jkwsquirrel

Thank you Jay. I can't tell you how valuable your story is, and thank you for sharing it. What you've described is exactly where I've been going with Brett. It's my hope that others in a similar situation can learn from this is that they aren't alone, and that things can get better, and that it's okay to ask for help.

Oh yes! The dominoes are all set up, just waiting for one little push to knock them all down!

Thanks Spikey! What a great overview of what's up in the story. You've captured much of what's going on and I thank you. I'll just add a few thoughts: I agree, communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, especially an intimate one. The boys will have to work on being honest with each other if they want to have a successful relationship. Billy knows what he wants to know sometimes. For instance, he "knows" his grandma won't get better. He "knows" his dad is sick. He "knows" something is going on with Brett that Brett's not telling him. But what he wants to know is that his grandma will get better, his dad is okay, and Brett's perfect. Oh, he also wants to know that no one could possibly know he's gay. Part of growing up is facing the reality that life isn't everything you hoped it would be, and learning from it. Billy will learn eventually, when he realizes he doesn't know everything. I love your description of Mike: "I didn't get a particularly creepy vibe from the neighbor at first." That's how it always starts. I understand your comment about the story being hard to read sometimes. It's definitely not a picnic. I put the boys through some horrible situations. I think what makes their situation especially troubling is that everything that happens in the story is plausible. There's nothing outlandish about the events of the story, this could be anyone's life. You get sucked into what's going on because you could see it really happening. Let's be honest, who hasn't wanted to grab Billy by the shoulders and shake him? "Grow up you little jerk!" I get everything you said and I agree. I wish I could say it's all going to get better, but in a lot of ways things are going to get worse. But I hope you'll stick with me, because it's always darkest before the dawn. As George says, "Life is never easy, sometimes it's less hard, but it's never easy."

Thanks DQ! While Dr. Reilly may know, Billy doesn't think she knows, and he's the narrator, so if he doesn't think she knows, but she knows, she wouldn't look like she knows, because he doesn't know that she knows, even if she knows and he doesn't know that she knows. You know what I mean?

I think you'll like it though!

Easter Sunday came and went with all its Easter activities. Easter, like most holidays, kind of loses its appeal when you’re a teenager. Sure, you get a day off of school, but when your parents stop giving out baskets of chocolates, you kind of lose interest. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but Brett. I had to talk with him as soon as possible! I had to figure out with him just what our relationship was going to be. He was the only one I could talk to about it, and he was three hundred

Thanks Rob! Other people often see us better than we can see ourselves, especially in our formative years. We don't see the potential, the beauty, the heritage that we possess within ourselves. Sometimes we only see the negative, the things about ourselves that no one else sees, and we need those voices in our lives telling us there is more to us than the negative thoughts and feelings, that we're worth loving. Billy is going through that process. He feels ugly, even though he's quite handsome. He feels awkward, even though he is quite charming. He even feels stupid even though he is quite intelligent. If he is willing to listen to the ones who see the good in him, there's no telling what great things he could do. But if he chooses the dark path, he could do a lot of damage to himself and others. A war indeed.

Thanks Arran! I'm overwhelmed by the wonderful response to the story, and to this chapter! I'm very glad that people are enjoying what I'm writing. George is a good guy. Remember that when things look bleak.

Billy is listening, he's just too stubborn and teenaged to admit it. Behind the "tough guy" mask he likes to wear there really is the sweet kid that others know is there. As for Brett, I simply don't know what you're talking about! Brett - drugs? Preposterous! Hey, look over there! (Jeff quietly escapes while you look away.)

The Friendly Tavern is still there! Not sure about the fate of the Rib Shack. SWPA is a great story setting. So many nooks and crannies and interesting hidden places, and the culture is about 30 years behind the times even today. Most of Billy's self-loathing and fear is generated from growing up in such an environment.

Hee hee! "hard on." Sorry, had a Brett moment there. I don't think people are being too hard on him. He is a dick sometimes, but he means well. They are growing up, but it's a painful process. Almost like a war... Hey wait a minute!

Billy's chip is boulder sized! He'll grow up eventually. I know it can be frustrating to watch him do such childish things, but it'll be worth it and help him to grow into a man.

I like to say Billy lives in a glass closet.

It was the Saturday before Easter. Things were going great during my vacation from school. Just not having to go to that hellhole was enough to make me happy. I’d been taking good care of Brett’s animals. On Good Friday, I’d spent the afternoon in Brett’s abandoned house carefully looking at some of his stuff. Nothing major. It wasn’t like I was rifling through his drawers or anything. I was just observing the various things that he left around his room. I just wanted to get a real feel

Thanks Lisa! I'd like to say that things will get better for Dustin, but... Is he the Broken Boy? Could be! Or is it Billy? Will his temper be his undoing? Lots to think about! Thanks for your wonderful review and your support!

This chapter was a turning point of sorts for Dustin. Billy can't save him. Billy's just a kid and when he had the chance to defend Dustin he blew it and Dustin got slapped. Dustin just wants someone to love him and save him from his misery. He tried to get it from Billy, and Billy slammed that door in his face. Where will he turn next? Can he ever trust anyone with his heart, or will he have to sink deeper behind the mask?

Billy having trouble acknowledging his sexuality is his standard operating procedure!

We'll see. He's certainly intrigued.

He's definitely a nasty individual. Can you imagine the abusive language Dustin must hear on a daily basis when there aren't witnesses in the house?

Families are weird, and way too complex. Some people just shouldn't have children.

I don't know what you're talking about. Brett, a stoner? No way!

I knew about the wax but never needed it. My feelings were kind of in the middle of yours and Billy's. I knew they'd be good for me in the long run, but I didn't like having them either.

Brett Reilly: Threat to All Humanity. I think he'd like that!

Time will tell!

That's teenagers for you. One minute: "I hate you so much and hope you die! Next minute: "Why are you mad at me? Was it something I said?"