jkwsquirrel

Just a month to go until W.A.R. Part Five - Retaliation. I'm enjoying the time off. I saw a bit of the world and have been working on some editing for Retaliation. Speaking of Retaliation, how about a sneak peak at chapter one? Here we go: Mom laughed. “Dustin Smith a better boy than Joey McKenzie? That’s ridiculous! Just look at their parents! Joey is a good Christian boy who has been nothing but a saint since your argument. Dustin is nothing more than a thief and a thug. Just look at him. I don’t like the influence he has had on you. And after what he did to his neighbor…” “Mom, I agree with you that what he did to Mike was really dumb,” I said. “But it was just a one-time mistake and now he’s being crucified for it!” “I hardly think comparing his situation to what Jesus went through is an appropriate comparison,” mom said. “Jesus never stole a car." Should be interesting!

Hi Jay, First of all, I'm sorry that you are experiencing so many family issues. Death often brings up many of the things that we'd rather not talk about. I wish your family would be a source of comfort for you and not an added source of pain. I hope that some good will come out of the situation. I only know you from this website, but from what you've shared with me in your comments and from your blogs I know that your life hasn't been easy and that you've had to develop a thick skin to deal with much of the crap you've had thrown your way. You have a good heart, and a lot of defenses built up around it because of the pain that others have caused you. You can only be yourself. You feel the way you feel. No one can force you to act in a way that you don't feel. I get what you're saying about not feeling numb. You seem to have come to acceptance, and understand the reality that even a life well lived eventually ends in death, and that is just the way things are. It doesn't mean you don't love your grandfather, it just means you've accepted the reality that his life has ended faster than some others might have. It sounds like he invested many good things into your life and into the lives of your family. What you do with those investments, the love, the laughter, the memories, are yours to do with what you think is right. I hope you can find some healing in this difficult time. Jeff

Back in the USA! Glad to be back. England was a blast. Jetlag is real. I woke up at 3am yesterday and 5am today. So, did I pick up an English accent? Not really, but I have been saying "mind the gap" all day long. Did I pick up an Englishman? Depends on your definition of "picked up."

Well, I'm off to England for a week! Maybe I'll come back with an English accent! I'll miss yinz!

Thank you all so very much for the wonderful comments! I'm so thankful for the many friends that the writing of this story have made possible! I can't say thanks enough! One thing I don't like about the new system is that I used to be able to comment on every comment, but I think that takes up too much space in the new format and gets confusing. So let me just say, I read every comment. I appreciated each one. I am beyond thrilled that you're enjoying the story. I can't wait to get started with the next part, but I do need a break and my real life will be busy in the next two months, so this is a good place to take a break. What happened to the pain pills? I actually answer that in Retaliation in the most anti-climactic way possible. Seriously. What will Retaliation be about? Billy vs. Joey will heat up. Dustin vs. Brett will come to an end. Dustin's life will go to hell. Brett will turn sixteen. Lots of focus on Billy and his parents. Billy will lose something in the first chapter that he's had for a long time, and he'll get his driver's license... eventually. We'll pick things up in March of the year following where Part 4 ended. Oh, and we'll learn a little bit more about Dr. Reilly and Brett's father. This book of the series was really all about growth and healing. In Broken Boy, it was all about testing the boys to the breaking point, and they all really fell short. In this book, it wasn't just about putting them back together again. They needed to mature. Billy learned a lot about what he could handle, and he had to do it without his dad to guide him. Brett hit an all-time low when he said he was glad Dustin's parents abuse him. He's come to regret those words. He tried to cope with things on his own by self-medicating. But that was never going to be a permanent or healthy solution. He needed Billy to help him find a more healthy way of dealing with his issues. Billy and Brett are learning that a relationship is about more than fun and sex. They're learning to accept each other, faults and all. You can't be in a relationship with a mirage. What I tried to do in this book was to open Billy's eyes to the fact that he wasn't really in love with Brett, but with who he thought Brett was. Then Brett did some really rotten things and Billy had to acknowledge that Brett is much more complicated than he'd thought. Being in a relationship with Brett is going to require a lot of patience and love. But through it all Billy learned that he really does love Brett, and that Brett loves him. Retaliation is going to be interesting. Some very dramatic moments, yes, but a good mix of the quirky humor that my characters bring to the story. It's so fun to be in these boys' heads. I don't want it to end!

Gee, Guess I should check this forum out more often! lol Hey thanks for the kind words! It means a lot to me. I'm glad that something I wrote can make so many people happy! Peace, Jeff

“Hey Billy! What's wrong?” Dustin asked. He must have noticed that I was acting different than usual. It's hard to act normal after your heart's been ripped out. “Nothing's wrong, Dustin. I've just got a lot of stuff on my mind,” I said. “Stuff?” Dustin asked. “Stuff like what?” “Oh, you wouldn’t understand,” I said. “Try me,” Dustin replied. “Okay… Well, Brett hates my guts now because I'm friends with yo

Even more awesome comments! I just love it! "Summer's End" will both answer some issues and set up some things for Part Five. That's the joy and pain of writing in weekly "episodes." I reveal a little and withhold a little, hopefully both giving you enough to satisfy you and get you excited to come back to find out what happens next. I try to give enough foreshadowing that nothing comes out of left field, but still offer some surprises. For instance, I hope finding out what Dustin has been doing in the park was both shocking and understandable, and the same goes for his relationship with Mike. My favorite reaction is "Oh my God! Wait... That makes so much sense when you think about it!" It's fun to try to be predictable and yet unpredictable. There are things coming in Retaliation that I've been setting up since Part One. Much of Rehabilitation was about the maturation of Billy. He's not the same boy who called his father an asshole and stabbed Dustin in the back without any consideration for Dustin's feelings. He's certainly not the same kid who punched the mirror. Consider the difference in his reaction when his mom came into his room and found him naked between Part One and Part Four. Rehabilitation has been a turbulent adventure. I lost some folks along the way when Dustin and Brett tried to destroy each other and Billy. But I hope if you've stuck with me you've enjoyed the ride. I'm still having fun!

Thanks everybody! I enjoy the comments as much as I enjoy writing. Some thoughts: There will be a part five, and a part six! W.A.R. Part Five - Retaliation will begin after my break. Not sure how long the break will be, but it won't be too long. "Billy is a dick." Yes. Yes he is. lol. It's something that developed over time. He was always a bright boy, but he's developed a bit of an arrogant streak about him. Part of the fun is watching him get taken down a notch or two from time to time when he gets too full of himself. He deeply loves both Brett and Dustin, but like he said, he loves them differently. A major and necessary development has been Billy coming to terms with who Brett really is. For the longest time, he's been blinding himself to Brett's faults. Over the course of Rehabilitation he's begun to see Brett as he truly is, not the image of perfection that he'd built up in his mind. Billy has ignored Brett's faults, but he's been forced to confront the truth. But it's a necessary step in their relationship. If the boys are going to have a real relationship they have to be able to accept each other as they really are, not as they might wish the other to be. Yes, Brett is a spoiled brat. Will he ever mature? Of course! But it will take time.

“Brett, I’m sorry. Dustin and I are friends and you are just going to have to deal with it,” I said. “That sounds good,” I said to myself in the mirror. “I’m sure he’ll understand.” I stood there in the bathroom looking at the faint purplish bruise which had formed around my eye after I’d gotten home from volleyball practice the previous night. I’d told Brett I was too tired to come over, because I knew he was going to ask a bunch of questions and I didn’t wa

Thanks everyone for these wonderful comments! I'm glad to see some maturity among the boys. Yes, they can give you a headache reading them, but try having them in your head and writing them! lol It's an adventure! Billy is learning that he doesn't always have to be right, and he doesn't always have to win every little argument. It's refreshing. I was happy with how he handled the situation with Dustin. Rather than digging deeper into trouble, he was able to move past a lot of the issues between them and come to a better place in their friendship. There is still much about Dustin that needs to be addressed, but that'll happen over time. I'm remembering way back at the beginning of Rehabilitation when Dr. Reilly said that Billy would begin to find peace if he was able to forgive himself for some of the things he'd been blaming himself. He seems to have done that, and now he's in a healthier place in his life. This chapter is actually the last we'll see of Dustin in this part of the story. Funny, as much as he dominated the direction of the story he only appeared in a few chapters this time. The question was asked, "What's up with the black hair?" There's a reason for that in Dustin's mind. Red hair is more easily identifiable. If the wrong person should happen to see Dustin at the park he won't stand out as much because of his hair. There's only so many guys who fit the "tall lanky redhead" description. He's taken that away from any would-be informants. But of course, the elephant in the room is young Mr. Reilly and his upcoming apocalyptic reaction to the events of this chapter. Let's face it. We all know it's not going to go very well. Brett's a different kind of cat than Billy or Dustin. Believe it or not, Brett's grown a bit through this part of the story as well. He's had some really significant things going on through the events of the story, and those will come into play here in the next chapter. Let's just say that not everything is as it may seem with Brett. It's vitally important to the story that events play out as they will in the upcoming chapters. Brett will get what's coming to him eventually. Let's be honest, he's done some really rotten and nasty things to Dustin and to his mom. He totally deserves what's coming to him. But when the time comes and he has to pay for what he's done, we'll see what Brett Reilly's really made of.

Keeping a secret away from Brett was always agonizing. I thought it was bad when I was keeping my feelings for him hidden back before we got together. But this was even more painful. How could I keep from him what I knew about Dustin? Did I even believe it myself? But there was something else, too, that was keeping me from sharing everything with Brett. I had the nagging feeling that he had taken my pain pills from me. As I thought more about it, the last time I’d seen the

Thanks everyone! I really enjoyed your thoughts on the story. There are many dynamics at work between all of the characters and it's fun to see the interactions between them and your reactions to them. Dustin's got himself into some dangerous territory, and apparently so has Brett. Billy has worked himself into a corner in his mind concerning how to deal with Dustin's situation. Billy is a very logical thinker. He believes that what's right is always right and what's wrong is always wrong. It's fun to throw some gray into his life to see how he handles it. He's learning.

Things had settled down pretty well in the week after mom and I moved back home. She would go to work, then I would either have the house to myself or go over to Brett's. Or, she would go to work and then Brett would come to my house. Then we would have sex. My god, we had so much sex that summer! Funny, I could remember every detail, every breath, every thrust of our first encounter. The second time was actually better than the first time! It didn’t take long for us to become really good

Great comments! Thanks guys! So a few thoughts on your thoughts: Keep in mind Brett's feelings on psychiatry. Brett is the son of a psychiatrist, one who wrote a best-selling book on the subject. He's seen his mom's career do nothing but take her away from him. He's seen her be pulled from his life by whatever their problems are. He sees her clients as losers. But he's not like them. He's better than them. He doesn't need psychiatry like those weaklings. He is the son - superior to the freaks who steal his mother from him. That's not Brett being a brat or a jerk, that's Brett being the 15-year-old son of a psychiatrist. But to be told that he needs therapy by his own mom? That's not just insulting to him, it is threatening his very identity. Brett is also familiar enough with the ins and outs of psychiatry to know that psychiatrists prescribe drugs. Brett has little respect for therapy, as revealed in his conversation with his mom in the last chapter. However, I think all of my characters could use some therapy. Did Brett steal Billy's pain medicine? Perhaps. We haven't heard the last of it, that's for sure. We'll learn a great deal about Dustin very soon, something that may help explain why he's been acting as he's been.

Tuesday was going by rather slowly it seemed to me. Brett had locked himself in his room since we got back from Pittsburgh on Monday evening, with the only sound of life being the rock music pulsating from his domain. Dr. Reilly spent most of the day working in her study. I tried to read a book in my room, but Brett’s music was too distracting. I closed the door to my room and headed to the front porch to sit for a while. But that was boring, so I took a walk in the park. It was nice to ha

Thanks Shadow-dude! It's been interesting focusing almost exclusively on Brett in the last few chapters. Brett is in a rough place in his life at the moment, and it's been fun exploring how he's handled it. Brett can be a real dick at times, but he also has a big heart. He absorbs other people's emotions because he seeks to understand them very deeply. He believes his mother doesn't give a crap about him, and so that's the response to her. He thinks she cares more about her patients than she does about him, and that drives him insane. She is his mother, not them. That she would expend more energy on their feelings than his just makes him furious. I think we saw that in his argument with her in this last chapter. He was doing okay until Dustin called him on his crap, and he's still reeling from the events of that day. Because Brett cares so much about people he has built up his defenses to protect himself from others. He's overly sensitive to insults and he takes things very personally. Billy goes for the jugular when he's angry, but Brett goes for the heart. Brett doesn't do subtle very well does he? I love his determination, though. George is a different kind of cat than most dads in this kind of story. He's a bit larger than life because that's the way Billy sees him. But as his health is declining he's becoming more and more human. Billy is beginning to surpass his old man. Having a severe health crisis will make anyone begin to think about one's mortality, and begin to prepare one's loved ones for their eventual demise. We'll explore this a lot more in part 5. I haven't focused all that much on Paula. I think Billy just can't figure out where he fits into her life. Billy can relate to his dad more easily than with her. She's a wildcard in the story. She can go a number of different ways. However, don't underestimate her fierce loyalty to family. This is a woman who gave up her career to care for her mother; who married a man who was a drinker, smoker, womanizer, and an ex-convict and then tamed him; and who Brett looks to as the model of a good mom. There's a reason Billy fears her knowing about him more than anyone else. She may be the toughest character in the whole book. So then, thanks for the kind words about the story! You don't know how much I appreciate it. It's been a rough couple of months in my real life and I've really appreciated the support. I'm glad I can share this experience with people like you.

Brett's got a lot on his mind. Most of it then comes out of his mouth. Some growth may be on the way, though!

Thanks as always Spikey, Good thoughts abound in your review. There's still much to come in the relationship between Billy and his parents. We'll see how things turn out. As for Brett, he's in a really bad place in his life. I think we'll see some movement toward maturity soon.

I think she always knew, but denial is a hell of a drug.

Brett is a very desperate boy who sees his world collapsing all around him. He's got everything he's ever wanted and yet he's terribly lonely and afraid of losing what he holds most dear. You're right about him being resistant to therapy. He's resistant to the whole idea!

Brett's about as subtle as a hammer, isn't he? "Yeah, if you didn't throw away my pot I'd love to have it back..." Brett sees therapy as beneath him. Look at the way he talks about his mom's patients and the work she does. He thinks of people who go to therapy as weak. They've pulled his mom away from him. Now she wants him to become one of them. It's hurt him very deeply. You might be on to something concerning the coin collection. George seems very insistent that Billy keep hold of it. You should be worried about Paula - But that's a tale for another time.

Brett thinks his life is crashing down all around him and he's scared of what the future will look like. The only way he knows how to cope is by lashing out at everybody. Ever since Dustin called him on his crap he's been desperately trying to tighten his grip on everything he holds dear.

Thanks as always! Brett's mom is quite the character. All of Brett's accusations were from his heart. He desperately wants to have a real relationship with her. He sees her sending him to someone else to get help as the ultimate betrayal. That Billy would take her side in this has wounded him very deeply. Are there more drugs in Brett's box? Nah. It's just an expensive box. I think Brett was hoping Billy had just forgotten to get rid of the pot.

I walked down the hallway at school and went into the empty bathroom. I stood at the urinal and waited, but nothing was happening. Then Brett walked up next to me and stood at the next urinal. He whipped out his cute limp dick and balls over the top of his boxers. He had no problem peeing. “Don’t you know you’re supposed to leave a gap in the urinals when another guy is here?” I asked. “Really?” Brett asked. “Is that some kind of law?” “Yeah. You only stand right next to