Will Hawkins

sitting on his bead -- sitting on his bed use it if you have too ok -- use it if you have to, ok I am reading other comments about being in a treehouse in a cyclone and beg to reserve comment except to say, every time I read about a storm, I bless the memory of my Mother. While I was growing up she inculcated me in her attitude toward storms. She loved a storm and I recall as a young man, of about 11 or 12, sitting through a hurricane, which is what we call cyclones in Florida, watching the neighborhood garbage cans and lawn furniture blowing down the middle of the street, loving the show that Nature was putting on. My Father was in the USAF and on overseas assignment at that time and the local policeman who was driving about stopping by the house several times, just to check up in the 'lone woman' and her son (and to have a hot cup of coffee). Mom and I were both laughing and chatting during the storm. It was her attitude that bred into me my love of a good storm even today, some 75 years later! By Jupiter!

my planes to travel -- here we go! The plural of 'plan' is plans. Planes is a plural for aircraft. on the for north west coast of the island -- on the far north west coast. I have built and special place, -- I have built a special place.. just ling shorts and a cotton -- this one confused me -- do you mean long shorts? Hey, Q, do you want to see this type of suggestion? I know many authors become exercised (read: pissed off) by readers making suggestions about spelling errors and homophones (look that one up on Google), but others appreciate having the suggestions. A spell-checker does not make any corrections such as this, it will accept any word that is spelled correctly -- that is the job of a Beta Reader or Readers.

Alright, I will not disagree with your statement about 'dropping or adding' letters to our joint language, but this reaction is in the interest of friendly cooperation, not total agreement. I have missed Blighty in my extensive travels, except for getting lost in London airports, but I am quite experienced I reading 'Brit-speak' from having lived near the Canadian border for many years, but then they use French in that country as well, and I am sure that is done purposely to confuse me. As a sometimes author I am enthralled with the 'prehistoric' words that Brit-speak writers spice up their efforts with, (and, yes I know, a preposition is not a word you end a sentence with!, but then, that rule comes to English by way of Classical Latin where the preposition is a part of the verb form, does't it?) I include in this category such words as 'whence', and 'whether', and of course many other such prehistoric terms. And I am not even including such items as a 'cracker' being a noisemaking device used at Christmas parties, (not a resident of the state of Florida or a crunchy underlayment for peanut butter as a snack) or potato chips being referred to as 'crisps'. And accents! Oh my God, British accents are not even understood by my British friends. I commented recently to such a friend that I had attempted to listen to a portion of the Queen's Christmas Message on the BBC and was unable to understand more than an occasional word of it. He responded that he could not understand the 'Queen's English' either because he had been raised in a different part of London from the palace and was very confused by her accent as well. We both would have to use 'subtitles' to understand several of Britain's accents! I feel in the interest of International Cooperation, I can accept 'lounge' for living room and 'chips' instead of French fries just as long as I can eat 'fish and chips' which I enjoy greatly. May I offer you a sandwich filled with 'minced meat' and doused with 'tomato sauce' with your chips? Oh. let me see -- is that 'catsup' or 'ketchup'? See -- we have our own problems with spelling, and for God's sake don't get me started on punctuation -- commas, for example, are a morass from which no author ever escapes! Misterwill

The quotation, "Here be dragons" is said to appear on ancient maps delineating certain area of terra incognito. That may be apocryphal. No antique map has yet been found with that quotation, either in English or in Latin, but rumors persist that we have just not found the right document yet. The statement is certainly appropriate for this story, however. 'Hic sunt dracones' would be the Latin for the saying, supposedly lettered on maps of regions of the world which were unexplored and dangerous. Congratulation, Stellar, on creating an interesting story that links teen-aged angst about being gay with mythology so successfully.

Okay, now there are three to move away, but there is still Salamander to take care of. I assume Alessandro will have a part, willingly or unwillingly, with that conclusion. Bur Sam is very young and needs training. Des can take care of that however. Interesting reading Kat and we are coming near the end. Leave it to you to wrap everything up with a bang!

Letting Salamander know that Des was still alive would have been unpleasant, true, but to my mind was the best way to have handled the situation. Now Alessandro has screwed himself. One twist after another, Kat, you are a magic author!

Come to think of it, Sam's performance on the phone call was a little over the top -- I wonder if it was a baited hook? After all, Desmond still has a vile enemy iin Salamander out there and he may assume (rightly) that Salamander is too dangerous to be allowed to run free. Perhaps Des is setting up a trap, using himself as bait to remove the Salamander threat finally and totally. It would be just like you, Kat, to create such a trap and bring Des's concerns to a final conclusion -- you are known to be sneaky! And there are still a number of Chapters remaining in the story -- easily enough writing space left to wrap the Salamander threat up and leave our two men happy-ever-aftering.

`i am still waiting for the other shoe to drop...

I am going to wait -- holding my breath to see if their deception works. Good luck boys!

"Aha, the game is afoot!" The phrase comes from Shakespeare's King Henry IV Part I, 1597: "Before the game is afoot, thou still let'st slip." It is also a phrase used by Sherlock Holmes when pursuing a lead in a case. No matter which one you are quoting it means that something we have not yet been told is happening

If Des were dead -- yes, the whole story would be over. I am wondering about that last kiss -- what was transferred from mouth to mouth?

There are mechanical tricks that an author can use to represent a flashback -- a series of dashes, a change of font, or a line across the text. If flashbacks are confusing readers an investigation about how other authors have handled the situation might be productive. I am writing a story in which some of the communication between characters is nonverbal and is signaled by using a different font (typeface) and it seems to work pretty well. Even using Italics might be enough of a signal to a perceptive reader.

It is easy to see how that mysterious drug might become popular (and addictive), but doesn't anyone use a lubricant in MM sex in this story, or need to clean up his dick afterward, or is the reader just assumed to be so familiar with the process that mention of mechanical things like that is unnecessary? I am somewhat experienced with MM sex and my asshole just clamps up tight at the thought of 'no lube' not even saliva!

I have seen a demonstration by an expert, of lock picking, in this demonstration, a padlock, with a paperclip. The demonstrator used two clips, but said, if you only had one, you could break it into two pieces. He used one of his clips to apply tension to the barrel of the lock and other clip to jiggle the pins internally until the barrel turned and the lock popped open. I imagine that a really good thief/assassin like Des could do it quickly and easily, enough so that he might not even bother about a lost key, but his kit of lock-picking tools had to be readily at hand -- otherwise he is going to go through a lot of paperclips. 😀

I have just read the guidelines for the Comments section and I will reward the author by making the first Comment I have made to date on this story. I have enjoyed watching Des get his revenge against the two characters so far who have done him harm. I wish here were some way to make the scars from the treatment by his Grandmother disappear, but without magic, that cannot be. Jason will take care of his training and provide a career path for Des, not the best path, but at this point in his life, any path would be some sort of path and as long as he keeps to his promise not to use his abilities for personal revenge...

eyes glassed over - This use of the word 'glassed' is not wrong, but the usual expression would be 'eyes glazed over' clothes for diapers - cloths for diapers. The word 'clothes' is a noun meaning articles of apparel (pants, shirts, dresses, etc.). The word 'cloths' might be used for squares of cotton that can wrap up a baby's bottom, i.e. diapers. This is not quite a homophone as the two words are pronounced differently, but they are a close match.

killed for treason on site - killed on sight for treaso Both a homophone and bad word order here.

Is Dathilda's migraine from absorbing Brandon's hurts? If so, she is truly a dedicated healer. By the way, i made a suggestion for a correction in the last chapter. The problem I saw is the result of using Grammarly to correct errors in text. If Grammarly spots a word that is in error, perhaps a spelling error or something like that, it will substitute another word for the erroneous one, but the program is not smart enough to always pick the correct word. The Editor must watch carefully and change the word to the correct one, so the error was not your fault. As an author, just add the services of a Beta Reader to help in those cases. I know that by the time a Chapter gets published, the author has read over the work so many times, he is sick and tired of it and his eye will sometimes zip right over an erroneous word without even seeing it.

From time to time in the stories I read on GA somebody gets a wound sewn up without using any anesthetic. Every time I read that my toes curl up -- hey, that would hurt, i am glad the characters on GA are so gutsy, but i don't think i could take it without screaming!

An unknown accept slurred -- An unknown accent slurred One small word error the Editor probably missed. Will

Talk about an explorer-sailor like Columbus, sailing over the horizon, looking for a new route to the spices of the East! This is sailing over a new horizon in the relationship between Jordon and Brandon. It is looking for a new land of the mind between Creator and Enabler, a land from which there may be no return. Scary to the max.

a couple deep breathes -- a couple deep breaths Correct part of speech. breathe is a verb (I think) -- breath is a noun

Just as a matter of interest, having nothing to do with the story, you mentioned lightning bugs. The Brits have a cute name for them. They call them 'fairy flies'. I just think that is a nice name for the little blinkers. Remember, its all about sex!

A very typical reaction from caring parents. It is only too bad that there are not more like that in th world.

Somehow the 'weird' woman smells like cop to me and with Kieth's sudden announcement saying goodbye to Brandon makes my CPS bump itch.