Wayne Gray

I hear you. It's hard to imagine how anybody can justify hurting and abusing kids. But, somehow they do. Elias was lucky ... he got away. I know that's not the case most of the time, but there was no way I was writing that.

Thanks, jaysalmn! I hope you like it even more this time. Thorn Wilde and I have spent quite a bit of time polishing up these chapters ... so I hope you enjoy the cleaner, more refined version.

Awesome. Glad you're reading!

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the little addition. 🙂

Hello, Etotsira. I'm assuming you mean if Troy found out that Grant had read the journal. Yeah ... Troy would likely not like that much at all. Nobody wants to think they're being "handled," and that someone knows far more about them than they're letting on. Grant feels like he needs to be very careful with Troy. He has been snapped at a couple of times now, and that clued him in that Troy is having a hard go of it. Also, the lack of acknowledgement from Troy that the house used to be his home told Grant something as well. Everything points Grant toward a gentle, patient approach. I think how you feel concerning Troy (Grant too, actually) is pretty much right on the money. He is resigned, wounded, and now he's in the place where he's reminded of all of the happy things that he has lost. Stated simply, he's hurting. I'm glad you're along for the ride. Thanks for commenting!

It is heartbreaking. It's awful to watch someone suffer, even through fiction. Grant noticed Troy's pain, and he now realizes that the guy is just aching. He tries to mitigate here and there, but there's only so much he can do now that Troy is there and committed to the job. I hear you about sadness in entertainment. I don't read or watch purely sad things - there's enough of that in the world already. But, it's hard for the highs to mean anything without the lows. There will always be some kind of struggle to overcome in my work. And it's funny that you bring up the comments made to readers during serial works. Essentially, I'm just trusting previous readers of the work to not ruin what's coming for the rest of the readers. I also have to comment carefully so that I don't do that exact thing ... but I do always try to comment. If someone takes the time to comment on my story then I certainly think that deserves a response. Thanks for reading, and for the time spent to comment. 🙂

Troy's struggling hard, and Grant feels bad about forcing him into his current situation. That said, Troy needs to process his grief. His grieving process was stunted, but now that he's back at the house he's forced to feel all of this stuff he had tried to bury. Grant may have initiated things due to his curiosity, but now that Troy's there Grant really wants to help him. How he'll do that, we'll just have to see. Thanks for the great comment, Jim.

You're right. Troy is so prickly and defensive while Grant is tentatively feeling his way forward - taking little steps that he hope won't upset, or drive Troy off. The whole time Troy is there, he is forced to remember, forced to feel, and that is bleeding through all of his interactions. We'll just have to see how things go. Next chapter is coming on Sunday. I'm really looking forward to that one. 🙂 Thanks for reading and commenting, Tom!

Those are some good points concerning the van, the logistics of getting it repaired, and a good theory concerning additional home repairs. Troy will need a place to be while the van is in the shop. Unfortunately, he has experienced sleeping outside, and he just assumes that he will have to figure out some way to survive until the van gets fixed. Grant doesn't seem overly worried about money. He's getting paid well, has a bonus sitting in the bank, and had additional funds when he moved to Barre. More on his financial situation will come later. 😉 The journal is almost a character in this story. It catalyzes many things, and sort of gives Grant a roadmap to "handling" Troy. That sounds awful ... but Troy is in crisis-mode, and has been for over a year. He could probably use a bit of handling until he can level out. It will take something special to break him down, to get him to accept more help. There's more to come. Thanks for commenting and reading!

Debated between laugh and sending a love reaction ... I settled for the middle ground. Feel better soon, tim!

Emotion is the idea. Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed the story!

Finding safe places to be overnight is hard when you don't have a home. We serve many homeless patients, and that is always a question we ask - "Do you have a safe place to sleep?" because it's a huge risk factor for all sorts of psycho-social issues, safety concerns, and just ... god, there's so much. So having a safe place for Troy and his van is tremendous. They're both getting something from the interaction. Grant needs repairs, while Troy needs ... well, Troy needs a lot. But, don't underestimate the subtler need that Grant has to be a helper. It pains him that Troy hurts, and that he needs help. Grant will do his best to give him what he needs, so long as Troy can accept that. Thank you for the comment and for reading. Stick around till Sunday ... next chapter is a good one. 🙂

It's one of the very few things he has left. He has pride in his work, in the ability to stand on his own feet. He gave up just a tiny bit of that to Grant. And ... Grant finally realized it. It's why he tried to frame things differently. "Eh, you're doing me a favor." Grant smiled. "I hate throwing good food away." It was his attempt, at least to make Troy feel better about having to take the food. Thank you for the comments from the perspective of lived experience. That's a powerful thing.

I'm glad you can feel it. His ... tenseness. That was the goal, to try and express how hard just being there is for him. Thanks for reading and commenting. There's more to come on Sunday ... and that chapter is one of my favorites. 🙂

You're right ... Troy has budged, just a tiny bit. He does see it as a low point, but I feel as you do - it's the first step on a brighter path. Grant had to see and hear Troy before he really "got it," that he would still be hurting over John. Sixteen months is a long time, but Grant had no way to know that Troy was in emotional limbo. That he hadn't totally processed his way through John's loss. It does make sense. To Grant's service-oriented, new provider brain, Troy is in need of help. Grant recently finished a rather long journey focused on learning how to assist those who need it, and now here's someone who needs help he can provide. True, it's not medicine, and Troy's not his patient, but the drive to lift Troy up is still there. Now that this little moment has happened, let's see where they end up. Thanks for the great comments.

Yeah, I don't know if I could have made Troy feel all right either. Grant really is trying. He's playing a little catch-up - at first he didn't know how bad Troy's situation was. Now that he has more of an idea, he's even more determined to help the guy out, even if Troy doesn't seem all that receptive. Grant has a lot of empathy, and Troy's pain sticks out to him like a fire on top of a mountain. Thanks for the comment, and for reading. 🙂

That's right. Troy's eating a real meal, and a lot of it too. He's having a tough time, but at least he won't be hungry. We'll see what happens between the guys ... time will tell. Thanks, Chris.

You're right, it's tricky going. Troy is just aching. He hasn't truly dealt with losing John, and now he's back at the place they had shared. He feels trapped, and in a way he is. So, naturally his hackles are up, and he's barely holding himself together. Then there's Grant, who didn't truly think through what coming back to the house would do to Troy. He's beginning to realize how much pain Troy is in, and as a result Grant has bitten his tongue at some of Troy's sharper responses. Grant has an advantage, though. It may not quite seem fair, but he still has Troy's journal. If and how he uses it may make all the difference to how things go between them. Let's find out. 🙂 Thanks for writing, Parker.

15 November 2018, Tuesday 6:11 a.m. Troy watched the upstairs windows of the house from his van. He was up, dressed, and ready but didn't want to wake his customer. He had cleaned himself as well as he could. For that, he used a little of his bar soap, and some of the near-frozen water in the fridge instead of the typical baby wipes. For his first meeting with a customer, he had to make the best impression he could. Along with the rest of him, Troy's cock and balls had not appreciate

I’ll admit, it sounded like you were channeling tim. 😃

Me too! Thank you, Thorn.

More than that ... You talked about the INSTANT POT. Nothing else needs to be said.

Thanks, Dave! It feels good too. 🙂

If we have to open a box to make dinner, then we have taken a very critical look at ingredients before ever putting that box into our shopping cart. If something has ingredients we can't pronounce or preservatives, it doesn't go home with us. This sort of forces us to follow your advice above. Multigrain breads, sauces, whole grain pastas, canned beans and some vegetables (ones we can't get fresh), and spices. I think that's about it for the middle of the store. Most of our stuff is on the edge. It means there's more prep and a little more skill required, but cooking can be fun. At a minimum meals will contain things you know. You won't have to guess if it has propyl paraben, or an "acceptable amount of formaldehyde". You make homemade granola ... mmmm ... you just got even sexier.

Thanks, rick. If anybody ever wants to geek out or want information on exercise just let me know. 😄