GanymedeRex

The story was very well written and had great characterization. I did finish it and it didn't sit well with me because humans are toolmakers and the existence on this planet is a situation placing people disconnected from their potential. That's okay - not everyone has to love the story. You've written others I have enjoyed as well.

These colonists have descended into repulsive barbarity.

This story is moving at a good pace. In this chapter, the detailed retelling of the childhood was not necessary and probably could have been abbreviated. That's a nitpick though as this story is quite good.

Quokka is a great world builder. That's for sure.

The part about the Trilateral Commission really cracked me up. There are totally people like that out there.

Clearly, I joined the wrong YMCA.

I wish I had friends like this in 9th grade! (I guess I did, but they didn't have that much independence). This is a second or third read, though I don't recall getting through this all the way before. It's such fun.

This was such a great start to a great story. I hope James picks this back up one day. It's good that he holds stories that aren't working out - this one looks like a good candidate to go somewhere interesting.

This is an outstanding work of military science fiction. It has a lot to offer on many levels and would stand up on its own as a published popular novel. There are some very interesting concepts in this story related to AI and genetic modification - both things which will play a role in our future.

It's nice to think about the lifetime impact of memories - both the bad and the good.

This is a really great START to a story. I just don't see it as complete as is. I don't find the attitudes to be surprising given the time period either, so you've written a great character. Where does he go from here? I'm kind of getting tired of the overused trope about the churches assigning queer kids to damnation. Sure that happened, but not all the time or even most of the time. How about having the kids meet a pastor or a youth group that helps him out? Just a few thoughts . . .

It's nice to have an illustrative image. Funny how those AI images get minor things wrong, unless the character in this story has 6 fingers. I'll read it and find out . . .

Thank you for an update to this moving and beautiful story!

Ok. That was unexpected, and hot too! Nice affection towards Winkler.

That Kenji sounds adorable. My favorite part was the spirit voyeurism whereby Dallen could feel Kenji's love for him. I read that part 4 times. Nice!