories to tell, but having someone to share with is what he needed. They have each found what they were looking for, and they trust they have is what made it possible.

Thank you, George. Carlos is impossible to forget, and I'm happy there are tributes to him being posted. He left a legacy with his writing, and with his friendships.

Thanks, Les!! So pleased the chapter made you feel this way. The stories were hard, but the sharing was beautiful for me. Lucas got past Jubal's fences by trusting him, and was trusted in return. To find love a second time is a blessing not to be taken for granted. Happy New Year, buddy.

Happy New Year to you too, em. Yeah, we finally know Jubal's story, and it is a particularly brutal one. I think Jubal has a lot of resentment for his pa, but just maybe his father's treatment helped him to survive abuse later in his life. Trail by fire sort of thing? It takes an unbreakable strength to survive being drug by a rope, raped... or attempted rape, pistol whipped and beaten, betrayed by your own kind, and all because you are gay. He hasn't had love since Vincent... until now. That preacher was a cruel and evil man, yet Jubal has sympathy for his son. That is remarkable in so many ways, and I admire him too. And yes, Lucas deserves a lot of credit for how he handled Jubal. He gave him absolute respect and allowed him to decide what he would say. We know Lucas's past now, and the pain he endured after falling in love with Boone, and then leaving. Regrets are often the worst kind of torture. I find it impressive that he resisted Reid... holding out for real love. Even after he saw Boone and Coy in Larkspur, he still wouldn't settle for something less. Seems to me, these two are ready for this commitment they now have. Thank you, my dear friend.

Awesome, Albert!! Great way to start the New Year, right?

Why thank you, kind sir! I haven't had a man bow to me in quite a while. I'm an emotional person, and I do really live these characters. I've known Jubal's story since before I started writing this book. I think it was the first scene I imagined in my head, and what really got Bearpaw started, and so yeah, I understand the something in your eye. Jubal has been sorely tested, and it is a wonder he survived and that he is still such a good person. He admits to bitterness, but I've seen bitterness, and his pales in comparison. I chalk it up to Vincent, who gave him a strong base, something to compare to, and to hope for. I very much like how you saw the scene between them, and I agree it was as much a commitment ceremony as men back then could contemplate. More chapters still to come. These men have had separate journeys, but they are on the same page. I don't think it is surprising that Boone had such an effect on Lucas. We already know he's a keeper, so no wonder the 'red-haired cowboy', as Coy once described him, fell in love for the first time. I appreciate the nice comment about my storytelling skills, buddy. All I know is that, like you, I work hard at my craft. Cheers, and Happy New Year!

Hey, Kris! Happy New Year! I hope I find better health too. I think I'm getting there. Glad this chapter made you happy despite the sorrow of their pasts. And yes, those fences have been washed away by a flood of words. Thank you for the constant and appreciated support, buddy.

I believe Lucas was in tune with Jubal's pain, but it took him not wanting to stay in the cabin, and that fear, to make their moment happen. His honesty when he says "Might have hoped for it, Jubal" opened up the conversation... and Jubal. So yeah, the dam burst, and like one of those streams, the words flowed from Jubal. I hope it was satisfying, this new level of understanding they've reached. I know all about secrets and hiding, but hiding away that much pain and fear would have broke many men. Jubal is courageous... he's as brave as they come, but as long as he carried that weight alone, he wasn't able to see who he really is. Now he has Lucas to share it, and is beginning to see his bravery. He feels it. I'm getting maudlin, but this chapter and their stories past and present really affected me. Thanks for the support and for sharing your thoughts with me, my friend.

Thank, you, Ford. Hearing this means a lot to me. So glad I did not disappoint. It was one I fretted over getting right. Happy New Year to you too, my friend.

Good point that surviving all those things made Jubal who he is. He is so strong... and brave... and even if he doesn't see it, Lucas does. Jubal is infused with strength and compassion. We all see it. Thanks for this, Albert. I'm so pleased you feel your patience paid off.

He certainly did, and it was hard holding onto that as a writer. That awful dragging scene haunted me... I saw it in my mind before I started Bearpaw. I hope readers understand him better now. He is a special man... and a survivor.

Superb poetry, and a superb and fitting tribute to Carlos.

Wow. Anger, power, and pride, encased in beautiful words. A very fitting tribute to Carlos--I have no doubt he would approve--and so much more. Some of your finest, Parker. I found them thrilling. Thank you.

Thanks, Doc. Very happy you thought so. It was a long wait, wasn't it? I hope the pieces fell where they belonged.

Thanks, spyke! You too.

You got me, Def. I was moved by this. Thank you.

I don't think you could have written anything better than this, Def. It was touching, revealing, warm, amusing, and your sincerity and grief can be found in each word. Friendship is a beautiful thing... and you were both lucky to share such a special one. You describe him so well, and I miss him too... I miss knowing he is around in some corner of GA, or most often front and center. All those years left a legacy....

A new chapter has posted, dedicated to the memory of Carlos Hazday. He is missed as we start this new year.

Bustin' Fences “You moved everything over from the old cabin? All I seen was the stairs when I walked in… didn’t notice nothing else. Lord above! I’m still pondering how you did all this. Look at all the room we got in here!” Jubal shrugged his shoulders, pleased as all get out at the look on Lucas’s face, one like a kid finally getting a store-bought toy what he'd been pining for. “Wanted it ready for your moving in. Didn’t know where you’d want to put your belongings, b

Thank you, Terry. Hope your night went well.