MrM

{Fade Intro} {Instrumental Refrain) If you look into my eyes You will see something special And that something is someone I want to se-e every single day So . . . Won’t you look up and see me . . . please? { ))) echo ((( } {1st bridge} {Instrumental Refrain} (Look into my eyes! I can see you! Can you see me? Please, won’t you look at me?) Look up into my eyes And see me looking back at you

They got closer to the real one, but no cigar. I always liked this image. This one is for all the ‘True Believers’ that thought Captain Marvel could beat Dark Phoenix in a contest of strength. (Spoiler Alert) Rogue, basically, stole most of Captain Marvel’s powers (her superwoman ones anyways) and yet . . . FIGHT ME!

That’s so cool, Comsiekins! That’s how I started reading. Reading for pleasure opens up reading for learning. Reading = Pleasure || Learning = Pleasure < an almost logarithm! 😮 It was the same with math for me. I hated math, but when I started taking science classes and wanting to know more about the incredible things my teesher was showing us, I studied the math so that I could understand the relationships and techniques so I could repeat the phenomena! What’s lost in ‘modrine ejmacashun’ is the connection of real skills to real knowledge which creates curiosity which leads to more learning and greater fulfillment. Doing things by rote coz “diss’plin’ is one reason why Americans have done so poorly in education in the last 60 years and why Korean and Japanese kids are starting to lose their Shinola cuz the pressure for getting nowhere has gotten too great. People learn things for a purpose, for the most part. Learning for learning’s sake becomes a passion later when that ‘curiosity engine’ gets turned on and can’t be turned off, IMHO. ~~~~ Anywayz, for good clean fun Comicalitywise, I always stick to Avengers, Fantastic Four, and The Silver Surfer when coaching younger kids. X-Men got a bit raw and so did Batman. Superman and Wonder Woman were ‘kids comics’ to me (13 years old LOL). With the vast popularity of the Avengers, I think there could be plenty of material to cover for your nephew to be reading forever, LOL! I started reading novels when I could clear a stack of comics in 2 hours. This would be about 25 in one sitting! I then started to clear normal novels in about a day. That’s when I switched to ‘tomes,’ like The Lord Of The Rings, which was a challenge for my 16 year old self, but left the most indelible imprint on my imagination of any story I’d ever read. Like so many others, Tolkien inspired my writing and influenced my style. Anne Rice was a similar deal, though I didn’t read her stuff until my early twenties. She was amazing because she was the first ‘gay’ author I’d ever read! Her stuff further influenced my coverage of the topic and how it could be made ‘romantic’. Yay for reading! (God, now I sound like an old PSA from 1986!)

This storyline, the Adagio series, goes to some very dark places. Randy’s story is an inversion of Christopher’s. I’ve actually been writing two in tandem this year.This one is the shorter of the two. Possibly darker though the longer one is dealing with a very disturbing subject. These are always an exploration of redemption and love surviving death. Thanks for continuing the journey with me. 😊

My dreamcast for the First Family of the Marvel Universe! Plus my very own authentic ‘movie’ logo! I’d LOVE to see Alex (Justin) Prettyful all decked out in silver and all naked!

There was a darker side to the Adagio story . . . It involved a young man named Ryan McAlester. An innocent destroyed and turned to evil By an ancient archdemon named Dagon. The story of Ryan’s fall is my Halloween story for this year. It is the story of The Umbereth

Weak child. So weak. No strength. A wasted thing. A pointless thing. Good only as food. Food for the Master! My charge cuts into him deep! The child sucks in his breath and gags at the sudden searing pain! The hellacious pain that only a child can feel! His dying in agony is so sweet! I hate him! I hate that he is alive and I am not! Soon he will be here with me in this Death! Sweet boy. Sweet, sweet weak boy. So stupid! So stupid to go into the alley with my charge! What a fucking hapl

Would you dare to enter into the mind of a demon . . . ?

Track List Me (Lullaby Style) - Metallica (Demented Beginnings) Ventura Highway Instrumental - America (Passing Innocence) Candy Man - Church Of Misery (Meeting Mr. Korall) Come To Daddy - Aphex Twin (Making ‘Friends’) Inky Room - Johnny665 (Randy McAlester Dies) Patterns Of Evil - Electric Wizard (Dagon’s Promise) Dagon - Nox Arcana (The Slayer Of The Innocent) Child Of Darkness - Bedemon (The Darkening Of Randy) Came Back Haunted - Nine Inch Nails (Randy’s Fall) Shadow Of Death - Klayton (So Arises The Umbereth) Make Them Die Slowly - Church Of Misery (Familiar To The Beast) Cries In The Night - Nox Arcana (Caine, The Boy Slayer) The Temple of Lost Children - Theodore Bastard (A Decade Of Death) Eyes Without A Face - Dorian Gray Cover of Billy Idol (Through The Eyes Of Evil) Umbra - Moris Blak (Caine’s Experiences With His ‘Guardian Demon’) Matta - Brian Eno (The Wrath Of Shadows And Flame) No Peace (A Light In The Darkness) - Ironsoul (The Umbereth Weakens) I Am Nothing - Electric Wizard (The Priest, The Water, And The Void) The Fading Shadow - Arcana (The Umbereth Is Dispelled) Out Of The Depths - Patrick Hawes (The Salvation Of A Murdered Boy) Into The Light - Brand X Music (Going Home) ———————————— Me (Lullaby Style) - Metallica (Demented Beginnings) Lullaby Of The Darkness Ventura Highway Instrumental - America (Passing Innocence) Instrumental for sunny days, walking down the road Candy Man - Church Of Misery (Meeting Mr. Korall) Beware the Candy Man His treat is not so sweet Come To Daddy - Aphex Twin (Making ‘Friends’) I want your soul I will eat your soul Come To Daddy (x) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH-H Inky Room - Johnny665 (Randy McAlester Dies) Dark Interlude Patterns Of Evil - Electric Wizard (Dagon’s Promise) Rituals of evil In dungeons dressed in black Screaming virgins tortured Dragged to the Devil's altar Whipped tortured Our ritual has begun Witches Sabbath All good will be undone Patterns of evil Whip marks across my flesh Evil witchcraft Disciples of death Narcotic chanting Female screams fill the crypts Naked witches writhing They offer obscene kiss Whipped tortured Our ritual has begun Witches Sabbath All good will be undone Patterns of evil Whip marks across my flesh Evil witchcraft Disciples of death Patterns of evil Casting shadows Patterns of evil Forever in my mind Whipped tortured Our ritual has begun Witches Sabbath All good will be undone Patterns of evil Whip marks across my flesh Evil witchcraft Disciples of death Whipped tortured Our ritual has begun Witches Sabbath All good will be undone Patterns of evil Whip marks across my flesh Evil witchcraft Disciples of death Patterns of evil Casting shadows Patterns of evil Forever in my mind Patterns of evil Casting shadows Patterns of evil Forever in my mind Dagon - Nox Arcana (The Slayer Of The Innocent) Behold mighty Dagon, the great leviathan, risen from the black depths of the eternal sea For he is the avatar of Cthulhu, who lies dreaming in deathless slumber in his ancient temple in R'lyeh Child Of Darkness - Bedemon (The Darkening Of Randy) Come with me now, Child of darkness Come with me into the night Let me show you this land of enchantment Let me be your guiding light This world is dead: It's broken its back But I can show you what's being done It all lies now within your soul, boy Use your mind and it will come My child of darkness has given his gift Of love and lust and burning desire He lies now while the wind blows gently Carrying his charms, set the night on fire Came Back Haunted - Nine Inch Nails (Randy’s Fall) Ha-ha-haunted The throat is deep and the mouth is wide Saw some things on the other side Made me promise to never tell But you know me, I can't help myself Now I've got something you have to see They put something inside of me The smile is red and its eyes are black I don't think I'll be coming back I don't believe it I had to see it I came back haunted I came back haunted I said goodbye but I I had to try I came back haunted C-c-c-came back haunted Everywhere now reminding me I am not who I used to be I'm afraid this has just begun Consequences for what I've done, yeah I don't believe it I had to see it I came back, I came back haunted C-c-c-came back haunted I said goodbye but I I had to try I came back, I came back haunted I c-c-c-came back haunted I don't believe it I had to see it I came back, I came back haunted C-c-c-came back haunted I said goodbye but I I had to try I came back, I came back haunted C-c-c-came back haunted They tried to tell me but I I couldn't stop myself and I I came back, I came back haunted C-c-c-came back haunted Just can't Stop Came back ha-ha-haunted [x9] Just can't Stop Shadow Of Death - Klayton (So Arises The Umbereth) Splatter Music Make Them Die Slowly - Church Of Misery (Familiar To The Beast) Hustling, grifting, trickery, double-dealing and deceit I did what I could to survive on these desolate streets In cold-blood spite I murder, life just an abject game I bludgeon you down if you have anything I can take I'll hang you high and drain your blood Sip on the nectar while your bones reduce to sludge Submerge your carcass in the drum Sulphuric acid bath, without a trace you're gone Psychopath, vampire lunatic Decadence burns in my brain With no penitence I smile as I bring you pain Enter my house of perversion A workshop of torment and death Adrenaline pumps in my veins As you draw your last breath I'll hang you high and drain your blood Sip on the nectar while your bones reduce to sludge Submerge your carcass in the drum Sulfuric acid bath, without a trace you're gone I'll haunt your every sleepless night And every time you close your eyes Sick and depraved, defective mind Everything I touch, dies! (in acid) Make Em Die! Make Em Die! Make Em Die! Slowly! Make Em Die! Make Em Die! Make Em Die! Slowly! Cries In The Night - Nox Arcana (Caine, The Boy Slayer) The Deathless Screams of the Dying Innocent The Temple Of Lost Children - Theodore Bastard (A Decade Of Death) Ten to One-Hundred Years of Carnage Eyes Without A Face - Dorian Gray Cover of Billy Idol (Through The Eyes Of Evil) I'm all out of hope One more bad dream Could bring a fall When I'm far from home Don't call me on the phone To tell me you're alone It's easy to deceive It's easy to tease But hard to get release (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face Got no human grace You're eyes without a face I spend so much time Believing all the lies To keep the dream alive Now it makes me sad It makes me mad at truth For loving what was you (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face Got no human grace You're eyes without a face When you hear the music, you make a dip Into someone else's pocket then make a slip Steal a car and go to Las Vegas Oh, the gigolo pool Hanging out by the state line Turning holy water into wine Drinking it down, oh I'm on a bus on a psychedelic trip Reading murder books, trying to stay hip I'm thinking of you and you're out there, so Say your prayers Say your prayers Say your prayers Now I close my eyes And I wonder why I don't despise Now all I can do Is love what was once So alive and new But it's gone from your eyes I'd better realise (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face (Les yeux sans visage) Eyes without a face Got no human grace You're eyes without a face Such a human waste You're eyes without a face And now it's getting worse Umbra - Moris Blak (Caine’s Experiences With His ‘Guardian Demon’) Music Of The Shadow Matta - Brian Eno (The Wrath Of Shadows And Flame) A Mystery of the Light No Peace (A Light In The Darkness) - Ironsoul (The Umbereth Weakens) A song of painful awakening I Am Nothing - Electric Wizard (The Priest, The Water, And The Void) Stillborn children, Saturn's children, the screaming dead. We have created this abyss, darkness surrounding us. Raise the flag of hate against this human race. Rise and kill, and wipe them all away. I am nothing. I mean nothing. I see nothing. I feel nothing – as I kill you. We, the old ones, did not forget. I am the Supercoven, I wait with bated breath. They think themselves as gods, now are they free? Mindless slaves to their lusts and technology. I am nothing. I mean nothing. I see nothing. I feel nothing as I kill you. I am nothing. I feel nothing. You are nothing. Yes, I am nothing. Gonna kill you, babe. Gonna kill you for nothing. I am nothing. I am nothing. You feel pain. Nothing. Nothing. I feel nothing as I kill you. The Fading Shadow - Arcana (The Umbereth Is Dispelled) We're all swept away by the winds And by the floods of pain We're all being crushed by the storm And the waves of indifference We're all being shattered And punished by the powers of sadomasochism Soon their powers are gone The shadows will fade away Out Of The Depths - Patrick Hawes (The Salvation Of A Murdered Boy) Out of the depths, Lord, Lord hear my voice, Hear my supplication. Wait for the Lord, With Him is mercy. He shall redeem his people. More than the watchmen My soul waits for Him Before the morning watch. With Him is plenteous redemption. Trust in the Lord. Into The Light - Brand X Music (Going Home) ‘Mama? I’m coming home!’

I have written something, but it was before this prompt. It is a good one, though. Sure to make you cringe in horror and wonder why you are reading it at all but can’t stop. Hehehehe! When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back

Actually, all I need do is go out on the sidewalk in front of the club on Halloween. Folks still leave flowers there. It is where he passed. But, that said, I’d probably venture a bit of capital to get in just once. I have a feeling River might invisibly smack the doorman if they didn’t let me in.

I was in the closet for 35 years, my whole young life. Such was the power of the times I lived in the 80s when I was coming of age. When AIDS hit I was at the right wrong time. I was 14 years old. I was 15 when the AIDS quilt was unfurled in the National Plaza. All those names! All gay! All . . . Deserving of their fate! So I was taught. So I believed. So I believed of myself. I was deserving of death for what I was. I turned ultra-religious as a Catholic. I took up my cross and followed Jesus, knowing that my same-sex attractions were caused by temptations of Satan to break me and my faith. I had the sign of God’s displeasure in the form of the Sum Of All Plagues, as I used to call it, in that the wages of sin were death and homosexuality was a sin so grave it deserved the worst disease imaginable as temporal punishment for it. Only temporal, too! Easily, if you did not confess and repent of being Gay and you died of AIDS then not only did you die of God’s temporal punishment, but you died eternally. The anguish of eternal separation from God was your lot. In a word . . . Hell. The Canon of Church supported this idea and it is why AIDS was not addressed by the Catholic Church until public pressure made them. Worse, the Canon of my Mother supported the idea as did the disgust of my father with it. Growing up in an inner city school district, if AIDS didn’t get you then the homophobic gangs would! I was thoroughly trapped in my closet. But, even when I went to college, I didn’t find freedom because the strongest fetters were still in the faith I clung to. I didn’t become a homophobe myself. I merely ceased to exist as a sexual being. I didn’t date either sex. I’d curb my longing for the unbelievably GORGEOUS guys I’d see at SDSU (my old Uni). I swear to Versace, the guys at that school, even to this day, are some of the most beautiful to walk the earth! Every variety in the candy box! I denied myself of them all. I was very ‘saintly’. I even considered seriously becoming a priest! Thanki God, really, that I didn’t! This is why there are so many Priest abusers out there. They try to retreat from themselves into the Priesthood and then they break down and become predators since they really can’t control their lusts and they go after prey that is easy. It is the ruinous dogma of the Church that facilitates this and that’s why the Holy See overlooks these Priestly ‘indiscretions.’ I recognized this, and turned away from any ‘calling’ I may have had to become a Gay ‘Priest’. When I went to work, I remained true to my faith. I fought very hard and remained very lonely. The burden of my ‘cross’ was becoming too heavy and no, no one helped me carry it, not even God. Soon the weight of it began to slowly crush me and then I went to a confessor and rather than help me to lift my cross of self-denial up, he licked me with the whip that all this time I had been taking my Sacraments in vain because I could not confess all my ‘sins’. Mostly my Gay ideations. That broke me, as far as the Church was concerned. I tried to remain for a while, but finally found the futility in it. I became suicidal. With my Mother’s death one of my only reason I had to live was gone. Fortunately, I still had my Dad who had changed significantly with his many brushes with death himself. For him, I started counseling. The counsel I got brought me, finally, to the seed of my suffering. I had denied my very self for too long. My true self was near to suffocation under the layers of guilt I held. I put down that cross, and accepted who I am. I am as I was made! If the One who made me made a mistake then how is that my fault? If He does not make mistakes then I must not be a mistake either. Then the mistake is in those who interpret God in a way where I am perceived as ‘broken’ and ‘disordered’. Now, with the revelations of how evil the Church has been in regards to the very issue, I am justified in coming Out and I congratulate myself for pulling myself out of the sucking black hole that I was circling. To those young ones who suffer in this way, I want them to hear my testimony. I want to keep them from what my fate became. I want to use my past suffering to heal the suffering of others. I write here as a means to do that. I want to be that ‘family’ member I didn’t have when I was growing up. I can’t say that everything is better for me these days. I struggle with ageism now, but that is my own deal. For the most part, it did get better! I just wish that I had allowed things to ‘get better’ earlier in my life than now. I applaud you all for having unfettered yourself while still young! You will find the happiness you are looking for as long as you are true to yourself and stay true to your love in others.

Men Are Made Of Broken Boys: https://gayauthors.org/story/mrm/mpoetry/16 Does it have to be serious?

I still grieve for my lost love . . . ❣️Halloween always carries with it a sad twist for me because of this. I’m thinking of doing a short pilgrimage to The Viper Room possibly this year. If not this year then next. My River and his sweet little brother . . .

See? Now there can be a sequel to The Secret Life Of Billy Chase: Billy and Brandon: The College Years.

So, Comsie likes Miles Heizer as his conception of what Billy Chase looks like. The younger Miles from the story ‘Rails and Ties’ to be specific. Well, Miles has grown up quite a bit since those days and yet his boyish good looks keep him acting parts for the High School set. His latest amazing performance in ‘13 Reasons Why,’ an amazingly prescient story dealing with a lot of the troubles and problems that haunt today’s youth, is just one of his latest examples of his talents. The themes in ‘13 Reasons Why’ are ones we focus on with our teen stories quite a bit and so you can get a level of the ‘angst’ feeling one might pick up in Billy and Brandon’s story in this incredible show. It’s on Netflix if you can get it. In any case, there has been some ‘shipping’ going on between the adorable cast members in 13 Reasons, and one of my favorites is the Brandiles! That being the coupling of Miles Heizer and Brandon Flynn. They even have had ‘kissey’ moments. I’m not sure these are in 13 Reasons because I’m still on Season One, but this may actually be real footage of their real kisses. There has been speculation for a while that they had a ‘thing’ going! Their publicists have denied it, but . . . Then there’s that kiss! I think this might be the closest thing we have right now to a real pairing of the real ‘Billy’ and a real Brandon! Both are adorable and rather fit the bill for what Billy and Brandon might look like in a few years as they age and get closer to college! Hopefully (crossing fingers) they last that long!

I actually address this sort of thing in my story ‘In Chandler’s Hands’. He is the older, but not too much older, gay guy I wish I’d had around when I was 14-15 and struggling with my sexuality. Having a ‘Chandler’ in my life would have prevented a lot of pain and opened a lot of doors that were closed to me then, including my Closet Door! He makes himself available. He is obviously gay and he shows an interest in Brandon (from Billy Chase), but not necessarily a sexual interest. Chandler definitely sees how gorgeous Brandon is, but he, being a 20-something, also sees how vulnerable Brandon is at this time in his life. Chandler’s Gaydar is getting strong signals from Brandon, but, rather than coaxing an admission of gayness out of Brandon, Chandler builds a relationship of trust with Brandon so that he can come out in his own time. By being a role model for Brandon, Chandler shows him how to do this ‘gay’ thing. Chandler isn’t bothered by his sexuality. He accepted it and, because of his fierce red-headed nature, defended it! He had a lot of the same doubts and struggles Brandon is his having, but he overcame them with two simple truths and one declaration - “I am as I was made. I am perfect just the way I am! You don’t thinks so? Well FUCK OFF then!” Chandler gives Brandon the message that he is perfect just the way he is and that no one should tell him different, no matter who or what he is! With this affirmation, Brandon lets slip his sexuality to Chandler. Chandler then vows never to tell another living soul about it and he never does, allowing Brandon to do that on his own. If we can be more like Chandler with our gay youth, then we can be a great help to them by being the best versions of ourselves that we can! The best way to teach is to show.

I can’t stand it . . .

Yay. Now I can blather at people senselessly!

I forwarded it per your message. Thanks

Is your email back up? I sent my submissions but then just read your email about having trouble. let me know if there is another way I can send to you.

“....right?”

Dawwww! Scotty with the waggley tail! 💓💓💓💓💓

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@Comicality pound it! ~fist bumps~ @Blue Dhalia now you have a story of your own to tell! ‘Levi and the Blue Dhalia’ sounds appropriate!