Daisy

here is what I posted a few minute ago: I'm not really sure where I stand on it. I think that a person's life is only their buisness, so there should be no need to kind of make a big thing of declaring it to the world. Three of my close friends are bisexuals, and I got to know about them in different ways. The first told me privately at 16 oneday, and since then she has been open about who or what she likes - and new friends since those days just get confronted with it in conversation say when she talks about random things, she doesnt explain, I think she just forgets, and its not a problem anyway. The second, in school there were rumours he was gay, he was slightly effiminate, I can't even remember how he told me he was bisexual but it must have come up, although all his last relationships in the last 4 years have been guys (which is why he came out to his parents - but as bisexual). The third suprised us all when she starting snogging another friend on a night out a year ago, that was a double coming out. One of the girls had been wanting to tell us for ages that she was a lesbian but was scared, the other, I didnt really know untill then, but that was her coming out as a bisexual. She just started a relationship with the other girl and that was it (well after she broke up with her bf), and been very open about it in my hometown. If people ask is she a lesbian she just smiles and lets them think what they want, but most don't ask. They temporarily broke up, she started dating another guy, but now is back with the other girl (I think she is confusing alot of people, but she's as comfortable as ever, she amazes me at times). I think its important among friends. We are all very open with each other and can talk about pretty much anything - it wouldn't be the same if people hadn't come out in their own ways - if they had remained hidden. It may be easier to work out who you can like if people are clearly out, but I don't think that its fair or necessary that people are. Celia

yep alota life to live yet. i'm looking forward to it.

Again congrats, I have read some of your stories and noted some of your high involvement in running GA. Again congratulations! Married at 22?!!! Though am expecting some of my friends to begin the whole engagment thing soon (and kids... ), but its still quite scary to me, reminds me I'm growing up.

I've found that recently I have to have a penname to leave feedback for efiction authors (which I don't have). Before I could just leave feedback with I presume my gayauthors name (or maybe it didnt require a name can't remember). Thats detered me recently, but if I get time I may get a penname so I can give feedback. Celia

Hia, just thought I'd dip in because depression has become a big part of my life as well. My mum, who is a UK GP (doc) herself, up until 2 weeks ago just spent 4 months in a mental hospital. Her depression had been building and building over the years, she had developed 'immunity' as Graeme described, there is alot of inward turned anger and frustration, but ultimatley the last year and various 'sources' as you say contributed to her not being able to withstand the depression - initially to me it seemed like she was having a breakdown - but one like a whirlwind. Anyway after a year full of lots of events, she progressively got worse and more erratic, isolated herself from people who could help further. At christmas she ran out of energy I think, she basically wasnt sleeping. She had finally acknowledged that she had been suffering from depression for the bulk of her life just before this and saw a recommended pscyhiatrist (let me tell you docs are the Worst patients!). Thankg he realised how severe her depression had become, I certainly didnt know what to do and hadnt even considered the idea that hospital was an option. But anyway what I was leading to was that my mum had entered what I refer to as a 'catatonic state', she was basically numb, lifeless, but not (crying, not coping, social phobia). Just after xmas I took her to be sectioned (voluntarily) so yes she was suicidal. I was obviously desperate that they help her, and knew about most of the past issues that I believed to be the root cause of most of this - and yes agree she is on route for it to take about 3 years for her to deal with. But to get to that point required medical help, not just therapy. I got so frustrated why they were just doing the medical therapy, thought they were wasting their time, they didnt care enough. But now that we are through that stage of it, my mum is realising about her problems and is committed to dealing with them, I can look back and realise the importance of what the doctor did. He diagnosed her with acute 'clinical' depression. So I suppose this is where it could vary, if we havent got a miscommunication between countries. There was no way my mum was ready or in any fit state to begin to look at her problems until she was in a state where she was relatively stable and 'awake'. I was wary of anti-depressants, she had been on them for years and so couldnt really say they worked (and I really believe they caused the severe nightmares that lead to the lack of sleep the nov/dec), but they tried new ones, she's still on them. But they also tried ECT. I, had NO clue that this was still a method, or that even had really been a serious one, and I don't think I am prepared to watch 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' just yet. It was the thing that got my mum out of the severe state she had been in, almost physically pain free. Though it was only after the course of (12) she had been on was that realised extent of 'short-term' memory loss that been warned could happen. What I'm trying to say though is that, at least in this case, therapy was not enough, medication was needed. but they still don't really have a clue what they are doing, thats the dangerous part. They haven't got a scientific explanation for ECT (which btw is electro-convulsive-therapy) beyond speculation about 'fits', the anti-depressants are hit and miss, with some potential badbad side-effects depending on how the patient reacts and that they may not have even realised about yet, and thats not even mentioning all the older ones which were even more dangerous. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I'm an advocate for medical therapy now that its worked for my mum, but still very wary about whats developed. it seems like stuck in a rock and a hard place. Mental health is certainly something that is not understood enough, by docs and the general public. and more common than people will admit (if they recognise they have such conditions at all). Sorry for the long post, got carried away. had other points to add to the original topic but forgetton what, so will maybe add later. Celia "BTW, this are just examples from my personal experiences. In my long and diverse professional activity, I had the chance (or the mischance !) to manage a General Clinic with 45 beds and 2 operation-rooms during more than 4 years. Crazy world ! and the patients are not the craziest :wacko" and yes, from all my exposre to the medical world, that description definetly fits. (havnt quite got the hang of this very complicated quoting system yet ).

HIa, thought I'd say hello for the first time! Just to say that I understood what message you were trying to give and interpreted in my own way as you intended, it took me a puzzled few seconds to realize what had happened, but I did get it -- I don't think it was lacking in any way, so cheer up. Also to reiterate I would have loved to have the story continue and discover what is destined for the characters next, but I accepted easily (and naturally) that it was the end of the story being told, and for my imagination to begin, not that I am saying its an abrubt ending but a just one as someone else as has already said, it fits perfectly with life -- it Always goes on and continues with twists. Badically well done and I hope you have a good life whatever you decide and happens!