MrM

A special Halloween entry…now things start getting interesting! Dr. V https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/the-seducer/28

§ § Wednesday, October 31, 1989 After what I witnessed tonight, my life (such as it was) is over. My world…my universe has been changed right before my eyes! Since the revelation last Thursday that my parents are gone I’ve lived in a twilight reality. A place between reality and unreality. I have felt outside of myself looking in. I’ve only allowed myself to cry once. Mostly, my tears are frozen inside of me like ice shards raking at the inside of my chest. But…even that ‘

Happy Halloween!

Oh, that sounds CLASSIC! I need to scrounge around and find that one! I love the concept!

Something for Halloweird:

We got Stevie, AJ, and Greg in this batch. We also have Brandon Frustrated… Entry 31: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/brandon-smiling-from-the-billy-chase-chronicles-2/31 Entry 32: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/brandon-smiling-from-the-billy-chase-chronicles-2/32 Entry 33: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/brandon-smiling-from-the-billy-chase-chronicles-2/33

I hope you feel better soon, Comsie.

Sunday Well, my adventures with Stevie yesterday aside, my Saturday ended on a sour note, unfortunately. I’ve been in my room most of the evening today sulking. I swear it’s more karma coming back to bite me in the ass from playing jealousy games with Billy a few weeks ago. He’s getting some of his own back, I guess. So, I get this most random call out of nowhere from, of all people, Bobby Jinette! Why he’d call me out of the blue should be a mystery, but, unfortunately, it

Saturday I needed a break from everything Billy related today… I’ve been so tied up in knots about it for so long I guess it’s starting to show. My Dad thought I might be stressing about school or about Marie leaving so he relieved me of my usual Saturday duties like mowing the lawn and weeding the back garden. I couldn’t tell him what was really eating me. I couldn’t tell him about Billy and how he’s driving me completely crazy with his game of keep-away with his heart. It w

Thursday Honestly, I’m getting to where I hate hearing the name Jamie Cross! I got double-tapped today with Jamieness. It’s like he’s suddenly become this magical curse or something. I hate feeling this way because, in all reality, this has very little to do with him and yet…it has everything to do with him! Yeah, I know. I’m not making sense again. Billy has managed to take a cake mixer to my heart and brain once again! He’s so good at it, I have to wonder if he does it on

William Harker’s latest entries: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/the-seducer/22 https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/the-seducer/23 https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/the-seducer/24 https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/the-seducer/25 https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/the-seducer/26 https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/the-seducer/27

§ § Thursday, October 25, 1989 At this moment…I’m completely and utterly devastated. My Mom and Dad…they’re dead! I’m an orphan now. How do I go on? Why would I want to? My whole family is suddenly snuffed out by a drunk driver driving on the wrong side of the freeway! I don’t know why I’m even bothering to write this here. I don’t particularly want to remember this day because this is the day my life, at least as I knew it, came to an end. I didn’t go to any

One more cued up for tomorrow! 😉

§ § Friday, October 19, 1989 Well, about a week’s past. It was pretty much a routine week. I’ve been alone a lot. Dr. V had to go to a conference so he’s not been around and his classes were cancelled this week. I’m still staying at his place and he’s encouraged me to move my stuff out here and close my dorm account. I think that might be best. I really don’t want to go back there. I’ve not had any more weird dreams about wolves or whatever. Thank God for that! It’s stupid to think t

§ § Sunday, October 14, 1989 I was running! Faster than I’d ever ran before! It was like I was running on top of clouds, but I was not running with any sense of joy. I was running in abject fear! Panic and an instinct for flight rather than fight had taken over me. I was being chased! Hunted! Soon, I would be in terrible pain and then, finally, dead! Dead at the jaws of the pack of wolves mere yards away from my back! They were close…and closing! Hunger drove them. Hunger f

I love these videos!

LOL @Shadow086, I even found some ‘Action’ music for the fight in the IceZone. I put it with my GFD soundtrack I made for Comsie a few years ago. Hehehe!

Oh, I think you do a great job with your action sequences! I can ‘see’ how Justin is moving and how incredibly agile and fast his fights are. Don’t sell yourself short, Comsie! ♥️

The next batch of Brandons are ready… Entry 28: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/brandon-smiling-from-the-billy-chase-chronicles-2/28 Entry 29: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/brandon-smiling-from-the-billy-chase-chronicles-2/29 Entry 30: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/brandon-smiling-from-the-billy-chase-chronicles-2/30

Tuesday So, of course I can’t get Billy off my mind. Especially our being together in bed Saturday. We were just touching feet, but I keep replaying that over and over again in my mind! His socked feet, my socked feet…touching. I remember his blush and his smile as we were doing it and I wish, oh how I wish, that I’d just taken the courage to kiss him! I should have…especially when he said the ‘I love you’ part. It would have been a silent way of telling him that I felt the same way. His Mo

Sunday Even though my mind is still in a wheel over what happened over at Billy’s yesterday, I was very surprised by an email I got from Chandler last night. We’d completely forgotten about the debut of his musical play he is doing in Lakeview! He didn’t sound mad about it, but he did seem disappointed. I am so sorry I completely forgot that! I so wanted to see him perform as Willy Wonka, but there’s been so many distractions lately! Between Billy and school, I’m surprised I remember

Saturday Billy and I played ‘footsie’ today… Hehehehe! So, I went over to his place today just like I promised. His Mom seemed cool with my coming over. She even stayed behind from whatever errands she was going to do just to meet me for some reason. I can see where Billy gets his looks! Mrs. Chase is a stunningly beautiful woman! For reals! I guess the ‘straight’ term for her would be MILF and, if I had any normal feelings for women like I should, she would have turned me on! For

…and I love the story so much I made another soundtrack for it!

Soundtrack Track List Fine On The Outside (Priscilla Ahn) - Drew’s Theme On My Mind (CD Ghost) - The Longing Of Hidden Hearts Nowhere (CD Ghost) - Lost Between In And Out If Only (CD Ghost) - If Only We Could Be Ourselves When Will I Belong? (Geographer, Savoir Adore) - Drew’s Lament Voices Carry (Emmett Kai’s Cover of ‘Til Tuesday) - Drew Struggles With Ethan’s Fears What About Love (‘Til Tuesday) - Balancing Fear And Love Within You, Within Me (Meltt) - Ethan Realizing Who Drew Is To Him I Knew (Millionyoung) - Loving Drew From First Sight Only In Your Eyes (Meltt) - Falling Into Each Other’s Eyes Space Between Us (VHS Collection) - Lunches At The Park Blue Lagoon (Bryan El) - First Times Policy Of Truth (Depeche Mode) - Ethan Gets A Taste Of Drew’s World True Lies (Brett) - Ethan’s Struggles Be True (Brothertiger) - Ethan Accepts His Truth Come Undone (Duran Duran) - The Heights Of Love Making Roses (CD Ghost Cover Of Mareux) - Drew’s Fears And Ethan’s Broken Heart Talk To Me (Nouvelle Phénomème) - Ethan Pursuing Drew Oh, Lover (Röyksopp) - Drew Succumbs Is Your Love Strong Enough (Bryan Ferry) - Love Conquers Fear Lyrics Fine On The Outside (Priscilla Ahn) - Drew’s Theme I never had that many friends growing up So I learned to be okay with just me Just me, just me, just me And I'll be fine on the outside I like to eat in school by myself anyway So I'll just stay right here Right here, right here, right here And I'll be fine on the outside So I just sit in my room After hours with the moon And think of who knows my name Would you cry if I died? Would you remember my face? So I left home I packed up and I moved far away From my past one day And I laughed I laughed, I laughed, I laughed I sound fine on the outside Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha... Sometimes I feel lost, sometimes I'm confused Sometimes I find that I'm not alright And I cry, and I cry, and I cry Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha... So I just sit in my room After hours with the moon And think of who knows my name Would you cry if I died? Would you remember my face? On My Mind (CD Ghost) - The Longing Of Hidden Hearts Lately you’ve been on my mind Think about you all the time Nights without you pass so slow Counting days til we’re alone Feel you walking by my side But it’s just inside my mind See you everywhere I go But I know it’s your shadow Falling backwards in a dream The way that you look at me You’ll always be everything You and me through anything Close your eyes and hold my hand Waiting for the day I can Hold you in my arms again Love you til my life ends and again Lately you’ve been on my mind Always dream about your eyes Only see you on my phone Kiss the screen ‘til I come home Feel you walking by my side But it’s just inside my mind See you everywhere I go But I know it’s your shadow Falling backwards in a dream The way that you look at me You’ll always be everything You and me through anything Close your eyes and hold my hand Waiting for the day I can Hold you in my arms again Love you til my life ends and again Nowhere (CD Ghost) - Lost Between In And Out I’m in between living in my dreams Can’t recall when last I saw past the trees The lights fade low as time it passes slow There’s no place left to go The nights are still Can’t tell what’s real In between two worlds, I’m lost in nowhere And no one knows What tomorrow holds Still seems to lead nowhere I’m in between escaping into Fantasies, my memory melts away The cold surrounds moving without a sound It closes all around The nights are still Can’t tell what’s real In between two worlds, I’m lost in nowhere And no one knows What tomorrow holds Still seems to lead nowhere Oh and whеn those walls come crashing down in ashes will I finally bе found And again I hear the voice call out, a choice laid out but can’t decide Oh and when those walls come crashing down in ashes will I finally be found When the past is future the overture rings out “as above, so below” The nights are still Can’t tell what’s real In between two worlds, I’m lost in nowhere And no one knows What tomorrow holds But will it lead nowhere If Only (CD Ghost) - If Only We Could Be Ourselves Out with the light, your shadow’s Falling tonight beneath the moonglow, then the thought grows Back of my mind, the swell of Blood in my eyes beneath the hallows, down where we go I’d let it go oh if only But it haunts me Killing me slow and softly I’d let it go oh if only But it haunts me Follows me like a shadow Do I need this disease, I don’t know, fear it’s my home Taken so many from me What do you see through a glass darkly, just a memory I’d let it go oh if only But it haunts me Killing me slow and softly I’d let it go oh if only But it haunts me When Will I Belong? (Geographer, Savoir Adore) - Drew’s Lament [Verse 1] All this fire I burn It takes me inside and it shows me what it learned If I feel your love Will you be my light above? Oh, anything else will do Than being misunderstood 'Cause I believe I could Feel as free as the winter truth Won't you take me as I am? Underneath my heart is a simple man If I could feel your love Then I could reason with the shadows in my thoughts Well, I feel sometimes like a little child Lost in the words from the fading light Is there no one who can help me find My own way to the other side? [Bridge] No one believes me now that I found a way Oh, nothing gets done unless you do it yourself these days [Chorus] 'Cause I've been walking my life to the beat of a drum They gave me when I was far too young I'm trying to be a lucky one It was all I could do just to play along Now you tell me that the paths are wrong Oh, maybe I shouldn't try so hard When will I belong? When will I belong? [Verse 2] In spite of all I know I keep trying to make the diamonds all around me glow When I feel alive I can light up the whole sky If I could feel your love Then I could reason with the clouds up above [Bridge] No one believes me now that I found a way Oh, nothing gets done unless you do it yourself these days [Chorus] 'Cause I've been walking my life to the beat of a drum They gave me when I was far too young I'm trying to be a lucky one It was all I could do just to play along Now you tell me that the paths are wrong Oh, maybe I shouldn't try so hard When will I belong? (X) Voices Carry (Emmett Kai’s Cover of ‘Til Tuesday) - Drew Struggles With Ethan’s Fears In the dark, I'd like to read his mind But I'm frightened of the things I might find Oh, there must be something he's thinking of To tear him away-a-ay When I tell him that I'm falling in love Why does he say-a-ay Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry Ah-ah I try so hard not to get upset Because I know all the trouble I'll get Oh, he tells me tears are something to hide And something to fear-eh-eh And I try so hard to keep it inside So no one can hear Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry Hush hush, keep it down now, voices carry Ah-ah Oh! He wants me, but only part of the time He wants me, if he can keep me in line Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry Hush, hush, keep it down now, voices carry Oh, oh, oh, hush hush, shut up now, voices carry Oh, oh, oh, hush hush, keep it down now, voices carry Oh, oh, oh, hush hush, darling, she might overhear Hush, hush, oh, oh, voices carry Hush, hush, he said shut up He said shut up Oh God, can't you keep it down? Voices carry Hush, hush, oh, oh voices carry I wish he would let me talk What About Love (‘Til Tuesday) - Balancing Fear And Love [Verse 1] Living on silence Living by the book You get it to a science Of living on one good look So put out all the fires And blow away the smoke I'm getting pretty tired Of living on hope [Chorus] So what about love, baby? What about making room for two? What about love, baby? What about you? [Verse 2] Living on daydreams Walking in my sleep And nothing is as it seems When you're in so deep So put out all the fires And blow away the smoke Unless you're getting tired Of living on hope Chorus] So what about love, baby? What about making room for two? What about love, baby? What about you? [Guitar Solo] [Chorus] What about love, baby? What about making room for two? What about love, baby? What about you? What about love, baby? What about making room for two? What about love, baby? What about you? [Outro] What about you? Oh, what about you? What about me? Within You, Within Me (Meltt) - Ethan Realizing Who Drew Is To Him [Verse 1] If you think you know yourself Well you don't, you don't You're too afraid to lose control To let go and just float [Chorus] All of these dreams (Of these dreams) Within you (Within you) Within me (Within me) Somehow (Somehow) I feel (I feel) part of you (Part of you) Is part of me (Is part of me) [Verse 2] If you try to find yourself On your own, well, you won't But if you learn to love yourself When you're low, well, maybe there's hope [Chorus] All of these dreams (Of these dreams) Within you (Within you) Within me (Within me) Somehow (Somehow) I feel (I feel) part of you (Part of you) Is part of me (Is part of me) [Bridge] Deep underwater Your emotions call to you "Go where the wind blows All of this time spent hesitating" Down by the water Across the ocean, I should go Go where the tides pull All of our lives to rearrange them [Pre-Chorus] With you, I feel I find myself I let go and we float [Chorus] All of these dreams (Of these dreams) Within you (Within you) Within me (Within me) Somehow (Somehow) I feel (I feel) part of you (Part of you) Is part of me (Is part of me) I Knew (Millionyoung) - Loving Drew From First Sight [Verse 1] Do you know how I feel About you? There's a dream I had That came true [Pre-Chorus] When we first spoke A light inside awoke When we first spoke I knew [Chorus] I long to belong to you I long to belong to you [Verse 2] Is it true what they say About love? It comes down like a bolt From above [Pre-Chorus] Like when we first spoke A light inside awoke When we first spoke I knew [Chorus] I long to belong to you I long to belong to you Only In Your Eyes (Meltt) - Falling Into Each Other’s Eyes [Verse 1] Floating down This river of time In currents that we're bound I've come to find That only in your eyes Sunlight The current's strong Our presence won't last for long [Chorus] For now, somehow Moments move right through you Your light, the night could not hope to hide you Only in your eyes Only in your eyes, for now [Verse 2] Driftin' out To the ocean's embrace Well did I make it count? The moments we chased But only in your eyes Horizon's alight The sun goes low As I cling to the fading glow [Chorus] For now, somehow Moments move right through you Your light, thе night could not hope to hide you Only in your eyеs Sun begins to rise, for now For now [Outro] Sun Space Between Us (VHS Collection) - Lunches At The Park [Verse 1] I know my fate, I live for the changes Too many sins and occasional strangers Why do I keep things around? Why hold myself down? I try to keep my head up, but you're all I can think of right now [Chorus] I want to feel no space between us I want to move inside your heart I've been searching for this place for too long, too long I want to feel no space between us [Verse 2] Pull you my way, we run from the danger Eyes won't betray, release me from anger Why do I keep things around? Why hold myself down? I try to keep my head up, but you're all I can think of right now [Chorus] I want to feel no space between us I want to move inside your heart I've been searching for this place for too long, too long I want to feel no space between us [Bridge] Over and over Over and over Over and over Over and over [Outro] I've been searching for this place for too long, too long I want to feel no space between us Blue Lagoon (Bryan El) - First Times (Romantic Instrumental) Policy Of Truth (Depeche Mode) - Ethan Gets A Taste Of Drew’s World You had something to hide Should have hidden it, shouldn't you? Now you're not satisfied With what you're being put through It's just time to pay the price For not listening to advice And deciding in your youth On the policy of truth Things could be so different now It used to be so civilized You will always wonder how It could have been if you'd only lied It's too late to change events It's time to face the consequence For delivering the proof In the policy of truth Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before Now you're standing there tongue tied You better learn your lesson well Hide what you have to hide And tell what you have to tell You'll see your problems multiplied If you continually decide To faithfully pursue The policy of truth Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before Never again Is what you swore The time before True Lies (Brett) - Ethan’s Struggles Devotion is a thing of the past Everybody wants a piece of you Nothing’s ever born to last I’ll never sell you out I’ll never sell you out No one can know you’re here No one can know you’re here tonight They’re going to interfere’ Like I give a f*k what your friends think Everyone can tell… Everyone can tell… Everyone can tell you lies (x2) But Mine Are True! (x5) You’re the one with blood on your hands You’re the one that wants to be someone Didn’t have a ghost of a chance I’ll never give you up I’ll never give you up I know when you’re awake I know when you’re awake at night I know just what to say Like I give a f*k what your friends think Everyone can tell… Everyone can tell… Everyone can tell you lies (x2) But Mine Are True! (x) Be True (Brothertiger) - Ethan Accepts His Truth Always be true Ring true like a bell Resonate through you Elevate myself Always be true Ring true like a bell Resonate through you Elevate myself I’m like an island Swimmin’ in the swell of the silence Never thought I’d ever feel like this (Never thought I’d ever feel like this) I can feel the sun at its highest See it hanging on the horizon Opening ‘cross the sea like an iris Never thought I’d ever feel like this I finally built the walls around me Completely up surrounding Finally built the walls around me Completely up Always be true Ring true like a bell Resonate through you Elevate myself Always be true Ring true like a bell Resonate through you Elevate myself I’m like a pilot Steering through a sea of asylum Reckoning to decide what I am Maybe I am part of the problem I can feel the dawn, recognize it Feel it ever on the horizon Forward into the mouth of the siren Never thought I’d ever feel like this I finally built the walls around me Completely up surrounding Finally built the walls around me Completely up (Outro) Always be true Ring true like a bell Resonate through you Elevate myself Come Undone (Duran Duran) - The Heights Of Love Making Mine, immaculate dream made breath and skin I've been waiting for you Signed with a home tattoo "Happy birthday to you" was created for you (Can't ever keep from falling apart at the seams) (Can I believe you're taking my heart to pieces?) Ah, it'll take a little time Might take a little crime to come undone Now we'll try to stay blind to the hope and fear outside Hey child, stay wilder than the wind and blow me in to cry Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone Words, playing me deja vu Like a radio tune, I swear I've heard before Chill, is it something real? Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers (Can't ever keep from falling apart at the seams) (Can I believe you're taking my heart to pieces?) Lost, in a snow filled sky We'll make it alright to come undone Now we'll try to stay blind to the hope and fear outside Hey child, stay wilder than the wind and blow me in to cry Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone (Can't ever keep from falling apart) Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone (Can't ever keep from falling apart) Who do you need? Who do you love? (Can't ever keep from falling apart) Who do you love? When you come undone (Can't ever keep from falling apart) Roses (CD Ghost Cover Of Mareux) - Drew’s Fears And Ethan’s Broken Heart [Verse 1] Each time I look at you, I need someone to wake me up Your dark eyes move me closer to a mania Been dreaming of someone like you for all of my life I thought I had you forever but you told me "Not so fast, it's not that time" [Chorus] I'm walking down your street with tears in my eyes When we're together, I think I'm in the afterlife The smell of roses under our noses You give me pride, you give me love, you give devotion [Verse 2] Each time we talk about us, you don't know what you want I just want to be wantеd, I'm not asking too much It's not right to be left in the dark It's not right to be told to wait Tell me how does it feel When you push me away Push me away [Chorus] I'm walking down your street with tears in my eyes When we're together, I think I'm in the afterlife The smell of roses under our noses You give me pride, you give me love, you give devotion Talk To Me (Nouvelle Phénomème) - Ethan Pursuing Drew You never told me, walk away I saw you there with tears in your eyes I′ve never thought you would run away Do you remember when, everything was all for your love? Another morning, talk to me Another day so dark in my heart Another evening talk to me Today the night is cold and the world is falling apart You give me the love that I need Today is not the end Don't throw our love away! You give me the air that I need Today is not the end Don′t leave me, will you stay? This is a new day, talk to me Just one more time please open your heart This is a new night, walk with me Tonight the Moon is clear and my dream is falling apart You give me the love that I need Today is not the end Don't throw our love away You bring me a sweet melody Tonight I'd hold you tight And never get apart You give me the air that I need Today is not the end Oh, never run away You bring me the joy that I need Tonight is not the end Come back for one more day Je t′entends mais tu m′as fait mal, mon coeur est brisé Tu me manques mais c'est trop dur, je t′aime Mais c'est trop compliqué, la vie est une fleur Ton amour est le soleil qui illumine mes jours Ton absence me tue, je voudrais être avec toi Prends moi dans tes bras mon chéri Oh, Lover (Röyksopp) - Drew Succumbs [Verse 1] I'm tryin' to go forward I'm tryin' to forget Our time inside the bubble The hours that we spent [Chorus] But, lover You made me feel like no other Touchin' me deeper than others Makin' me feel I was wanted [Verse 2] Like elongated shadows The days will never end I'm looking at your number I wonder, should I dare? [Chorus] Oh, my lover You made me feel like no other Touchin' me deeper than others Makin' me feel I was wanted [Post-Chorus] Ooh Ooh [Verse 3] I'm lookin' at your number I wonder, should I dare? I know I shouldn't bother I know it isn't fair [Chorus] Oh, my lover You made me feel like no other Touchin' me deeper than others Makin' me feel I was wanted [Post-Chorus] Ooh Ooh [Instrumental Break] Ooh [Verse 4] I'm lookin' at your number I wonder, should I dare? I know I shouldn't bother I know it isn't fair Is Your Love Strong Enough (Bryan Ferry) - Love Conquers Fear Just one step at a time, And closer to destiny. I knew at a glance, There would always be a chance for me. With someone I could live for; Nowhere I would rather be. Is your love strong enough, Like a rock in the sea? Am I asking too much? Is your love strong enough? Just one beat of your heart, And stranger than fantasy. I knew from the start, It had to be the place for me. Someone that I would die for; There's no way I could ever leave. Is your love strong enough, Like a rock in the sea? Am I asking too much? Is your love strong enough? Is your love strong enough? Is your love strong enough? Just one beat of your heart. Is your love strong enough? Is your love strong enough? Just one beat...