Boxerdude

Hi Vic, I guess I was or thought I was lucky when I came out to my parents. It has been a long time ago, I was 18 when I came out to them and now I am 42. My mother was upset but said she loved me anyway and go up and left the room. I was there in the dining room left to look at my father. I just started crying and told him I was sorry if I disappointed him. I was not looking at him when I said this, I was looking down at the table. The, in some what of a stern voice he said, " Son look at me, I looked up, he continued, you only disappoint me when you disappoint yourself!" I cried even more. He asked why I was crying, and I told him that was the last thing I thought he would say. He came over to me and gave me the biggest hug. He then asked me again, are you disappointed, I answered no that I had never felt free in my life and I knew I was gay with out a doubt. He just hugged me and told me he would always love me. My mother on the other hand, oh I thought she was okay until about 6 months later when I started dating this guy and he would call the house to ask for me. After about the 3rd time, my mother told me that she did not want "any of those boys" calling this house ever again. I was torn apart. Cell phones did not exactly exist then let alone being able to afford one. But my boss at the time, had no problem letting them call me at the store, for short conversatons. My mother never really got over it until after I had met my current partner. I had moved to Dallas when I was 23 and found Mike about 6 months later. We then moved in together 2 days after my 24th birthday. I had always gone home or been home for the 4th of July, so I took Mike with me and we stayed at my best friends house. I went to my parents to visit and found my little brother home. He is 6 years younger than me so that would have made him about 17 at the time. I told him first about Mike. He gave me a hug and said he loved me and wanted to know when he was going to get to meet him. So I took him over to my friends right then and there. They hit it off immediately, my brother looked at him and said " I hear you are my new brother-in-law!" Mike just laughted and gave him a hug. Well after that, mom made it clear she was not ready to meet Mike, so I went back to my friends to be with Mike and we had a great weekend. We spent most of it with my brother and then went out to the "Bar" which one of my other best friends owened and he made a big deal out of it and we got free drinks and danced all night. Of couse, everyone was very envious of Mike as he was a real catch. My friend, Ron, who owned the bar look at Mike and said you know he is a lifer, right? Mike said he would have settled for nothing less. Everyone loved him. Well, we went back to Dallas and around Labor Day started thinking about the holiday's and wondered what we should do. So some time in September, I called my mom and dad and invited them down for Thanksgiving. I told them we would rent a hotel room for them to stay at so they would not be uncomfortable and could leave to go there if they felt that way at any time. Oddly, they accepted it. Well the nerves started getting all touchy now. I had gone and done it. They came in the day before Thanksgiving and we gave them directions to our apartment. About 3:00 the knock on the door, they had already checked in at the hotel, and Mike and I greeted them and I did the introductions. Mike was ready and took drink orders. Mom and Dad both wanted margarita's and Mike and I had our Scotch. Seemed like a little liquor could calm the nerves a bit. After about an hour of visiting in the living room, Mike and I showed them around the apartment and they were very impressed. It was nothing what they thought it would be like, my dad said actually nothing is what we thought it would be like. Mike then looked at him and said what do you mean? Well, since there had been a few drinks, my dad was honest. He said well we were really nervous to meet you. Then he started to giggle. I was in shock and afraid of what he was about to say. My mom got all red in the face. Dad said, "Well Vicki and I were afraid that you might actually answer the door in a dress." Oh my god, my mother could not stop laughing. Mike and the rest of us hooted and hollard for at least 30 minutes. Then my mother said something else completely out of the blue, she looked at me and said "Well at least he has a nice ass!" Oh my god! Now I was embarrased. Needless to say from that point on, everything went along very well and we had the start of a great many Holidays together. When they started to leave to go back to Ark, my mom turned to me and said "I would never have guessed that my son would marry someone more handsome than my sister would." She giggled again and they were off. Since then, everthing has been fine and they all love each other and we are a tight family. That was 17 years ago and it is only getting better. I have always thought it was a little tough, but in the end, we all had a good laugh. David

Cool, Nick, I like the way you think!!! I can't imagine what you will be doing 10 years from now, but I suspect it will be helping people in one way or another! Follow your heart, and the path will be fullfilling. David!!!

Kevin, sounds like you are at least a live and kicking!! LOL It is good to hear that you are going out to, I think at your age it is important to get out and meet new people. I moved to Dallas the week of my 23rd Birthday and have never regretted it! So, I understand what you are going through. Houston has a pretty good night life pretty similar to Dallas so take advantage of it and have fun!! Hey, I met Mike through a friend of mine one night when I was at Throckmorton's Mining Co. We hit it off right away and could not believe that this gorgeous hunk was interested in ME!! So, my point is, you just don

Oh, you are much more adventerous than I am. I just pay the price and get the new one's. All though, for my printer, they have started coming out with generic brands. Much cheaper with the same quality. Power tools, hmmm, a man who is willing to use power tools - I may have to make a trip to England real soon!! LOL!!!! David

Congrats again! You are have come a long way. I for one am glad that you decided to write as I am enjoying everything you have written from you poems, your short story, and now all your other stories. You deserve all the encouragement all of can give you!! Great Job and well deserved!! I am very glad that I had the chance to get to know you!! Keep on writing!!! David

WOOT That is so cool Nick!! I read the first to Chapters of B.B. to day and loved it. I have to be careful, I was bored at work and printed them off so that I could read them. (had to look like I was working you know) You have a great start on the book so keep it up. I know something good will come of your site. Fate has a way of coming through that way!! You have worked so hard. No I can go back and finish WTDBYAM! Keep it up and Congrats again!!! David

Oh how I agree. I have the same thing my bogs. Kid's, no way. You can't just give them a treat and put them in a 4 ft kennel and walk away for awhile!! LOL Kid's also cost a lot of $$$. I like the fact my dogs love me even if I scold them. All they want to do is please. Kids are "please me or else." David

Well, it sounds like a handful with the cat's!! I don't have cat's but you have seen I do have 3 Boxers and Rat Terrier (rescue dog) and they aren't as bad at pestering me brush them but do understand about the going outside issue. With the dogs, I have to make sure I do it at least once an hour if not more so they can go potty. But, I did train them to start telling me when "they" want to go out. I bought a brass bell, like you would see in a hotel to ring. I keep it beside the back door and when they need to go out, they ring it! Took me about 20 minutes to teach them. Boy, that has saved me a lot of trouble. How old are the cat's? what kind? I bet you couldn't live without them? You get attached to having them around!! Love can be a pain. Speaking of that, glad to here you an Mick are moving right along. Sounds good!! Have a Great Week! David

Nick, your poem is beautiful! If I had not read or been reading WTDBYAM I would not understand it as much, but I can see the pain and I can see you growing up just in the words you wrote. Your dad, at the age he made that decision, was a wise young man. He did make the right desecion for both of you. You are definitely growing up to be a great young man!! Keep that poem close to you as it will always remind you of where you came from and where you are now!!! Hugs, David

Well, Nick, I guess I am going to have to stop reading WTDBYAM and go to Jump Off. LOL I want to read something else you have done. Way to go on all the new ideas and stories. Have fun at your party and enjoy, you deserve it!! David

OMG, I had Mike watch the video with me and I started to cry. We both agreed that it reminded us of each other 17 years ago. The words to the song and everything. Thank you for sharing. Mike and I don't often talk much about our beginning as much as we do where we have ended up. So the song really brought back some real emotions we had forgotten about. It was refreshing. I am so glad you shared that with us!!! You have more energy than I do, but guess being 20 years your senior, that can happen with time. I don't know how you can even go outside? Here in Dallas, it has been over 100 almost everyday and I know Houston has to be worst because when I lived there (as a kid for about 5 years) I remember how humid it was. Keep up the good work, it will all come together in good time. Nothing happen by accident. David

Hey Kevin, As you know I live in Dallas, my family though lives in NW Arkansas. I am having a harder and harder time going home to visit myself. Because Mike and I have been together so long, we have established ourselves and are very happy together. But, everytime we go home, everyone thinks that we can fix everything because either they want money or they want us to do something to fix their situation. It drives me nuts!!! I don't mind calling, but I really hate having to go back there. So, you are not the only one who feels that way. You are not alone and don't feel guilty. For years, I tried to fix things, but it just ended up causing problems between me and Mike and no one else really cared about that. So, I just go a little less often and make sure my stays are short and I don't do "anything" other then relax and eat. There is nothing wrong with being happy with your life and you are right, you can not fix their's. Even if you wanted to, they would have to be willing to listen and follow your lead, which no one ever seems to want to do because that means they would have to "DO SOMETHING!" You keep yourself focused on you, you are the only one who can make you happy. Now a boyfriend are partner can "add" to the happiness but still it comes down to you. It took me 10 years, of being with Mike to figure that out. Boy what a different person I am today. You learned it at 22, so you are about 10 years ahead of where I was. You have a good head on your shoulders and you should be proud of yourself. I personally am very proud of you because you are wise in your thoughts and decisions. Have a Great Week!!! David

So glad you are feeling better and in a good mood. I will have to get started on one of Don's story, can't pass up a good recomendation like that. But, I must say, I hurt, C James is a great guy and I am sure he deserves to win reader of the month but have been trying so hard to get caught up on WTDBYAM. I am on chapter 26 and it has only taken me 3 friggen weeks. This working is for the birds, I don't have enought time to read!!!! LOL Keep up the good work too!! Boxerdude

Nick, you know I am older than your dad, but you can always email me. I will always be your friend and try to listen. I know how hard it can be to get over stuff like that. Kevin is right and we all will be there for you. There is nothing to appologize for and definetly no need to worry about us. We are like an extened family because we care about each other. This is a much more down to earth friendly group of people that I have ever run across in this type of setting. Sometimes, you just need a shoulder to lean on or cry, I know I do! Your never alone, so you keep taking care of yourself. Hugs and Kisses Boxerdude

Wow, sounds like a cool match up with you and your new found friend!! I hope it works out as well. I think it is neat that you choose to speak in chinese. I am sure it helps you feel more at home. Well, I guess it is just tough luck on Luigi's part! Hey, what is the signifiance of the tatoo. I can't imagine YOU just picking something off the wall saying "that looks cool?" Chapter 24 was great, supprised to hear the 25 has already been sent off!! WooHoo!! Boxerdude

Wow Nick, I am so jealous. I love Cali. Mike and I went about 3 years ago to San Francisco and spent a week touring the city and went up to Mendosino and stayed at a bed and breakfast for about 3 nights then came back to San Fran. It was soo cool, I love the city. We had another couple with us (girls) and I told them that I had planned an afternoon for everyone and it was my treat. They were shocked when they got on a boat and we went to see Alcataz. It was soo cool. I have a picture of me sitting on the steps where Clint Eastwood sat when they made the movie. I got to talk to a lady who grew up as a little girl on the island. Her dad was a guard. Anyway, I can imagine the weather was great too!! Give Taylor a high five for me for nailing your cousin when he caught the ball. I love that stuff. People always think we are wimps. I love it when people think that about me then they find out that that I am one test away from a Blackbelt in Taekwondo and have won many tournaments, the look on there face is priceless. :wacko: Congratulations on your license. When does Taylor go for his? I haven't got far enough into your story yet to figure out who is older. You really go me tickled when you were having your first "out of the closet" episode. Talking about all the cute boys, the commercials, I could just picture you walking around all sassy like and then " I am Gay." Great writting!!! I would just love to have known what was going on in Taylors mind!!! Sounds like you guys did a lot of driving while on vacation? But I am sure you had a blast. Oh, by they way, did you have plenty of money? Bring any home? Was dad right or wrong? LOL I was talking with Kitty last night and she was surpised about you getting you license. She is so sweet. I love talking to her. So was Monday you official Birthday? What did you do for your birthday, better yet what presents did you get. I bet Taylor got you something special!! HeeHee Well have a good one, Hugs, David

LB, do you think you could post something on the form for those of us "newbies" about the summer anthology? I only figured out what it was when Kitty explained it to me. But I think it would be cool, if you posted a string so that we could ask questions of you so we could understand it better. Some of us might be willing to right for the Fall or Winter one if we had some idea what it was about and what it took to do it. Trying to take your mind off of otherthings. hee hee. How is your training going? Running of the neighbors yet? I have several friends who have the Rav's and they just love them. They always trade them in for the newer model. I have heard nothing but good reports about them. You did good guy!!! Boxerdude

LB, nothing comes without a price, waiting is a price. But all good things come in time. Go back to you Buddah teachings and meditate on them. This is nothing new. Believe in what goes around comes around. Maybe Buddist say it differently, but it is still the same idea. You have given of yoursself more than many of use could have ever imagined doing. It will come to you, just be patient . The energy of the world does not pass by those who have consistentley given it positively. You will be rewarded. It is the way of things, but it might not be on your timiming which is the hardest aspect to accept. Believe in fate, believe in love, believe in positive energy and you will be rewarded. Be stead fast, and you will succeed. The universe will show itself when it is ready and I believe that you will be given a gift. Boxerdude

Hey Nick, have a great vacation and don't be to sore at your dad. He is only doing what most do and that is trying to what is right for you. He probably should have given you some sort of explaination though. Just don't let it ruin you having fun!!! Take care and maybe SOOTB 24 will be out. Hugs, Boxerdude, David

Can anyone else feel tension growing in here???? :mace: I am guessing there is more to this story than is being told. "I Hate You?" Hummm somone has issues.

I have a young lady who works for me who is from Laos. She has been educating me about the region. Well since getting to know you and reading your blogs, I thought it would be nice to know more about what you have been through and experiencing. She has only been in the states about 10 years, but goes back frequently. Anyway, she was telling me that in Thailand there are a lot more openly gay males than here in the states. She said the culture is different and seems more accepting. So, I guessing that you are having an even harder time trying to meet someone here in the states. Companionship is such a needed thing, even for a Buddah!!! By the way, that guy that is telling you to stop hitting on him, he is either a real jerk, or he really likes you and is hiding it!!! You know the more they try to push away, the more they are asking to be pulled in close!! I'd keep it up, if not for just the fun of it. I am sure Kitty would agree. She can be quite the jesture when given the chance!!! Good choice on suites, I am with CJ though, I hate ties. Have you seen the weather reports for Dallas lately! 100- 102 every day and the humidity is horrible. Oh, by the way, why didn't you have your suite made for you before you came back to the states, according to my friend, you would have saved lot's of money and maybe even got a better fitting suite. She has all her clothes made there and sent back. She was telling me she can have her clothes hand made for about 1/3rd the cost of shopping here? Just curious. Boxerdude.

Well, it sounds good about the PC and the Car is nice to have when needed. The suite thing, it is frustrating how expensive they can be! Then there is the shirt, the tie, the belt, the sock, and oh the shoes. What a pain. What are gas prices where you live? In Dallas, regular unleaded is running about 2.85 a gallon. I have 2004 Ford Explorer 4x4 (all wheel drive). I get about 13.5 mpg it this horribly hot place. Have to run the a/c all the time. Run's me about $50 a week for fuel. I do drive a lot though. Well, hope things on the home front are calming down. Can't wait for Kitty to finish her editting so you can post it. By the way, you and CJ both recongized Journeymen. I am not familiar with him or his work. Does he have a story on Nifty or somewhere that I should read? Sounds like everyone enjoys his writting. Boxerdude

LB, did you finally get your computer up and running? The last blog you mentioned something about the chinese software? Just curious, if my PC goes down it drives me nuts till I get it back up and running. How's the new car? Spending more time running around to stay out of the "rents" way? I would be. Anything to get me out of the house. Any nibbles on a job? Just curious. Boxerdude.

I stand corrected! :: But the knives are still really cool ... I have a 6" and a 24" ... not replicas, either, but the real thing. Quite expensive, too. Those do sound cool! The Gurkha knives (Kurkis) are very famous, and rightfully so. BTW, you want to talk about arguing with the parents? I was in Nepal with mine, and wanted to buy an absolutely beautiful handmade 18" Kurki, complete with Karda, for $30!!!!! (today it would be far, far more, especially to get here!) Mom had a fit: she was sure I'd get arrested if I tried to bring it through customs! (she was wrong). I was 19 at the time, but they had paid for the trip, so I gave in and didn't buy it. A decision I'll always regret. Since then, I've even bought double-sprung stilettos (the blade both extends and retracts at the push of a button) overseas, and customs didn't take them off of me (I sorta forgot to declare them.. ) One that I picked up in Thailand is disguised as a fountain pen, and has a 6' blade. My favorite gadgets were some I saw (but did not buy) in the bazaars of Northern Pakistan: concealed firearms of every conceivable design! Pens, lighters, etc, etc, etc. VERY clever. Even a knife with a single-shot derringer built into the haft! Of course, I wasn't about to try and get those through customs, so I didn't buy any, but they were great to see. Wow, CJ, you seem to know a lot about this stuff. What gives? The travel sounds cool too!! I wish I could or could have traveled as you guys have. I think I would just love it. Anyway, just curious about where the knowledge came from. Intriging minds want to know. LB, how did you get interested in all the Martial Arts Stuff? I did it because my little brother started taking it and I was afraid he would kick my ass some day. LOL Boxerdude

LB, sounds like you may need some mediation time. Sorry about the parent issue, man that sucks. I can only stay with my mom 5 days at the most, then I start wigging out. They don't seem to ever want us to grow and then don't want to let go either. Makes for real mind %$#@. I think getting back into your Karate will be a very good thing. I am just shy of my blackbelt in Taekwondo and I know working out helps me with my stress and calms me as well. Something about mind over matter!! LOL I never got into the knives so much, but I did learn how to fight with a staff which is my weapon of choice. I actually keep a small one near my bed at night incase anyone decides they want to visit uninvited! Little tid bit I am proud of, in 1988, Taekwondo became an official sport of the Olympics, but the first time any sport becomes official the first competition is exhibition only. In 1987, my Grand Master, D.W. Kang assigned me to train to be on the Team that was going to go to Korea to compete. I came so close, but I spun around on my right knee and blew out my ligaments and other things in my knee. But, I only tell you this not to brag but to let you know that I understand how much martial arts can help a person mentally as well as physically!! Anyway, keep your chin up so the S**t can't hit you in the face. Old saying of mine. One day at a time. You have a lot of people out here supporting you and your efforts. Sincerely, Boxerdude :2hands: