PBax

@Mancunian I write long winded questions. They pretty much beg long winded answers. The more info and shared insight the better. I read instruction manuals, read the signs on the front of store doors and windows, and before the joys of getting lost were ruined by a GPS in the pocket, I would stop and ask for directions. Bring on the info. I'm a junkie for the stuff.

While you're all here and interested in helping 😀 .... Blogs. Under categories some are listed "Author" and some are listed "Member" and I would love to know the difference. I don't remember anything about this. If I did a Blog here could I get edit/constructive advice, or are Blogs under a different ethos? Pre-stroke, the only thing I ever put on the site was short. I'm not in the right mindset to set off writing a novel a year post-stroke. 😁 As the site is organized, where is the appropriate place to exercise my skills using the short story--let's better call it the short-short story? I would like to be able to achieve start middle and end, take the gratification and start anew. I like foreplay as much as anybody but.... I had a great speech therapist. Grueling in a good way. Never left a session without a migraine. But every session we left on a super high note I could achieve. Start, middle, end and a new slightly different exercise next session. (Writing this took me 90 minutes. It's still not the concept I wanted to convey. But I'm pretty sure you guys can guide me to the right directions. Like I said, I'm not setting off the next great American novel. I'll be dead first.)

Thanks much, Mancunian and Bill W. I appreciate the encouragement!

Hi, Kbois. Thanks for the thoughtful welcome. Ugh. I've already found some trouble understanding how to navigate the site--and perplexed by what does what why. I might be calling on your help, lol. I hate banging on brick walls.

Hello, I participated here about a decade ago. Life, stuff, everyone else can fill in the blanks. Revived and logged in my old account. I haven't even look to understand how the site is organized now, or if or how or why my old submits exist--but I will figure it out or ask questions. I love writing. Though my previous time here was brief, it was very fulfilling. I feel compelled to participate here again. I'm back for two reasons. My love of writing never left. Most differently however, I survived a stroke a year ago. The stroke destroyed part of my brain--that's what strokes do. I have multiple expressive and receptive language skill challenges. I have had a lot of therapy and I continue to press the plasticity of my brain. I can't press neurons to try contact in new ways if I don't ask them to work in new ways. My stroke-brain is a work in progress. But at some point, I need to allow that the live part of my brain won't reconnect to the dead part of my brain. Surprisingly, some other parts of my brain are showing some new vitality. A real-life stroke story: I was entering doctor's waiting office. Like normal, the guy behind glass asks me was I sick, in the country, etc. I said no. He asked me to verify my insurance. Yes. Is my address and he reads it out. Yes. And then, like he has been doing the whole routine speedy spits out my phone number....and I just stared at him....and because I guess he didn't know to do with my pause he says "I didn't mean to tax you or anything?!" GIGGLEGAFAFUH ..... ...... (This is real, I did not create this. A real person in my doctor's office really said this to me?) And I said, "No, it's okay, I had a stroke a year ago and I still have problem processing information...That is my number...You said it very fast, but I didn't even need you to repeat yourself." He said he'd let the doctor know I was there. PBax

What I like about this story is the virility of the characters--not just physically, but emotionally and financially as well. It's important to have strong, proud and confident gay male characters. As a group (big generalization here, not directed at any one person or locality) it is sometimes too easy to self-stigmatize ourselves--even in this day and age. It's good to have characters that stand tall and are unashamed. That's my favorite part about this story.

What I can't figure out is why some of these guys with all the "masculine" facial hair are so busy shavin' their dick and balls into a puss filled follicle nightmare trying to make their junk look like it belongs to a prepubescent child. I just don't get it.

I'm so glad you found it both a little disturbing and enticing at the same time. I love the hint of uneasiness that contradiction stimulates. It makes me so happy that you liked the story.

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I'm so glad you found it titillating. It's different from what I usually write. So glad it evoked a response.

Carlos, there was another piece of paper inside the bill. But wow, thinking about secret messages hidden in the serial numbers on the bill itself--that would add a whole twist I hadn't considered. Thanks for reading!

He is late. He has always showed up and he’s always been on time. I’m worrying for no reason. As I bring my iced vodka from the coaster to my mouth, a few drops of condensation fall on my thigh. The concentrated chill startles my bare skin. I move the cold, wet glass, slowly and deliberately, around my nipple and let the sensation flow as my nipple hardens and begs for more. I set the glass down, close my eyes and imagine him standing there. I run my hands down my chest and stomach and find mys

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am trying to experiment for sure. I think one of the things I'm enjoying most about these little poems is how it's forcing me to really focus on words with all their associations and meanings and relationships. I'm very glad you liked it.

Very glad you found the story and liked it enough to want to see more. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I'm not sure if I'll use this as a first chapter to a larger story, but it definitely gave me some characters to play with. I am starting to think I may be able to do something more with them. Thanks again for taking the time to share your thoughts. It's wonderful how a few kinds words can be so helpful when I sit down to try and do more.

I didn't mean to suggest a defense for anyone--pro or con. If anything, I was trying to suggest that we are all doomed.

Irri, I'll see your sententiousness, and up the ante. I think that ultimately this is a story about predation. And as an apex predator, we are singularly disqualified from really comprehending the depths of our own brutality. And because it confuses and eludes us, we hide it from ourselves and imagine ourselves differently. It's no surprise we are fascinated by stories of werewolves and vampires and thrill to the idea of a hunger game. It's all about predation. We love the idea with passionate fascination. Because it's part of our core, it's in our blood, and it drives everything that makes us astounding and savage at once. And that's the conundrum, it's foundational to both achievement and failure. And I think that's why it evokes such vigor. And, yes, we (as a group of predators trying to live in harmony) have come a very long way. But in the end it's really been more about massaging our anxieties than dealing with the real issue. We are predators.

Oh my god, I so want to take a road trip with this guy! Edit: Okay, so I just read that this was staged. Either way, this guy clearly knows how to relax and have fun. Still having a grin fest.

evaporated waters stream gristled cracked crippled bare where to where denied, numb stale stone in your absence stripped stalled till you restore me

Light sifted by fine branching laces.... Love that image.

I think it's human nature to be excited by the idea of possibilities. Bringing them to life is something altogether different. Whether it's taking an amazing photo, or crafting a poem, or cultivating a new rose--it's always more demanding than it seems, and you have to take a lot of photos and write a lot of poems and grow a lot of roses and you have to be able to accept that a lot of it will be awful, and some of it will be okay, and only once in awhile until you're really practiced and really good will anything ever seem like it reaches the idea of the possibility we imagined and suddenly all that awareness rushes in when we think about picking up the camera, or finding a pencil, or going out to the garden and suddenly we're overcome and out of breath before we've done anything at all and can't imagine how anyone else does it and we decide tomorrow would be a better day anyway and the next thing ya know you've spent the whole afternoon watching cat videos on youtube. And I think that's all human nature too. Everything's a daydream until we pick up the camera, or the pencil, or go outside and smell the rose.

Thank you for taking the time to post a reply! I was concerned about this image, especially since it was so closely attached to the word carabiners. You are nearer than you know with the idea of a "key" and being suspended over a "hell" (and that most definitely feels reassuring to me) though the image you received is not the one I intended. The failure on that count fully my own. Tanka Play continues on. I hope you'll continue your feedback. Means so much.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. I'm still working my brain through Tanka, and after arranging/rearranging 5 lines over and over and over and over--well, at some point it's time to let it off the leash and see where it goes. I hope you'll continue reading, and continue sharing your thoughts. Means a ton.

Silence chokes my grasp… Fear threaded carabiners… Unpulsed voids descend... Lashed to the disquietude I have become the abyss…

My exploration of Tanka poetry.

Coldplay...sigh... The Scientist also rips me apart.

Having taken a first run at Tanka myself, I can really appreciate the effort that went into this. There's more involved than a simple glance at the page would suggest, isn't there. It's great that you picked up the pen after so many years and shared. You should continue.