The alternative boy - Prologue Clyde is a 26 years old transgender male. He lives at an apartment which he shares with a good friend. Living in a small town, near his family, he feels rather bored with his neighbourhood. Not many people of his age live in his town. His street mainly exists of retired and inquisitive people. When he works in the garden, they often come give him unnecessary advice. “I suspect, they just love to see a young man working in the garden. Finally something is happening in the street”, he thinks. The first time the neighbour from two houses across the street told him that the hedge he was trimming, wasn’t horizontal enough. Clyde was a boy who didn’t have a fast response. He stood perplex while she was minding his business. He could only stutter and nodded. “I am going to take care of it mam”. Next year came, he was even more surprised when she was making the same remarks while he was trimming the hedge. It pissed him off quite a bit. And so, he wanted to move to a place with young people. He had lived on his own before, in a nice town further away. It had been easy to hang out with the friends he made at the gym. “Mên, I love that place”, he said to himself. Clyde started high school this fall again. He had studied before, but due to his transition process he quit. When he finally understood his identity, it was crystal clear to him that he had to go into transition. However the process would take years. The waiting list to even get started talking with a professional was as long as one whole year! And the rules to start with hormones demanded to have those talks first and live in the role of the gender he felt like. “Living as a boy wasn’t that difficult for him”, he wondered. He told his friends and family rather quickly. His friends were immediately very supportive, most of them were LGBTQ. They started using his new name, Clyde easily. He felt happy with his new identity and name, but sometimes he felt living a lie. All his documents had his female name on it. At university most students and teachers treated him as a girl. He felt like he was a split person at times. During his new study he made new friends quickly. The class was mainly occupied by boys. Clyde liked gaming and sports and found some fellow fitness enthusiasts among them. They started training together and sometimes they hang out. During a project he met a very friendly classmate, Stephen and they immediately became friends. After a while he found out that Stephen and Timothy, one of the guys he trained with where brothers! They shared their family name but it was a name, common for the neighbourhood. Clyde had not expected that they were brothers. He became good friends with both of them. Clyde and Stephen started working on their project at their place. Clyde felt at home at their place. Their parents where very nice, as where the girlfriends of the boys. Clyde and Stephen were working on their project, when another boy entered the living room. He introduced himself as the older brother of Stephen and Timothy. He was a skinny young man and a bit pale. His black hair felt on his shoulders and he had a black beard. “Hi, I’m Patrick”, he said. “I’m Clyde”, Clyde said while he shook his hand. They were about the same height. Patrick wore a T-shirt and a loose fit jeans. He was on bare feet. Clyde wore one of his favourite T-shirts, a black one with a bright light blue tribal on the chest, and black sport shorts. Clyde always went there by bike, which took him about one hour. Public transport took him the same amount of time and he liked riding his bike. At their place he always changed shirts because he sweat a lot. Slow biking did not exist in his dictionary. Clyde had no real thoughts about Patrick. He looked somewhat alternative with his hair and beard but that was about it. “I’m going to grab my second screen”, Stephen said to Clyde. They were working on a laptop with a small screen. Stephen got up and left the room. Patrick stood in the entrance to the hall and stared at Clyde. Clyde noticed this and bend further over the keyboard. Clyde glanced back and he saw that Patrick was still looking at him. “No, looking wasn’t the way to describe Patrick’s gaze”, Clyde thought. Patrick was staring at him, with a powerful glaze. Clyde looked away. Patrick started talking: “I went to that college too”, he said. The one you’re going to. “Oh, what did you study”? Clyde asked. “Computer science”, he responded. “Oh”. And back was the silence again. Clyde was thinking: “what to ask more”. He tilted his head and saw Patrick staring at him again. “Those piercing eyes”, Clyde thought. He felt stupid and clumsy. “Did you like your study”, he asked. “Yes it was nice”, Patrick said. “Oh”, said Clyde. He was thinking about what to ask to keep the conversation going, when Stephen got back with his screen. He noticed the intense glaze of Patrick while Stephen sat down next to him. Patrick left the room and kept Clyde confused behind. Clyde was puzzled, did Patrick hit on him? He never was stared at like this before. The boys turned back on their project and in the following days, Clyde forgot about the event. First dating experience with men At his 26th Clyde started dating men. He came in contact with Jeffrey, an extreme sports fan. He never skipped an Olympics, summer and winter. They started chatting and after a while they hit it off. Clyde was crazy about sports, he even changed his sleeping schedule and stayed awake at night, to follow the Olympics live from Rio the Janero. This way, he could combine it with watching the Perseid swarm, crossing the sky during the night. But now we get ahead of the story. A few years earlier Jeffrey and Clyde met. Jeffrey was cool about Clyde being a trans guy. Actually, he said he preferred Clyde’s build, because he thought anal sex was dirty. Jeffrey was very different from Clyde. Sadly he didn’t sport at all. Clyde wished to train together but that was not really possible. They tried to train together a few times but it was no match. However they could talk about sports for hours. Jeffrey was also struggling with himself, he had difficulties with stepping up for himself, he had no boundaries and at an age of 26 he was already running towards a burn out. Jeffrey stayed at Clyde’s place the first time they met. After a long evening of talking, they started kissing. Jeffrey was not really a great kisser in Clyde’s opinion, but that was oke. They started stripping their shirts off and continued kissing. Jeffrey reacted strongly when Clyde started sucking his nipples. He moaned. They stood up and were stroking each other. Their hands were all over the place. At this point Clyde could feel the hard dick of Jeffrey, pressing against his crotch. He never had felt that before and it was a huge turn on for him. He started stroking that bulge and even though it was his first encounter with another male, it felt right and he was aroused. Clyde pressed Jeffrey on the bed and they started making out again. Clyde loved the feeling of the naked chest of Jeffrey against his. He stripped the jeans from Jeffrey and started grinding him. Clyde was sweating already and his pussy was wet and hot. He wanted to feel Jeffrey inside him. Grinding that dick with his crotch turned both men very horny. “If you want you can touch it”, Jeffrey said to Clyde. They lied side by side, kissing and stroking. Clyde’s hand went down to Jeffrey’s bulge. He stroke the dick, still covered under his boxer short. It was big and surprisingly warm. Clyde stroke Jeffry’s stomach and his fingers slipped under his boxer. It was the first time he touched a dick in his life. The dick wasn’t very long but it girth was big. He was hard but soft at the same time. The experience was totally new to Clyde and he liked it immediately. He started stroking the hard cock while they kept kissing. Jeffrey was already leaking pre cum. After a while, Clyde bend sideways and licked the head of Jeffrey’s cock. He got even more horny right away. The only thing he could think off was to slide over that nice fat cock of Jeffrey. He started sucking and after some time went back up to Jeffrey’s nipples. They started making out again and decided to go for it. Clyde grabbed a condom, medium size, but it seemed rather difficult to get it on, due to the cock girth. Jeffrey said it was too tight but they went for it anyways. Clyde removed his boxer, he was soaking wet. He sat on Jeffrey’s lap and they started kissing again. Clyde could feel the cock pressing against his buttocks. He wanted that cock so bad. This was a thing he had fantasised about many times. He tried to get that cock inside his pussy but it didn’t fit. Jeffrey was rather passive so Clyde tried his very best. He was so horny and wanted to feel Jeffrey inside him, but it just didn’t fit. Disappointed he turned on his back. The boys chatted for a while and then helped themselves. A few weeks later Jeffrey and Clyde met again. After some foreplay they decided to try it again. They put on the condom and Clyde positioned himself on top of Jeffrey. He felt the hard dick pressing against his wet pussy. Jeffrey pulled Clyde at his hips and shove him over his cock. Clyde moaned. For the first time in his life he was getting fucked. Only a few seconds in, Clyde was starting to come. “Faster, faster”, he said. “Ooooh I’m coming”. Jeffrey felt him tightening and grabbed Clyde’s buttocks. He slammed his cock a few times in Clyde’s pussy and Clyde came instantly. Clyde sunk his body on Jeffrey’s and panted heavily. He was sweating and still enjoying what just had happened. Jeffrey said: “I felt you tightening, I didn’t knew that was possible. Actually I had no idea what I was doing at all”. “It felt so good”, Clyde said. “Wow I came so hard”. They cuddled and went to sleep. Clyde loved it so much to spoon with another man. He loved that Jeffrey held him in his arms. He couldn’t sleep of excitement, he wanted to hug and to kiss and stay awake the whole night. He had really missed the intimacy and was totally content. In the months that followed the boys kept chatting with each other. Clyde always loved to talk about sports with Jeffrey, but there was a big contrast between the boys. Clyde was very manly and sportive, Jeffrey was extremely insecure, and especially unhappy. Clyde tried to make avances, he thought, “even though the extreme differences he would never meet someone so crazy about sport as Jeffrey”. Due to Jeffrey’s depression the boys didn’t saw each other often. Clyde noticed that he was rather desperate for attention. He even kept the contact on with Jeffrey while that boy was in a very negative phase of his life. Clyde knew he was desperate. He wanted sex, he wanted to kiss Jeffrey, cuddle, do things together, but it was not mutual. Occasionally they had sex, but Jeffrey was always 100% passive, lied on his back and ‘forgot’ about Clyde. He was cool that Clyde had no dick, but Clyde always had to help himself and that felt just wrong. Clyde missed interaction dearly. Over the years they kept in contact but Clyde told himself not to get in touch with Jeffrey again. But sometimes he felt so desperate and he tried to date Jeffrey, just for the sex, which was never a success. “It is like drugs”, Clyde thought, “once it was crazy good, but never he got that same intensity again”. Dating In the years that followed, Clyde started dating other men. Every time when Clyde had a date, his dates took off when he told them he was a transgender male. Clyde was looking for something long term. He was looking for the one. For his dates he usually went for a coffee or a walk. Most of the times he came clean after a few dates. Clyde wasn’t emotionally involved 100% before he told his date about himself. This was a way to protect his feelings. He got turned down often but he knew that that would happen. I would suck, however, when this would happen when he finally met the one. But at this point he had not met that young man yet. Soon he found out that dating in the gay scene was totally different from the straight scene. Clyde once was in a lesbian relationship, followed by a straight relationship with another woman. Bot relationships were no success, but he learned a lot from it. Some things were good, but he knew he didn’t picked the right person. The male – male gay scene was totally different. He found out it was way more sex oriented and not monogamous. Clyde wanted sex badly, but he was looking for a nice guy he could trust and build something up together. So far he wasn’t successful yet. He had some sex dates here and there, on average 1 or 2 a year. The guys always wanted to have unsafe sex even though Clyde insisted in safe sex. They always tried to go unsafe and Clyde knew this was not a good sign. He knew he was vulnerable because he wanted sex so bad, he was willing to make a lot of concessions in his preference. But then he met Patrick, the boy with the gazing eyes.