Daisy

Thanks Bob and Zilar!! It certainly wasnt too late. Its what I am going to try to do, its what I had learnt this year was to be the main aims in my life. im going to try not to rush myself and spend the summer/next year working out exactly what my plans are going to be. Thanks for the advice and support :king: Celia

Well, we'll see, we were both quite drunk really when I look back . I still think he is quite reserved about it all, though he did bring up the subject once I'd told him that guy had dated 2 of my friends from home. I feel alittle bit bad for asking him, twice, since he had to ask me the question again, then admonished he should have told me earlier but nevermind, my tongue was abit loose with alcohol, it's done now. goodluck with your results!!!!!! your exams are over now aren't they so relax and party, the euro summer is upon us. Celia

Thanks alot all!!!!!!! Its sunny so the days started well . I'm going to celebrate with friends and family. It feels like its the end of something, the end of my degree and living with my uni friends, the end of a lot of family hassle, the end of being not-an-offical adult and onto what...I haven't decided yet, but its wierd having no plans and returning home in a week. Lots of love Celia

I passed, and now have the hangover to prove it. I'm happy with my result, its not outstanding but decent and I feel like I've grown alot this year and really come to love my subject. I'm supposed to be packing but I don't want to move too much (damn, my hangovers aren't usually like this). But I'm pleased , and now I have no excuse to not sort out the future.... Celia

Hia, just thought I might as well update. I didnt confront him, I waited and he told me yesterday on a night out. well sorta . He was dropping hints like ... the cricket team's are ususally fit (we were looking at uni photos), and then when we bumbed into a mutual friend who I had gone to highschool with who had dated 2 of my friends (M&F) from home, turns out HE had gone on a date with him also . It is a very smallll world. so I just thought I'd end it and ask him if he was seeing anyone, so he eventually told me . glad that mess is over, I don't like pretending I don't know things. but it ended well Celia

, goodluck with the last one! I am waiting my degree results, only 3hours and a half left, the nerves are starting to annoy me. oh well, I'll post back later if there is anything to celebrate (I hope). Celia

Thanks for the advice. Its my gran not my mum who has pneumonia (and who was the nurse/headteacher) if I wasnt very clear . All of my 3 aunts/uncles and my mum (who are all GP's) are all looking after her and making her follow strict orders (as much as is possible with her now she's getting abit of strength back - she's a fiesty lady ), but I'll mention the respiratory therapy and see what they say. but if you were referring to my mum from some of my posts elsewhere she too is recovering (from acute depression) and doing well . Hope that you are back to fullstrength - a month is ages to be ill like that. but off-topic sorry everyone . Celia

Revisting a slightly old topic. I think you are right Kevin about the 'date' definition. One of my housemates has just decided tonight that she is going to try something with a friend of hers, but she was struggling with working out what they would be/doing as she doesnt want to say 'we are in a relationship' yet. but to her a 'date' was coffee or whatever and she has done that countless times and more with this guy, in her head she because she knew him very well it meant that she was somehow skipping the bit between initial attraction and serious relationship which she's not worked out if she totally wants/could work (it was him that started the idea). I tried to say what you did but not as well it turns out . Myself, I didnt think dating friends would work, or I just felt so comfortable with my good friends as friends I just didnt imagine it as a possibility at all. but recently there is a good friend that I'm starting to like that way. Its suddenly crept up on me. but since its a girl and I'm not sure if even if it was possible that it would be something that could work (and I certainly don't want to lose her as a very good friend), its ruled out completely at the moment. So I guess I'm learning what my positions are on all these types of questions at the moment . Celia

Thanks . My gran told me she really wanted to run a foster/adoption sort of home in the country. Its a shame she didnt actually do that, she revealed that to me a year ago, made me think about it alot. She had 4 kids (inc my mum), but they had foster children staying with them all the time, I think my mum is still in contact with some of them. They were usually the more 'trouble' ones, but basically been neglected/ misunderstood. She was a nurse and headteacher at some special school, sigh, I can't remember the details, I'm going to ask her next time I see her this weekend, she's got pnemonia (but recovering) plus this topic reminds me time and family is precious. but some of that school/some project was about giving those type of kids a chance and believing in them, well that was her mission while she was there. but our family (with my mum) has always been like that too. there hasnt really been a period of time when somebody hasnt been staying with us, or depending on us greatly in a family type of sense, which my mum has welcomed and actively encouraged. Its kind of built into me now, I can't imagine a household thats not like that, thats not an open place for everyone, its how I kind of operate. the sad part is that people have taken advantage sometimes, for my mum's health its about knowing where's the line sometimes. but in essence thats what my family/home will be about no matter how many genetic children I may or may not have. Celia

In the UK, 'homosexual' isnt really used anymore. Its only really used I think in stuffy formal references and by older people. I can see how there could be a difference in definition. But gay to me sounds/seems nicer. So I think while 'gay' can refer to the culture as you said, it doesnt completely, or even in alot of circumstances at all. I'm sure that for most though, no-matter how used to the idea that a gay person can be any type of person, they may still link (subconciously) some associations with the word that aren't true or real in every sense. It depends on who is using the word and what context as to what the wor 'gay' signifies, culture or general sexual orientation. Some of the old people who don't use the word gay (well, some are homophobic) because they say they don't like how a word they grew up with has been hijacked to mean something else . I definitley don't think you can experience lesbianism, in the sense that its from women. But this is about identity, or at least what I think you are referring to. So if you feel you identify with them and all that is associated then of course you can be identified as part of their group, under their label, but not actually in the physical sense. Celia

I'm one of 3. I think when I have kids (somewhere off in the future...) I will have at least 3. Its great being part of a bigger family, its more sociable and fun for the children, or at least thats whats happened for me. and when I compare it to only childs I know and even 2 sibling families I feel that even more. My mum wanted 4 but couldnt as she had been one of 4 and loved it too. Will be more work for me though , but by then I'm hoping I love all aspects of it. Deep down I would like a genetic child, but I also know its not necessary for love, but for some reason I just do. I hadnt even thought of having kids outside of a relationship (initially at least), but if time goes by and I'm not in a serious relationship then I may consider having a child by myself (financial support permitting) by adoption maybe. My first priority then is finding someone to have children with Goodluck Gary with the adoption process. Celia

hia, yeah goodluck with everything. I don't really know what to say, there isnt really. Apart from encouragement and support, they are invaluable. My encouragement is that my mum is working through what sounds very simular to what you described. and tbh I didnt think she would make it. to even me it seemed like a totally hopeless situation because all I was doing seemed to be failing and everything was going wrong, but I wasnt stopping at trying everything to help her. and she is pulling through, what seemed impossible is transforming. she's not back to being herself (sans depression) completely, but she's making incredible progress. however I can't say it was/is easy either. you are not alone with this feeling, or alone without support/friends (as shown by those on here). proffessional support is the thing that has allowed her to feel better, so I hope that you manage to find what you need to support you, health is the most important thing above all. (sorry, I just thought I'd add a comment, I know I don't really know you) Goodluck, Celia

Like someone else said about Canada, we generally just say 'where's the toilet?' it depends on where you come from if you prefer using the word loo (I sometimes do, but thats from my gran). or we just say 'ladies'. or 'mens'. restroom just sounds odd for what it is. but a 'bathroom' we do have, just they are in your houses and generally have a bath (or showerr) in them too . W.C is how they may be marked on maps. and bog is more a school term. I've never heard of the 'lounge' being called the 'restroom', but I call them 'sitting rooms' which is again one of the more obvious names Celia

I'm not really sure whether we are talking about the same things or not. I think what we call jam is your preserve. some would use that name here as well. not sure what your jam is then. jelly i think we are talking about the same stuff. Gelatin. well. actually maybe we aren't talking about the same jelly. Gelatin does from that description sound like our jelly, and gelatin is an ingredient from animals in our jelly (why my veggie housemate won't eat the stuff - or alot of other sweets). so maybe your jelly and jam are just different varieties/recipes for preserve, but more artifical (the people who use the name presere here wouldnt use it for all the jars labelled jams, just the ones obviously with lots of fruit and preferably homemade). and its preserve because by adding lots and lots of sugar thats how they would 'keep' (preserve) fruit to stop it from going off (if you didnt know ). I bet I'll only truely know if I ever visit the states someday, Celia Celia

Glad you had a good time!! I off to eastern europe in likely 3 weeks time, woo. I can't afford western europe so the east it is. Hopefully will be there for up to a month depending on funds (and interviews like yourself - sadly the real world is beckoning). Anybody any tips on places to visit, things to do? Celia

Thats an easy one. here we call them a shopping trolley. or just trolley. (haha, saying that outloud now it sounds very strange, but its not). a buggy, some people call prams buggies (--im doubting now whether we call anything the same, or whether I'm being silly), --but the things babies/todlers are pushed around in. and the back of car where you store your stuf - we call it the boot, do you call it the trunk? This is getting amusing Celia

I think you are refering to what in the Uk is just called 'jelly', no brand name there I don't think. Also I heard that you call 'jam', jelly, the stuff you put on toast to be clear. In the Uk they are just called plaster's. You're right, I keep on thinking of more and more . kevin: its not thaaat funny . we do have some ridiculous names here though when I stop and think about them . btw, what do you call them? Celia

Also thought. I think our ways of studying for medicine and law are different too, from the little I think I understand of your system. Medicine is generally 5 years long at uni. Depending on what type of med school you go to the time that you start meeting patients/learning personal skills etc varies greatly, fomr the 1st year say at Liverpool, to the traditional courses at Cambridge where its at least yr3/4. Then after that you do spend another 2 years on rotation, I've forgotten the official name, where you experince life in various doctor roles and settings. After that I get confused but I think they you specialise and are a proper proper doctor not just a trainee. But its medschool straight away, there is no pre-med. law, you can read law as an undergrad, then you have to take the proffesional exams/train with a law/barrister firm. OR as is becoming more popular, any undergrad degree, then a one year conversion course, then onto proffesional exams etc. and another random piece of trivia. our 1st year of primary school (elementary) is called 'reception'. Celia

Hia, yeah you make good points. I hadnt meant to imply that there were necessarily fixed categories, and yeah I had assumed what I meant was based on money and opportunity, but also I think the 'class' in the uk if people are talking about it they are also talking about the character of the people and where they live. You will get millionaires saying they are 'working class' because they cherish the people qualities they attribute to it. But that is a different way of talking about class. And what about the House of Lords? I thought they had power. I know the PM can over-rule them if he deems it absolutley necessary, but they still have to approve laws and the such don't they? or am I completely confused about how the country works? My understanding was it was the older gentry (older land-based titles) and specific memebers of the CofE who were members. Celia

oh and one of my housemates refers to the remote (control) for the TV as 'the box'. I have never ever come across that before and she always confuses me when she asks me to pass the box. though I think it is an older name in some regions maybe just nowhere near where I come from . I also hear you say the time weirdly too . Something about the halfpast clock maybe, just my friend was telling us of how people were getting confused when she said the time because you say it backwards or somthing (though she said you mainly said it digitally which is why I've never noticed before). Correct me if I'm wrong.

Yep I'd fondly agree! Also, at oxbridge, all bachelors are 'arts' (BA), not 'science' (BSc) even if they do science. And aren't we both up late . Celia

If you combine the english, scottish and irish flags you get the union jack. The welsh are alittle bit left out with their dragon. My gran refers to soda as 'pop'. chap stick is another name for lipbalm over here too. I think it may be a brand-name or just the general name (use when your lips get chapped from the cold). we also call it lipsalve - thats what I refer to it as. xerox. I think what you mean is photocopy. by a machine called a photocopier. no idea whether thats a general name or it originated from a brand. of course there's also the 'mobile phone' or mobiles as usually called versus your cellphone. and holiday versus vacation. Interesting topic, Celia

I think you've pretty much got it. we are a ridiculously class-based society, even today. I think they are planning to have an overhaul of the A level system, I don't really follow the news stories on it anymore now that I'm out of it. I heard a rumour that they are going to try and up the legal requirement that you stay in school until 18. But they will re-arrange the way qualifications are awarded and whats taught where, and the general format of the alevel to something more appropriate-- no idea what - I think they are begining to train the teachers for this new system (I think, I could be horribly wrong). and I also heard they are going to overhaul the applying to uni/results thing, but all this could take years, I have no idea what stage it is at in government. but overall I think we are more exam/qualification focused even in primary school than we ever were. to even get a basic job you generally are required to have 5 GSCE's a-c, but I think it some places the pass rate is really really low (and those GSCE's are fairly easy, at least were for me), generally indicating they can't even really read/write/add-up in some parts of the country, like areas of liverpool which are very deprived (even though now those schools generally get more money than the good highschools it still the same). It is easier to get Alevels nowadays, more people are doing them because Uni has been pushed as something that you need to do, but often people go to poor uni's and never need/use their degree after - but I wouldnt trade the uni experience. I think they are very hard to do well in though, most underestimate them and drop out (or at my school they did). In the last few years there has been a hooha about positive discrimination from the good uni's for comp/highschool students rather than public/private. Places like Oxbridge, particulary Cambridge I think were turning down people from private for comp students to fill more equal quotas. Recognising it may be more difficult to do well. but of course the private parents werent happy. at my uni though there is a way disproportionate number of private - i think its about 60% private (and you can tell by the accents - we call them 'rhas') but I think private school was/is more popular with higher middleclass so that adds to it and you wouldnt be able to tell by looking at them unlike the rha's (posh 'british' type). No idea why its like this. It is known for being the oxbridge reject place, so maybe its those type of people that apply here generally over others who would prefer the newer up and coming big names. It is a strange dynamic though. I've learnt quite abit reading all the stories here and elsewhere about the american system, could tell it was quite different. Celia

To explain about the 6th form college name. When my parents were at school the numbering of the years was different. age 16 was still the general age that people left school for jobs and the select few would continue onto the higher 'A' levels. You would go to primary school. Then Highschool (in my area we my school was ___(name of town)__Highschool. but we generally did refer to it as school) Nowadays the first year at highschool is refered to normally as year7(age11) but in those days it was just 1st year. by the time you got to 16 (last standard year and year of now GSCE's (or then 'O' levels) you were in 5thyear (or as in the old schools your year/class/tutorial was refered to as 'form' - have you read Enid Blyton?), so then next two years were special, few people (statistically) carried on with academic education, and it was called '6th form'. it takes 2 years to get 'A' levels usually and so it was split into lower 6th and upper 6th. the colleges developed as someone else said because not all schools provided for 'A' levels and people would have to move to another that did, or one that was better staffed/equipped/reputation. I carried on at my highschool, but alot of my friends moved to the bigger 6thform college because they wanted to get away from all the kids and be around more people. About the 'colleges' as in Oxbridge. I am at Durham University. It is also a 'collegiate university'. Mine is slightly different to Oxbridge but its the same original concept. Its simply how they split up the students and house them etc. In my uni, there are 15 colleges and you either pick one or you are assigned one. It becomes your home for the 3 years, pastoral care is centred there, you are in accomodation with people from the same college, you eat together, and they also have social functions, sports, societies, a bar, within the college, some staff based, most organised and funded by students. There is a big college rivalry within durham, especially in first year and its all about college spirit, its a great thing to be apart of. How it differs from Oxbridge though, is that they don't just compartmentalise their students/staff like that (and everyone must belong to one almost), in Durham your eductation is with your department not college. Most people have to pick a focussed degree while they are doing 'A' levels (apart from special circumstances you generally need 3 A levels to get into uni) and you stick with that department, say geography, sociology, physics throughout. I think for Oxbridge your education is also organised through your college, you have specific say chemistry tutors within the college, so the meaning of the college is bigger. and of course if you decide to go to oxbridge certain colleges have bigger/smaller, have more money, better reputation, only girls etc (at least thats in Cambridge) so picking the right one is important. In Durham its less important its more about comadre and your admin needs/pastoral care. Not many uni's in england are collegate as far as I'm aware, I know of one other - lancaster uni, and the colleges there really are more about where you live. Allthough to get a degree you must go to a uni, there are leaguetables of the uni's and some have better reputations than others. There were somethings called Polytechnic colleges which have been now all given the name of uni's, and they were the less academic, or places where the degree's were generally valued less. In opposition you get the'redbrick' uni's which are known as the older, kind of thought of as 'better'. The boundaries are very blurred now as uni's rise and fall. Also just to confuse you all, depending on the parts in the country you are from, some places have middleschools too. The bit about Grammer schools is also an old legacy of times gone by (but again in some parts of the country there are still some left- I really don't understand why we don't just have one system everywhere). When you left Primary school (ages 4-10) you took an exam called the '11+'. If you passed it you were eligible to go to the Grammer school. If you failed you went to the Comprehensive school. The Grammer school, I think, were better funded and had more prestige, you had alot more chance of suceeding in life and going onto professional jobs and 'A' levels. Whereas I presume most at the Comps left at 16, did vocational course at 'colleges' (thats the non-uni and non-6thform type) that provided that, or aprenticeships or got jobs/army etc. I refer to my school as highschool, I don't get the comp system which operates someplaces nowadays (differently to above). Other than that there are private schools (confusingly also refered to as 'public schools') from the very prestigous like Eton etc where the princes etc go to school and are boarding (live there), to the several that are in my local area that people commute to but are thought to be better - or you have a better chance of getting into a good uni. I think it just depends how hard you work, but I can see the difference in the support and grades that come out of private schools versus being left to usually fend for yourself and push for the best as I needed to do at my school. We don't have a 'graduating' ceremony as such when we leave school, but at 16 there was an assembly/ceremony in the gym where the whole school was there, presentations etc, music etc, and they dismiss the class of that year. Everyone would leave school at lunch and we were warned heavily by the school to behave because everyyear the badass scousers (liverpudlians) would do some big prank or something, everyone in my town descended on the beach for a party/drinking. we did have a 'prom' but it was quite pathetic (and it is an imported idea from the US), at the end of 6thform we all went for a meal in liverpool and drank in the afternoon in the open air bars together (it was a smallish yeargroup - most left after 16). Oh yeah remembered, Graeme. In the UK, in may be changing soon though, we take our 'A' level exams in the summer (mostly) - my brother is doing his now. You apply at the begining-to middle of you upper 6th year to 6 universitys, and have to wait (up until april sometimes) to find if they have accepted you on you predicted/last year grades, you then pick 2 (your fav, and a backup). You get your results in August - about the 16th or so, if get grades you are in. some uni's then start at the begining of september so you have about 2 weeks to get ready and go. Mine started in Oct so I had a month but thats rare. So yeah the pressure is immense. If you don't get the grades you go into 'clearing' for all the places that havent been filled and its a mad scramble, but its generally the lesser known/poor courses/uni's that are left. In 6th form we could all wear the clothes that we wanted (generally). it was only the private schools that insited they carried on in uniform. and we had a 'commonroom' which was our hangout from the rest of the school, it varied between schools as to how furnished they were, some have sofas, games etc, we just had tables, vending machines and music. but the rest of the school were forced outside during 'break' with no where to 'hangout' unless you're eating (but of course we had 'free' lessons unlike the lower years). Oh and of course Scotland is different all over again. Will have to leave that to a Scot to explain, but they go to uni at 17. Well, hope thats helpful (if not info overload). Am sure I may have got some details wrong about the contemporary Comprehensive's, so other brits feel free to correct me. Celia

haha, well, our guy is pretty outrageous at times, he talks over them (well certainly the hosts) most of the time, he just kinda says exactly what you are thinking often just as your laughing at the screen yourself. One of my friends is from Sweden, I don't think she got he was doing it on purpose, haha I think she was abit mortified. I asked somebody about the entry rules, and apparently the SONG has to have been written by amaeturs. The performers themselves can be good and national stars, but the song has to have been written by somebody who isnt known, or had proffessional practice. STILL that doesnt explain why somebody doesnt dredge up the best of amaeter stuff because we have many many artists/writers who are trying to make it who are pretty good. and do you know strangely, the adults I have been speaking to seem to think our act this year wasnt that bad! Celia